


Things Don't Always End The Way You Think

by CaliKayeTylers



Category: Asking Alexandria, Black Veil Brides, Breathe Carolina, Falling in Reverse
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 23:53:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 141,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14629658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaliKayeTylers/pseuds/CaliKayeTylers
Summary: Sequel to Our Ups and Downs.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 2.1

 

October 3rd  
Pomona, California

The High Voltage tour.  
Abigayl let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding as she read the flyer on the back door of the venue. Less than a year ago she would have loved to be on this tour. Now though? She'd rather have her entrails ripped out with a spoon.  
If she was honest it was a good idea though. A co-headlining tour with Falling in Reverse and Breathe Carolina. It was definitely going to be energy packed.  
"Hey Ty? You get everything moved in okay?"  
Aby nodded as David put his arm around her shoulders. Why he called her Ty she really didn't understand but it didn't bother her.  
This was her second tour with Breathe Carolina and they'd become a lot closer over the course of a few months. Especially after he'd caught Rainey, his ex fiance, cheating on him. They hung out a lot during tour and off. He and Tommy had even taught her to skate a little, but she assumed that was just for their amusement watching her fall off the board. The point was they were good to her. She had needed a distraction and they'd helped her. Plus all of them knew her story, and they knew why she'd left. She didn't have any secrets and that felt nice.  
"I did. Everything's set up. I was just enjoying the sunshine." She said with a smile.  
"You're awesome. I gotta go back in for soundcheck, just wanted to make sure you were okay."  
"I'm good. Go do your thing."  
He gave her a wink and lightly punched her shoulder before heading back into the building.  
Abigayl caught herself smiling and shook her head. She was not going to fall for another musician. She'd had more than her fill. Grabbing her pack of cigarettes from the top of her boot she took one out and lit it up. Bad habit but hey, who didn't have one?  
She was about to go back inside when another bus pulled into the back on the venue along with a van and trailer. The thought that she should go inside went through her head but Aby dismissed it. She had every right to be here. Why should she cower? Yes, she left. Abigayl knew she had hurt both Ronnie and Jacky a lot but surely they had moved on. They probably couldn't care less about her existence.  
Troy was the only one that got off the bus though. He hardly even made eye contact with her as he hurried up the steps of the dock and into the venue. Abigayl watched for awhile as FIR's equipment was all moved inside then it was just one guy left unpacking the merch cases.  
"Hey!" The man called out to her. Aby had to admit he wasn't hard on the eyes. He was taller than her. Dirty blond hair fell into his grey eyes as he waved.  
Alright MAYBE it was a bad idea and MAYBE she just didn't want to be alone when Ronnie and Jacky got off that bus but her morals weren't stopping her from smiling and waiving back.  
"Hey there. Need some help?" She called back to him.  
"Sure, come on down here!"  
She so shouldn't.  
Abigayl felt a twinge of guilt as she slipped off the edge of the dock. Maybe she could at least apologize to the guys. It wouldn't fix anything but they deserved to know why she left. That's what she would do. Sometime in the next few days she would somehow get them to sit down with her and let her explain. In the meantime she was going to squeeze some info out of their new hire.  
"Thanks." He said as she picked up a box from the trailer. "My names Owen by the way."  
"You're welcome. I'm Ty. I'd shake your hand but mine are a little full." She laughed.  
"Excuses, excuses." He teased, grabbing another case.  
Aby had to admit Owen was pretty cool. He was smart and kept up with her smartass mouth. She wouldn't mind being friends with him. Maybe it'd make the tour more tolerable.  
About twenty minutes later they were putting up labels for the merch and joking easily like they'd been friends forever.  
"So I gotta ask, how it is touring with Falling in Reverse?" She asked innocently. Yeah she probably should have told him who she was but then he'd have just hated her too.  
Owen shrugged. "This is my second tour. The guys are all really nice and so is the crew. Don't really spend much time with the actual band though. Ryan and Derek but that's about it. Ronnie's only said like three words to me. He's changed a lot from when I've seen him before. He's not mean but he's not friendly either. You know his 'wife' bailed on him? It's horrible. Just didn't come home one night. I can't imagine how that felt. But then I guess about a month later he and Jacky split up too. They rarely even talk to one another. I'm hoping this tour will be better than the last."  
Aby felt that guilt way down deep. She'd done more damage than she had thought. The realization hit her like a freight train: she had finally turned Ronnie into the sardonic asshole everyone believed him to be.  
Trying to hide the fact that there were tears in her eyes, she sat down the tape gun. "Will you excuse me for a minute?" She asked.  
Before Owen could reply she took off down the stairs to the actual stage area where the bar was. She almost made it there too before a flash of purple caught her eye. Jacky was down in front of the stage, his guitar in his hands, talking to his tech. Her heart actually ached as she watched him. His hair was a light brown again and longer but other than that he looked just the same. As long as she was away from them Aby could make herself believe that her leaving had been justified but now she knew that wasn't true. She'd hurt the two people she loved most in the world and all because she was emotionally inept and selfish.  
"Miss, you okay?"  
Blinking tears away Aby turned to the bartender who looked like he'd be better as a security guard than a bartender. Hell his arms were thicker than her thighs. His green eyes honestly looked concerned though. How long had she been standing there?  
"Uh, yeah, I think so. Can I just get a bottle of water?"  
"Sure thing." He answered, grabbing one from a cooler behind him and setting in on the bar. "On the house. Hope your day gets better." He smiled.  
Abigayl thanked him and left a tip when he turned away before heading back out into the lobby area where the booths were sat up. Bad idea. Ronnie was there talking to Owen about something she couldn't hear. Any piece of her heart that was still intact burst into dust. He hadn't seen her, which was a positive but she could still see him. He didn't look all that different either except it looked like he'd been taking his anger out on the weight equipment.  
As he stepped away from the table Aby tried to hurry back down the stairs and behind one of the doors but managed to get unbalanced and fall on her ass at the bottom of the stairs. Why did she even try?  
"You okay?"  
Aby didn't even want to look up as the familiar tattooed hand reached into her line of sight. Hesitantly she let Ronnie take her hand and pull her up. She still couldn't look at him.  
"I'm fine." She whispered more to herself than to him.  
"Good. You should be more careful."  
Why wasn't he yelling at her or saying how much he hated her for what she'd done? Confused, Abigayl finally looked up at him. Those deep brown eyes she loved so much roamed over her body but in a protective way, like he was making sure she wasn't hurt. The only thing hurt was her pride.  
"Ronnie-"  
"Don't. Abigayl I've had this conversation a million times in my head." He said quietly so only she could hear. "But not one of those times was I able to forgive you. No excuse you came up with was good enough. I'm not even angry anymore. It's not worth the energy to be angry at you. Just do your thing and I'll do mine, okay?"  
Aby had to swallow a few times before she could get her voice to be steady again. "Yeah...okay." She managed to get out.  
He raised his hand like he was going to touch her hair but stopped short then turned away and walked back into the main room. The second the door closed her legs gave out. Right there on the floor she put her face in her hands and bawled her eyes out. There was nothing she could do to stop it. She wasn't even aware when Owen knelt down in front of her.  
"Hey, hey it's okay." He said as he pulled her into his arms. She calmed down minimally as she clung to him. "Come here."  
Abigayl let him pull her off the ground with one arm around her waist. She tried her best to get a grip as he walked her behind the tables and lifted her up to sit on a couple of the cases. When she tried to wipe her eyes again Owen grabbed her wrists.  
"Don't do that, you'll have makeup all over the place." He said using the bottom of his T-shirt to dry her face. "You wanna tell me what that was all about?"  
Aby shook her head. "No, because then you won't just talk to me, and I've enjoyed your company so far." She said honestly.  
"What if I pinky promised not to treat you any differently?"  
She thought about it for second then put her hand out. Owen smiled as he linked their pinkies together then laced the rest of his fingers through hers. Her heart fluttered a little bit and she let it. After all why not?  
"Come on Ty. Tell me." He prodded.  
Aby scoffed. "Well first off my name is Abigayl." She said looking down at where their hands were joined together.  
Owen didn't let on that the information surprised him at all. "I knew who you were the second I saw you honey. You think Ronnie would let you come on this tour and not tell everyone who you are? He told us everything. But I figured you'd tell me when you were ready. I'd like to know your side of the story though."  
Abigayl felt her mouth hanging open. "You knew and you're still associating with me?"  
Owen just laughed. "Ronnie informed us that there was no reason for any of us to be rude to you. And I hadn't planned on it anyway. So yes, I'm associating with you."  
"Owen will you do me a huge favor?"  
He lifted a brow at her. "Depends on what it is."  
"Will you talk to Jacky for me? I don't expect anything from him, I just want to explain what happened to him. In return I'll tell you first and you can decide whether or not it's worth telling him." She said quickly.  
"Honestly Abigayl- No. I like Ty better. He may not even talk to me. Jacky and I haven't really spoken much either, but I'll try. Now tell me what happened."

Abigayl's stomach was full of butterflies as she sat with Owen in the restaurant part of the venue. Owen had talked to Jacky just before the band went to soundcheck. J had agreed he would meet with her when they were done though he obviously didn't want to. Would he be the one that was angry? Or would he act like Ronnie had? The yelling she could have dealt with. The quiet reserve that told her exactly how done with her he was had been too much. It meant they were done and there's nothing she could do about it.  
Jacky looked just as nervous as she felt when he sat down across from her. "Sorry, I don't have a lot of time so we gotta make this quick. So tell me Aby. What happened after you left Lucian's party?"  
"I went over to Becca's. My intention was to talk to her about the baby and make sure things between us were okay since we hadn't been talking that whole week then I was going to come home. But things got pretty heated and I thought I felt sick because of fighting with her. Jacky you were there when Ronnie and I talked about trying for another baby."  
Jacky nodded. "Yeah, you both decided it was way too soon but he was a little more adamant about it then you were."  
"I was terrified." She started again. "I know now how stupid I was but at the time I honestly thought he was going to be pissed if he found out I was pregnant again."  
"Is that why you ran to Dallas?"  
"Part of it. But most of the reason was because I remembered what our house was like when Mycah was born. I know how much that killed both of you and I couldn't put you guys through that again. I figured it would be better to lose me than another child. You had each other. I thought you'd be okay. But I didn't go straight to Dallas. Asking was overseas at the time. I went to Utah."  
As that sunk in Jacky narrowed those blue eyes on her. "You went to Alex? Of all people?"  
"He's a good friend Jacky. That's it. I stayed with him for awhile. I thought that would be the last place you guys would look for me. I was doing okay. I had a good doctor there too. I did everything he told me to do but it wasn't enough..." She said having to stop as her memories choked her.  
"The baby....?" He asked quietly.  
Abigayl shook her head. "Almost three months old...anyway, after that I kind of just gave up. I wasn't eating, wasn't taking care of myself at all. I just didn't care anymore. One night I was sitting in the living room when Alex came home and told me we were going out. I didn't want to go but he wouldn't take no for an answer. We saw Breathe Carolina that night and that's when David asked me if I'd come with them. I've been with them since then. I stayed in Dallas for a bit between the tours. I thought I had saved you both from that heartache. I thought you and Ronnie would move on and eventually just forget about me."  
Jacky's expression was unreadable. "That obviously didn't work. You left and I wanted to find you. Ronnie didn't. He said if you wanted to come back then you would. He wasn't chasing you this time. So he and I started fighting about everything. Even on tour. About halfway through the last tour I met a girl named Chelsie. I moved in with her when the tour was over. She's nice. Kind of shy like I am. She's..."  
"Everything I'm not?" Abigayl asked, a bite to her voice.  
"What else was I supposed to do Aby? I wasn't going to stay in that house that was supposed to be ours while Ronnie paraded every whore he knew through that door. Then one stayed. Melody. I swear that should just be her stripper name. But she's got him and she makes him mean. Most of the time he doesn't want anything to do with the rest of us."  
They'd both moved on?  
"Does he love her?" She asked, even though she really didn't want the answer.  
He shook his head. "He says he does but no. He only keeps her around because she's like a dog. Always there and always willing. They're disgusting if you ask me. You'll understand when you see her. Think Liza only sluttier and brainless."  
Aby felt her insides being shredded. She could easily imagine someone like that clinging to Ronnie. And he'd use her because it made him feel like he was above hurting.  
"What about you J? Are you happy with this Chelsie girl?"  
He shrugged. "She's safe. Doesn't expect anything. I told her I wasn't ready to jump into a relationship. She's okay with that. She wasn't too happy that I was in a three way relationship. Especially with another guy. So I think she's hoping to 'fix' me. But for now we're just good friends. I don't know where it'll go from there."  
"Oh, well that's good I guess." She mused.  
"Owen? Can I talk to Abigayl alone for a minute?"  
Here it came, the giant fuck you she'd been waiting for.  
"Of course. Aby I'll meet you back downstairs." He said getting up from the little table and squeezing her shoulder before leaving.  
Abigayl turned back to Jacky who was staring at his hands on the table.  
"Jacky?" She whispered, trying not to startle him.  
He let out a heavy breath and looked up at her. "Abigayl come with me." Was all he said as he stood up.  
Apparently she didn't really have a choice.  
Abigayl quickly got up to follow him down the stairs to the front entrance.  
"Jacks you can't go out there. There are fans wrapped around the block already." She said as the security guard just nodded to them.  
"I know, but we can't go out the back. I'd rather the fans see us than Ronnie see us. Come on."  
He grabbed her hand and pulled her out into the warm sun. She knew the drill. They kept their heads down as they walked past the long line of fans. Even when they started yelling out for him they just walked faster. Five blocks later he pulled her into an empty lot between to brick buildings. It had been turned into a nice little place with trees and benches and grafitti art on the walls. Aby loved these kind of places in LA. 

 

He had never felt such a weird mix of emotions before in his life. Jacky tried his best to wrap his mind around what was going on but just couldn't comprehend all of it. On one hand he was angry at Abigayl for what she'd done to them. He'd lost the two people that meant the most to him. Her leaving had ripped his heart in two and having to leave Ronnie after fighting so much had stomped the halves into the dirt. Finding Chelsie had been a miracle really. She didn't expect him to be her boyfriend, only a friend. At least for now. And she'd given him a place to stay when he'd been desperate. Unfortunately Jacky knew sooner or later she would want something more. Chelsie was a sweet girl, she deserved someone good to care for her, and he wasn't it. No matter how far from them he was Ronnie and Abigayl had his heart. He couldn't be what Chelsie deserved. For now he didn't have a choice though.  
Abigayl kept quiet as he pulled her into an empty lot that reminded him of little gardens back home. They sat down on the side of a big stone water fountain.  
"Why are we out here J?" Aby asked, running her fingers through the clear water.  
"Because I needed to say something and I didn't want there to be a chance of someone overhearing. Aby, what you did...it was horrible at home. I mean like before we went to New Orleans horrible."  
"Jacky-"  
"Let me finish. When I moved out I hated you for that. For us fighting. I blamed you. And sitting right here I still want to hate you. But...I can't. As much damage as you've done I can't just forget about you. I thought I'd never forgive you but then the second I saw you this morning I realized that I already had. I knew there had to be a reason that you left. I'll admit in your situation, especially after seeing how angry Ronnie can get these last few months, I would probably have done the same thing. I wish you hadn't but I understand."  
Abigayl pulled her hand from the fountain letting water spill from fingers in tiny shiny droplets as they caught the sun's rays. "What are you saying J?"  
"I don't want us to be enemies. I don't know how you feel about me but I'm just saying I'm willing to at least try and work things out." He answered, searching her face for any sign that she still felt the same way.  
When she finally looked up at him there were tears in her eyes.  
"I love you Jacky. Nothings going to change that. But I think for your sake you should stay away from me. Ronnie's not going to take well to seeing you with me. I don't want to cause anymore problems between the two of you."  
"We'll figure something out. I don't care what he thinks right now. I can walk away right now and we'll never speak again. I can do that if you want me to." He said said, unable to read her expression.  
After a few moments she slowly leaned forward, just the slightest brush of her lips against his own, like she was unsure of how he would react. Before she could pull away Jacky wound his fingers through her hair as he kissed her. Aby sighed, opening up to him as she moved closer putting her arms around his neck. To the rest of the world he imagined they looked like a perfect couple, so in love they couldn't keep their hands off each other.  
When they finally broke apart Abigayl leaned her forehead against his and closed her eyes.  
"I'm so sorry Jacky..." She whispered almost inaudibly.  
"I know love. I know. It'll be alright." He said, brushing a tear from her cheek.  
"I don't want to go back. I don't want to leave you."  
He didn't want to leave her either.  
"Then don't. Let's walk into that building together. Fuck what anyone else thinks."  
Abigayl lifted her head, a small smile curving her lips.  
"I'd like that."  
"Me too. Come on. Let's go make the big bad wolf howl." He teased pulling her up from the fountain. 

As they neared the back door of the venue Jacky was amazed to find he honestly was happy. He would never forget what she'd done but he could forgive. He loved her too much not to but they were going to have to talk more about what happened whilst she was gone. Today though, he was just going to enjoy their little bit of time together.  
Abigayl gripped his hand tighter as they walked up the stairs to the dock and through the door. Luckily no one was in that back hallway at the moment. It wasn't until they passed the greenroom that someone caught them. At least it was only Ryan. He gave them both a confused look. "Um J, Chelsie is here. She's out front with Max."  
Jacky's heart sunk. He didn't want to hurt her.  
"Alright. Thanks Ryan." He answered, pulling Aby along behind him.  
"Hey Aby?" Ryan said as they passed him.  
She paused. "Yeah Ry?"  
"Don't take it for granted." He replied seriously.  
What was he talking about?  
Abigayl nodded. "I don't plan to. Thank you."  
Ryan smiled and went back into the greenroom. Becca would be there soon with him. Being eight months pregnant she wasn't traveling with them anymore so DJ was driving her to the show tonight.  
In the main room he found Chelsie standing by the front of the stage with Max. They were both laughing. He'd never seen her laugh like that before. The way Max was looking at her was new too. But when his eyes landed on them the laughing died out.  
"What the hell are you doing Jacky?"  
Abigayl had let go of his hand as they'd entered the room and probably that was a good idea. Chelsie cocked her head at him, light blond hair falling into her dark golden eyes. That was one thing he'd liked about her. She looked nothing like Aby. Her hair was short but definitely feminine, whereas Abigayl's was long and bleached white again. She was taller too, more his height. Aby was fairly short. Chelsie was more conservative too. She wore tennis shoes, light wash jeans and one of his band shirts. None of it designer or fancy. Abigayl was typical flamboyant wearing high waisted black shorts, an Eiffel tower adorned sweatshirt that showed off some skin in the front but was long in the back, and black high heeled ankle boots. The contrast between the two women was almost laughable.  
With a smile Chelsie hugged him and stayed by his side, her hand in his. Jacky saw the disappointment on Abigayl's face as she realized who Chelsie was.  
"It's okay Maxy. Don't worry." Chelsie said, giving Max's arm a squeeze.  
He didn't look so convinced but left the three of them alone anyway. Once he was gone Chelsie turned to Aby. "You must be Abigayl. Jacky told me about you." She said, offering her hand.  
Aby hesitated before taking her offer. "I am. And you must be Chelsie. It's nice to meet you."  
Chelsie shook her head. "You and I both know that's not true. But I appreciate you being polite. Jacky? I'm going to head home. Whatever you decide to do I'll be there for you, you know that." She said with a smile before kissing his cheek and turning to walk away.  
"Wait! Chelsie wait a second." He said grabbing her hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen."  
She smiled. "I know, but you wanted it to. I knew you weren't mine Jacky. I'm glad we met though. I um, I kind of met someone special because of you."  
"Max?"  
Chelsie blushed and looked away from him.  
"He's a good guy Chels. He has his problems just like anyone else but if you like him then you have my support."  
Her eyes brightened then and that made Jacky feel infinitely better too.  
"Thank you. I think...I think I'm going to go talk to him before I leave." She said, heading off in the opposite direction.  
Abigayl looked confused as hell.  
"What's with the face?" He asked, pulling her closer by her belt loops.  
"You weren't kidding. She is like my polar opposite. That's a special women right there though J. I can tell." "She is. I hope you don't mind if I stay in contact with her."  
Aby scoffed. "I think she'll be around. Did you see the way Max and her were looking at one another?"  
"She's going to talk to him now."  
"Look at you playing match maker!" She teased as her phone went off. "Just an alarm. Doors are opening soon. I need to go. I'll catch you sometime before bus call."  
Jacky nodded. "I'll make sure you do." He said, leaning down to kiss her.  
Aby was all smiles as she scampered off towards the doors to the lobby and so was he. The taste of that kiss lingered on his lips. He'd savor that feeling until they could be alone again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.2

October 4th  
Los Angeles, California

Home.   
It's supposed to be a place where you feel safe, surrounded by the ones you love and care about.   
Which explained why this didn't feel like home anymore.  
The three people he cared about most had left and there was no way to replace the empty feeling in the house or inside himself.   
Ronnie shook himself out of a daze as Melody walked into the kitchen like she owned the damn place. Ironic since the only reason she was even there is because he was so fucked up he'd take any attention he could get.   
"Where are you going?" He asked as she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.   
"Out. It's fairly obvious you're not coming to bed so I'm going to find someone else's to share." She answered, her overly bleached hair falling over her shoulder.   
Sad, she didn't even try to hide the fact that she cheated on him anymore. Even more sad that he didn't care.  
"Make sure to name drop." He said sardonically.   
Melody batted her heavily coated eyelashes at him. "Oh don't worry baby, I never forget. I love the look of shock on their face when they realize who's girl they're with."  
That made his stomach turn. "You're NOT my girl."  
"They don't have to know that. You ever think about how truly fucked up our relationship is?"   
Ronnie scoffed at that. "Which part? The fact that the only thing we derive pleasure from is trying to hurt each other or that neither of us care enough about one another to feel hurt?"   
"Match made in heaven huh?" She said sarcastically heading out of the kitchen, but then she stopped, turning back to him. "Ronnie? Did it hurt when you saw her at the venue today?"  
"Why do you care?"  
She just shrugged. "Morbid curiosity."  
"Yeah, it did. Especially when I saw her with Jacky. It was like someone was ripping my heart from my chest." He admitted staring into a cup of cocoa. White chocolate. Jacky's favorite.  
"I loved someone like that once."   
"Like what?" Ronnie asked, finding he was genuinely curious. They'd been together for a little more than four months and this was the first piece of personal information she had divulged at all.   
"Like you love Abigayl and Jacky. Completely with everything you have. His name was Adam. We were engaged before he was deported. He was killed when a bomber hit his camp in Afghanistan. I haven't felt anything since then. I've tried. Even with you. I just can't."  
Ronnie honestly felt sorry for her. He couldn't imagine finding out something had happened to Jacky or Aby.   
"Mel? For what it's worth, I am sorry. No one deserves for that to happen. Why are you telling me all this though?"  
"Because the people you love are still here Ronnie. Bad things may have happened but you shouldn't let it break you. Don't end up like me." She finished , leaving the room before he could comment.  
That blindsided him, but maybe she had a point. This whole forgiveness thing was not his strong suit though. Ronnie was curious though to know what Aby had told Jacky to make him forgive her. Wondered how much of it was truth too.   
"The little trollop leave?"   
Ronnie couldn't help to smile as Rosa walked into the kitchen.   
"Yeah she's gone for the night." He replied.   
"The night? It's three in the morning. Most of the night is gone. Just lock the door and don't let her back in this time. Please?" She said, leaning on the bar across from him.   
"Maybe. Why are you still awake?"  
"Just wanted to check on you. I know Aby was at the venue today and..."  
"I'll be okay." He said, though who he was trying to convince he wasn't sure. "I'm gonna try to get some sleep. You should too."  
Rosa smiled and patted his arm. "I hope you feel better in the morning."  
Ronnie offered her a smile he didn't feel and headed for the back stairs. Upstairs he pulled a shirt from the closet. It was one of his but Jacky had worn it most of the time. It still smelled like him. He just wanted to actually sleep tonight. Pulling the shirt over his head he laid down and closed his eyes. Thinking back on the last time he and J had actually spent any time together without fighting. The day of Lucian's party. He held on to that memory until he slid into dreams.

Jacky: Gonna be a little later getting to the venue. Taking some me time while we're in town. 

Which meant him and Aby were spending the day together away from prying eyes. What he wouldn't give to be with them.   
Putting his phone is his pocket, Ronnie watched Charlie and Cloud run around the backyard. Jacky's new girlfriend was allergic to cats so he'd asked if Cloud could stay and of course he hadn't been able to say no. Besides, he really didn't hate the little fleaball that much. That and keeping Cloud gave him hope that maybe Jacky would come back. False hope, but hope nonetheless.   
"Charlie! Come on, back inside." He yelled, holding the door to the kitchen open.   
Charlie and Cloud ran past him in a blur and disappeared into the house. Checking the clock he noted he had about four hours before he needed to head to the venue. Shower. He wanted a shower.   
As the water ran cool it seemed to help clear his head and drain away some of the anxiety that had been threatening to choke him the last few days. Ronnie was surprised to feel almost relaxed as he walked back into the bedroom, running a towel over his hair. Unfortunately that moment of peace was ruined when he saw Jacky sitting on the edge of his bed. What the fuck was he doing here?  
"Jacky, dude you scared the hell outta me. What are you doing here?"   
Jacky rubbed his hands together as he stood up, like he was nervous. "I wanted to tell you first before anyone else could."  
That didn't sound good.   
"Okay, so spit it out."   
Ronnie felt a cold chill go down his spine when those blue eyes met his gaze.   
"At the end of this tour I'm moving. I'm taking Abigayl and we're moving to Dallas. I can still work from there. I've already talked to Troy and he's talking to management..." He said looking down at the ground.   
"Okay...that's not all is it?"  
J shook his head. "Aby and I are thinking about making things official. There's no reason why we shouldn't. Then I can hopefully get off my work visa and move on. Neither of us will be around to make you miserable anymore."   
Ronnie felt like a bomb had just gone off in his skull. Honestly he thought a blackout was the next step. Before he had a chance to hit the floor he sat down on the bench at the end of the bed. They were going to leave for good? Jacky was that desperate to be away from him?   
"Okay."  
Jacky narrowed his eyes at him. "Okay? What the fuck man? I'm taking your girl, moving out of the state and leaving your damn band and okay is all you have to say?"  
"What the hell am I supposed to say?" He countered as a rush of anger went through him.   
"I don't know. Maybe that you don't want me to leave. That you cared about us at all. Anything. Is that it? Do you just truly not care anymore? It must be awesome to be able to turn your affection on and off like that. Or did you ever give a fuck at all-"  
One second he sat there while J yelled at him and the next Ronnie had him pinned on the floor. Jacky melted into him as their lips met driven by the force of too many nights apart. Jacky's rough fingers bit into his back as he held on to him. Ronnie moved his hand from his chest up his throat to trace his jaw with his fingertips before tangling them in his hair just to pull him that much closer.   
They broke apart only because of the necessity to breathe. J's eyes were shiny like he was holding back tears and he turned his head away.   
"Don't do that. Tell me." He said quietly.  
"I don't want to leave. I hate this. No matter what I do I won't be happy. I need Aby, I love her, but I need you too. I don't want to fight with you anymore but I can't have you both and I don't know what to do." Jacky blurted out so fast Ronnie barely kept up.   
"I can't just forgive her Jacks. I don't know why she left us. And the amount of pain she caused...I don't know if I ever can for that. Maybe if I knew why she left. Did she tell you?"  
"She did, but I cant tell you." He said nervously.  
"Why the hell not?"  
"Because I don't want you coming back to us out of guilt."  
Guilt? Why would he feel guilty? He hadn't done anything.  
"Jacky I deserve to know what happened. You know that. Remember how you felt when you thought she'd run off for no reason? That's how I feel right now. Please tell me."  
"A baby." Jacky said quietly. "She found out she was pregnant again."  
Oh shit. Ronnie could clearly remember the last time he'd talked to Abigayl about trying for another baby. She had wanted to wait a bit, he had wanted to wait longer.  
"What happened?"  
"She got scared. She didn't want you to find out and be angry with her. We've seen you get out of control mad before. I can understand why she would not want to face you. Aby was staying in Utah, with Alex. She had a doctor and everything but maybe we just weren't meant to have a kid."  
Ronnie sat back from him agaisnt the edge of the bed and let that all sink in. For the first time he was happy for Alex to have been there. At least she hadn't been alone. But she should have been with them. They could have got through it together. No way in hell would he have been mad at her. He was more angry that he hadn't been there for her.  
"I think the three of us need to sit down and talk."  
Jacky shook his head. "Give me a few days. She didn't want me to tell you Ronnie. Feeling sorry for her isn't how I want you to come back to us. Thing is, she still left. Despite the reason. Think on it for a couple days. Make sure your hearts in it."  
"Trust me Jacky. It is. Knowing she left because of me stings like hell though. I wouldn't have been angry if she had just told me instead of leaving. We would have handled it."   
"She knows that. But she realized it too late and was already gone."  
Ronnie just nodded. He understood. It's hard to back out of something once you made the decision. Especially something like that.   
"Okay, talk to her."   
"Will do." Jacky said as he stood up and offered him a hand. "I'm gonna go. Hopefully this will work out."   
"I've got my fingers crossed." He teased.   
Jacky just rolled his eyes and turned to leave.   
"J, wait." Before he could pull away Ronnie leaned down and kissed him again. Jacky opened for him and he just breathed him in. He needed this.   
"What was that for?" He asked when Ronnie reluctantly pulled back.   
"Just in case things don't work. I'll need something to hold on to."

Waiting a couple days was just not going to work for him. Ronnie more than trusted Jacky's judgement but he had to do something, had to get his foot in the door so to speak.  
They would be in Vegas tomorrow for a day off. He had something special planned for the show there when they came back for Halloween and he wanted Abigayl to be a part of it if she was willing. Despite the not so fond memories he had, Ronnie still considered Vegas to be his home and he wanted to give them something special. Though he didn't NEED Abigayl for the show to work he needed her there for himself. Her and Jacky.   
The back door opened letting the fresh smell of rain waft into the hallway as Abigayl hurried inside. He loved rain. "Coming down pretty good still?" He asked before he could stop himself.   
Aby looked up at him, a frown on her face. "Uh, yeah. It's not supposed to last very long though unfortunately. Well I guess fortunate for the fans waiting outside."  
"Not like when it rained in Chicago during Warped. Remember that?"   
She smiled a little then. "Ill always remember that day. Not very often a girl gets her sappy movie moment."  
It had been sappy. Aby had convinced him to go walk in the rain with her. They'd been drenched within minutes of stepping off the bus but watching her dance in the warm rain had been so worth it.   
"Hey Aby I-"  
She gave him an apologetic look as her phone went off. "Sorry, just a second."  
Maybe that was some kind of sign.   
"Owen?.... I'm kind of in the middle of something. What do you need?....Oh, yeah actually could you get me an extra?....Don't worry about it. Tomorrow's on me. Okay. Bye." She said, sliding the phone back into the pocket of her purple jeans. "Sorry, coffee run. What were you about to say?"   
Ronnie just shook his head. "Nothing important. Don't worry about it." He answered, offering her a smile before heading outside.   
He took a deep breath as the rain fell steadily around him but the calm was short lived as the door opened and Aby joined him under the small awning. She held her hand out letting rain drops bounce off her palm.   
"I think about that day every time it rains." She said quietly. "I guess things are just different now....Can I tell you a secret?"  
"Sure."  
"A small part of me thought if I came on this tour maybe a miracle would happen. I didn't expect it, but you can't blame me for hoping. I know that the situation I'm in now is no one's fault but mine and still I hoped that maybe things would work out. A fool's hope. I feel like a stranger standing beside you now."  
They were quiet then the only sound was the rain pelting the pavement. If Ronnie was honest a part of him had been hoping too. He'd thought maybe seeing her would help him get over what had happened. It hadn't. Even now, knowing what she went through he still felt betrayed. She shouldn't have had to go through it alone but that had been their child. He and Jacky had deserved to know what was going on. Knowing she'd kept that a secret from them stung. He loved her but wasn't sure how to move past that.   
"I honestly thought what I was doing was the right thing. I know it doesn't change anything, but just for the record. I didn't leave with the intention of hurting you." Aby said as a tear slid down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.   
"I believe you Aby."  
"Ronnie you know me." She said, turning to look up at him. "I don't beg. I've never begged for anything. But I'm willing to right now. I have to know, is there any outcome where you and I end up together? Do you ever see yourself with me again? Please, I just.... I need to know that I'm not wishing on a star that's already burnt out."   
He wanted to say yes. His heart wanted him to tell her they would end up together. But he couldn't. She had kept them in the dark about being pregnant and caused him and Jacky to go into all out war on one another. That combined with the fact that she had been so afraid of him that she'd been willing to run off didn't make things any better. They had to stop hurting each other. The cycle had to stop.  
"Abigayl...I'm sorry." He said brushing her hair behind her ear. Her eyes fell to the ground.   
"You don't mean-"  
"Yes. I do mean it. I love you. I always will, but you and I are toxic. I'm tired of hurting one another. Jacky told me you guys were thinking of getting married? I think that's the best route for both of you to take. Jacky leaving will hurt the band but we'll figure it out. You two will be better off away from me." He said honestly.   
"I think you're being asinine." Abigayl spat, that fire burning in her eyes. "But I guess if that's truly what you want then I won't push. I wish it didn't mean J left the band though. I didn't ask him to do that, just so you know. He said he couldn't handle being that close to you and not being with you. I understood that because I feel the same way. I'm sorry Ronnie. For what I did and what it caused. I truly am." She finished, turning back to the door and disappearing into the building.   
What the fuck had he just done?

 

"Wait. He said what?"  
Abigayl took a deep breath as Jacky leaned over the table, grabbing the clipboard from her hands.   
"He said there was no future for us. He's done J. He said us leaving would be best for us even if it means you leaving the band." She replied taking the board back.   
"I don't think we should make any permanent decisions until the end of tour. We'll be in Vegas for Halloween. I don't want to decide anything until then." He said quietly.  
"Why? How long do we let him jerk us around? After what happened with you two this morning?"   
Jacky let out a heavy breath, he was getting frustrated. "Abigayl do you really think this is what he wants? Come on. You know exactly what Ronnie's doing."   
"It's called a guilt trip. That's why I didn't want you to tell him." She answered, leaning on the table. "I knew he'd feel guilty about why I left and either push us away or try to make up for it. I'm not scared of him J. Even after he- what happened to my wrist, I wasn't scared of him. Most of the reason I left was because I didn't want you two to have to go through what you did when Mycah was born again. I thought I could save you both from that, but I only made it worse. I told you that was the main reason I left. Not because of Ronnie. And now he's feeling guilty." Abigayl stopped as she finally got what Jacky was saying. "He's trying to protect us just like I tried to protect the two of you... You're right Jacky. We should give him some time but he needs the rest of that story, not just what you told him. That's where you went wrong. He's very protective of his family. He'll understand this."  
Jacky nodded. "I should have thought it through before I just blurted that out I guess. I'm gonna go find him. I'll see you after the set?"   
"Of course." She replied, giving him a quick kiss. 

"That was fucking intense. What did they all do? Wait until after the show? Seriously."  
Abigayl took a deep breath as she hefted the last case into the trailer. Owen was right. It was like every kid at the show decided to wait until the end to buy anything and it had been one hell of a rush. Jacky had actually come back in and helped her a bit which was funny considering he should have been helping sell his own band's merch instead.   
"At least it's over. And we've still got a few hours before bus call." She answered, sitting on the trailer ramp.   
"Speaking of buses." Jacky said with a cute little smile. "I'm gonna stay with you tonight."   
Abigayl couldn't help but smile. "Then my night just got a whole lot better. But first I'm gonna go back in and take a shower."   
"I'll come with you. Showers are down in the basement. You don't need to be down there alone."  
Aby just rolled her eyes.   
Jacky took her hand as they walked into the venue. Unfortunately they did so just as Ronnie and Melody were coming outside.   
"Hey, come on babe. I want to get home." Melody said as Ronnie looked back at them.  
"Yeah, I'm coming." He replied.   
Abigayl felt a hand squeeze her heart and knew Jacky was feeling it too as he pulled her towards the stairs faster.   
"I really hate that woman." Jacky said once they reached the showers.   
Abigayl nodded and offered him a smile. "I'm not fond of her either. I've never met anyone so fake. And she's draining him. You can tell Ronnie doesn't give a fuck about her."   
"Told you." He answered, pulling his shirt off. "Come on, I just want to forget about them."   
Abigayl was happy to oblige as she wrapped her arms around his neck and gently kissed him. She was so thankful he'd decided to stay with her tonight. 

Abigayl let our a sigh of contentment as she pulled the heavy blanket up around herself. She smiled feeling Jacky's strong heartbeat against her cheek.   
"So does the band have anything planned for Halloween this year?" She asked as he switched the bunk light off.   
"Nope. We're all doing our own thing. Not gonna lie I spent way too much money on mine this year but this is a big show."  
Aby couldn't help but laugh. "I take it you're finally going to be Cloud?"   
"Damn straight! I'm excited. What are you going to be?"  
"I brought two costumes. Harley Quinn or Rikku. Haven't deci-"  
"Rikku!" Jacky blurted out. "You gotta be Rikku. It would be awesome. And hot as hell."   
Abigayl laughed. "Alright for you I'll be Rikku. I am beyond excited for that show. It's gonna be huge adding in Black Veil Brides and Asking."   
"That's why we're doing it outside. The show sold out in just a couple days. And each band is planning something special. Event of the year. Abigayl I don't want that to be my last show with this band..." He said quietly.   
"I don't either J. I really don't. We've got almost a month to make sure it isn't." She said, leaning up to kiss him then settling back down beside him. That was the truth. She didn't want Jacky to leave Falling in Reverse, but it was his choice in the end. Was being in the band worth it to him if it hurt him so much?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2.3

Las Vegas, Nevada   
October 30th

Being back in Vegas always felt like coming home. True, Abigayl had never lived here but that didn't change how she felt about it.   
Aby leaned back against the headboard of the giant bed in the penthouse suit she was sharing with the boys. Why they needed this she wasn't sure. Every other hotel they'd stayed in on tour had been just a place to sleep but not in Vegas. Only the Bellagio would do. Jacky said Falling in Reverse was in the Nobu Villa at Caesars Palace so apparently it wasn't just Breathe Carolina who was going big.   
As her phone beeped Aby grabbed it, opening a text from David. 

David: Hey Ty sent u somethin to the room. Enjoy ur day off. I'll text u when we head back tonight. 

Why the hell would he be sending her something?   
This was supposed to be her quiet day to recoup and decide what she was going to do about her and Jacky's situation. But she was welcome to a distraction. She wasn't any closer to a decision and right now she didn't want to think about it.   
Before she could delve deeper into that rabbit hole the buzzer rang out through the penthouse announcing whatever present David had sent for her. Scooting off the bed she padded across the plush dark red carpet to the door, long flowy white skirt swishing against her ankles. She'd woke up this morning feeling bound, her heart heavy. So she'd pulled out a long bohemian skirt and a thin light pink tank top, braided her long hair and thrown on a bunch of bangles. Over the years Abigayl had learnt she didn't really have a style. She wore whatever fit with the emotions she was feeling and today she had needed to feel free.  
Abigayl smiled as she opened the door and a staff member pushed a cart into the room. Everything was covered so she still couldn't tell what David had sent her.  
"Miss Tylers?" The man asked, pulling a black cloth from the cart.  
"That's me."  
"I have been given special instruction that you are to be blindfolded before given your surprise. Are you okay with that?"  
Abigayl nodded, hoping she wasn't falling into some kind of prank as he tied the black cloth around her eyes and led her to sit on one of the overstuffed couches. Once she was seated she felt him walk away then heard the clinking of silver as the dishes were uncovered. Everything was quiet for a few moments before someone knelt down in front of her.   
The all too familiar scent of mint infiltrated her senses and tears built up behind her eyes. This had to be a dream. She must have fallen asleep in the bedroom and now her mind was playing the cruelest of tricks on her. She knew it wasn't, that it couldn't be real but as rough fingers slid up her throat to trace along her jaw Aby gave in completely. As his lips brushed against her own she opened for him knowing only in her dreams would she ever taste his kiss again.   
Abigayl breathed in the scent of dark spice as she let her hands wander up Ronnie's arms and on to his strong shoulders to wrap around his neck.   
"I love you." She whispered in the safety of this dreamland.   
"Then forgive me." He answered quietly as the tie was loosened on her blindfold.   
Not wanting to lose this moment, Aby kept her eyes shut tight. She didn't want to wake up. Not yet. This was the conversation they would never have in real life. But here in her mind she could replay it over and over again.   
"There's nothing to forgive you for. You didn't do anything wrong. This was all my fault." She replied quickly.   
"You left, that's on you, but keeping us apart now is on me. I want us back together. You, me, and Jacky. I need you. Both of you."  
Abigayl felt tears slip from her eyes as she squeezed them shut as tight as she could.   
Do not wake up.   
Do not wake up.   
"Aby what are you doing? Open your eyes sweetie."  
She shook her head, running her fingers along the collar of his shirt. God this felt so real.   
"I can't. If I wake up you'll be gone." She whispered.   
Abigayl turned into his palm as Ronnie laid his hand against her cheek. The warmth of his skin sinking into her heart.   
"Sweetheart you're not dreaming." He said and she could hear the smile in his voice. "Just open your eyes."   
Could that be true?   
Slowly, very slowly, Abigayl opened her eyes and Ronnie smiled at her. Taking a deep breath she threw herself against him, hugging him as close as she could.   
Ronnie just laughed as he caught himself from falling backwards.   
"But I don't understand. Why are you here? Why now?"  
"Because it finally hit me yesterday that after the show tomorrow you and Jacky are leaving. Like for good leaving and I realized I couldn't let that happen. As long as you both were here I could pretend I didn't need you, but reality hit me and I am an idiot for ever believing that. I'm done pretending." He answered.   
Abigayl breathed a sigh of relief as he sat her back on the couch. Those big brown eyes watched her curiously as she ran her fingers through the ends of his hair then up the side of his neck. He just smiled as she ran her thumb over his lips. She was still in disbelief that he was really here.   
"Does Jacky know you're here?"  
Ronnie shook his head. "No. I figured convincing you to take me back would be harder than it would Jacky so that's my next stop. I'd like to spend some time with you first though if that's okay?"   
Abigayl laughed. "Of course that's okay. I just, this is unreal."   
"Trust me I know how you feel. I'm just happy you didn't kick my ass out. Oh, while I'm down here..."  
Aby watched as he dug something out of the pocket of his jeans then held up her pink wedding ring. She and Jacky had left their rings along with a note on Ronnie's bed the night he'd told her they didn't have a future together. Aby had needed finality and that gesture had been enough. But now she wanted that ring back on her finger more than anything.   
"So Aby will you fake marry me again? Please?"   
Abigayl's breath caught in her throat. She knew the answer but the tears in her eyes kept her vocal chords from working.   
Ronnie cocked his head at her. "Aby I'm not getting any younger here. Could you answer before my knees start screaming maybe?"   
Abigayl just laughed and took the little ring from him, sliding it onto her left hand. "Of course my answer is yes."   
As he smiled up at her Aby leaned down to lightly kiss him.   
"So what is all that about?" She asked sweeping her hand towards the cart.   
"Thought you might be hungry. Plus champagne to celebrate." He said pulling her to her feet.   
"Can you drink that?"   
"Moderately. A glass won't kill me. I never really had a problem with alcohol. It was what I did while I was drinking." He answered, unwrapping the top of the bottle.   
Aby plucked a strawberry from one of the dishes and put it in her mouth. The years they'd been together ran through her head. They'd never really talked about his addiction problems. Sure, she had asked but he wasn't very indulgent and she didn't want to push.   
Picking up a little silver bowl she filled it with different fruit and grabbed the two champagne flutes before heading back in to the bedroom.   
"Where are you going?"  
"Don't be so curious all the time." She teased, remembering back to when he'd said the exact same words to her. 

Abigayl was laughing so hard her stomach hurt as she fell on to her back next to Ronnie on the big bed. They'd spent the last few hours talking about all that happened during the months they were apart, both good and bad. A lot of air had been cleared too.  
"I'm serious! I was so pissed I missed the step completely and fell out of the bus in front of a bunch of fans. It was horrible, and J saw the whole thing." Ronnie admitted even as she laughed her ass off.  
"Haven't you learned yet that your anger only gets you hurt? Karma bites you in the ass every time." She said, rolling over to lay her head on his shoulder.   
"Yeah, yeah I'll listen someday. Hey do you have any plans for the rest of the night?"  
"Nope. This was my rest day. Why?"  
"Thought maybe you could come with me to talk to Jacky? He should still be at the hotel." He answered as he nuzzled into her hair.   
"Hmm I'll go with you but I'm taking food with me. And maybe the rest of that champagne."  
She felt Ronnie laugh under her ear. "Don't you ever stop eating? Fine it's a deal. Come on we can walk down there and I'll tell you about the show tomorrow?"   
"Yes!" Aby answered climbing off the bed. "I've been trying to get answers out of David and Tommy but they won't tell me anything about the show. Get up let's go!" 

 

He was in love with such a freak. Ronnie thought as they walked hand in hand down the Vegas Strip. Abigayl was humming to herself and looking around like she'd never been there before but he couldn't help but watch her.   
"So tell me about the show tomorrow." She asked as they walked past the Bellagio fountain. The spray felt nice even in October. Man he loved Vegas.   
"I don't want to spoil any surprises for you." He answered, holding his hand out towards the water.   
"Then don't, but tell me about the costumes. Are you guys gonna do some kind of theme?"  
Ronnie shook his head. "Nope. Not this year. We're all doing our own thing. Jacky's going to finally get to be Cloud. I had Max tell him about a designer in town that could make the costume. She's a good friend, I just didn't want J to know I had anything to do with it. I don't know what the others are doing. I figured I could just go as a rock star. It could be believable. What do you think?"  
Abigayl just rolled her eyes. "I don't think anyone is going to believe that. Come on, what are you doing? You tell me, I'll tell you."  
"That was hateful. Max's new girlfriend talked me into being a fallen angel. Sounds cheesy but it's pretty cool to be honest. What are you going to be?"  
"Well that is the only kind of angel you'll ever be." She said with a smirk. "I have two options. Either Harley Quinn or Rikku."  
Ronnie racked his brain to think what that second one was. He had a faint memory of some blond chick on one of Jacky's video games. J would probably like it if she picked that one.  
"I don't remember her except that she's from Final Fantasy? I'd go with that one. Jacky would like it I'm sure." He replied, nudging her shoulder.  
"I think you will too."  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
Abigayl gave him a flirty smile as she hurried on ahead of him.  
"Oh no you don't. Get back here and tell me more, anime girl!"

"Ronnie stop. Stop. Do you hear that?" Abigayl asked just before he opened the door into their suite.  
At first he thought she was being crazy, then he heard raised voices coming from inside. Neither of them were loud enough for him to tell who the voices belonged to.  
"Probably Ryan and Max. They argue all the time about stupid shit. Come on." He replied, taking her hand and pulling her through the door.  
They walked into the main room just in time to see Jacky swing and Ryan stumble backward, the impact from his fist snapping Ryan's head to the side. Before J could hit him again Ronnie grabbed him around the waist and yanked him back. Jacky strugged and fought him all the way into the next room. He loosened his grip just long enough to get a better hold and Jacky took the opportunity to turn and swing at him. Ronnie moved back just in time and managed to get an arm through his, spinning Jacky away from him and grabbing his other wrist behind his back before pushing him against the wall. Putting his other hand at the base of his neck Ronnie held him still, feeling his pusle racing. What the fuck had just happened?  
Realizing he couldn't get away he felt Jacky take a deep breath and he rested his forehead against the wall. "What is your problem J? You've been picking fights and snapping at everyone. That's not you."   
When Jacky started struggling against his hold again he wrapped his hand around the front of his throat, pushing his head back until J was too off balance to fight.   
"Jacks stop..." He said, keeping his voice steady as he ran his fingers along Jacky's jawline.   
The minutes ticked by as Jacky's breathing leveled out, his heartbeat slowing but Ronnie wasn't going to take any bets. He didn't need another black eye.   
"I can't do this." Jacky whispered barely loud enough for him to hear.   
When he finally released his arms Jacky turned towards him but as the adrenaline faded he sank down on to his knees.   
"Hey." He said, getting J's attention as he sat down with him. "Talk to me. What's going on? Why did you attack Ryan? It's not like you to start shit with everyone else."   
Jacky took a deep breath and reached for his hand.   
Ronnie sighed and took his hand, brushing his thumb over his wrist. This was Jacky. He didn't pick fights with his friends for no reason. He was scared and Ronnie wasn't sure why, but the fear was right there in those bright blue eyes.   
"Alright. Come with me. Come on." He said, standing up and pulling Jacky up with him. He frowned but followed him back into his bedroom.   
As soon as the door was shut behind them, Jacky sat up on the big bed and pulled his knees up to his chest.  
"Why'd you hit Ryan?" Ronnie asked when it became apparent that he wasn't going to start talking.  
"Because he'd been picking at me all day. I got mad and said something about he's only being a dick because Becca isn't here to stop him, and he said at least he had a family to tell him when he was being one. I just flew off the handle. But he's right. I don't have a family anymore. Not here. Even the band doesn't feel like home anymore. When I'm with Abigayl I miss you, and when I'm with you I miss her. I can't win, and I can't take the stress anymore. I'm becoming a person I hate....I booked a flight for first thing in the morning after the show. I'm going back to England. I guess that's where my only home is now."  
"What if you could have both of us again? Would you stay here?" He asked, sitting on the edge of the bed farthest from him trying to pretend his anxiety wasn't licking the ceiling at the thought of Jacky leaving the country again.  
Jacky frowned then just shook his head. "What's it matter? You're never going to get over yourself enought to let that happen. I'm leaving. That's that."  
Okay that stung a bit, but he was right. Ronnie had always been good at holding a grudge.  
"You're right J. That's that. Just stay here a second okay? I'll be right back. There's just a couple things I want to say if you're going to be leaving."  
Before Jacky could protest he quickly left the room and headed to find Abigayl. She was sitting with Ryan who looked like he'd seen a ghost.  
"Is Jacky okay?" Ryan asked as he joined them.  
"Not really. Abigayl will you please go try and talk to him? I was wrong, you were the easy one to convince. J's not buying it. He's got a flight back to England day after tomorrow."  
"What?!" Ryan exclaimed even as Aby stayed quiet but Ronnie could see the muscle in her jaw work. She was thinking.  
"I'll go talk to him." She finally said before leaving the room.  
"Ryan why-"  
"I am so sorry. What I said to him....Fuck. I gotta go talk to him."  
"No, wait." Ronnie said, putting a hand on his friend's arm. "Aby needs to talk to him more right now. Yeah, what you said was bad but it wasn't what got him in a rage like that. I guarantee he apologizes to you first."  
Ryan sat with the heels of his hands pressed agaisnt his brows like his head hurt. "Why is Abigayl with you? She just here to see J?"  
"No, she actually spent the morning with me." He answered nonchalantly.  
"So you begged her to take you back then?"  
Ronnie could hear the smirk in his voice. "Shut up Ryan, but yes."

It was almost an hour later when Abigayl came back into the living room. Jacky walked in behind her, fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt.  
Aby offered him a smile and patted his shoulder as she passed him to sit in one of the big chairs.  
Jacky didn't move. He just stood there with his eyes on the cream colored carpet. As the four of them were caught in that suspended moment of silence, Ronnie took the time to study Jacky's face. The last few months had changed him and definitely not in a good way. His whole persona seemed darker. The quiet peacekeeper shell had been chipped away and embeded with an anger and meaness that never should have become part of him. And he looked tired, just drained, all the time. He hadn't deserved any of the shit they'd put him through. Enough was enough.  
Ronnie could feel Abigayl's questioning gaze as he got up and went to stand in front of Jacky. Those blue eyes he loved so much finally looked up at him and his heart broke. It was as if all the innocence had been sucked out of them and in a way he guessed it had.  
"Jacky I-"  
"Ryan I'm sorry for what I said." Jacky said, looking past him, his voice devoid of emotion.  
"The feeling is mutual J."  
Jacky didn't reply, just focused on him again. Neither of them spoke, the silence stretching into eternity.  
"I don't want to hate you." Jacky said finally.  
"Then what do you want to do?"  
Jacky didn't answer, just leaned up and lightly kissed him. The action surprised him but as the taste of green apples invaded his head Ronnie wasn't about to complain. He'd missed him so much. Putting his hands on either side of his face, brushing his thumbs along his jawline, he pulled him closer. He didn't even care that Ryan was there watching them.  
"I just want you. I want my family back." J whispered against his lips.  
"We're here. I promise. You just have to give us another chance." He answered. "Do you want to go somewhere, get out of here? Just the three of us?"  
Jacky shook his head. "Could we just stay here instead? The people coming and going here are my family too. I need all of them right now."  
That admission told him everything he needed to know.  
"Looks like we're staying in tonight." He said to Abigayl as he wrapped his arms around Jacky.  
She smiled. "I'm gonna go down to the bus and grab a few things then. You want everyone here J?"  
Ronnie felt Jacky nod agaisnt his chest.

Abigayl had sent out a group message inviting everyone back to the hotel for the evening and surprisingly enough even though they were in Vegas most of them were more than willing to come back. The boys from Breathe Carolina were doing their set at Tao so they wouldn't be there but all of Asking and Black Veil showed up. DJ had shown up with Becca too. Dahlia had shown up as soon as she found out Luna was in town and announced that Krista was flying into Vegas the next morning for the show. Ashley got a text from Jeff saying he wished he could be there too but work keeping up Harlot's social appearences whilst Danny was with Asking. Even Chelsie had showed up for Max. Ronnie caught himself wishing that Chris and Veronica could be there too. Even if they did annoy the hell out of them. But it was nice to have so much family around. And Jacky was smiling for the first time in months.  
They spent the evening switching between movies like Batman, Iron Man, TMNT, and The Avengers. As it turned out, this was a way better way to spend time in Vegas than out at clubs. He looked over to where Abigayl was curled up next to Ashley on the floor and couldn't help but smile. This felt good, and with this kind of feeling in the air he knew that tomorrow's show was going to be one to remember.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 2.4

Las Vegas, Nevada   
October 31st

It was morning. Sunlight streamed in through the glass doors that lead out to the balcony keeping him warm. Jacky opened his eyes slowly looking out into the blue Vegas sky. For the first time in months the empty feeling in the pit of his stomach didn't consume him in those waking moments. Instead he felt..... happy. Content. Honestly it scared him to feel that way. It never seemed to last long.   
Pushing that thought aside he ran his hand over the tattooed hand that rested against his chest. Had he done the right thing deciding to stay with Abigayl and Ronnie? Guess he'd get that answer sooner or later.   
"You awake?" Ronnie mumbled into his hair.   
"Mhm." He answered, linking their fingers together. "Enjoying the sunshine."   
"It feels good."   
Jacky chuckled at that. "The sunshine or me?"   
"Both. I missed you."  
That made him pause. It wasn't very often that Ronnie would admit things like that. Jacky stayed quiet but squeezed his hand.   
"I'm not good at this. I'm not good at reminding you guys that I need you and I'm sorry for that. It's true though J. I love you and Aby so much it literally hurts when I think about you leaving. I thought that would go away the longer we were apart but it didn't."  
Jacky rolled on to his back so he could look up at him. "We know. You may not tell us but we know."   
"I'm never letting you go again. Ever." Ronnie replied kissing along his shoulder.   
He didn't respond, just savored the feel of soft lips against his skin.   
The sound of a phone going off rang through the room and gave them pause. Maybe they could just ignore it?   
Jacky couldn't help his sigh of disappointment as Ronnie leaned over to get his phone off the table.   
"Aby was apparently taking pictures of us this morning. Look."  
Curious he took the phone. Abigayl had posted a photo of the two of them from this morning. He'd had his arm around Ronnie, his forehead pressed against his back tangled in the silky white sheets. It actually wasn't a bad picture. The caption underneath read 'Happy to have our little spoon back'.   
"I agree with her." He teased, handing the phone back. "Any idea where she is? What time is it?"   
"Um a little after ten? No idea where she went but I know she's with Becca and Danny getting ready. What about you? Ready to get outta bed?"  
Jacky shook his head. "No, but I need a shower, so yes. Come with me?"   
Ronnie smiled and set his phone back on the table. "Happy Halloween to me!" 

"Why are you making that face? It's just hairspray."   
Jacky maturely stuck his tongue out at Ronnie who was laughing as Chelsie yanked on his hair. Dating a hairdresser had its perks. Chelsie had agreed to help them all get ready for the show tonight which made it a lot less time consuming.   
"It smells horrible. Put it in your hair."  
"He will." Chelsie said teasingly. "Close your eyes."   
Jacky did as he was told as she hit him with another cold spray. "What are you dressing as Chels?"   
"Max and I decided to go medieval. He just wants to be my knight I think. Elves all the way for me." She added with a smile. He remembered her saying something about going to some convention as an elf. Jacky didn't think he'd have had the guts to do it.   
"Alright. I think you're done. You guys gonna get dressed at the venue?"  
"Yeah, just before the show." Ronnie answered, looking up from his phone.   
"Perfect. Jacky's doesn't take much maintenance. I'll have to finish yours then. Let's see how much of a genius I am."   
Chelsie had put Ronnie's long hair into a few braids and flatironed them. She said it needed to look messy not straight like normal. As the two of them talked Jacky pulled his phone from his pocket. He had a text from a number he didn't recognize. 

Unknown: Hey baby. Guess where I am? I'm in line with a bunch of your fans waiting to get in for your show tonight!! Can't wait to finally see you play in person again. Love you. -Marissa 

"Uh, hey Ronnie?"  
"Yeah?" He answered while Chelsie ran her fingers through the now tosseled ends of his hair. Damn he looked good like that.   
Jacky cleared his throat trying to remember what he was asking. "My cousin is town. She's actually down in line right now for the show tonight. I was wondering if I could get her backstage tonight?"   
"Of course. We could go get her now? Maybe find Aby along the way. They're starting sound checks at one. So we'd be there just in time." He said glaring at Chelsie as she sprayed that godforsaken hairspray over his hair.   
"Great. I'll let her know."

Jacky: I can't believe you're here in Vegas! I'm going to come down and get you. 15 minutes. 

Marissa: Kk I'll be here. 

"What do you think J, did I make the bad boy into an angel?" Chelsie asked teasingly as Ronnie batted her hand away.   
"Nothing angelic about him!"   
"You guys suck. I'm a FALLEN angel. I'm not supposed to be good. Thank you Chels." Ronnie said sincerely and kissed her cheek.   
"Any time boys. I'll see you later."  
It didn't take them long to get the rest of their stuff together then they headed downstairs. The venue wasn't far so they decided to walk. It really was a beautiful day. The sky was bright, the sun adding just enough warmth to the city. Before they'd flown to Vegas Cameron had text him saying it had snowed a foot in New York already. While he loved snow, Jacky was just fine with it staying away for now. 

After stowing his bag in the underground part of the venue Jacky headed out through the front gate to where a line of fans was already wrapped around the corner. The venue they were playing was fairly new and one of the biggest outdoor stages he'd ever played that wasn't at a festival. Tonight was going to be huge! Some fans stopped him as he quickly walked down the line but most just waved. The more aggressive they became the more he wished Ronnie had come with him just to divert their attention.   
Marissa was easy enough to find, her long golden hair shimmering in the sunlight. She almost pulled off looking like a fan in black skinny jeans and one of his album t-shirts, but her platform boots weren't exactly fan-ish. The second she saw him she broke from the line and hugged him. The truth was Jacky had known Marissa for years but she wasn't actually his cousin. She was Nikolai's. He'd met her in school when they were both about twelve or so but they'd become so close that most people had assumed they were family and then he'd started dating Nikky so they eventually would have probably become family had he not moved to the states.   
While he was extremely happy to see her, Jacky felt guilt tearing through him as he hugged her back.   
"J, are you alright?" She asked as she pulled away from him. Fans were watching them now.   
"Not really. We need to talk, but not here."  
She seemed to understand and followed him back through the gate. 

This was going to be awkward. No matter how he played it.   
Taking a deep breath as he pushed open the door to their dressing room. It was vacant except for Chelsie and Ronnie.   
Jacky stopped dead in his tracks. Maybe he'd been wrong about the angelic thing. Ronnie smiled at him and waved since Chelsie was busy tying a thin silver halo into his hair. He had on worn blue jeans and a white t-shirt that had a dirty handprint on the neck that made it look like someone had grabbed it. There were two haphazard tears across the front and the bottom hem had been ripped a little. He looked like a little kid who'd got the crap knocked out of him by someone twice his size. But what really caught his attention were the wings at his back. They were a little taller than him made of leather and feathers all the same iridescent inky black. The wings must have been feather light too as they moved every time he did. Jacky felt like his heart had stopped.   
"What's with that look? I look that bad?" He asked, as Jacky just stood there with his mouth hanging open.   
Shaking his head he tried to get his brain to function again. "I um, no. It's...you. Fuck." He said, pressing his hand to his sternum. "Uh, Ronnie this is Marissa." Was all he could choke out.   
As they said hello and shook hands Jacky felt sick. He loved Marissa like a sister, always had, but one screw up later and he really wished she wasn't here.   
"So you're Jacky's cousin?" Ronnie asked as Chelsie went back to her task.   
Marissa gave him a sideways glance. She didn't know who Ronnie was. Jacky had never told her, simply because she wouldn't condone it. She hadn't been at all happy about him and Nikolai either. Unfortunately she also wouldn't understand how badly their mistake would hurt him.   
"Yeah, distant cousin." She said convincingly but Ronnie didn't seem to buy it. "And you are?"   
"I'm his b-"  
"He's the singer for the band I'm in." Jacky said quickly which earned him a hurt look that tore his insides to shreds.   
"Ah, well very nice to meet you." Marissa replied sweetly. "Jacky I'm going to go wait out by the stage if that's okay?"   
He nodded because that's all he could do. 

 

What the hell was going on?   
Leaving Jacky to find his cousin, Ronnie headed up to the stage where he could hear Danny. He'd know those screams anywhere but the higher screams he didn't have a clue who they belonged to. Shoving his hands deeper into his hoodie pocket, Ronnie walked out on to the stage. Danny and Abigayl were at the front, mics in hand, laughing like crazy. Danny and Luna were apparently coupled as Cowboys and Indians but he'd never seen an Indian quite as hot as Luna was dressed, and Danny didn't really look much different. Abigayl was already in her costume too and Ronnie had to admit he immediately wanted to throw clothes at her. Like maybe a turtleneck and sweats. Watching her he started wondering if wearing skinny jeans was a good idea. She looked incredible though. But what the heck were they doing?   
"Alrighty my little squirrel. Try this one. Troy! Low to high." Danny called to where Troy stood behind the sound board.   
He started a track that sounded vaguely familiar and Danny let out a deep growl that grew into a high wailing scream. Damn he wished he could do that. As the music cut out Abigayl took a deep breath and shook her hands out in front of her.   
"Okay okay old man. I'm gonna eat you alive." Abigayl threatened.   
"Promise?" He teased back.   
She just rolled her eyes. "Troy! Play it! I'm gonna tear this fool apart!"   
Troy just laughed and started the track back up. Danny leaned towards her and flicked her nose. Abigayl slapped his arm away before taking a deep breath and mimicking his scream perfectly only higher.   
"Holy shit." Ronnie whispered to himself as Danny bowed in defeat and Aby and Becca started cheering. His girlfriend was a fucking beast.   
"Ronnie! Baby did you hear that? I killed him!" Abigayl exclaimed, jumping up to wrap her arms around his neck.   
"I heard you! I didn't know you could do that." He replied, hugging her close.   
"What did you think I meant when I told you I was a screamer?" She said, wiggling around until he sat her down.   
"You know exactly what I thought you meant. You look adorably under dressed by the way. Are you cold?"  
She shook her head. "Nope. I'm good. David said they're up for sound check first. Us girls are gonna pop over to the Hard Rock and be back before the show starts. I'll be down in front to watch you."   
"I don't much care for you being in public like that but as long as you're going with a group I won't complain. Just let me know when you guys make it back."  
Abigayl rolled her eyes but he knew she understood. "I will do that. I love you and I'll see you later."   
Ronnie leaned down to give her a quick kiss before she grabbed Luna's arm and dragged her off the stage. 

"Am I gonna be able to move with those things on?"  
Chelsie gave him a 'why are you such an idiot' look as she opened the giant black case that held his wings.   
"You'll be fine. They're super light weight. Come on shirt off big guy."   
Ronnie did as she said and once the surprisingly inconspicuous harness was in place he slipped the torn up white t-shirt over his head. Chelsie carefully picked up one of the soft black wings and hooked it in through a hole in the back of the shirt. Once both wings were in place he stood up straight and moved his arms seeing what kind of range he had with those massive things on his back.   
"Damn, they barely weigh anything."  
Chelsie scoffed. "I told you I'd get you the best."   
"Do I wanna know what the best cost me?"  
"That would be a no. Sit down. Time for the coup de gras. Halo time baby."   
Ronnie couldn't help but laugh as the tiny woman pushed on his shoulder till he sat on the bench in front of her. Jacky sure had picked good with this one. He liked Chelsie. Like the rest of the woman that fit into their family she could be demure and sweet until you crossed her. Plus she was good for Max. Kept him in line.   
She hadn't been working for two minutes when Jacky came into the room followed by a tall blond who Ronnie assumed was his "cousin" Marissa. Time to play nice.   
Marissa introduced herself and played it off like she actually was Jacky's cousin when he asked, but when she asked who he was J jumped in before he could answer telling her he was just the singer for the band. That hurt. Meeting the woman that Jacky had actually cheated on them with was bad enough but then him not even being willing to admit to her that they were together was like shoving the knife in and twisting it around. And Marissa seemed to think nothing of it so apparently she didn't even know who he was.   
After introductions Marissa excused herself and he and J were left alone with Chelsie.   
"Do I need to leave?" She asked quietly.   
Ronnie put his hand on her arm telling her to stay. It wasn't that he wanted an audience, but having someone else there to ground himself seemed like a good idea.   
"You know J, you treated me like shit when I accused you of cheating with her. I forgave you for that. Even when you made me apologize. I did my homework. Marissa may not know me but I know her. She's no more your cousin than I am anything but your singer. Yeah, I found out what happened. I let it go. I forgave you. But you aren't even willing to tell her that you and I are together? That's one hell of a slap in the face."  
Jacky just stared at the floor. "She wouldn't take it well if I told her."   
"That's fine. You're choice. I'm glad you didn't tear up that plane ticket. You're going to need it. I don't want you here anymore. Go on."  
He didn't argue. Ronnie saw the tears in his eyes but Jacky didn't say a thing. Why wouldn't he at least try?   
When he was once again left with Chelsie he let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding.   
"Ronnie I'm so s-"  
"It's okay. I'm not surprised honestly. I'll be fine. I'm sorry that you had to be here for that, I just didn't want to be alone with him. Thank you for not leaving." He told her honestly.   
He saw a tear slide down her cheek before she leaned forward put her arms around him. He held her close, just soaking in her warmth and strength. Hell he was going to need it to get through the night. 

Round one. Bring on the glitter!  
Abigayl laughed like crazy, wrapping her arms around Chelsie as they jumped along with the rest of the crowd when the confetti canons went off showering the fans in a haze of sparkle. Breathe Carolina was definitely getting the party started. Thanks to the water guns by the time Savages played at the end of the set everyone was permanently bedazzled. They probably looked half crazed but it was so much fun.  
As the beginning notes of Asking's set rang out the crowd surged forward crushing them against the barricade. Between the claustrophobic sea of people and the heat Aby started to panic. She needed out. Tapping Chelsie on the shoulder she waved to a security guard and pointed in front of the barricade. They didn't want to be in the way of security but she couldn't breathe in here. He took her hint and with a little help from the crowd got them both over into the pit area.  
"Girls, you need to go on around." The guy said as they stood behind them. There weren't any photographers tonight so the pit was empty.  
"No, it's okay we're with the bands." Chelsie answered, holding up their passes.  
He just nodded and went back to his post.  
Asking was amazing. Got the crowd spinning like a toy top. Ben even did a strip tease since him and Cam were dressed as women anyway.  
Black Veil Brides tried to smoke the place out but it was cool because you could see the glitter still hanging in the air as it moved through the purple smoke. When the played Fallen Angels Abigayl could have sworn the ground was actually shaking. Ashley dropped a guitar pick down Becca's top and she flipped him off. Funny, two years ago she probably would have hyperventilated over that.  
Finally it was time for Falling in Reverse to come on and only one word could describe the set.  
Pyrotechnics.  
There was fire everywhere it seemed. Aby had to turn away a few times just to keep her face from burning. What she couldn't turn away from was her angel on stage. This wings were huge! Ronnie looked like he was enjoying himself, keeping the kids wound up but something was off. The usual messing with J during his solos was missing and neither of them got anywhere near each other. What was up with that?  
The last notes of Raised by Wolves died out and they said thank you and waved as they left the stage. No way they were done?  
Abigayl watched curiously as a giant white screen rolled down from the back drop of the stage. The crowd fell into silence as it lit up white with a blinking cursor like someone was typing on blank paper. A few moments went by and words started being typed.

TO MY FAIRWEATHER FANS.....

The crowd went completely ballistic and Aby was right there with them as white smoke blew across the stage and Ronnie walked back in. It was so amazing to hear all the fans singing along. He'd received so much flack when that's song had been released that hearing all those kids sing the words around her made Abigayl tear up. She could only imagine how he was feeling up there. Hopefully as proud of himself as she was.  
When the song ended and the screen went back up Ryan was back behind his drums and the cheering continued as the rest of the band walked back on stage but Jacky didn't stop at stage right. Ronnie looked more than confused as J took the wireless mic from his hand. "Jacky what are you doing?" She heard Ronnie ask. When he looked down at her she just shook her head.  
"Hey, can everybody hear me? Quiet down." Jacky addressed the crowd, his voice was rough and he looked terrified. What the hell was he doing?  
When the crowd finally settled down he moved his guitar on to his back and looked out over them.  
"Okay so this isn't part of the show, but there's something I need to do so bear with me." He started, pacing across the front of the stage. "As most of you, or at least our fans know, our family has had some major ups and downs this last year. Well I finally thought we were on the right track. Then I blew it. I made a huge mistake. And I've learned something from it. Don't be afraid to love something, to be passionate. Don't hide what you feel just because it may offend someone else." Jacky glanced down at her and then over to Ronnie.  
"I'm the luckiest guy on the planet really. I have the best family and the best band anyone could ask for, but I also have two people that mean more to me than anything in the world. Abigayl," He said and blew her a kiss. She happily returned it and mouthed an I love you back. "I love you too. And Ronnie?"  
Aby could see him tense up as Jacky stood in front of him. But she could tell he was just as curious.  
"I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm no good at reminding you either. But I love you and I don't want to leave. Fuck everyone else. I'm not going anywhere." He finished.  
Ronnie seemed just as surprised as the crowd did when Jacky put his hands on either side of his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. A hush fell over the venue like they were all waiting. Abigayl just smiled. She wasn't sure what had brought this all on but she had a feeling it had been resolved as they pulled apart and both were grinning at one another. The crowd went nuts cheering and Aby tapped Chelsie's shoulder telling her to head out of the pit. Time for them to go backstage.  
"Alright, so um, we've got a few more songs for you guys." Ronnie yelled out as he took the mic back from Jacky and turning back to the crowd.  
Aby and Chelsie made it to the side of the stage just as Alone started up and Becca, who had already been there, wrapped an arm around her waist. The boys looked her way and she gave them a thumbs up. Everything was going to be okay.

On Dec 10, 2017 10:08 AM, "Ileana H" <1.chocolate.joie@gmail.com> wrote:  
More please

On Dec 10, 2017 12:02 AM, "Cali Tylers" wrote:  
Chapter 2.3

Las Vegas, Nevada   
October 30th

Being back in Vegas always felt like coming home. True, Abigayl had never lived here but that didn't change how she felt about it.   
Aby leaned back against the headboard of the giant bed in the penthouse suit she was sharing with the boys. Why they needed this she wasn't sure. Every other hotel they'd stayed in on tour had been just a place to sleep but not in Vegas. Only the Bellagio would do. Jacky said Falling in Reverse was in the Nobu Villa at Caesars Palace so apparently it wasn't just Breathe Carolina who was going big.   
As her phone beeped Aby grabbed it, opening a text from David. 

David: Hey Ty sent u somethin to the room. Enjoy ur day off. I'll text u when we head back tonight. 

Why the hell would he be sending her something?   
This was supposed to be her quiet day to recoup and decide what she was going to do about her and Jacky's situation. But she was welcome to a distraction. She wasn't any closer to a decision and right now she didn't want to think about it.   
Before she could delve deeper into that rabbit hole the buzzer rang out through the penthouse announcing whatever present David had sent for her. Scooting off the bed she padded across the plush dark red carpet to the door, long flowy white skirt swishing against her ankles. She'd woke up this morning feeling bound, her heart heavy. So she'd pulled out a long bohemian skirt and a thin light pink tank top, braided her long hair and thrown on a bunch of bangles. Over the years Abigayl had learnt she didn't really have a style. She wore whatever fit with the emotions she was feeling and today she had needed to feel free.  
Abigayl smiled as she opened the door and a staff member pushed a cart into the room. Everything was covered so she still couldn't tell what David had sent her.  
"Miss Tylers?" The man asked, pulling a black cloth from the cart.  
"That's me."  
"I have been given special instruction that you are to be blindfolded before given your surprise. Are you okay with that?"  
Abigayl nodded, hoping she wasn't falling into some kind of prank as he tied the black cloth around her eyes and led her to sit on one of the overstuffed couches. Once she was seated she felt him walk away then heard the clinking of silver as the dishes were uncovered. Everything was quiet for a few moments before someone knelt down in front of her.   
The all too familiar scent of mint infiltrated her senses and tears built up behind her eyes. This had to be a dream. She must have fallen asleep in the bedroom and now her mind was playing the cruelest of tricks on her. She knew it wasn't, that it couldn't be real but as rough fingers slid up her throat to trace along her jaw Aby gave in completely. As his lips brushed against her own she opened for him knowing only in her dreams would she ever taste his kiss again.   
Abigayl breathed in the scent of dark spice as she let her hands wander up Ronnie's arms and on to his strong shoulders to wrap around his neck.   
"I love you." She whispered in the safety of this dreamland.   
"Then forgive me." He answered quietly as the tie was loosened on her blindfold.   
Not wanting to lose this moment, Aby kept her eyes shut tight. She didn't want to wake up. Not yet. This was the conversation they would never have in real life. But here in her mind she could replay it over and over again.   
"There's nothing to forgive you for. You didn't do anything wrong. This was all my fault." She replied quickly.   
"You left, that's on you, but keeping us apart now is on me. I want us back together. You, me, and Jacky. I need you. Both of you."  
Abigayl felt tears slip from her eyes as she squeezed them shut as tight as she could.   
Do not wake up.   
Do not wake up.   
"Aby what are you doing? Open your eyes sweetie."  
She shook her head, running her fingers along the collar of his shirt. God this felt so real.   
"I can't. If I wake up you'll be gone." She whispered.   
Abigayl turned into his palm as Ronnie laid his hand against her cheek. The warmth of his skin sinking into her heart.   
"Sweetheart you're not dreaming." He said and she could hear the smile in his voice. "Just open your eyes."   
Could that be true?   
Slowly, very slowly, Abigayl opened her eyes and Ronnie smiled at her. Taking a deep breath she threw herself against him, hugging him as close as she could.   
Ronnie just laughed as he caught himself from falling backwards.   
"But I don't understand. Why are you here? Why now?"  
"Because it finally hit me yesterday that after the show tomorrow you and Jacky are leaving. Like for good leaving and I realized I couldn't let that happen. As long as you both were here I could pretend I didn't need you, but reality hit me and I am an idiot for ever believing that. I'm done pretending." He answered.   
Abigayl breathed a sigh of relief as he sat her back on the couch. Those big brown eyes watched her curiously as she ran her fingers through the ends of his hair then up the side of his neck. He just smiled as she ran her thumb over his lips. She was still in disbelief that he was really here.   
"Does Jacky know you're here?"  
Ronnie shook his head. "No. I figured convincing you to take me back would be harder than it would Jacky so that's my next stop. I'd like to spend some time with you first though if that's okay?"   
Abigayl laughed. "Of course that's okay. I just, this is unreal."   
"Trust me I know how you feel. I'm just happy you didn't kick my ass out. Oh, while I'm down here..."  
Aby watched as he dug something out of the pocket of his jeans then held up her pink wedding ring. She and Jacky had left their rings along with a note on Ronnie's bed the night he'd told her they didn't have a future together. Aby had needed finality and that gesture had been enough. But now she wanted that ring back on her finger more than anything.   
"So Aby will you fake marry me again? Please?"   
Abigayl's breath caught in her throat. She knew the answer but the tears in her eyes kept her vocal chords from working.   
Ronnie cocked his head at her. "Aby I'm not getting any younger here. Could you answer before my knees start screaming maybe?"   
Abigayl just laughed and took the little ring from him, sliding it onto her left hand. "Of course my answer is yes."   
As he smiled up at her Aby leaned down to lightly kiss him.   
"So what is all that about?" She asked sweeping her hand towards the cart.   
"Thought you might be hungry. Plus champagne to celebrate." He said pulling her to her feet.   
"Can you drink that?"   
"Moderately. A glass won't kill me. I never really had a problem with alcohol. It was what I did while I was drinking." He answered, unwrapping the top of the bottle.   
Aby plucked a strawberry from one of the dishes and put it in her mouth. The years they'd been together ran through her head. They'd never really talked about his addiction problems. Sure, she had asked but he wasn't very indulgent and she didn't want to push.   
Picking up a little silver bowl she filled it with different fruit and grabbed the two champagne flutes before heading back in to the bedroom.   
"Where are you going?"  
"Don't be so curious all the time." She teased, remembering back to when he'd said the exact same words to her. 

Abigayl was laughing so hard her stomach hurt as she fell on to her back next to Ronnie on the big bed. They'd spent the last few hours talking about all that happened during the months they were apart, both good and bad. A lot of air had been cleared too.  
"I'm serious! I was so pissed I missed the step completely and fell out of the bus in front of a bunch of fans. It was horrible, and J saw the whole thing." Ronnie admitted even as she laughed her ass off.  
"Haven't you learned yet that your anger only gets you hurt? Karma bites you in the ass every time." She said, rolling over to lay her head on his shoulder.   
"Yeah, yeah I'll listen someday. Hey do you have any plans for the rest of the night?"  
"Nope. This was my rest day. Why?"  
"Thought maybe you could come with me to talk to Jacky? He should still be at the hotel." He answered as he nuzzled into her hair.   
"Hmm I'll go with you but I'm taking food with me. And maybe the rest of that champagne."  
She felt Ronnie laugh under her ear. "Don't you ever stop eating? Fine it's a deal. Come on we can walk down there and I'll tell you about the show tomorrow?"   
"Yes!" Aby answered climbing off the bed. "I've been trying to get answers out of David and Tommy but they won't tell me anything about the show. Get up let's go!" 

 

He was in love with such a freak. Ronnie thought as they walked hand in hand down the Vegas Strip. Abigayl was humming to herself and looking around like she'd never been there before but he couldn't help but watch her.   
"So tell me about the show tomorrow." She asked as they walked past the Bellagio fountain. The spray felt nice even in October. Man he loved Vegas.   
"I don't want to spoil any surprises for you." He answered, holding his hand out towards the water.   
"Then don't, but tell me about the costumes. Are you guys gonna do some kind of theme?"  
Ronnie shook his head. "Nope. Not this year. We're all doing our own thing. Jacky's going to finally get to be Cloud. I had Max tell him about a designer in town that could make the costume. She's a good friend, I just didn't want J to know I had anything to do with it. I don't know what the others are doing. I figured I could just go as a rock star. It could be believable. What do you think?"  
Abigayl just rolled her eyes. "I don't think anyone is going to believe that. Come on, what are you doing? You tell me, I'll tell you."  
"That was hateful. Max's new girlfriend talked me into being a fallen angel. Sounds cheesy but it's pretty cool to be honest. What are you going to be?"  
"Well that is the only kind of angel you'll ever be." She said with a smirk. "I have two options. Either Harley Quinn or Rikku."  
Ronnie racked his brain to think what that second one was. He had a faint memory of some blond chick on one of Jacky's video games. J would probably like it if she picked that one.  
"I don't remember her except that she's from Final Fantasy? I'd go with that one. Jacky would like it I'm sure." He replied, nudging her shoulder.  
"I think you will too."  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
Abigayl gave him a flirty smile as she hurried on ahead of him.  
"Oh no you don't. Get back here and tell me more, anime girl!"

"Ronnie stop. Stop. Do you hear that?" Abigayl asked just before he opened the door into their suite.  
At first he thought she was being crazy, then he heard raised voices coming from inside. Neither of them were loud enough for him to tell who the voices belonged to.  
"Probably Ryan and Max. They argue all the time about stupid shit. Come on." He replied, taking her hand and pulling her through the door.  
They walked into the main room just in time to see Jacky swing and Ryan stumble backward, the impact from his fist snapping Ryan's head to the side. Before J could hit him again Ronnie grabbed him around the waist and yanked him back. Jacky strugged and fought him all the way into the next room. He loosened his grip just long enough to get a better hold and Jacky took the opportunity to turn and swing at him. Ronnie moved back just in time and managed to get an arm through his, spinning Jacky away from him and grabbing his other wrist behind his back before pushing him against the wall. Putting his other hand at the base of his neck Ronnie held him still, feeling his pusle racing. What the fuck had just happened?  
Realizing he couldn't get away he felt Jacky take a deep breath and he rested his forehead against the wall. "What is your problem J? You've been picking fights and snapping at everyone. That's not you."   
When Jacky started struggling against his hold again he wrapped his hand around the front of his throat, pushing his head back until J was too off balance to fight.   
"Jacks stop..." He said, keeping his voice steady as he ran his fingers along Jacky's jawline.   
The minutes ticked by as Jacky's breathing leveled out, his heartbeat slowing but Ronnie wasn't going to take any bets. He didn't need another black eye.   
"I can't do this." Jacky whispered barely loud enough for him to hear.   
When he finally released his arms Jacky turned towards him but as the adrenaline faded he sank down on to his knees.   
"Hey." He said, getting J's attention as he sat down with him. "Talk to me. What's going on? Why did you attack Ryan? It's not like you to start shit with everyone else."   
Jacky took a deep breath and reached for his hand.   
Ronnie sighed and took his hand, brushing his thumb over his wrist. This was Jacky. He didn't pick fights with his friends for no reason. He was scared and Ronnie wasn't sure why, but the fear was right there in those bright blue eyes.   
"Alright. Come with me. Come on." He said, standing up and pulling Jacky up with him. He frowned but followed him back into his bedroom.   
As soon as the door was shut behind them, Jacky sat up on the big bed and pulled his knees up to his chest.  
"Why'd you hit Ryan?" Ronnie asked when it became apparent that he wasn't going to start talking.  
"Because he'd been picking at me all day. I got mad and said something about he's only being a dick because Becca isn't here to stop him, and he said at least he had a family to tell him when he was being one. I just flew off the handle. But he's right. I don't have a family anymore. Not here. Even the band doesn't feel like home anymore. When I'm with Abigayl I miss you, and when I'm with you I miss her. I can't win, and I can't take the stress anymore. I'm becoming a person I hate....I booked a flight for first thing in the morning after the show. I'm going back to England. I guess that's where my only home is now."  
"What if you could have both of us again? Would you stay here?" He asked, sitting on the edge of the bed farthest from him trying to pretend his anxiety wasn't licking the ceiling at the thought of Jacky leaving the country again.  
Jacky frowned then just shook his head. "What's it matter? You're never going to get over yourself enought to let that happen. I'm leaving. That's that."  
Okay that stung a bit, but he was right. Ronnie had always been good at holding a grudge.  
"You're right J. That's that. Just stay here a second okay? I'll be right back. There's just a couple things I want to say if you're going to be leaving."  
Before Jacky could protest he quickly left the room and headed to find Abigayl. She was sitting with Ryan who looked like he'd seen a ghost.  
"Is Jacky okay?" Ryan asked as he joined them.  
"Not really. Abigayl will you please go try and talk to him? I was wrong, you were the easy one to convince. J's not buying it. He's got a flight back to England day after tomorrow."  
"What?!" Ryan exclaimed even as Aby stayed quiet but Ronnie could see the muscle in her jaw work. She was thinking.  
"I'll go talk to him." She finally said before leaving the room.  
"Ryan why-"  
"I am so sorry. What I said to him....Fuck. I gotta go talk to him."  
"No, wait." Ronnie said, putting a hand on his friend's arm. "Aby needs to talk to him more right now. Yeah, what you said was bad but it wasn't what got him in a rage like that. I guarantee he apologizes to you first."  
Ryan sat with the heels of his hands pressed agaisnt his brows like his head hurt. "Why is Abigayl with you? She just here to see J?"  
"No, she actually spent the morning with me." He answered nonchalantly.  
"So you begged her to take you back then?"  
Ronnie could hear the smirk in his voice. "Shut up Ryan, but yes."

It was almost an hour later when Abigayl came back into the living room. Jacky walked in behind her, fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt.  
Aby offered him a smile and patted his shoulder as she passed him to sit in one of the big chairs.  
Jacky didn't move. He just stood there with his eyes on the cream colored carpet. As the four of them were caught in that suspended moment of silence, Ronnie took the time to study Jacky's face. The last few months had changed him and definitely not in a good way. His whole persona seemed darker. The quiet peacekeeper shell had been chipped away and embeded with an anger and meaness that never should have become part of him. And he looked tired, just drained, all the time. He hadn't deserved any of the shit they'd put him through. Enough was enough.  
Ronnie could feel Abigayl's questioning gaze as he got up and went to stand in front of Jacky. Those blue eyes he loved so much finally looked up at him and his heart broke. It was as if all the innocence had been sucked out of them and in a way he guessed it had.  
"Jacky I-"  
"Ryan I'm sorry for what I said." Jacky said, looking past him, his voice devoid of emotion.  
"The feeling is mutual J."  
Jacky didn't reply, just focused on him again. Neither of them spoke, the silence stretching into eternity.  
"I don't want to hate you." Jacky said finally.  
"Then what do you want to do?"  
Jacky didn't answer, just leaned up and lightly kissed him. The action surprised him but as the taste of green apples invaded his head Ronnie wasn't about to complain. He'd missed him so much. Putting his hands on either side of his face, brushing his thumbs along his jawline, he pulled him closer. He didn't even care that Ryan was there watching them.  
"I just want you. I want my family back." J whispered against his lips.  
"We're here. I promise. You just have to give us another chance." He answered. "Do you want to go somewhere, get out of here? Just the three of us?"  
Jacky shook his head. "Could we just stay here instead? The people coming and going here are my family too. I need all of them right now."  
That admission told him everything he needed to know.  
"Looks like we're staying in tonight." He said to Abigayl as he wrapped his arms around Jacky.  
She smiled. "I'm gonna go down to the bus and grab a few things then. You want everyone here J?"  
Ronnie felt Jacky nod agaisnt his chest.

Abigayl had sent out a group message inviting everyone back to the hotel for the evening and surprisingly enough even though they were in Vegas most of them were more than willing to come back. The boys from Breathe Carolina were doing their set at Tao so they wouldn't be there but all of Asking and Black Veil showed up. DJ had shown up with Becca too. Dahlia had shown up as soon as she found out Luna was in town and announced that Krista was flying into Vegas the next morning for the show. Ashley got a text from Jeff saying he wished he could be there too but work keeping up Harlot's social appearences whilst Danny was with Asking. Even Chelsie had showed up for Max. Ronnie caught himself wishing that Chris and Veronica could be there too. Even if they did annoy the hell out of them. But it was nice to have so much family around. And Jacky was smiling for the first time in months.  
They spent the evening switching between movies like Batman, Iron Man, TMNT, and The Avengers. As it turned out, this was a way better way to spend time in Vegas than out at clubs. He looked over to where Abigayl was curled up next to Ashley on the floor and couldn't help but smile. This felt good, and with this kind of feeling in the air he knew that tomorrow's show was going to be one to remember.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 2.5

Las Vegas, Nevada   
November 1st

Her neck was broke.  
Holy fuck her neck was broke!   
Okay maybe not.   
Abigayl groaned as she lifted her head from where it hung off the top stair and rolled onto her stomach. The tile was freezing but all she could focus on was how bad her skull was aching. How the hell had she fallen asleep like that?   
Man she hadn't even changed clothes last night. Although she didn't really have a clue how they got back to the hotel. After the show they had all gone out to celebrate Halloween and honestly she didn't remember much of anything.   
Taking a deep breath Aby pushed herself up to her knees then decided vertical wasn't a good idea as her world started to spin. Maybe crawling was a better idea. She managed to get down the stairs to the small landing before the stairs turned and continued down to the formal living area of the suite but that was as far as she got. Abigayl pressed her hands against her head like she could somehow keeping it from exploding.   
She wasn't sure how much time had passed when she felt arms pick her up.   
"Where we're you headed sweetie?" Ronnie's voice purred in her ear.   
"I'm so tired." She whispered, feeling like she was screaming at him.   
"I'm sure you are. I put you in bed this morning but apparently you didn't want to stay there. Here sit up a second."  
Abigayl did as she was told when he sat her up on the counter in the kitchen area. She tried not to move her head as he popped the top off a Corona and handed it to her.   
"Drink away a hangover?" She teased.   
"Danny swears it works. I wouldn't know anymore." He said standing between her knees.   
"Have I ever told you how proud I am of you?"  
Ronnie just rolled his eyes and pushed the bottle to her lips.   
"I'm serious! You never talk about it but you've come so far. I mean going out with us last night and staying completely sober? That took some major willpower. I don't know if I could do that. I think you're pretty amazing. I hope you know that."  
"How bout I just take your word for it? You ready to go get dressed?"  
Abigayl nodded and let him pick her up again.   
"Where is Jacky?" She asked when he set her down in the empty bed.   
"I think he went to breakfast with Marissa. I know they had a lot to talk about." Ronnie answered as he pulled her boots off.   
"What's that supposed to mean? Ronnie what happened last night? It isn't like Jacky to call attention like that."   
He didn't answer right away but Aby could tell he was thinking about what to say. Once she'd pulled on a pair of leggings and one of his hoodies he crawled into bed with her and pulled her into his arms.   
"Remember when we first heard about Marissa on Warped?"  
"Yeah you thought Jacky was cheating on us with her but they're cousins." She said snuggling into his shoulder. She was freezing.   
"They WOULD have been cousins had he and Nikky stayed together. She is Nikolai's cousin. And Jacky did cheat. I should have told you but I just wanted the whole thing to go away. So Marissa shows up and J isn't even willing to tell her he and I are together. I don't know why but that hurt worse than him cheating. I told him to leave. That I didn't want him here anymore. That's what last night was about. I guess he wanted to prove he wasn't embarrassed about us or something."  
Abigayl had to remember to breathe for a moment. Jacky had what!?   
"Ronnie how could you not tell me? What the hell?"  
She said pushing away from him.   
"Because I found out right after we found out you were pregnant. I thought we'd all be okay. I didn't want to add that stress to you when it didn't really matter. Even now I don't really care. We've all made mistakes Aby. Just forget about it. Come on, tours over, we're in Vegas and we're together. I don't want to fight."  
Aby agreed with that. She didn't want to fight anymore either.   
"Okay, well I hope he comes back soon. If this is our last day in Vegas I'd like to spend it with the two of you since we don't have to worry about a show tonight or anything."  
Ronnie smiled and brushed her hair back. "Thank you. I don't think he'll be gone that long but it'll give you time to sober up." He teased.   
"Very funny." She replied, laying her head back on his shoulder.   
They were quiet for a few moments and Aby felt her eyes getting sleepy when Ronnie's phone started blaring Eminem through the room.   
"Speak of the devil." He said, taking the thing from his pocket and answering it on speaker.   
"Hey Jacky wher-"  
"Ronnie? This is Marissa. There's been..." She stopped and breathed and Aby could tell she was trying not to cry.   
"Marissa what happened? Where is Jacky?" She asked softly.   
"The hos- we're at the hospital. There was an accident. Jacky's in surgery."  
They were out the door and into a taxi before they even ended the call. 

Marissa met them at the doors of the hospital and lead them back to the waiting room where the nurses had asked her to stay. As she sat down with the woman Ronnie paced the length of the room, he never could sit still when he was worried or scared and right now they were both terrified.   
"Talk to me. Tell me what happened." She asked giving Marissa a once over. She looked okay except for a small scratch on her right cheek.   
"We had gone to breakfast then decided to go to my step father's house where I'm staying. We had just got in the taxi and were pulling across an intersection when we were hit. I saw it coming. The truck didn't stop in time. The paramedics that showed up said we were lucky because the truck just pushed us instead of smashing the car. I'm fine but Jacky hit his head pretty hard. A nurse came out just a minute ago and told me he's going to have a few stitches low on the back of his head but other than that he's okay. She said they needed to question him when he woke up just to make sure nothing worse happened but then we, I mean you, can go in and see him." She finished, fidgeting with the sleeve of her sweater.   
"You can come with us Marissa. You love him too. I'm glad you're okay. Let's hope J is too. Ronnie come here." Abigayl said, putting her hand out to him.   
Watching him pace was like seeing a tiger in a cage at the zoo. He took her hand, dropping to his knees in front of her and wrapping his arms around her waist. He was actually shaking.   
"I'm going to step outside for a moment and call Maddy and Dominic." Marissa said quietly and Abigayl nodded to her.   
Once she was out of the room Abigayl rubbed Ronnie's back trying to lend him any comfort she could. He relaxed minimally   
"He's going to be okay honey. You heard what Marissa said. The doctor isn't worried. That's good news. I'm sure he'll wake up before long and we can go see him." She whispered reassuringly.   
"I can't lose him." Was the only response she got. 

Before long other members of their 'family' started showing up until the little waiting room was packed full with people sitting on the furniture, cabinets, and floor. As Aby looked around the room she was thankful, she hoped that Jacky knew how much all of these people cared about him. Luna and Dahlia were sat on the floor on either side of Danny, she could tell the women had been crying but not now. They were too strong for that. Ryan had Becca cradled on his lap. Being almost nine months pregnant she looked incredibly uncomfortable in that position but didn't complain. Chelsie sat with Max, who had a white knuckled grip on her hand. Krista sat with CC's head on her shoulder, rubbing his arm. Everyone was silent. And time stretched on.   
Three hours later a woman with short blond hair and dark green eyes opened the door to the waiting room. She smiled when she saw all the people packed into the little waiting room and introduced herself as Dr. Williams.   
"He's awake and doing just fine. We need someone to come and help with our questions. Just a rudimentary caution. Marissa Montgomery?"  
Marissa looked to her and Abigayl nodded letting her know it was okay.   
Once the door was shut behind them a sigh of relief went through the room. The tension disbanding, except for Ronnie.   
"If J's okay then why do they have to ask him questions? Why can't we just see him?" He said angrily.   
Abigayl slid her hand into his. She'd never seen him this strung out before.   
"They're checking for amnesia." Luna answered flatly, chewing on the end of a cherry twizzler. "It's common when dealing with a head injury. It's not a big deal sweetie. Just be patient."   
Yeah that didn't help. Ronnie stood up to pace again only to realize he had no place to go and sat back down. He was going to lose it if they didn't get to see Jacky soon.   
"Abigayl I..."  
"I know baby, I know." She said pulling him into her arms. His heart was beating so fast she was honestly worried. 

It was a good half an hour before Marissa and Dr. Williams came back to the waiting room. Marissa had a tight look on her face like she was disappointed and that look alone made Aby's stomach turn.   
"The doctor said you're welcome to go see him now." She said to them. "But I have to warn you first. We didn't think anything was wrong at the beginning of their little test but... I'm so sorry."   
Abigayl's heart sank. "What happened?"   
Marissa's eyes were red when she looked up at them again. "He remembers everything except the two of you. He knows you guys are together and that he lives with you but nothing of your relationship with him. As far as he knows he's just the guitarist in your band. I wanted to tell him but the doctor told me we can't push him. He has to remember on his own. Guys I am so so sorry."  
There was nothing she or anyone else could have said to prepare them for that. Jacky had done everything possible not to leave them and now they'd lost him in a completely different way.   
"Okay....okay. Let's go see him." Abigayl said and pulled Ronnie out of the room with her.   
He kept ahold of her hand as they walked into the room and Jacky smiled at them from the hospital bed. Aby could see a nasty black bruise protruding from the neckline of his hospital gown and a few more lining his arms but his eyes were bright and happy which made her heart break even more.   
"Why do you guys look so sad? I'm not dead." He teased. "We um, we were just worried about you Jacks. They told us you got a few stitches." Ronnie answered, unwilling to let go of her hand.   
Jacky frowned, his light brown hair falling into his eyes. "Jacks? You've never called me that before. Yeah I did. Sixteen of them actually. Right back here." He said, motioning to the white bandage on the back of his head. "They had to shave a lot of my hair though..." He trailed off. That would bother him.   
Abigayl offered him a smile that she didn't feel. "It'll grow honey. Don't worry, no one's going to say anything. How are you feeling though?"   
Jacky shrugged. "I feel fine. They probably gave me something for pain but really I just want to go home. Thank you guys for staying though. You didn't have to do that."   
Was he insane?   
"Everybody's here Jacky." Ronnie replied, crossing his arms over his chest. "We're family. No way would we not be here."   
"You guys are the best friends anyone could ask for. Did they tell you when I'd be able to go home?"  
Abigayl nodded. "We can take you home in a few hours. They said you should get some rest before you leave. We'll be here if you need anything okay?" She told him, kissing his forehead.   
"I'll do that. See you guys in a while then."  
Trying to act like this was all normal Aby pushed Ronnie from the room. She could feel his anger radiating off of him.   
"Ronnie stop a sec. Hey, you gotta calm down. You cannot be angry at Jacky for not knowing. It isn't his fault and you're going to make him feel bad and probably confuse the hell out of him."  
He settled down a bit then, leaning back against the wall. "This is going to kill me Aby. I don't know if I can do this."   
"Yes you can. You don't have a choice. We need to go let everyone else know what's going on. I figured we could go get the Escalade while we're waiting."   
"I'll just follow you."  
Abigayl understood. This was that one moment in their lives where she needed to be the strong one. He needed her for once and she was going to man up and handle this. She had to. 

 

This was so wierd.   
Ronnie felt lost as he followed Jacky through the house. It was like he was a stranger. He talked to Rosa then headed upstairs. On the third floor landing he stopped abruptly and looked around like he wasn't sure where he was. Hope built in Ronnie's chest, maybe he'd remember something.   
"J, you okay?" He asked, leaning against the wall beside him.   
Jacky frowned. "I um, Ronnie I-" He stuttered out then hung his head. "I don't know where my room is."   
He sounded so broken. All he wanted to do was pull Jacky into his arms and make him whole again. To take him to their room and crawl under the covers. To kiss him until he remembered everything.   
But that wasn't going to happen. They couldnt force him. For Jacky and Abigayl's sakes he would follow the doctor's orders. Even if it killed him. Which it currently was.   
"No big deal man, come on, back downstairs."  
Jacky gave him a small smile and followed him back to the second floor. Rosa had been warned ahead of time and she'd moved the majority of J's things to one of the spare bedrooms. Ronnie assumed he'd automatically gone to the top floor because somewhere in that mixed up mind he did remember, it just wasn't clear.   
"Thanks. That was weird. How do you forget something like that?" Jacky tried to turn it into a joke.   
"Probably just the pain meds. I know they make me loopy as hell. I think Aby and I are going to head to bed. Didn't get much sleep last night. We'll be upstairs if you need anything though okay?" That was at least the truth. He was exhausted from trying to keep from jarring Jacky's memories on the ride home.   
"Alright. I think I'm probably going to sleep too. Thank you again for taking care of me. Goodnight Ronnie." He said with a smile.   
"No problem. Goodnight J."

"Ever think you'd be here Aby?"  
Abigayl gave him a curious look as she put that vanilla lotion on her arms. She always smelled so good. Not to mention looked good. Her white hair fell in waves down her back and she wore a black silky little dress thing. He didn't know what girls called those, he just called them sexy.   
"What do you mean?" She asked as she rested her foot on the edge of the bed, her hands running over the soft skin on her legs. Damn he just wanted to eat her alive.   
"Here. I mean all of this. Stability scares me I guess. This is awfully domestic of us. In our own home getting ready for bed at nine o'clock. We're getting old."   
Aby switched legs and from his vantage point he could see she really hadn't worn anything else. He could have her naked in no time flat. Needing to touch her Ronnie reached out to trail his fingers along the skin of her ankle. She just smiled.   
"It's funny, while I was gone all I could think about was this. Not the tours, not all the traveling. Just this. I missed being here. This is the only place I've ever felt at home. I missed little ordinary things like waking up in the morning and coming downstairs to hear you all laughing with Rosa in the kitchen. I missed almost falling down the stairs because Charlie was chasing Cloud through the house. The all nighters when we watch the Avengers and argue over who is better. I love this part of our life."  
"Can I tell you a secret?"  
Abigayl arched a brow at him. "What do you think?"   
Ronnie took that as a yes and pulled her up onto the bed with him. "Sometimes I catch myself wishing this was the only part of my life. I love my band, I love touring but every once in awhile I imagine just this. Unfortunately we wouldn't have this without the rest of it. I'd probably have to get a job and I don't think I'm ready for all that."  
Aby laughed at that." I think we balance it fairly well most of the time. And we've got a few months now to play house."  
"That sounds perfect." He replied, pushing her on to her back.   
"What is with you tonight, you've been looking at me like I'm a prime cut of steak." She laughed as he kissed along her collar bone.   
"Nah, better than steak. Just barely though." He teased, moving off of her.   
"Hey, where you think you're going?" She asked, sitting back up.   
In that position it was easy for him to grab her ankle and put her leg over his shoulder. Abigayl hissed through her teeth as he nipped the soft skin of her inner thigh then her fingernails bit into scalp. Uninhibited. That was Abigayl in a nutshell. Ronnie loved it when she just let go like that. She was good for him.   
He wasn't going to lie to himself, he had anger issues. Always had, probably always would. After getting out of prison alcohol and drugs weren't an option to take that edge off anymore so he'd turned to sex. It worked. But then he'd started dating and when his girlfriend had denied him he'd gone to anyone that wouldn't. That's why he'd never looked anywhere but Abigayl. She knew and she never said no. No matter how rough with her he got she never said a word. Good for him? Hell she'd tamed him, and he loved it.   
He teased and licked at her core until her hips lifted off the bed and she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out as she came. The taste of her on his tongue made Ronnie's head reel better than any drug could. Man, he could so do this all night. Maybe he would. 

"You thinking about Jacky?" Abigayl asked as they lay together in the darkness. She was running her fingers up and down his arm. It was soothing but Ronnie wasn't sure why.   
"How'd you know that?"  
She just scoffed. "I'm your wife. I know everything." She answered with false bravado.   
"Really? Then how many fingers am I holding up?" He teased.   
"Four?"  
"Two, but good guess."  
She laughed then and he considered that a personal accomplishment.   
"No, I was thinking about him too. I have been since we left the hospital and I think I've come to a conclusion."   
Ronnie shifted his arm so his palm rested at the base of her throat. He just wanted to feel her heartbeat. "Oh? What conclusion?"   
"That maybe I don't want him to remember he was with us."  
"What? Why?"  
"Think about it Ronnie. What you said last time we were in Vegas was true. You and I are toxic, but we need one another. We're fucked up. There's no changing that. And I know you must feel the same when I say a lot of my attraction to Jacky was the fact that he was nothing like us. He was the innocence in our relationship. Everything that we weren't. But look what we did to him. We stole that from him. We took every drop of goodness and light out of him and left him bitter. Now he doesn't remember any of it. He has a chance to be that person again and I don't feel like I have the right to take that from him. Not again. Maybe it's best he just not remember."  
She unfortunately had a point. It was like the slate had been wiped clean. Jacky didn't remember leaving Nikky behind as anything other than a friend, he didn't remember being with them or what happened to Mycah. He was free to be happy again. As much as he hated it, Ronnie knew Abigayl was right. It wasn't fair of them to destroy him twice. They had to let go.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 2.6

November 25th  
Los Angeles, California 

A month.   
It had been almost a month since they'd brought Jacky home from the hospital.   
Ronnie looked over to where Jacky was sat on the opposite end of the couch. He and Julyen were laughing as they once again killed Ryan and Danny on Halo. The sparkle was back in those blue eyes. Any heartache he and Abigayl were feeling amounted to nothing when they could see him smile. He was free.   
And everyone around had been very good about sticking to the story. They hadn't even hinted at the fact that there was a whole part of his life J wasn't remembering.   
Considering the past few weeks had been so hectic Ronnie thought they were coping well. At the end of October Aby had received a call that Becca was being admitted and four hours later baby Alessa was born. At first he'd felt a little twinge of jealousy that made him feel like an asshole. He and Aby had been the last ones to go into the room to see Becca and Ryan's little girl. It had taken a few minutes to prepare. Visions of being at the hospital with Mycah kept flashing through his head. That memory felt raw, right there in the forefront of his mind and he knew Abigayl was feeling the same way. But he stood by her side as she held Alessa and tears fell from her eyes. Alessa was beautiful, just like her mother. Ryan seemed like he was in shock when he held the tiny baby in his arms. Shocked but happy.   
Watching Jacky hold her had been the hardest part. He was so excited. He had no memories of losing his son and for that Ronnie was thankful.   
The point was they had made it through. Then Thanksgiving came and the house was full of people again. Some staying, some just passing by to say hello. This morning the girls had all gone out to fight the crowds for Black Friday. Ronnie had elected to stay home since Brent was dropping off Julyen for the day. He'd never admit it but he loved it when the kid came over.   
"Alright Juju bean, give the controller to Cam. I gotta have someone to beat up on."  
Julyen did as he was told and Ronnie took Jacky's.   
"I'm gonna get another beer. Anyone want anything?" Jacky asked as he climbed over the back of the couch.   
There was a round of me's then he disappeared into the next room.   
"I think Alessa is waking up." Ryan said, tapping the baby monitor they had brought downstairs with them. Turned out the nursery was useful after all. "Julyen you want to come with me?"   
"Yes!" He answered, hopping off the couch and grabbing Ryan's hand. The two of them disappeared into the main hall and Ronnie turned his attention back to Danny shooting him in the face.   
After another round he entered the ultimate lazy mode and slid further down into the couch, stretching his arms over his head. He was lined up for a perfect snipe on Cameron when the controller was yanked out of his hands.   
"What the fuck?" He sat up to find Jacky behind him ruining his shot. Hell no. "Give it back!"   
"Why? You're getting anhillated anyway." J teased.   
A second later he was over the back of the couch and wrestling him for the controller. Jacky was laughing so hard by the time Ronnie pinned him down he couldn't fight anymore.   
"You fucked up my shot J." He said trying to sound serious.   
"Cry about it why don't you."   
He really tried his best not to laugh as he looked down at his friend. This was the most the two of them had really interacted since Vegas and even though he knew he shouldn't Ronnie willed him to remember with everything he had. As those bright eyes looked up at him he thought he was going to get his wish. He even found himself leaning down to kiss him and Jacky didn't protest.   
"Are you guys gonna kiss?" Julyen's voice cut through the silence.   
Ronnie looked up to see he and Ryan had just come back into the room. He couldn't think of any worse timing.   
"Get off me." Jacky said angrily as he started to struggle. Once he was up he headed out of the room.   
"Jacky!" He called after him but it didn't stop him.   
"Julyen go play." Ryan said, pushing him towards Danny and Cam then offering Ronnie a hand up. "You okay?"   
"Honestly? Not really."  
Ryan gave him a sympathetic look. "Let me go talk to him?"   
Ronnie just nodded. Ryan could make him talk. 

 

"J? Can I come in? Ronnie's not with me." Ryan said through the solid wood.   
No answer. Nothing.   
"Jacky if you don't answer I'm coming in anyway."  
Still nothing.   
With a heavy sigh, Ryan pushed the door open and waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. There for a moment downstairs he had been sure Jacky had remembered being with at least Ronnie. He'd held his breath hoping even though he'd been told not to. But then Julyen had butted in and Jacky had freaked. The kid hadn't known why what he'd said was wrong. He was used to seeing the two of them together. They couldnt very well ask a seven year old to make sure never to mention something that was normal to him.   
His vision clearing he saw Jacky laying on his side in bed facing away from him and he was breathing like a freight train.   
Trying not to spook him, Ryan sat on the edge of the bed. "Jacky are you okay?"   
"No."  
Ryan resisted the urge to pop his friend in the back of the head. "Then what's wrong?"   
"Other than the fact that I could cut diamonds with my dick right now? Nothing. I'm peachy."  
Ryan tried and failed to not laugh and it came out as more of a snort. Becca would have keeled over laughing at him for that. But considering it was Jacky that was probably the funniest thing he'd ever heard.   
"Okay..... That was an over share. Um, you need a minute to uh..."  
Jacky shook his head. "I can't."   
"Can't or won't?"  
"Both."  
"Jacky you're being a pain in the ass. Talk to me." He said, keeping all humor out of his voice.   
"You'll just use whatever I say to make fun of me more. So no thanks."  
Ryan frowned. Did he really pick on the kid that much? Why hadn't he said something? Why hadn't anyone said anything for that matter.   
"J I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was being such an asshole to you. I promise nothing you say will leave this room."  
Jacky rolled on to his back then and looked up at him, blue eyes searching his face. About the time Ryan was sure he would refuse he sighed and closed his eyes.   
"I swear you tell anyone and you'll never have children again. It's just, these last couple of days anytime I'm alone or dreaming all I can see is this vision, if you will, of Ronnie, Abigayl and I in this little cabin somewhere..." He trailed off.   
Holy fuck. That wasn't a vision. It was a memory. He was remembering their vacation to New Orleans.   
"What happened in your dream?" He asked like he didn't already know.   
"No way I'm telling you."  
Of course not.   
"Okay then tell me why you just freaked out downstairs."  
"Because of what Julyen said." He replied, putting his arm over his face. "I felt like I'd been there before. Like that had happened before. And I wanted....I wanted Ronnie to kiss me. Fuck, Ryan what is wrong with me?"   
Well wasn't that the million dollar question.   
Ryan took a deep breath trying to think of some way to reassure his friend while at the same time not divulging information he wasn't supposed to know.   
"I don't think anythings wrong with you. I'm sure it's a passing thing. No one controls what their subconscious dreams up. I think all of us have had some kind of thought like that before. Honestly J I wouldn't worry about it. If you think it's becoming a problem. Maybe talk to Ronnie about it. He'll probably tell you the same thing."  
Jacky scoffed. "Yeah right. And say what? 'Uh hey sorry I freaked out and tried to kiss you earlier, it's just I've been getting off to the thought of having sex with you and your wife. But you're cool with it right?' No, no way in hell Ryan. I'm not gonna tell one of the straightest guys I know that I'm dreaming about him. I'd be on the next plane home."  
How ironic was that?   
"Jacky seriously I don't think-"  
"Just forget about it Ryan. I'll figure a way to get past whatever this is. Just keep your promise. I don't want anyone to know. Please just do that for me." He said, his voice full of desperation.   
Ryan nodded. "Yeah, of course. Your secret is safe with me buddy. Come back downstairs when you can okay?"   
Jacky just nodded and rolled back on to his side. 

His stomach was a mess as he walked down the spiral stairs to the library. On one hand Ronnie needed to know what Jacky had said. Maybe he could help him. But on the other hand he needed to keep this secret. Ryan honestly had no idea how Jacky felt about his teasing him and he wanted to show that he could trust him.   
"Hey, you talk to him?" Ronnie asked as he walked into the living room.   
"Yeah, I did." He replied scooping Julyen up and setting him in his lap.   
Ronnie gave him a look saying he should elaborate but he didn't really want to.   
"So? Is he okay? What's going on?"  
"Ronnie I'm sorry but I can't tell you. Jacky made me promise and I'm not going to break that. I can tell you he's okay. He doesn't remember. You gotta just let it go." He finished, taking a controller from Cam.   
""What's wrong with Uncle Jacky?" Julyen asked as he moved off Ryan's lap and over to Ronnie.   
"Remember how I told you Jacky and his friend were in a car accident?" Julyen nodded. "Well he hit his head pretty hard. He can't remember how much Aby and I love him. We're just his friends."   
Julyen frowned, folding his little hands together. "So he didn't want to kiss you?"   
Ronnie smiled and ruffled the kids hair. "No, not anymore Julyen."   
"Why can't you just tell him you love him?"  
Man that kid was inquisitive.   
"Because he doesn't love us that way now. But I'd rather have him here as my friend than not at all you know?"  
He nodded his head, whether he actually understood or not Ryan didn't know.   
"Well I think you should just hug him until he remembers. Just like this." Julyen said as he stood up on the couch and wrapped his arms around Ronnie's neck. Ryan just smiled and thought for a moment about how lucky he was. Becca was his everything but now they had a beautiful little girl and she was quickly becoming the center of their world. Mycah would have been almost a year old now. He couldn't imagine what they had gone through. The thought of losing Alessa made him sick. He was going to do right by her and her mother. Ryan realized what a gift he had and had no intention of taking advantage of it. 

 

The mature thing to do would have been to calm himself down and go back downstairs with everyone else.   
So what was he doing?   
Flopping around in bed like a two year old trying to pretend he wasn't picturing that kiss he'd never get every time he closed his eyes. He wanted to go back downstairs but his body didn't want to cooperate. Talking to Ryan should have been a turn off but apparently he was way too far gone for that.   
Jacky sighed and rolled on to his back. If he was going to be a freak he might as well take it all the way. Maybe if he gave into the dream it would go away.   
His entire body jerked as his hand made contact with the part of him demanding release and he closed his eyes and waited for the dream to fill his head. But what he got was a vision of him and Abigayl in a bathroom somewhere. Why there? He had her pinned up against the wall, her dress pushed up around her hips with her legs wrapped around his waist. As his hand slid up and down he imagined burying himself inside her over and over again. His head kicked back, Jacky clenched his teeth as his muscles tightened but then the scene changed again. He was in what looked like the back room in their tour bus. The breath was knocked out of him as Ronnie flipped him over on to his back. There was something sticky on his skin, caramel? Why? In the dream Ronnie kissed him roughly before licking the caramel away in a path down his chest and abdomen. Lower and lower Jacky watched as those soft lips engulfed him and his hips rocked off the bed as he climaxed so hard his vision went black. As his breathing slowed he opened his eyes, why had he expected to see anything but his room? And why were these new dreams popping up? They'd felt so real. He could feel where the two of them had touched him. It all felt so real...

After taking a quick shower Jacky got dressed and went downstairs feeling more relaxed than he had in days. Relaxed and ashamed.   
It was so wrong for him to be thinking about his friends like that. But what was he supposed to do? Just not sleep?   
Taking a deep breath he turned the corner into the kitchen where he could hear Ronnie talking with Rosa and Ryan.   
"J? Hey, you okay?" He asked, baby Alessa sleeping in his arms. For some reason that sight made his heart hurt.   
Jacky rubbed the center of his chest trying to get the feeling to go away. "Yeah, I'm fine."  
Ronnie gave him a curious look. "You were upstairs for three hours. We were getting kinda worried about you."  
"Don't worry about me. I'm gonna head out for awhile. I'll be back later." He said holding up the keys to the escalade.   
"Alright. Well just um. Never mind. We'll see you later then."  
What was that all about? Jacky thought as he grabbed a jacket and left the house. He had one goal. To get drunk enough to forget about the dreams. 

 

"Bring me my baby!!"  
Abigayl laughed as she followed Becca into the house. She'd ditched her bags just inside the door and ran towards Ryan who was coming from the dining room with Alessa.   
"One track mind." Kia said as she pushed some of the bags off to the side so she could get through the door.   
"Well at least it's a good track!" Chelsie said from behind them.   
Aby had to agree with that. With her arms full of bags she went into the dining room and set them on the long table.   
"Ronnie?" She called out.   
"Kitchen!"  
With a smile playing at her lips she hurried into the kitchen and flung her arms around his neck where he was sitting at the bar.  
"Mmm I love you, I love you, I love you." She said in between kisses.   
Ronnie just laughed. "Why you love me all of a sudden?"  
Abigayl stuck her tongue out at him. "Not all of a sudden. I've just been gone all day. I missed you."  
"You need to miss me more often then." He replied, kissing her forehead.   
"I always do. Hell, this morning you got up to take Charlie out and I missed you that entire fifteen minutes. Anyways." She said as he lifted her up to wrap her legs around his waist. "How was your day here? Was Julyen good?"  
"Of course he was. He's always good. Had a little problem with Jacky earlier though."   
Abigayl cocked her head to the side. "What kind of problem?"

After the whole thing was out Abigayl frowned as she fidgeted with the feather and music note pendants on the chain around his neck.   
"Ryan wouldn't tell you what was going on? What if something Jacky said was important? Like medically important."   
"I don't know. There's nothing I can do. Ryan's not going to give me anything. And I can't ask J without giving him more info than he needs to hear. Only choice is to move on. Just keep going like we have been." Ronnie replied before setting her back on her feet. "I don't want to focus on what ifs right now."  
Aby nodded and took a hold of his hand. "Then I'll give you a welcome distraction. Come on, I gotta take my stuff upstairs."   
Ronnie didn't protest as he helped her carry stuff up to their bedroom but he was quiet. His altercation with Jacky had really bothered him and Aby didn't blame him. She was dying to know what Jacky had said to Ryan but she knew Ronnie was feeling guilty for putting J in that position. He hadn't meant to though. Maybe she could lift his spirits a little.   
"What all did you buy? Anything for me?" He asked as they headed back downstairs. People were leaving and she wanted to say goodbye. Max and Chelsie had moved into a place of their own there in LA so with Jacky out who knew where they would have the house to themselves for awhile. Well except for Rosa but it was basically the same.   
"You'll just have to wait and see huh?" She teased.   
Once goodbye's were said and hugs were given Abigayl locked the door behind everyone and turned leaning her back against the wood.   
"What are we gonna do with a whole house to ourselves?"   
"I can think of a couple things." He answered giving a her a look that let her know she'd be sore and tired tomorrow.   
"Hmm. I wanna show you something I bought first." She said, taking his hand and starting towards the stairs.   
"Fine. If you insist." He fake whined.

Dragging a couple of bags into the mall sized closet Abigayl pulled clothes out. Why was she so shaky? Why did the thought of putting on something sexy for her husband make her nervous? It wasn't like he hadn't seen her completely naked before.   
With a little difficulty she got into a black corset that was covered in lace then the rest of the outfit along with black stockings with garters. She didn't really feel sexy. Just nervous. After fluffing her hair out a little she pulled on a pair of sweatpants that more than covered the black stilettos and a giant black sweatshirt that hung off her shoulder. It read 'Team Radke' across the front. She knew he'd like that.   
Taking a deep breath she stepped out of the closet. Ronnie sat up from where he'd been laying back on the bed playing on his phone.   
"What do you think?" She said, twisting a piece of hair around her finger.   
"I like that. That's a good team to be on. Can I take your picture?"  
"Um, sure." She answered, putting up the horns and sticking her tongue out as he snapped a picture on his phone.   
"You should just wear that all the time." Ronnie said as he reached for her hand.   
"Are you sure? Because that's not all I bought..." She teased, backing away from him as she slowly slipped the sweatshirt off over her head.   
Ronnie's mouth dropped open and she watched his eyes scan over her. Before she lost her nerve, Abigayl slipped out of the sweatpants and tossed them to the side.   
She heard his quick inhale and figured she either looked okay or awful. Probably the later. About the time she was going to grab her clothes and run for the closet he smiled and reached for her again. Hoping he wouldn't flip on her, Abigayl grabbed the little riding crop from where the it was stuck in her garter belt and smacked it across the back of his hand. Ronnie jerked his hand back and grinned up at her, a strange sparkle in his deep brown eyes. She knew that he was kind of into the darker side of sex but whether he was on the sadistic or masochistic side she wasn't sure. But she'd seen the cuts on his wrists from the handcuffs he and Jacky had and wanted to be a part of that. Truthfully she'd never done anything like that before so that scared her a bit.   
Abigayl watched him curiously as he stood up in front of her and the next thing she knew he'd snatched the crop out of her hand and wrenched her arm behind her back forcing her on to her stomach on the bed.   
"I don't think you want to play this game Aby." He said and she felt him loosen the hooks of her corset.   
She didn't say anything, just held still and tried to keep her breathing steady. As the halves fell away Ronnie ran the leather part of that crop over her exposed skin and she felt a tightness coil low in her body.   
Aby was beginning to think maybe she could handle this when his hand snaked around the front of her throat and squeezed, lightly at first, as he tilted her head back. With her back arched like that she couldn't fight him.   
And he knew it.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 2.7

 

Los Angeles, California   
November 26th

"Baby girl what are you doing awake?"  
Abigayl looked up from her cup of cocoa as Rosa came into the kitchen car keys in her hand. Where was she going at three in the morning?  
"Couldn't sleep. Didn't want to wake Ronnie up flopping around. Where are you going?"  
"Jacky called me. He needs a ride home. Apparently his going out meant going out to get shit faced. I'm gonna go scrape him off the pavement."  
Aby frowned. "Why didn't he call one of us?"  
Rosa gave her a sympathetic look. "He probably doesn't think it's your guy's problem. I'll take care of him sweetie. You can talk to him about it tomorrow. Wait a second. What happened to your wrist?" She asked, reaching across the bar to grab her hand and examine the white bandage she'd wrapped around it.   
"I um, pulled a little too hard against the handcuffs?" She admitted. Rosa lived with them. She was privy to everything that went on so there was no reason not to be honest.   
"Damn, that boy. He promised to keep that crap between him and Jacky. I was sure he'd stopped that all together. He's going to get the tongue lashing of his life when he wakes up."  
Abigayl frowned at Rosa's sudden anger. "Rosa I initiated it. And it was just a pair of handcuffs. No big deal. I know he and Jacky have used them before. No harm done."  
Rosa's eyes narrowed as she studied her face. "Don't do that again Aby. Don't poke the snake with a stick."  
Abigayl scoffed. "You make it sound like Ronnie's got some deep dark secret Rosa. We were just messing around. It's not like he choked me or cut me or anything sick like that."  
"Ask him about the scar on his hip Aby. Then tell me if you want to play that game." She said seriously before grabbing her bag and leaving the room.   
What the hell was she talking about? And why all of a sudden was she terrified?

Half an hour later Rosa helped Jacky into the house and she had been right. He looked like he'd drank the whole damn liquor store. Abigayl took his other arm and helped her get him upstairs and into his bed.   
"Whole freaking house has gone nuts tonight." Rosa said, standing with her hands on her hips and shaking her head.  
As she left the room Abigayl knelt down beside the bed and gently pushed Jacky's hair from his face. For now he was sleeping but he'd be dying in the morning.   
"I love you Jacky. I know you don't remember but I do. So so much. I don't like seeing you do this to yourself. You should have come and talked to us. Tell us what's going on. I miss you so much and I know Ronnie does too. I thought you'd be happier without us but something's wrong." Abigayl shook her head. "You can't hear me so I don't know why I'm even trying." She said, getting off her knees and turning towards the door. Ronnie was standing there, his hip leaned against the doorframe.   
"Rethinking that decision not to push him?" He asked quietly.   
"Does that make me a bad person?"   
Ronnie didn't answer but he gently took her hand and lead her out of the room.   
Once Jacky's door was shut he pulled her against him and Abigayl laid her head against his chest.   
"No, it doesn't make you a bad person. But I agree with what you said. Something is wrong with him and I'm afraid if this is how he's going to deal with it he may be worse off than with us. We should talk to him when he wakes up." He said, his hands lightly rubbing her back.   
Abigayl just nodded and let him hold her. Knowing Rosa had to be mistaken she ran her hand up under his shirt. The uneasy feeling in her stomach spread as her fingertips ran along a jagged scar that started about the middle of his lower back and cut around over his hip disappearing under the waistband of his shorts. How in all the years they'd been together had she not noticed that?   
"Aby what are you doing?" He asked as she withdrew her hand and pulled away from him.   
"How did that happen?"  
He cocked his head to the side and gave her a curious look. "It happened a long time ago. Before I went to prison. Why?"  
She stood strong as she met his gaze. "I want to know what kind of snake I poked a stick at."  
"What the hell are you talk- Rosa tell you to ask? What did she tell you?"  
"She made it sound like I was playing with fire. I told her we weren't doing anything that you and Jacky hadn't..." Abigayl trailed off as he refocused on the ceiling like he was avoiding looking at her. "What? Do you two have some kind of dungeon setup in the basement or something? God Ronnie she made you sound like some twisted sadistic freak. Is that true? How far into this stuff are you? And why? Why if there's more to it why didn't you push me any farther?"  
"Come upstairs with me and I'll answer your questions." Was all he said.  
Abigayl reluctantly followed him to the back staircase and up to the third floor. He sat down on the big white couch but she couldn't sit still so she stayed standing.   
"Do you think I'm weak?" She asked when he didn't offer any information.   
Ronnie looked at her like she was crazy. "No, it has nothing to do with that Aby. You are not weak. I didn't push because I didn't need to. I have a problem okay? You know me, I'm a borderline psychotic control freak. You let me be. You don't fight me. What I just did with you is the farthest I'll ever go with you, and I'd rather not even do that again."  
"But you and Jacky-"  
"Jacky and I only started doing anything because it was the only way I could let him be in control. He and I would fight constantly. Now we can kind of balance it out. But yeah we have taken it further."  
Abigayl felt like an idiot as she finally understood what he was saying. "That's why you and Jacky won't do anything in front of me very often? Why have you never told me about any of this?"  
Ronnie let out a bitter laugh. "That's not exactly something you talk about on a first date Aby. It'd be like 'Hey I really, really like you. Would you mind if I tied you to my bed and poured hot wax on you? I promise you'll enjoy it'. No, I don't think that would have gone over very well."  
Abigayl took a deep breath as she pictured what he described in her head. She'd never even heard of anything like that. Why would someone want to do that? "Where did you even learn how to do this stuff?"  
A smile played at his lips like he was recalling a good memory. She guessed it must have been a very good memory.   
"Before I went to prison, while I was living from house to house wherever I could crash I met this girl, Jacey. She was....she was awesome. She was into the same things I was at the time and we spent a lot of time together high as hell. She worked as a dominatrix in a club there in Vegas."  
Abigayl choked on her own breath as those words came out of his mouth. She probably should have been appalled but mainly she was embarrassed. How stupid must she have looked last night compared to that? It was a surprise he hadn't laughed in her face.   
"She taught me more than I ever wanted to know. We had a good time until one night when we were so drugged up I was completely numb and she cut me with a hot knife." He said, standing up to show her the long scar she'd touched earlier. "Way too deep. Ended up in the hospital with sixty seven stitches. We broke up not long after that when she started messing with some cult crap but anyway, yeah I guess a part of me still is that twisted sadistic freak as you say."  
Aby didn't really know what to say. This was so out of her element it wasn't funny. She sat down rather ungracefully and put her head in her hands.   
"Are you going to get bored with me, if I can't do things like that?" She asked, scrubbing her hands over her face.   
Ronnie put his arms around her, lifting her on to his lap. "I'm never going to get bored with you sweetheart. Trust me. You are the most intoxicating drug I've ever had. Do you see me running around with a bunch of other women? No. For once in my life I only want one. And that one is you." He said, tapping the end of her nose.   
Abigayl felt her face heat up as she leaned in to kiss him.   
"Thank you. I...I love you." She said laying back against him and closing her eyes.   
"I love you too." He replied sleepily. 

 

Not good, not good. Well hello again floor.   
Jacky tried not to laugh at himself as he once again wobbled and ended up on the soft carpet, it hurt his head too much to laugh. Maybe pass out drunk hadn't been his best idea. This time instead of using the wall to get back on his feet he stretched out on the floor and put his hands under his head. He was almost asleep again when he heard footsteps coming around from the stairs.   
"Oh my god, Jacky!" Abigayl exclaimed as she knelt down beside him. "Are you okay?"  
"Shhh little voice Aby. I'm fine. Upright just isn't working for me this morning." He said, patting at her knee.   
"Oh, I'm sorry. Where were you trying to get to?" She asked much quieter this time.   
"Kitchen. I'm starving."  
"Okay, hold on. I can't lift you by myself." She said, standing back up.   
"No, wait Abigayl-" She was already gone.   
With a groan Jacky rolled on to his back and closed his eyes against the sunlight streaming in through the front window.   
A few minutes later Ronnie had him up on his feet again with one arm around his waist the other holding his wrist where it was draped over his neck. As they made their way down the back staircase Ronnie shifted his hand on his hip, fingers trailing over bare skin and Jacky wished like hell Abigayl had left him on the floor. He just prayed his friend couldn't tell that his blood was boiling.   
When they finally made it to the kitchen they helped him sit in the little booth by the back window.   
"What sounds good?" Ronnie asked as he leaned on the table beside him.   
"You guys can go on. I'll find something."  
That rough laugh reached his ears and his heart skipped a beat. What the fucking hell was wrong with him?   
"J, I just all but carried you down here. No way you're making anything and Rosa's still asleep after you had her running out to find you last night. I'm more than capable of cooking something for you."   
Yeah, that was the problem. Jacky just didn't want him to.   
"Don't worry Jacky. You're in good hands." Abigayl teased as she pulled all kinds of stuff out of the cabinet and fridge.   
Jacky let his head fall on to the table.

Half and hour later they had enough food to feed an army laid out on the bar. Abigayl fixed up a plate with a little of everything and set it in front of him.   
"Bon appetit, mon amour." She said slightly squeezing his arm.   
"Merci beaucoup." He unconsciously replied then frowned at himself. What had he just said?   
He looked up in time to see Abigayl and Ronnie exchange a nervous look.   
"What did I just say? And how?"  
Abigayl smiled and continued loading pancakes and fruit on to her plate. "You said thank you. And I taught you some French last summer during Warped."  
"Why don't I remember that?" He asked, panic clawing it's way up his throat.   
"It may be something you just don't remember after your wreck Jacky. It's not a big deal and obviously you'll remember things along the way." She replied, sitting down across from him.   
"Is there anything else I'm not remembering?"  
"Not that we've noticed. I'm sorry J." Ronnie said as he joined them. "If you come across anything else you can ask us though. Anything at all, no matter how weird. "  
Jacky had to laugh. He had no idea just how 'weird' those questions would be.  
"If I think of anything else I'll let you know." He told them, picking up a piece cantaloupe and taking a bite. God that was the best thing he'd ever tasted. "You guys gonna just sit and stare at me or what?"  
They both just flipped him off and for the first time in awhile there was an air of normality between the three of them. Too bad it never lasted.   
"So, you guys planning anything for your birthday Ronnie?"  
He shook his head before stealing a strawberry from Aby's plate. "Nah I thought maybe we could just stay in. I haven't been home for my birthday in a couple years. I say we order takeout and hang out. Watch movies. Just whatever. BUT I have decided I want to celebrate on the 23rd. That way everyone's here. Rosa said she's gonna make a big ass cake. I asked her to make a chocolate cheesecake for you too J. I know how much you love it."  
Aaaaaaand back to awkward.   
"I um, thanks. You didn't have to do that."   
Ronnie shrugged. "No big deal."

After breakfast Jacky managed to take a shower and get cleaned up even though his head was pounding. As he stepped off the stairs in the library he pulled up short hearing Aby and Ronnie talking in the kitchen. Quietly as he could he stood beside the entrance and listened.   
"....what if he does find out? He'll be pissed that we didn't tell him. Maybe we made the wrong decision." Abigayl said and he could hear dishes clanking together as she set them to dry on the counter.  
"It's a little late to change our minds now Aby. We'll just have to deal with the fallout when it happens."  
"Ronnie-"  
"No. I'm not telling him. Please just drop it." He said sternly.   
Before a full on argument started he stepped into the room.   
"Not telling me what?" He said getting their attention.   
"What are you talking about Jacky?" Abigayl asked, one hand on her hip.   
"I just heard you. I feel like you guys are trying to hide something from me like I'm a child. If there's something I need to know I'm already pissed so you don't have to worry about that. Tell me."  
Ronnie just rolled his eyes and turned away from him while Abigayl stood biting her lip. She was probably the one he could crack easier.   
"Aby please. Whatever it is I can handle it, I promise." He said, leaning on the bar across from her.   
"It was supposed to be a secret..."  
"Just tell him. This is stupid." Ronnie said as he dried his hands.   
"We're flying your parents over for Christmas. We wanted it to be a surprise." She finally said.  
Jacky immediately felt like an asshole.   
"I'm sorry Abigayl. I thought you were talking about something else I'd forgot. I swear I didn't mean to ruin your surprise." He said honestly.   
"Maybe you shouldn't eavesdrop on people. Oh well. If you'll excuse me, I have a phone call to make." She said sadly before leaving through the dining room.   
"Abigayl!" He called after her but Ronnie stopped him with a hand on his chest.   
"Let her calm down first."   
"I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean to upset her."   
He just shrugged. "Word of advice? We wouldn't be treating you like a child if you weren't acting like one. What were you thinking last night? Going out and getting that fucked up? Alone at that. You never do that. Why now?"  
Jacky shook his head. "I don't know. I just needed out of my head. Wasn't the right way to do it though."  
"You think? Abigayl needs to calm down before either of us talk to her. Let's go get your car then come back and check on her."  
Jacky didn't argue. Ronnie was right. Shame washed over him as they left the house and he had a feeling it wasn't going away anytime soon.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 2.8

Los Angeles, California   
December 23rd

 

"Ronnie.... Wake up. Baby wake uuuuuup..."  
Slowly opening his eyes he found the reason he was about to have a panic attack. Abigayl was sitting with her knees on either side of him. She wasn't heavy by any means but she was far enough up on his chest that he felt claustrophobic.   
"I'm awake." He said, running his hands up her bare thighs. Man he loved it when she wore his shirts. "Why am I being sat on this morning? Not that I'm not enjoying the view."  
Abigayl giggled and slapped at his hand when he lifted the bottom of her shirt.   
"I wanted to give you your present since you wouldn't let me on your actual birthday." She answered excitedly.  
"What time is it? The sun isn't even up yet."  
Abigayl rolled her eyes. "Just after six. Jacky's parents will be here around eight and Danny and Luna land at seven I wanted to do this before anyone else got here and distracted me."  
How could he say no to her?  
"Alright, alright. Show me what you got."  
With a squeal she leaned over to flick the light on next to the bed. "Close your eyes."  
Ronnie did as she asked and felt her take his hand then slide something on to his finger.  
"Okay, open."  
Opening his eyes, Ronnie looked down at the silver band on his finger. It was very plain with three little symbols carved into the metal. One for Sagittarius in the middle and one for Aquarius on either side. The markings were so subtle you had to look at the ring just right to be able to see them. Abigayl knew he was big into astrology and this was perfect. Even if he didn't remember, Jacky's symbol belonged there with his and Aby's.  
"Abigayl I...Thank you." He said, pulling her down agaisnt him. She relaxed and stretched out beside him. They couldn't go back to sleep but he could at least enjoy a little time with her before their house was overrun.

The doorbell would not stop ringing. How many more people were they going to pack into their home?  
"I'll get it!" Ronnie called out as he opened the front door and was knocked back as Chris and Veronica tackled him. He couldn't even be an ass about it because honestly he'd missed them.  
"Guess you really are a chick magnet huh?" He asked Ian, who walked in right behind them.  
"Just can't turn all this off!" He joked as the door was shut once again.  
"Where's my Jacky?" Chris asked, looking into the living room.  
"Upstairs. He hasn't left his room yet this morning. Even his parents couldn't get him to come down. Apparently he isn't feeling very social today." Ronnie answered, picking Veronica up in a hug.  
Chris frowned, her dark blue hair falling into her equaly blue eyes. "Well maybe I can help. I'm pretty persuasive when I need to be. Is James here yet? He wanted to surprise Aby since she thinks he's going home for Christmas."  
"Nope. Danny and Ben are the only one's here so far. Asking wise anyway. Go talk to J, but be careful, Danny and Luna have been trying to catch everyone under that godforsaken makeshift mistletoe we made last year."  
Chris just laughed. "Good to know the crazy is still in full swing." She said before heading for the stairs.  
"Mistletoe huh?" Veronica said with a smirk. "Now where did Ian run off to?"  
Ronnie shook his head as she wandered away from him.

He found Abigayl in the kitchen with a bunch of polaroid photos laying out on the table. She'd brought out a couple old cameras and she and Becca were running around snapping photos of everyone as they were forced to kiss. It was almost noon now so they had quite a few.  
Ronnie picked up one of Danny, Dahlia, and Luna. The girls had left him out of the kiss so he was pouting in the background. There was one of Ben and Max who had played into it. Max had even put his leg up on Ben's hip. Their family was a bunch of weirdos.  
"Having fun?" He asked, sitting down beside her.  
"Of course I am. I love having everyone here. What about you?"  
He shrugged. "Veronica just got here so my happy level was significantly reduced."  
Abigayl elbowed him in the side. "Stop that. You love her and you know it. Chris go talk to Jacky?"  
"Yes, miss mindreader, she did. I hope she can get him to come down here."  
"Rosa?" Aby asked. "Has Jacky said anything to you the last couple of days?"  
Rosa's eyes were dark when she looked over at them. "I am sorry mon ami, it's been a long time since he's said more than a few words to me. I don't know who he's confiding in but I hope they're trying to help him." She answered, her gold coin earrings chiming as she shook her head.   
"He's been confiding in me." All three of them turned towards the entryway from the library as Ryan was all but shoved into the kitchen by a non too happy Becca.   
"I think it's time we talk."  
"So now you're going to talk?" Ronnie didn't even try to hide the animosity in his voice. Ryan should have come forward long before now.   
Ryan didn't respond as he sat down in the booth across from them.   
"Why now Ry? I thought you couldn't tell us anything." Abigayl asked, her tone much lighter than his.   
"I shouldn't. Jacky will never trust me again but seeing how bad he's got over the last couple of weeks this is for the best."  
Ronnie scoffed at that and Abigayl ran her thumb back and forth over his hand. "I can't even get him to talk to me. He told Abigayl this morning he didn't feel good but wouldn't answer me. He told Maddy and Dom the same thing. His mom is really worried about him."  
Ryan nodded. "I didn't lie, he hasn't remembered anything but he's having dreams. First it was just about the three of you in that cabin in New Orleans. Then about being with Aby at the airport and with you just before Mycah was born. He thinks he's some kind of freak thinking about either of you that way. He's avoiding you, Ronnie, because everytime you touch him he lights up like a firecracker and doesn't know how to deal with it. Trust me, he wants you just as much as you want him."  
"What should I do then?"  
"Easy." Abigayl said confidently. "Get his ass down here. A little help from Danny and we'll fix this problem. We'll let J know it's okay. Just bring him down here, um down the back stairway and come through the living room. I'll let everyone know they need to leave him alone. Ryan will help me?"  
"Of course. You're a genius Aby." He said as they got up from the table.   
"Anyone want to explain to me what's going on?" Ronnie called after them. Neither cared to answer. 

"Jacky if you don't unlock the door I'm going to kick it in and you know I can."  
Ronnie waited a few minutes and about the time he was sure the door was going to get a surprise visit from his foot he heard the latch on the door click. Pushing the door open he found Jacky standing on the other side. He didn't look so much sick as just worn out. His hair was a mess, his eyes dull. He had on a pair of flannel sleep pants and a white T-shirt so big it was hanging off his shoulder. He looked so lost.  
"Hey, why don't you come downstairs with me for a bit?" He said softly.   
Jacky shook his head. "I don't really feel up to it. I'm sorry."  
"It wasn't really a request J. Look, you're mom's freaking out worried about you. Just come down for a few minutes and let everyone know you're not dead. At least eat something. Then you can come back."   
"Promise?" He asked, fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt.   
"Promise. Now let's get you cleaned up so your parents don't think we never let you out. Your hair is... exciting though. You remind me of a porcupine."  
Jacky actually laughed as he pulled clothes out of the closet and handed them to him.   
Once he looked somewhat presentable they walked downstairs together just like Abigayl had said. Through the library where a few people said hello then into the living room. Maddy smiled when she saw them and hugged her son.   
"Oh love, thank you for coming down. I was worried about you."   
"I'm sorry I made you worry." Jacky replied as his dad hugged him too.   
"It's alright. Go on, go let everyone else know you're okay. Luna was about ready to come break the door down but that was before they opened the champagne." Dominic laughed.   
"My parents seem happy to be here. Thank you for doing this for them." Jacky said as they continued through the room.   
"I didn't do it for them Jacky. I did it for you." Ronnie answered. He pulled Jacky to a stop just inside the main hall where Aby had told him to stay. "Seriously, you deserve to be with family during Christmas too."  
"Um excuse me? Boys?" They both looked over at Abigayl who was smiling and pointing over their heads.   
So that was her plan? He thought, looking up at the haphazardly made mistletoe Ryan and Ron had made just to screw with each other. Danny had it tied on to a pool cue, dangling over the railing from the second floor, a stupid grin on his face.   
"I don't think so." Jacky said, putting his hands up.  
"Oh come on J. Two seconds. Everyone's been doing it. You have too." Abigayl said teasingly.   
"Well I'm not going to."  
Ronnie really tried not to laugh, but man was he being defensive. "Jacky it's just a kiss."  
"I don't want to get you sick." He replied sincerely.  
"I'm not worried about it. Come here."

 

Jacky was sure everyone could see his heart about to beat out of his chest as Ronnie slipped his fingers through his belt loops and pulled him close. He was half afraid the damn thing would give out on him, but just like Aby said, there was a brief pressure as their lips met then it was over.  
"Thanks guys." Abigayl said as she and her camera disappeared.  
The moment past, the room broke into motion again. Jacky kept his eyes shut tight and wished that he was back in his room. This had just been another confirmation that his dreams were radically incorrect. What did he think was going to happen? They were going to kiss and there be some big spark between them? Yeah right. But why hadn't Ronnie let him go yet?  
He just about jumped out of his skin as warm breath brushed against his ear followed by the sweet pain of teeth.   
"It's okay you know?" Ronnie whispered as one hand ran up the side of Jacky's throat, the other under the hem of his shirt.   
He had to be dreaming. Maybe this whole thing was a dream and he was asleep in his room.   
"What's- What's okay?"  
"That you don't want me to stop. Come upstairs with me?"   
Those words sent a shot of fire through his veins, a dream wouldn't be so painful. Jacky didn't know what to say as he was lead all the way to the third floor then into his and Aby's bedroom. He had to wake up.   
"Why are we up here?" He finally asked as Ronnie pulled a black trunk out of their closet.   
"Because you and I need to talk. And no I don't care that there are a bunch of people here. Trust me every person down there wants this talk to happen just as much as I do. Come here."   
Jacky wanted to argue but didn't figure it would do any good so he sat up on the edge of their bed, the uneasy feeling in his chest growing.   
"Jacky, you know you can tell me anything right? Literally anything." Ronnie asked, sitting down beside him, way too close for comfort.  
"Uh. yeah. I guess." He replied. trying to move further from him without falling off the bed.  
"Then why didn't you tell me about those dreams you keep having?"  
He choked as those words reached his ears. Fucking Ryan. "I um, didn't want you to know. I thought you'd get mad. I don't know how to make them stop, but I swear Ronnie, I'd never act on any of it. I'm happy that you have Aby and I'd never do anything to hurt that. I can move out too if that would help. Just please don't kick me out of the band. I can't take-"  
"Jacks stop!" He said with a laugh. "I'm not kicking you out and you're not moving out. I'm only mad because you didn't tell me. We could have sorted this out the second it started. I'm sorry that you felt like you couldn't tell me."   
He was apologizing? Seriously?   
Jacky flinched as he was pulled against a solid body, strong arms holding him close. He felt stupid. Like a child. Like a freak. What the fuck, was he actually crying? Dammit!   
"It's alright J. I promise. I'm gonna make everything okay."   
A good twenty minutes passed before he took a deep breath but Ronnie still didn't push him away and Jacky froze when he felt feather light kisses along his throat. He should have pulled away. Hell he should have run for the hills and never come back. Instead he turned into those kisses and when their lips met again it was no quick, two second kiss. As they explored each other Ronnie rolled him on to his back and Jacky didn't fight. What was the point? This is what he'd wanted right?   
"Wait, wait. Stop!" He said suddenly, surprising both of them. He couldn't do this. Not to his best friend and not to Abigayl. "Why are you doing this?"  
Ronnie frowned, giving him a confused look, then just sighed and sat back from him. "I'm sorry J. I just...I want you to remember. I thought this would help and obviously it's not." He said, running his hands over his face.   
"Remember what?"  
"Us. Jacky I need to show you something. You may not understand any of it but I'm tired of not pushing you. Fuck what the doctor says."   
Curious, Jacky crawled to the edge of the bed to see what Ronnie was pulling out of the trunk. First was a huge black scrapbook.   
"Abigayl made this, from the first day she was on tour with us up until she left at the end of March this year. Here, see what you remember from this." He said, putting the big book on the bed between them. "There are a lot of holes, little things you don't remember. I'm just going to hit on the big parts. Okay...here, this one. Do you remember us bunch of dumbasses running around that hotel?"   
Jacky studied the photo of Ben, James, Ronnie, and himself outside of a hotel. They all looked about ready to pass out but were still laughing like crazy. He did remember that day, but nothing after they'd fallen asleep.  
"What happened that night? That's a complete blank to me." He asked, looking through the few pictures from the rest of that day.   
"We watched movies and ate pizza and I um, I kissed you."  
"You did what? Why?"  
He just shrugged. "You wouldn't shut up. I still don't have a reason for that but it happened again later that evening. Abigayl coaxed us into it. I guess that was the first time the three of us had any kind of contact like that. There were a few other incidents but the day you found out Court was engaged to Ashley was when it really started. She was skyping with Ash in her bunk, you came and crawled into bed with us. It just fell into place."  
Jacky kept quiet as Ronnie slipped through more pages. Could this really be true? Could this be why he was having dreams of them?   
"Wait." He said, putting his hand on Ronnie's arm. His heart was pounding like thunder as he ran his fingers over a photo that had caught his eye. It was of Aby sat on the side of one of the stages they played at Warped. She looked gorgeous with her hair catching in the breeze and she wore a baggy white shirt and shorts. She had her hand resting over her stomach where it looked like she had swallowed a watermelon.   
"Aby was pregnant?" He asked quietly.   
"Yeah, we found out when the tour went to Canada. We went to visit Liza and get these done." Ronnie answered, pointing to the black tattooed bands around his finger. Jacky looked down at his own, just one band.   
"It's for Abigayl. I gave you this." A black ring was slid on to his finger and Jacky could have sworn he remembered wearing if before.   
"We couldn't get married so we figured this was the next best thing. Anyway, that's when we found out about the baby."  
Jacky tried to swallow past the lump in his throat as he stared at the picture. If what Ronnie was saying was true then this could have been his baby too.   
"Mycah..." He whispered just before a splitting pain threatened to blow his skull apart.  
"Jacky? What's wrong?"  
He couldn't even answer. He just pressed his hands to his head and tried to breathe as everything went black. 

He wasn't sure how long he'd been out, all Jacky could focus on was the pain in his head. He could still feel his heartbeat in his head even though it was slowly dissipating. Ronnie was talking to him. He could hear it but his voice was warbled like it was moving through water. Slowly he opened his eyes and tried to focus.   
"J? Are you okay? Can you hear me?"  
Jacky nodded and tried to sit up then decided it wasn't worth it. "Bad headache I guess. It's going away though."  
Ronnie gave him a worried look and bit his lip. "Maybe we should stop. I don't want this to actually hurt you."  
He shook his head. "I don't remember being with you two but I remember my son's name? That means it's all stuck in my head somewhere. Keep going. Tell me everything. I'll tell you when it's too much."

 

"Dahlia? Can I talk to you for a minute?"  
The woman's gray eyes smiled down at her. "Of course honey."  
"What's up?" She asked when they were alone in the game room.   
"I know this is selfish, but is there anything you can do to help Jacky? He's having dreams like they're memories. So that makes me think maybe he still has memories of us and just can't get to them? Is that even possible?"   
Dahlia gave her a sympathetic smile and put her hand against Aby's cheek. For whatever reason that small touch seemed to spread warmth through her body letting her relax.   
"I haven't brough this up to Ronnie because there is always a possibility that things could go terribly wrong and Jacky could end up worse. He could forget everything. And something like this takes a lot of power. I would need Luna's help. Every person involved needs to be aware of the risk and agree."  
Abigayl felt hope swell in her chest until she saw the look on Dahlia's face. She didn't want to do this.   
"What kind of chance are we looking at?"  
"Realistically? Like ten percent that it'll work and Jacky will remember everything. Twenty percent he looses even more memories and a seventy percent chance we give him enough brain damage he won't be able to function. I'm sorry Abigayl. I truly am. But there isn't anything we can do." She said honestly.   
"It's okay. I would never do anything that could potentially hurt him. I just..."  
Abigayl could feel tears building up behind her eyes as Dahlia hugged her tight. "I know baby, I know. Just don't give up hope okay? It may not turn out exactly how you want but maybe you'll be surprised by the outcome."  
Aby hated it when Dahlia and Luna got all cryptic like that but one thing was for sure. She wasn't going to give up on Jacky.   
"Thank you Dahlia. I um, I'm going to go check on the boys. They've been upstairs for quite awhile."  
"You're right. They have. Go on, I'll make sure everything is taken care of down here."

With a heavy heart Abigayl opened the door to the master bedroom expecting Ronnie and Jacky to be there. It was empty. Where had they gone?   
Frustrated, she blew out a heavy breath. Someone was talking. She could hear it but not very well over the sound of running water.   
Running water?   
Abigayl quietly pushed the door open. She could hear them laughing about something.   
"Guys? What are you doing in here?"   
They got quiet, then another bout of laughter.   
"Abigayl come here!" Jacky said as he peeked around the corner of the shower.   
"You're insane. I'm not coming in there."  
"Just to here. I wanna tell you something."  
Abigayl rolled her eyes and stepped into the marble shower. She was so not going around that corner.   
"Okay, I'm here. What do you-"  
Aby let out a squeal as she was dragged around the corner and into the spray of hot water. Her first instinct was to be pissed but then Jacky was kissing her, his wet hands traveling up her thighs, under the now soaked dark blue dress she'd worn for the party. They parted just long enough for Ronnie to lift her dress over her head then she was back up against the wall. Just like in the airport, she thought, but the marble was too slick this wasn't going to work.   
J must have known that too as he lifted her and she felt Ronnie's hands slide under her legs where they were around Jacky's waist. Abigayl leaned back, turning her head to kiss him. Then the two of them were kissing over her shoulder, leaving her breathless as Jacky buried himself deep inside her. She clenched her teeth as she climaxed but kept her eyes open. She wanted to see them. To remember this. The two men she loved more than anything were with her and that was all she needed.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 2.9

December 31st  
Los Angeles, California 

 

This was it. New Years Eve.   
Finally the rollercoaster was over.   
The past year had definitely not been a good one. It had started like shit and continued to get worse up until Halloween but then Jacky's accident had put a damper on things. But things were ending on a positive note.   
They had spent the last week or so since his birthday party filling Jacky in on everything that had happened over the last few years, filling in the gaps that he couldn't remember.   
Ronnie had to admit he was impressed by how J just took everything in stride. He had actually asked him why it was so easy for him to believe what they were telling him. Jacky told him the memories may not be there but the emotions were. He knew he loved them just not why. So none of the fragments he was missing really shocked him.   
He glanced next to him where Jacky was pouring powdered sugar into a bowl. He was humming something to himself. How Rosa had talked them into helping her Ronnie still wasn't sure, but it turned out to be less boring than he thought. And Jacky seemed to enjoy it.   
The last part of the bag came out way too fast and the powdered sugar acted like a mushroom cloud completely covering the both of them. Jacky looked at him like he was waiting to be chastised but all Ronnie could do was laugh.   
"What are you laugh- You two should never be allowed in a kitchen." Rosa said, shaking her head.   
"Yeah but Rosa look." He said, ruffling Jacky's hair sending sugar falling to the floor. "We made it snow."  
"I don't know why I even try." She replied, rolling her eyes before going back to helping Abigayl decorate a giant chocolate cake.   
"Pour some sugar on me!" Jacky sang loudly, trying not to laugh.   
Abigayl obviously couldn't handle being mature either. "In the name of love!" She sang before Ronnie joined in with her. "He's hot, sticky sweet. From his head to his feet!"   
Jacky bowed and they both cracked up laughing.   
He'd missed this so much. Just being able to be goofy with them. This was how they were. Nobody outside of their family ever really got to see moments like this and honestly Ronnie was okay with that.   
After he was finished putting everything Rosa had listed in a bowl Jacky licked his finger. "I am sweet." He said with a shrug.   
Ronnie scoffed then leaned down to lick the sugar from his lips. "Sticky and sweet." He replied, kissing him again, deeper this time.   
"Boys! Take it upstairs. Go get cleaned up. People are gonna start showing up soon.   
"I'm busy."   
"Excuse me? I thought we had an agreement about sex in my kitchen?"   
Ronnie honest to god jumped as Rosa smacked him on the ass with a spatula. Jacky and Abigayl just about died laughing but seriously that hurt!   
"Fine, yeah we did. I'm going. Don't hit me with that thing again." He said backing away from her. 

Abigayl was ten kinds of excited as the doorbell started ringing like crazy. It was fun to watch her bounce around like that. She had on that white dress with their band logo on it with her hair in a long side ponytail that swished around when she walked. Jacky wasn't too keen on it but he and Aby loved having the house full of people. Maybe it was just the thought of a family. Jacky had had that. They really hadn't.   
Danny and Luna were the first to arrive. No surprise there. It was funny that he'd become so close to the two of them when before their tour together he and Danny had only spoken a handful of times. And Luna, it was impossible not to love her. Before long all of Asking with Kia, Andy, CC, Ash, and Jeff had shown up which got the alcohol going. Krista, Chris, and Veronica had stayed with them so they didn't have far to go and Ian had stayed with Owen. The rest of his own band showed up and then Dahlia....with Alex.   
Abigayl didn't seem surprised at all when she opened the front door for them and hugged them both. Ronnie on the other hand was about to have a heart attack.   
"You guys came together...?" He asked rather rudely, even to his own ears.   
Dahlia blushed and reached for Alex's hand. "Yeah um, we've been meaning to tell you sweetie. Alex and I are-" No no no no. Fuck no. "Just fucking with you!" She yelled as they both started laughing.   
"You are such a bitch sometimes! Dahlia seriously? That's not funny at all." Ronnie told her.   
Dahlia put her arms around his waist hugging his tight. "I'm sorry honey. I just couldn't help myself. No we just showed up at the same time."  
"Just friends man. Just friends." Alex reassured him as he kissed Aby's cheek.   
"Yeah yeah." He said as the two of them walked off to the living room, leaving him with Dahlia. "Seriously though that wasn't funny. I had to deal with the him and Aby thing. I don't need to go through that again."  
Dahlia stepped away from him, her gray eyes sad. "I wouldn't ever do that Ronnie. We really are just friends. So while you have a minute how are things going with Jacky?"  
"Much better. He's settled in so quickly it's almost like nothing ever happened. But to be honest I feel like I'm holding my breath. Like I'm just waiting for the next bad thing to happen. Why can't we just be happy, Dahlia? Why my family? It's like I'm cursed."  
Dahlia smiled. "You were much much younger last time you asked me that. Like sitting on my lap young. And I'll tell you the same thing I told you then. Neither you nor your family are cursed. You have strong shoulders so the world is going to give you more to carry, but no more than you can handle. That's why you have to hold on to the good moments, no matter how hard it is. Don't let them pass by without being thankful. Okay?"  
He just nodded, feeling like the child she was remembering all over again.   
"Hey, everything okay out here?" Ronnie turned away from Dahlia as he felt Jacky's hand on his back.   
"All good." Dahlia answered giving J a hug. "I'm gonna go find Luna. You boys have fun."   
"What about you? You looked like someone had kicked your puppy when I walked out here."   
Ronnie shook his head. "I'm fine. Dahlia tried to give me a heart attack but I'll live. Don't give me that look. I promise I'm okay."   
Jacky said something but Ronnie was too busy focused on the sound of a car coming up the drive to really pay attention. That had to be his parents.   
"J I think your mom and dad are here."   
Jacky's eyes lit up as he pulled him out the front door on to the big porch.   
Maddy hugged them both so tight Ronnie thought his ribs would crack. Dominic just shook his head as he got their bags out of the back of the rental car. They had been out sightseeing between the holidays.  
"Hey baby." Maddy said, pulling Jacky into her arms. "Aby told me you've been going through pictures and things from the time you lost. How is that going?"  
Jacky shrugged. "It's going good. A lot to take in. Mum, can you tell me about Nikolai?"  
Maddy's face fell. "Yeah, if you want I can do that."  
"I would very much like for you to. Come on let's get you guys settled in. Ronnie?"  
"Uh, I'll be right behind you. Someone else is coming through the gate. Go ahead." He said watching headlights swing through the trees that surrounded the house. Who else could be here? 

Oh this was going to be interesting, Ronnie thought to himself as he watched his dad get out of the nondescript green car. He had always been invited to their holiday parties but had always declined. So why this time?  
"By the look on your face I'm going to guess you didn't know I was coming." He said, his voice rough. That's where Ronnie had got his voice from. Although his dad claimed he couldn't sing.   
Ronnie really wasn't sure how to answer as Lee approached him, small suitcase in hand. He hadn't seen his dad in years but he hadn't really changed. Still looked like that badass biker. Which he was. Kind of. He lead a christian bike group back in Kansas.   
"I um, no. I didn't know you were coming. You never come to these things. I didn't even call and invite you this year. Figured it was a waste of time." He replied honestly.   
"Well your wife that you failed to mention called and invited me. Figured I'd come find out how high society is living out here on the coast. Why didn't you tell me you got married?"   
Ronnie scoffed at that and sat down on the top step. "High society huh? Fake it till you make it right?"  
His father's eyes narrowed. "Difference between them and you is you know what it's like not to have all this. You appreciate what you have now."  
"I guess that's true. So how are things back home? Kids doing okay?" He asked, both curious and eager to change the topic.   
Lee shrugged. "Things are good. Much better than last time you visited. We moved. Bigger house. Janine (Ronnie's sister in law) still doesn't want me and May (his wife) to help much but we make it work."   
That made him smile. He'd always liked Jenine. She was headstrong and independent. She had been good for his brother and she was a good mom which was another gold star in her column. "That's good to hear. I knew she'd be okay. It just took her a bit but you really can't blame her."  
"No you can't. I'm proud of her. Proud of you too. Look at this house! You must be doing well. You look much happier than last time I saw you and your wife is calling me? Tell me about her."  
Ronnie leaned back against the giant column beside the staircase. "Abigayl isn't my wife."  
His dad raised a brow at him. "You dating another crazy one?"  
Ronnie had to laugh. Couldn't say his dad didn't know him. "No, I mean yeah but she's a good kind of crazy. I've never met anyone like her. We've been together for the better part of two and half years now with a few rough spots thrown in. Aby's amazing. You'll like her."  
"Then why is she still just your girlfriend?"  
"Because it's a little more complicated than that. Why don't we go inside? I'll introduce you to my family." He said standing up and offering him a hand.

"Abigayl!? Someone find my girlfriend!" Ronnie called out, sticking his head into the living room.   
He waited with his dad in the main hall until Abigayl walked into the room, her arm around Jacky's waist. This was going to be awkward.   
Jacky stopped dead in his tracks and stepped away from her. "Sir it's good to see you again." He said and offered his hand.   
"Good to see you too Jacky. Good to know you're still around. Last time I saw you I wasn't aware you even knew how to speak." His dad teased and Jacky laughed. "And who's this little lady?"  
"Dad this is Abigayl Tylers."   
Aby did a weird kind of courtsy and giggled, her long white hair falling over her shoulder. She must have broke into the champagne already.   
"Lee Radke." He said, holding out his hand. Abigayl shook it with a smile. Ronnie could tell his dad was trying to be a hardass but it wasn't working.   
"So you're Aby?"  
"I am. I'm the one that called you. I'm so glad you decided to come. Everyone's just hanging out for now until dinner is ready. Come on, I'll introduce you." Abigayl said as she looped her arm through his and lead him into the living room.   
That was their little fireball. No fear.   
"Aby invited your dad? How do you feel about that?" Jacky asked, when they were gone.   
"I'm happy to see him but I wish she had told me. I'm not sure how he's going to get along with Dahlia and Aby told him she was my wife. And he doesn't know about you. I could have at least given him a heads up."  
Jacky offered him a smile and squeezed his hand then dragged him into the other room. 

 

He could not eat anymore. He'd explode.   
Jacky sat back in his chair and watched everyone else at the long wooden table. They were all laughing and trading stories. This was the beginning of a hopeful new year. He was ready.   
Ronnie's dad still hadn't put two and two together about them but honestly Jacky was okay with that. He knew how that would go over. Lead balloon.   
Feeling fingers intertwine with his Jacky looked over at Aby and smiled. He gave her hand a squeeze and she went back to the conversation. Surprisingly Lee and Dahlia weren't at each others throats. He had even apologized and thanked her for taking care of his son when he hadn't been able to. Dahlia had gladly accepted the apology and moved on. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes until he felt a hand lightly rest on his thigh. Ronnie just smiled at him and went back to talking with Veronica. Jacky couldn't focus on what anyone was saying as those fingers glided so innocently along his leg. Ronnie got a little too close to home and his entire body shivered. Before this went any further Jacky put a hand over his and held it tight.   
"Something wrong?" Ronnie teased, leaning down to his ear.   
"You know what's wrong. Don't start that here." He whispered.   
"I'm sorry, I just can't keep my hands off you. "  
Jacky rolled his eyes. "Well you're going to have to for awhile. Later I won't stop you."   
"Promise?" Ronnie all but purred against his ear.   
"I promise."  
"You two done whispering like a bunch of little girls over there?"  
They both looked up as Dahlia called across the table.   
"Can't you see I'm busy?" Ronnie smarted back at her.   
Dahlia just grinned. "Luna brought some movies with her, we're gonna head downstairs for some relax time before it gets late. When you're done trying to lick J's tonsils why don't you come join us?" She said, getting up from the table.   
Jacky saw the frown on Lee's face as people started getting up and heading for the basement. This was so not gonna be pretty. 

While the three of them finished helping Rosa clean up from dinner Jacky could feel Ronnie's dad glaring at them. How long could they avoid this?   
"Rosa? Why don't you head downstairs? We'll finish here."   
Rosa frowned at Ronnie's request and looked between him and his father before leaving the kitchen. Abigayl continued helping him put things back in the cabinets.   
"So what exactly is going on here? Why did what Dahlia said not sound like a joke? What exactly makes your relationship with her complicated?" Lee asked, motioning to Aby.   
"Because it wasn't really a joke. Aby is my girlfriend but Jacky's with us too."  
Jacky held his breath and waited for the fallout. Lee moved to stand in front of him, arms crossed over his broad chest just like Ronnie when he was thinking hard on something. Jacky just looked up into those dark brown eyes that were so familiar to him and tried not to pass out. Confrontation was not his thing.   
"Breathe son. I ain't gonna hurt you."  
He did as he was told and let out a long breath.   
"You really love my son?"  
Jacky looked past those broad shoulders to Ronnie. He was looking down at the floor, dark hair falling across his face. He was twisting the ring on his finger around in circles. Now he knew how Ronnie had felt meeting his parents. It was scary. But the question had an easy answer.   
"Yes, sir. I do." He answered without looking away. Ronnie lifted his head, a smile curving those perfect lips.   
"Then there's only one thing left to do. Abigayl, come here a second sweetheart."  
Lee put one hand on each of their shoulders. "My son is very lucky to have you both. I can tell already. Welcome to the family." He said, pulling them in for a hug.   
"Does this make me a Radke now?" Abigayl asked with a giggle.   
Ronnie put an arm around her waist and pulled her into his side. "You always have been shorty. We could get your name changed though."  
She smiled, all white teeth and bright green eyes. "I think I'd like to do that. And I am not short!"  
Jacky had to laugh at that. He could still put his chin on her head. Hell she didn't even come up to Ronnie's shoulder.   
"Then what are you love?" He asked taking her other hand.   
"I'm fun sized!" She said, chin raised defiantly.   
"We'll have to see just how fun you are later." Ronnie teased her, nuzzling her hair.   
"And that's the sign that I don't need to hear anymore of this. How do I get downstairs?" Lee asked, covering his eyes with his hand. 

Abigayl snored like a freight train.   
Jacky laughed when he found her all curled up on Ash's lap sound asleep. She'd been so wound up all day he was surprised she'd made it this long and they still had four hours till midnight.   
"Do you want me to take her?"  
Ashley shook his head. "She's fine. Let her sleep for awhile."  
"Okay, thanks. I'm gonna go upstairs for a minute. I'll be back."   
Luna shushed him from across the sea of pillows and blankets then turned back to the movie. They were watching the Hobbit which he didn't mind but if he sat any longer he'd no doubt be passed out just like Aby.   
Ash waved him off and Jacky headed up the steps, taking them two at a time trying to wake himself up. Everything was so quite with everyone being downstairs that he stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. Their house hadn't been empty since before Christmas, and while he loved having his friends and family here Jacky welcomed the moment of solitude.   
He walked lazily though the dining room where Cloud wound between his feet then through the kitchen, stopping to look outside in the library. All the curtains were open to the inky night sky. He could almost feel that cool breeze against his skin and it made him smile. Continuing through the living room he found Ronnie sitting on the coffee table, one leg pulled up to his chest, chin resting on his knee as he focused on some war game. Jacky couldn't have guessed which one it was. Something must have gone his way though as he smiled to himself and Jacky swore the room was suddenly brighter.   
"So this is where you ran off to." Jacky stated, walking up to the back of the couch. "Guess we know where Aby got her aversion to chairs from."   
The game paused and Ronnie turned to him with a smile. "I just needed to get away for awhile. Too many people for too long."   
"That's why I came up. Do you want me to go?" Jacky asked, moving to leave the room.   
"Come here." Was all he said, and Jacky found himself crossing the carpet to stand in front of him.   
Ronnie closed his eyes, long lashes fluttering as he ran his hands up either side of Jacky's legs, up to rest on his hips, fingers resting just under the hem of his shirt. Jacky moved even closer as his hands slid around to the small of his back and he laid his head against his stomach. They were silent for a moment, Jacky ran his fingers through his hair and held him close feeling like he needed to comfort him but not sure why.   
"Hey, are you okay? What's wrong?" He asked cautiously.   
A gravely 'I'm fine' was all he got in return. Yeah he so wasn't buying that.   
Jacky slowly knelt down in front of him, forcing Ronnie to let him go.   
"Come on. Tell me what's wrong." He coaxed quietly.   
"I'm just tired J. Really." He answered, his normally bright brown eyes were dull.   
Jacky frowned. He'd moved into Ronnie and Abigayl's room last week and he and Aby had both started worrying when Ronnie never came to bed before it was almost dawn.   
"Would it help you sleep if I moved back to the other room?"  
Ronnie's head snapped up like he'd shocked him. "No! Jacky please don't do that. That would only make it worse. I swear it's not you."  
"How many hours have you actually slept in the last week?"   
He shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe ten."  
Ten hours in seven days? How long could someone live like that? Obviously not very.  
"Why? Why don't you just come to bed?"   
"Because I can't sleep anyway. I might as well be up doing something productive. I've been writing. Can't guarantee any of its good though." Ronnie answered with a strange laugh.   
"What's keeping you awake? Seriously, Aby and I have been worrying about you."   
Another shrug. "Nightmares I guess. Everytime I try to sleep I see you or Abigayl leaving again. Always leaving. I'm always alone. No matter how much I beg. I'm constantly on the edge of that cliff just waiting for someone to push me over. It makes it difficult to sleep." He said flatly.   
Jacky didn't know what to say. He could tell him that he and Aby weren't going anywhere until he was blue in the face. That wouldn't do any good. He knew that firsthand.   
"Okay.....okay this is what we're going to do then. There's still quite a bit of time before the ball drops. You and me are gonna go upstairs and you're gonna sleep. I'll keep the nightmares away." He said twirling Ronnie's hair around his finger.   
"How?"  
Jacky scoffed. "Just once in your life let someone else be your rock to lean on. Just trust me. Come on. Come with me." 

After sending off a quick text to Ash telling him what they were doing, Jacky looked over to see Ronnie staring at a picture he'd picked up from Abigayl's desk. They had told him it was from his birthday party. He remembered the party but not taking that picture. He and Aby had kissed him just as the flash went off. Jacky hated pictures of himself smiling but that one he didn't mind so much.   
Slowly, he took the frame from Ronnie's hands and sat it back on the desk. He was in such a daze he barely even registered the movement. After helping him out of his clothes Jacky pulled his own shirt over his head and dropped it to the floor before crawling into bed behind him. Chest to back he pressed himself as close as he could, pulling the silky sheets over them both before tangling their fingers together.   
It took a few minutes but Ronnie finally relaxed in his arms and ran his hand up and down Jacky's arm.   
"It's alright. I promise. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here when you wake up." He whispered, nuzzling into the back of his neck and kissing along the bare skin of his shoulder.   
".....love you Jacks."

Jacky lost track of the amount of times Ronnie would half wake up in a panic and grab for him. He really hadn't been kidding about the nightmares, they seemed terrible, but everytime J just talked to him and before long he'd calm back down and drift off to sleep again.   
Around eleven the party started downstairs.   
Sometime in the following hour he rolled over, lips pressed against Jacky's throat, sound asleep.   
The countdown started, everyone chanting along with the New Years ball falling in Time Square, then a thunderous roar of celebration.   
The new year was here. And they were together. In their home. Ronnie slept peacefully and Abigayl was surely dancing as music blared through the house. And Jacky? He was just happy to be a part of it all.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 2.10

Los Angeles, California  
January 3rd

 

"Humming Black Sabbath this early in the morning?"  
Abigayl smiled as she came down the front stairs to the second floor. Lee was just coming out of the bedroom he was staying in. After everyone had gone home yesterday they had convinced Ronnie's father to stay a couple more days.   
"There is never an inappropriate time for good music." She said with a laugh.   
"Touche. Good morning by the way." He said following her towards the stairs.   
"To you too. I was wondering if you would want to join me for breakfast. I know a little cafe not far from here. I just...Ronnie doesn't talk about his past much and I thought maybe you could tell me more?"  
Lee frowned and touched her arm making her pause. "I don't know how much you want to know but I would love to take you."  
"Sweet. Sounds like a plan." She said as they reached the first floor.   
Abigayl could hear explosions coming from the living room so she figured the boys were watching a movie. That's what they usually did when they woke up before her, worked out then watched TV. She couldn't help but smile as she walked into the living room. Both boys were cuddled up in the giant black popason chair, Jacky with his legs up over Ronnie's lap, a carton of ice cream resting between them. Aby watched for a moment as they mimicked the movie, that she now realized was Avatar, then laughed at each other. Jacky laid his head back on his shoulder and they were silent again.   
"Never thought I'd see that." Lee mused, standing beside her. "I've never seen him look at anyone like he does you and Jacky. I'm so happy for him."  
Aby felt her heart swell at his words. Ronnie had told her about his father being into drugs before and going to rehab and getting clean. He seemed to her a lot like his son. Stubborn but had a big heart.   
"I'm going to go outside for a smoke." Lee said, giving her arm a light squeeze. 

"Morning Aby." Jacky said, waving his spoon at her as she sat on the couch next to the chair.   
"Morning. Ice cream for breakfast?"   
Ronnie nodded but didn't look away from the TV. He loved this movie. "Jacky benched 75 over his last max. We're celebrating."  
Jacky smiled and rolled his sleeve up, flexing his arm. He was definitely toning up. "That's our excuse and we're sticking to it!"  
Abigayl rolled her eyes. "So you're joining the meat head club too huh?"  
Ronnie scoffed. "You just keep telling yourself you don't like it Aby. Next time you want carried somewhere I'll remember that comment."  
Yeeeeah he had a point. She had absolutely no qualms about running her hands all over that muscle. Made her feel kind of out of shape though. Abigayl held up her arm and flexed it......nothing.   
"Think I could lift the bar?"   
Both of them looked over at her and started laughing. Aby flipped them off and tried to fake anger.   
"Hey! That's not funny. Maybe I'll start using the gym too. You won't laugh anymore when I can lift you!"  
That only succeeded in making them laugh harder.   
"Nah, we like you just the way you are. You're our little ego boost." Jacky teased.   
"Whatever. Anyway, I'm taking your dad out for breakfast. Gonna see if I can get him to pop the top on your past. I wanna know all the gritty details." She said, standing back up.   
Ronnie sobered quickly and frowned. "What more do you need to know? All the bad stuff's already on the internet."  
"I didn't say I was looking for bad things. You two enjoy your date with Ben and Jerry. We'll be back in a little while."  
"Don't hurt my dad! Jacky stop tha....." Abigayl shook her head as she walked out of hearing range.   
It didn't take her long to get ready then she went out back to find Lee. 

Half an hour later they sat on the patio of one of her favorite cafes enjoying the sunshine. You had to love California in the winter.   
"I'm not really sure what you're looking to find out Aby." Lee started after they'd ordered. "There really isn't anything you don't already know. I was not a good father figure, for either of the boys. And unfortunately by the time I sobered up both of them had followed in my path, one with alcohol the other with....everything. Ronnie definitely was the worse of the two. But before all that there isn't much to tell. Because of my habits money wasn't something we had. Honestly I don't know how either of them even stayed alive. Michael was a little more reckless. He went to live with some family in Kansas when he was about fourteen though. Ronnie bore the brunt of things. Hell I didn't even know where he was most of the time. Thank God for Dahlia. He was a good kid though. For what I put him through he was a damn good kid. It wasn't until he dropped out of high school that he started going downhill. The rest after that is history."  
Abigayl felt sadness wash over her. What would Ronnie have been like if he'd had a supportive family?   
"He's still good. He just hides it." She whispered, more to herself then to him.   
"Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I think it's temporary. He's got a good heart, but it can only be stomped on so many times before it starts to wear down. He loves you and Jacky and I think you guys are both his greatest strength and weakness. You have the power to hurt him more than anyone. Don't tap broken glass Abigayl."  
Sitting back in her chair, Abigayl crossed her arms over her chest. "We have tapped that glass quite a bit in the last couple years." She mused.  
"Tell me about it. How did you guys meet?"   
Aby frowned at the question. He was Ronnie's dad, how did he not know anything about his life?   
After the waitress set down their plates Abigayl told Lee about everything. Every tap of the glass.   
When she was done Lee shook his head. "Sounds like you guys deserve a few years of happy after all that. I'm impressed that none of you have just given up."  
Aby laughed. "Trust me, there have been times when we've wanted to. I have to ask you though, and excuse my rudeness but it's not like your son is just your run of the mill nine to fiver. So how is it that you don't know anything about his life?"  
Lee sat back, a sad look on his face. "Because I choose not to. I don't look for any information that he doesn't give me. I can see your wheels turning. Abigayl you have to understand, Ronnie dropped out of school at fourteen. I have no idea where he went. All I had was a note saying he wasn't coming back. I moved to Kansas a couple years later with Michael and got my act together. I didn't know where he was until I heard about the manhunt on the news. By then it was too late. We didn't see each other again until he was twenty six. I am so proud of him for everything he's accomplished but I know damn well I had nothing to do with that. I'm not going to brag about my kid I didn't even raise. So I just stay out of it until he tells me. I was actually surprised he wanted me to stay a few extra days."  
Abigayl understood. What he was saying made since. At least he wasn't one of those parents trying to take credit for their kids success.   
"That was actually all Ronnie's idea. He isn't good at reaching out to people. But he talks about you a lot. When I asked he said he had forgiven you and knows what you went through since he did the same. All the bad stuff that happened when he was little, he knew that wasn't you. I think he would really like it if you came around more. If it was okay with you I wouldn't mind coming to Kansas and visit. I've never really been there."  
Lee laughed. "Not much to see there but you are always welcome at our house. My wife, May, likes having company. She's a lot like you, only older obviously. Very spunky. She puts me in my place constantly. We'd love to have you."'  
"Then I'll put that in the plans."  
He smiled. "Good. So what's in LA that I should see before I go home?"  
Aby grinned and clapped her hands together. "Let me give you the tour!"

 

"So Aby's showing your dad around town. How do you feel about that? What are you doing?"  
Ronnie looked up from the papers scattered across the dining room table as Jacky walked into the room.   
He'd obviously just got out of the shower, his light brown hair wet against a white T-shirt that wasn't quite long enough, showing just enough skin above the low slung blue jeans to make his mouth water.   
"I um, I'm filling out some papers from Epitaph. Release for the next tour."  
Jacky smiled and pushed the papers back, sitting up on the table in front of him. "You didn't answer my question. And where are we going?"  
Ronnie moved his chair away from the table and looked up into those big blue eyes. How did he do that? Manage to look so damn innocent all the time.  
"I'm happy she is out with my dad. Honestly I'm glad he's here too. I don't hate him, if that's what you're wondering. No, we're not close but at least we are working on it. That's all there is to it J. In answer to your other question, how do you feel about koalas?"  
If it was possible Jacky's eyes lit up even more. "We're going to Australia? For real?"  
He couldn't help but smile at his excitment. "Yeah baby we're going to Australia. That's what the papers are for. We'll be at Soundwave next month."  
Jacky moved so quick, slipping off the table onto his lap, arms around his neck. Ronnie put his arms around him, letting his fingers trail along the bare skin of his back. Jacky arched into him, a small wimper escaping his lips, the sound ricocheting down his spine making him hard as a rock. No way was Jacky not gonna notice that.  
He tried inconspicuously to shift so Jacky wasn't so far up on his lap but only succeeded in creating more blood boiling friction. He felt J laugh agaisnt his throat before he took Ronnie's hand, placing it against his stomach. At Jacky's little sounds of approval, he trailed his fingers down over the front of his jeans. Apparently he wasn't the only one turned on.   
"We can't do this here."  
Jacky cocked his head to the side. "Why not? Aby's out with your dad and Rosa is staying with Julyen at Brent's until later. We have the house to ourselves for awhile."  
"You make a good argument." He replied, picking Jacky up and setting him up on the table.  
"Not like you need much convincing."   
"That's true." Ronnie answered as he pulled him down for a kiss.  
Jacky tugged on his bottom lip, hands running up the back of his shirt, only breaking away from each other long enough to pull it over his head. He pulled J's off, their lips meeting again, devouring one another. Ronnie's hands couldn't move fast enough unbuttoning his jeans and Jacky raised himself up so he could pull them off before his legs were wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer. Jacky's head fell back and he kissed along his throat, his nips would probably leave marks but neither of them really cared anymore.   
"Lean back." He said gruffly, and Jacky complied, bracing his arms behind him giving him more room. Ronnie felt the flush of Jacky's skin against his lips as he continued a path down his chest then tracing the V of his hips with his tongue.   
"You're killing me." Jacky ground out between clenched teeth. Just how much control did he have?   
He waited until Jacky looked up again, meeting his gaze, before licking up the middle of his palm and running his hand slowly along his length, softly at first then increasing pressure with each stroke. Jacky swallowed hard, every muscle in his body straining.   
"Jacky...baby give me your hand."   
J slid his hand into Ronnie's without question. With a smile he laced their fingers together.  
"Where do you want me?"   
He hesitated for only a moment before his hand replaced Ronnie's. He loved watching Jacky pleasure himself. He and Aby both. It was the hottest thing he'd ever watched.   
Jacky leaned back up, tangling his fingers in Ronnie's hair. "Not your hand." He whispered, kissing him briefly.  
The taste of green apple invaded his senses as Jacky pulled away but kept his hands in his hair.   
J watched, his eyes hazy, as he lowered his head, flicking his tongue teasingly over the tip of his dick.   
"Holy Fuck!"  
Jacky's hands tightened in his hair, pulling a little harder than he'd have liked as his hips lifted off the table. Taking a deep breath he tried not to panic as Jacky thrust deeper into his throat. At his hiss of approval, Ronnie applied a little more pressure, grazing him with his teeth.   
It didn't take long and Jacky's muscles were contracting so hard it had to have hurt. Ronnie gripped his hips, holding him in place as his entire body jerked and hot, sticky jets hit the back of this throat. He gave him one last long lick and J laid back on the table, his back arching off the hard wood.   
Ronnie couldn't help but smile as he watched Jacky ride out his high and float back down into reality. After a few minutes he laughed, letting his arms fall out to the sides. "I don't think I can lift my head."   
"You don't have to." Ronnie answered, crawling up on to the table to straddle his hips.   
"Kiss me?"   
"As you wish."   
Jacky smiled as he kissed him long and hard, feeling out every part of him.   
A phone rang out, Pitbull's 'Timber' blaring from his pocket.   
Ronnie cursed. "That's Abigayl."  
"Answer it."   
"Fine." He sat up, pulling the phone from his pocket and putting it to his ear. "Hey sweetie what's up?"  
"Why's your voice sound funny? What are you doing?" She asked hurriedly.   
"You don't want to know. Where are you?"  
"Um, down on the beach." Aby answered. She seemed distracted. "Do you want to meet us at Rickers in about an hour?"  
"Sure, yeah we can do that. We'll be there." He answered while Jacky gave him a curious look.   
"Alright, see you in a bit."   
"So....I guess we'll have to shelve this for later?" Jacky asked sounding disappointed.   
"For now. Come on, let's get cleaned up. Going to Rickers." He replied, climbing off the table. 

 

Instead of going through the front of the restaurant, they walked down to the beach then up the spiral staircase that lead to the top floor where Abigayl would be. The scent of seafood mixed in with the ocean breeze and Jacky laughed as the monster in his stomach woke up. Man he was starving.   
Abigayl was sitting with Lee and Damyen on the built in bench that wrapped around the perimeter of the deck, some kind of purple drink in her hand.   
"You lot are late!" She called out when she saw them.   
Ronnie sat down beside her, pushing her hair back to kiss the bare skin of her shoulder. "We were busy. Not like you didn't have company."  
Abigayl elbowed him in the ribs. "Don't be a smart ass. Jacky!"   
As he sat up on one of the picnic tables across from them Abigayl hugged him. Jacky pulled her up onto the table beside him.   
"What were you guys doing at the house?" She asked, stirring the purple concoction with a straw.   
"Isn't it obvious?" Damyen interjected.   
Jacky flinched as Damyen pushed his hair back so he could see the little bite marks Ronnie had left along his neck.   
"Shut up D." Ronnie said as Jacky slapped his hand away. "You seemed distracted on the phone earlier Aby. You okay?"  
Abigayl looked away from them, chewing on her lip ring. "Yeah, I um, saw the announcement about Soundwave this morning. I called and talked to Troy. Has he said anything to you?"  
They both shook their heads.   
"Oh. Well I told him this morning not to book an extra flight for me. I'm not going on this one."  
"Excuse me? Why the hell not?" Ronnie asked when she didn't say any more.   
"Because I have a previous engagement. Black Veil Brides is doing a two week European tour the last two weeks of February. Jesse can't go with them so I offered to be their merch girl. I was going to tell you as soon as they got the okay for me to go. They did this morning. So you and Jacky go and we'll be back home about the same time."  
Ronnie didn't look like he was on board with that idea any more than Jacky was. He liked the guys from Black Veil, considered them family, but letting Aby go alone for two weeks with Andy just didn't sound like a good idea. Just when he was about to argue Ronnie spoke up, but not how he expected.   
"I guess if that's what you want to do then we'll make it work...."

As the conversation turned to other topics and lunch was served, Jacky tried not to be angry. He really did. But why hadn't Ronnie said anything? Why was he so willing to just let her go?   
"Jacky? J?!"  
Jacky turned to look at Abigayl. She had a worried frown on her face.   
"Baby you okay? You just kind of spaced out."  
Jacky nodded maybe a little too quickly. "Yeah, sorry."  
"Okay well are you ready to go?" She asked softly.   
"Actually you guys go ahead. I'm gonna hang out here a little while longer if Damyen's okay with it."  
Damyen shrugged. "You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like."  
At the others questioning looks he just smiled. "Just need some alone time after having everyone at the house for so long. I'll be home in a little while." He reassured them.   
Abigayl gave him a quick kiss and handed him the keys to the CTS-V then turned away with Ronnie and Lee leaving him alone with Damyen.   
"So why exactly are you hanging here?" Damyen asked once the others were gone.   
"I just didn't feel like going home right now." He replied, laying his head on the railing, watching the ocean roll in and out over and over   
"You're upset about Aby wanting to go to Europe instead of with you guys?"   
Jacky tried to think of an answer as Damyen sat down beside him.   
"It's not so much that she doesn't want to go with us. It's more who she's going with. And the fact that Ronnie doesn't even seem to care. He's just going to let her go off with them. Andy likes her. I know he does. Giving him two weeks alone with her just doesn't sound like a good idea."   
Damyen reached out, brushing the back of his hand along Jacky's jawline. "Andy is a good guy J. I don't think he'd try anything. Besides Aby is a smart girl. He's nothing compared to you. Maybe Ronnie isn't worried because he knows how much Abigayl loves you both. He trusts her sweetie and I think you should too. Don't let this eat at you. She'll be fine. Go with your boy down under."  
Jacky scoffed. "We went there this morning."   
Damyen looked confused for a moment then started laughing. "So that's why you were late! Oh come on, details. I need details!"  
Jacky couldn't help but smile. Damyen was about the only one on the planet that he was willing to talk about this kind of stuff with.   
"Okay okay! I'll tell you. But first more of whatever this is!" He said, handing his glass to him. Whatever that purple stuff was, it made his head spin happy.   
"It's just long island iced tea with grape juice. Abigayl loves these. I'll be right back. And yes, I'll take you home later. Ya light weight." Damyen winked at him before disappearing downstairs.   
This was good. Talking to Damyen had helped him put things in perspective. He was right. That had to be why Ronnie hadn't protested against her plan. This would be okay. He'd just let it go and they would have an amazing trip. All three of them.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 2.11

February 20th   
London, England

 

"You're here with Black Veil Brides?"  
Abigayl looked up from a text she'd sent to Becca to see a woman about her age walking up to her, a plastic tub in her arms. She was pretty, a little taller than Aby with natural long blond hair that curled against her pixie like face. Bright sapphire blue eyes smiled at her. She wore red skinny jeans and a black Attila hoodie.   
"Uh yeah, I'm doing merch for them." She responded, holding her hand out to the woman after she'd sat down the tub.   
She shook her hand. "Looks like we'll be neighbors then. I'm working for Attila. My names Kimmy Michaels. It's nice to meet you."  
Why did that name sound so familiar?   
"Oh! You're Kimmy! CC talked about you the whole flight here. He was excited to see you again apparently."   
Kimmy's cheeks turned pink and she looked away. "He remembers me? I met him at Warped a couple years ago. But we only talked for a few minutes. I figured he'd forget as soon I walked away. He really talked about me?" She said, glancing up at her.  
"Did he ever. Non-stop. You must have made quite an impression on him Kimmy. I'll text him and let him know you're here."  
Kimmy's eyes went wide as Aby pulled her phone from her pocket. "Don't worry. This will make his day."  
"What will make who's day?"  
Abigayl shook her head as Andy approached them. "Don't worry about it. You guys going to press?"  
Andy nodded, putting his arm around her shoulders. "Yeah little sparrow we're heading over to do an interview at a place down the street from here. You be okay on your own?"  
Aby rolled her eyes. "I'll be fine. Despite what Ronnie said before we left I don't actually need a babysitter. I don't like not being able to call them."  
He gave her a sympathetic look. "You'll be able to later tonight I think. Don't worry your pretty little head. See you in a while."  
Abigayl shook her head as he walked away from them. Sure, tonight. Why didn't that make her feel any better? Two weeks was going to be hell barely being able to talk to her boys.  
"I take it you don't know Andy?" Abigayl asked Kimmy as she began unpacking boxes of shirts.   
"No, I only met CC. By the way, I never got your name."  
"Oh, Abigayl Ty- Radke. Nice to officially meet you."  
A lot had changed in the last month. Including her last name. Ronnie had even gone to his lawyer and had everything put into their names just in case something happened to him. Honestly it had scared her a little. The relationship between the three of them finally felt solid. It felt real. Like they were physically bound to one another now. And this was the strongest she herself had felt in a long time.   
Kimmy's mouth fell open. "Are you Ronnie's sister?"  
Abigayl choked on a laugh. This was far too good of an opportunity. Kimmy didn't know her. Why not have a little fun with it?  
"Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, I just overheard you say the name. That's the only other Radke I've ever heard of." Kimmy said when Abigayl didn't answer right away.  
"No, but I do know who you are talking about. I was on the same tour as Falling in Reverse last year doing merch for Breathe Carolina. I would sure as hell love to get my hands on that man though." She replied with a wink.  
Kimmy laughed, opening another box. "I know what you mean. I've never actually met him but I definitely wouldn't mind. I hear he wouldn't be interested in us though. I'm not very up to date on anything not involving Attila since Chris is my cousin but last I heard Ronnie was dating his guitarist. Vincent....Jacky I think is his name? So I think our chances are pretty slim with that one. It figures, the really hot ones are always playing for the wrong team." She said with an over exaggerated sigh.  
Abigayl shook her head and held up her hand, showing the other woman the pink diamond on her finger. "Actually Kimmy this one happens to play for both teams. And every day I wake up next to him I am so damn thankful for that."  
"What do you- Holy shit! You little liar! You're married to Ronnie? How have I not heard about that? I guess the rumors aren't true then. Damn, I was hoping to get a glimpse of that someday." Kimmy fanned herself with a clipboard as she talked.  
"You might still. The rumors are very true. Technically no, I'm not married to him. He and I AND Jacky are together."  
She stopped what she was doing, turning to give her a look that basically said 'what the hell' and Abigayl thought she was going to have a fight on her hands.  
"You lucky bitch. Seriously how does one girl get that lucky?"  
"If I knew the secret, I would tell you. But trust me it's not all fun and games. They are both in Australia right now. It's not easy just letting them go."  
Kimmy smiled and went back to hanging shirts on her board. "I can't imagaine. But I still say you're lucky. Having two people that care about you like that. It must be nice."  
Abigayl nodded. "It is. I have a feeling that you have someone that would like to care about you that way." She said as her phone went off.  
It was a text from CC.

CC: She's here!?!?! I gotta put pants on. U better not be fucking with me Sparrow. I'll gut u.  
Aby: I'm not fucking with you C. She's running merch for Attila still. So she'll be on the whole tour. Put your damn clothes on, get out here, and knock this girl off her feet.  
CC: o.O with wat?  
Aby: Don't be a dick.  
CC: Ok ok i'm coming

While they waited for CC, Abigayl and Kimmy chatted about tours and places they would like to visit. It wasn't long before they were talking like old friends.   
"Well, all set up." Abigayl said, putting her hands on her hips. "CC is on his way to see you. I'm gonna step outside for a minute."  
Kimmy gave her a smile as she fixed her hair for the millionth time. It was cute to see her all nervous like that. Abigayl remembered the first date she had been on with Ronnie. She had been so nervous that seeing he was too had actually calmed her down.   
Aby checked the time on her phone once she was back out by the buses. It was almost four in the afternoon. The boys were in Brisbane so it was two in the morning there. She wanted to talk to them so badly. The venue Black Veil was playing tonight had Wi-Fi so she could at least message the people there with them. She felt disconnected though.   
If she could just get through today then it would get easier right?   
Coffee. She needed coffee.   
A couple blocks away from the venue she found a little cafe that smelled like heaven. After ordering a mint cocoa latte she took up residence in a corner booth by the window. She'd be able to see the boys walking back from their interview from there. Using the code the barista had given her, Abigayl connected to the Wi-Fi and logged into the joint private YouTube account they'd all made to share videos with one another. A new one had been posted labeled 'Danny Cam'. Putting her headphones in she pressed play.  
The video was blurry for a second as the lens focused on the corridor of an airport. Danny turned the camera towards himself and waved before pointing it back ahead of him. Jacky turned around and gave it a thumbs up.  
"What are you filming?" J said quietly.   
"Just us landing. Your first time on Australian soil. Hows it feel boys?"  
Jacky kept walking backwards but laced his fingers through Ronnie's. "It's amazing. I'm super excited about this. What about you Danny? You guys have done this before. Any advice mate?"  
"The women dude. The girls are fucking hot here."  
Jacky rolled his eyes. "I think I'll let you handle them. I've got what I need." He answered and turned back around, Ronnie's arm around his waist.   
Abigayl smiled to herself as the video went black. She didn't need to worry about them. Before she'd come back, she probably would have been a little apprehensive but not now. They were far closer.  
After watching a couple of the older videos from before they all got on the plane and the flight to Australia, Abigayl saw Andy and Ash walking back to the venue. Picking up her bag she left the little cafe to catch up with them.   
"Running off by yourself already?" Ashley asked, looping his arm through hers.   
"Psh, I got no where to run to. Have a good interview?"   
Andy shrugged, taking her other arm. "Kind of boring but short. Not too terrible. Ash and I are gonna start getting ready for the show soon. You wanna come help?"  
Abigayl let out an exasperated breath, pretending to be annoyed. "Yeah I guess I can help."

The first European show. And it was a slammer.   
The crowd had been insane and everything had gone on without a hitch. Abigayl rubbed her hands on her jeans as the last case was put into the trailer. CC had been more than willing to help put things away since it got him closer to Kimmy.   
"Are you guys done yet? I need to steel Aby for a minute." Andy asked, looking around the back of the trailer.   
CC cocked his head and frowned at him. "What do you need Aby for?"  
"None of your business. Aby?"  
Abigayl rolled her eyes and let Andy take her hand. She followed him through the bus to the back room where they sat down on the black couch.  
"Okay, what's going on Andy?" She asked as she uncharacteristically fidgeted with his phone.  
"I need some advice and unfortunately you have experience with this kind of thing." He answered, handing her the phone.   
It was open to a text from Juliet. Apparently after all this time she still hadn't let go and seemed to be begging for Andy's forgiveness.   
"Alright Andy I need you to tell me the whole story about what happened between you and Juliet."

 

Okay so maybe Soundwave had been a little intimidating, Jacky thought to himself as he looked at the set list for their first Sidewave show with Escape the Fate. Sure it was smaller than Groezrock but it had felt different. At least Ronnie hadn't decided to fall off the stage here.   
Recalling that memory made him laugh.   
"What are you laughing about?" Ronnie asked sleepily from where he was curled up on the couch beside him.   
After only a couple hours of sleep he had insisted on getting up when Jacky had. Now he was dozing off again though.   
"Thinking about you falling off the stage at Groezrock last year."  
Ronnie didn't open his eyes but Jacky caught his quick smile. "Like a ninja. A very ungraceful ninja."  
Jacky smiled and reached out to lay his hand on Ronnie's hip. 

"Jacky, please tell me you've been up for hours and you don't just wake up looking that good."  
He frowned as Becca walked into the front area of the bus. "I've been up for an hour or so."  
Becca rolled her eyes, sitting down across from him. She wasn't tiny by any means but Ryan's hoodie swallowed her.   
"He wakes up looking that good every morning. That's what Aby and I haven to compete with." Ronnie added, as he pushed himself on to his feet.   
Funny, Jacky always thought they looked better in mornings.   
"That's just not fair." She replied, twirling a piece of hair around her finger.   
"You're telling me." Ronnie teased, stretching up to put his hands on the ceiling. Fucking tall people. Even Becca was taller than him.   
"You two must be blind. You actually gonna stay awake now?" Jacky asked only to receive the bird.   
"I have an interview as soon as we get to the venue. Figured I'd go ahead and get ready. Got about twenty minutes."  
Jacky frowned. "I thought you decided no press at the side shows?"  
Ronnie shrugged. "I guess this is one of Court's friends. She asked me to do it. Wanna come with me?"  
"As long as I don't have to answer anything. I'll just watch."   
Becca laughed. "Have you two spent more than an hour apart since New Years?"  
Jacky shook his head. "Not really. We really have no reason to though. I guess we're just extremely codependent."  
"Nothing wrong with that. Right Becca?" Ryan said as he came into the room.   
"Not that I can tell." She answered when he leaned down to kiss her.   
Now that Jacky took a few seconds to think about it, he and Ronnie hadn't really spent any time apart lately and honestly that's exactly how he wanted it to be. 

Courtney's friend, Tasha, turned out to be really nice but unfortunately for her, shy too. Ronnie was going to torture the poor girl, Jacky could already see him plotting.   
About five minutes into the interview he had Tasha so nervous she was wringing her hands and jumbling up her words.   
"Okay, stop the video." Jacky said from he was standing behind the camera.   
Ronnie gave him a curious look but Tasha seemed grateful.   
"What are you doing J?"  
"Tasha can you give us a moment?" He asked and she nodded.   
"I'm gonna pop inside, back in a minute."  
"Thanks love. Now you." Jacky said turning back to Ronnie. "You've had your fun. When she comes back I want you to apologize for being such an ass and give her a decent interview. You've got her so uncomfortable she's about ready to bolt. You want to deal with Court when that happens?"  
Ronnie scoffed. "I was just messing with her."  
"I know, but you gotta stop. Okay? Before all of Australia thinks you're a huge dick." Jacky teased, diffusing the tension between them.   
"Alright, fine. Because I love you I'll be nice to the girl." He replied, leaning down to kiss him.   
"You're all wound up today. Just be good."  
"You wind me up. And you have no idea how hard it is for me to do that."  
Jacky laughed and pulled away from him as Tasha returned and went back behind the camera.   
"Ready to keep rolling?" She asked rather unenthusiastically.   
Ronnie shook his head. "No, actually Tasha my conscience spoke up and I wanted to apologize for how this has gone. Could we start over?"  
Tasha's mouth opened then closed again. Jacky had to stop himself from laughing. Ronnie had legitimately rendered her speechless.   
"I um, yeah we can do that. Thank you, and thank you to your conscience too." She said with a smirk.   
As she started the camera again Ronnie mouthed an 'I love you' to him.   
"I know." He replied quietly. 

Once they were past all the basic bullshitting that came with every interview Tasha seemed to relax and actually enjoy herself. By the end they were both laughing so much Jacky was beginning to worry about them.   
"Forgive me if I'm wrong but it doesn't seem like you do this very often." Jacky asked as they helped her carry her bags to her bright yellow jeep.   
"I don't." She answered bluntly. "I only started doing interviews about a month ago. All local bands. Then Soundwave was announced and Court said I should do you-"  
Tasha stopped, her eyes going wide. She knew she'd just stepped in deep shit. "That is so not what I meant!"  
"See Jacky? I'm rubbing off on her already!" Ronnie teased, playfully pushing her shoulder.  
Tasha turned to him, a serious expression on her face. "Jacky please tell me he's not contagious?"   
"Unfortunately yes, and we haven't found a cure yet either." He answered solemnly. 

"Becca where did you get that?"  
Jacky looked up from a video on his phone as Derek snatched a magazine out of her hands.   
"Aby's got five or six of these. I'd never read this one so I stole a copy. Why? What's the big deal?" She asked, uncurling from her blanket cocoon on the couch.   
Derek shook his head as he thumbed through the pages. Jacky still couldn't see what the magazine was, but he was curious now too.   
"Ah! Here it is. See this was the very first time Jacky was ever mentioned in print. AP was describing us I guess. They dug J's AFI tats but read this."  
Becca took the magazine back from him and read over the paragraph Derek pointed to. The way she was holding in a laugh worried him.   
"They make you sound like a character that crawled out of an Anne Rice novel J. Pale, slim, and androgynous.... Ha! Well they weren't lying!" She laughed, tossing the old AP to him.   
Man, he'd forgotten all about this.   
"Oh come on Becca. I may be scrawny but I think I'm far from androgynous."  
Both Derek and Becca burst out laughing again.   
"What's so funny?"  
"You J." Ronnie replied from where he'd been hunting through cabinets and drawers for a bag of butterscotch candies they'd hid from him last night. "You ever look in a mirror? You'd be surprised how many people still think we have a female guitarist. In the writer's defense though at the time you did somewhat resemble a little emo chick."  
Jacky was sure the other two were about to pass out as hard as they were laughing.   
"I do not, nor did I ever resemble a chick Ronnie." He replied, glaring at his back.   
"Whatever you gotta tell yourself baby."  
Jacky shrugged and handed the magazine back to Becca. "Tease all you want. I'm not the thirty year old man tearing apart our bus for candy."  
Ronnie turned on him, all the humor gone from his expression. "A man has needs Jacky."

Watching Ronnie and Craig perform together would never be something he was used to. There for awhile it had seemed like the two of them had truly set aside the past and became friends. Then last year during thr Bury the Hatchet tour their true colors had surfaced. They would never be good. Right now they were faking a friendship for the fans. Jacky didn't really agree with that but it had stopped a lot of the social network bickering between rivaling fans so he supposed it was worth it. Still every time they got on stage Jacky waited for that moment when things blew up. Only two more shows to get through though. He prayed tonight wasn't THAT night. And what do you know, he got lucky.   
Jacky hummed to himself as he clicked the clasps on his guitar case and moved to help Ryan.   
"Dude I'm helping. Not doing this for you." He teased as Ryan looked past him, a frown making his eyes dark.   
"What's up with the chick?" Ryan asked, ignoring his comment.   
Confused, Jacky turned around to see what he was talking about.   
Ronnie was standing off the side of the stage with a woman he'd never seen before. She was taller with long brown hair. She looked a lot like his ex, and immediately put Jacky on edge. He couldn't hear what they were saying but she was smiling and doing everything in her power to touch him. He loved Ronnie more than anything but this part of him Jacky hated. This was the ego driven asshole, and it seemed like this woman knew just to what to say. Ronnie was letting her get that close because she was saying all those pretty little things he loved to hear.   
"Who is that?" Ryan asked, breaking him out of his haze. "I have no idea, but I'm gonna find out."  
Ryan tried to stop him but Jacky brushed him off as he walked up to them. The woman gave him a 'who the hell do you think you are' look that he really wanted to bitch slap off her face.   
"Hey Ronnie?"  
Jacky saw the smile fade from his face and his jaw clenched. "What?" He snapped.   
Jacky tried not to react.   
"Can I talk to you for-"  
"Isn't there anyone else you could bother for once?"   
He should have been pissed, hurt, stunned, something, but nothing happened. Jacky marveled for a moment at the foreign sense of calm that washed over him.   
"Yeah, of course. Sorry." He muttered, turning on his heel and going back to Ryan.   
"What happened?"   
Jacky shook his head. "Nothing. I'm gonna take my case out to the bus."   
Whatever Ryan said he couldn't hear it over the roar of silence in his head. Picking up his guitar he headed out the back door.   
The wind outside had cooled off a little bit but still tore at his clothes as he made his way to the bus. Maybe he was just in shock? No, that wasn't it. More like he was completely unshocked. That's what the problem was. He'd expected Ronnie to act that way and that realization had landed on him like a cartoon piano. How many times had Ronnie treated him like this that he didn't remember? Why had he stayed with him? For that matter why had Abigayl stayed with him? Neither of them deserved to be treated like that.   
By the time he had everything put in the bus and had helped Ryan, it was still a half an hour till bus call. Jacky plugged his phone in and crawled into his bunk. He didn't want to share a bunk with Ronnie tonight. He just wanted to fall asleep before he came back. 

 

Man, he was tired. Flat out exhausted.   
Not even bothering to change clothes, Ronnie crawled up into his bunk. He could feel the bus moving as he switched the light off.   
Something was missing.   
Jacky. Where was Jacky?  
Pulling the curtain back he looked across the aisle to the bunk where he and J had been storing their stuff in since they shared a bunk. The curtain was closed now. Maybe Jacky just wanted to sleep alone tonight?  
Climbing out of his bunk he crawled in with Jacky who was already asleep. Hoping he wouldn’t wake up, Ronnie buried his face into J’s hair and wrapped an arm around his waist. Jacky sighed and laced their fingers together. He may have wanted to sleep alone but Ronnie knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep without Jacky. He’d watched a few of the videos Abigayl and the other bands had posted the last couple of days before the show but it hadn’t alleviated any of the pain of missing her. He was thankful to know that she was okay though. Safe.  
Tomorrow was their second Soundwave show and surprising they didn’t have any press scheduled so he planned to spend some time with Jacky watching the other bands. It was kind of ironic considering that they spent almost every minute of every day together, but honestly he never got tired of being with Jacky. He only hoped that feeling was a two way street.

Waking up alone sucked. And boy did he need a shower. Slipping out of the bunk, Ronnie twisted his shirt back around the right way and went out to the front room. Jacky was clipping his laminate on to his belt. Ronnie slipped his arms around his waist.  
“Good morning.”  
“If you say so. I’ll be back before the set later.” Jacky said quietly, grabbing his phone and going for the door.  
That was weird.  
“Wait. Jacky, are you okay?”  
There was no emotion in those blue eyes when they looked up at him.   
“Yeah, I’m just doing what you said. Finding someone else to bother. I’m not your problem anymore. Enjoy your day Ronnie.”  
He couldn’t have been more stunned had Jacky slapped him across the face. What the fuck was he talking about? Not his problem anymore? What the hell was that supposed to mean?

After a few hours of searching the festivals grounds for the rest of his band, Ronnie gave up and headed back to the bus. As he reached for the door, it opened into him.  
“Oh, did I hit you?” Becca asked hurriedly.  
He shook his head. “No, I’m fine. Hey do you have a second? I need- I need to talk to someone.”  
Becca gave him a sympathetic look. “I want to say no, but I know how hard that is for you to admit. Come in where it’s cool, you’ve got five minutes.”  
Was everyone pissed at him today?  
“I’m assuming this has something to do with Jacky, but I really can’t understand why there’s a reason to talk about it. The whole situation is pretty cut and dry.” Becca said, leaning her hip against the counter.  
“That’s the thing though. I have no idea why he or anyone else is so upset with me. We were perfectly fine until this morning.”  
Becca scoffed. “Perfectly fine my ass. Seriously Ronnie, do you actually believe that after what you said to him?”  
“I don’t know what I said!” He snapped.  
She narrowed her eyes on him. “That woman had you so wound around her finger you don’t even remember telling Jacky he should go bother someone else?"  
"Becca that's insane. I would never say that to Jacky, or anyone else for that matter." He replied.   
"Multiple people heard you Ronnie. It doesn't surprise me that you don't remember. You never do. You and I are close, I know you're a good person deep down but sometimes I wonder. The things your ego leads you to say.... You and Jacky weren't together during the Bury the Hatchet tour or I guarantee this would have happened a lot sooner. Dude you treated every person on that tour like shit. The girls talking to you, the fans, any person telling you how much better you were than Craig. You turned into the biggest narcissistic asshole I've ever met. And Ben is my family! I didn't hear her but I'd bet my left arm that's exactly what the chick last night was doing. I told Troy I thought doing these side shows with Escape the Fate would be a bad idea. He thought so too but couldn't really do anything about it. You seriously have a problem and now Jacky's done with you. He's not even mad, he's just done. Ronnie I love you but you are so stuck on yourself sometimes that you make loving you hard." She finished and didn't even give him time to respond before leaving him alone on the bus.   
If all that was true then he seriously needed to take a look at his life. And he needed to change it before he hurt anyone else.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 2.12

March 7th   
Los Angeles, California

 

Back on the plane.  
Ronnie let out a sigh of relief as the pilot announced they were entering their final descent into LAX. Usually he would be stoked to get home and have a little time to relax but now with Soundwave being over all he had to go home to was an empty house. He and Jacky hadn't spoke since their weird morning exchange. Ryan had been the one to tell him Jacky planned to crash at their place until he could find an apartment. That had stung but for once Ronnie understood why he was leaving and wasn't going to argue. Not yet anyway. Abigayl wouldn't be home for another four days so it gave him some time to work on his own plans.  
"Okay, so you know I don't like to pry into your personal life but this time I feel like I need to. I don't know what's going on with you and Jacky but I know you haven't been talking. I also know that you have been making a shit ton of hide off in the corner phone calls this past week. So you wanna tell me what's doing or should I just assume it's illegal and keep my nose out of it?"  
In the following silence, Ronnie weighed his options. For one he was ashamed but honestly Troy deserved to know what was going on.  
"No, I'm not doing anything illegal. Becca and I sat down the other day and talked. I realized I wasn't as...put together as I thought I was. The way I treated Jacky last week was awful. That's why all the phone calls. I was looking for- Fuck. I was looking for somebody I could talk to. I found a therapist. I'm supposed to go talk to him tomorrow . I didn't think there was any reason to apologize to Jacky unless I could prove to him that I was actually trying to do something about it. I have to fix myself. Then maybe he'll at least be willing to talk to me. But no one else knows. Please just keep this between us for now."  
Troy nodded and squeezed his arm. "For the record, I'm proud of you, but you gotta promise me something. Promise me that you'll do this for you, not Jacky. Becuase if you go through with this and then things don't go how you want with him I don't want you falling back off the deep end."  
"That's not going to happen. Primarily this is for me. I kinda wish there was someplace Aby could go too. To get away from me during all this. If I treated Jacky like that I probably have her too. I don't want her there for me to take my aggression out on." He admitted.   
"Don't push her away just yet Ronnie. You may need her there more than you think. And knowing Abigayl I doubt you'd get her to leave anyway."

The twenty minute drive from the airport to his home seemed to take years but once the Escalade was parked in front of the big white house Ronnie couldn't make himself get out. He didn't want to go into an empty home. No one would be there, happy that he made it home safe. He didn't want to unpack and see all of Jacky's things gone. So he stayed put.   
Enough time went past that he began to feel stupid. He had to face this sooner or later.   
By the time he made it to the third floor, Ronnie checked his watch. 8 o'clock. Still early but he was exhausted. It seemed to him that he'd spent the last two weeks tired. After setting his bags by the closet door he sat on the edge of their bed to kick off his boots. Small arms encircled his waist, a warm body pressed to his back. He had to be dreaming.   
"I'm so happy you're finally home." Abigayl's voice purred against his ear.   
"What are you doing here?" He asked, turning to pull her into his lap.   
"Long story short Andy and Juliet got back together. I explained to her what you told me in your emails. She agreed to fly over and help with the last few shows so I could be here when you came home. I didn't want you to come home to an empty house." She replied, kissing along his jawline.   
And he'd thought about pushing her away? Abigayl had thought about him above everything else. He could not possibly love her anymore than he did at that moment.   
Tightening his arms around her, he nuzzled into the hollow of her throat and just held her. There was nothing he could say that compared to how thankful he was for her.   
"Baby are you alright?" She asked, her voice strained with how tight he held her.   
"Yeah, I'm-" He was not gonna cry. Nope. He was not gonna....fuck.   
As his tears slid down the side of her neck Abigayl stayed silent and held on to him, running comforting fingers through his hair. After awhile Ronnie realized she was singing to him, quietly but the lilting sound of her voice was soothing.   
"Don't you dare look out your window, darling, Everything's on fire.   
The war outside our door keeps raging on.   
Hold on to this lullaby.   
Even when music's gone.   
Gone.   
Just close your eyes.   
The sun is going down.   
You'll be alright.   
No one can hurt you now.   
Come morning light.   
You and I'll be safe and sound." She sang just loud enough for him to hear.   
Turning to lay Aby on her back, he curled up against her staying as close as possible. He was probably crushing her but she didn't complain.   
"We'll be okay you know? Troy called me before you got home. He told me about the therapist. I'm happy you're going but I'm going to be here the whole time. We've been through too much for me to let you do this alone. We'll be just fine. Whatever Jacky decides later, you and I will be fine. I've got you okay?"  
"I love you. Thank you for being here." He said, kissing the side of her neck.   
"I love you too. Why don't you try to get some rest. Big day tomorrow."  
Ronnie thought about that for a moment. Was he really going to do this? Sit down with someone and pour out all the....ick inside his head? The thought of it made his skin crawl. "Abigayl?" He said, pushing up on his elbow to look down at her. The curve of her lashes in the moonlight made his heart flutter. "I uh, I don't want you to come with me tomorrow. You can come get me but I want to go in alone."  
She smiled, her thumb tracing over his lips. "Not a problem. I understand. You just call me when you're done and I'll come get you. Then you can tell me about it or not over a plate full of shrimp. Sound good?"  
"Sounds perfect. Abigayl you are perfect. I don't know why you continue to put up with me."   
"Because I love you." She answered easily.   
And there it was. The answer to the question bouncing around in his skull. Jacky was done putting up with him. Done loving him.   
"Don't think like that." Aby whispered, pulling him back down to lay with her. "He does love you. It's all fight or flight sweetie. I fight. Jacky leaves. It's not for good. You'll see." 

March 8th

Dr. James Klein.   
Half an hour into the session Ronnie still didn't know what to think of him. He was average height, average build, black hair peppered with gray. But it was his eyes that drew Ronnie's attention. The look coming from those dark blue eyes didn't match the easygoing temperament. They were hard and intelligent, almost military like, but for some reason that comforted him. Ronnie found it easy to talk to this man. And Dr. Klein didn't sugar coat anything. Honestly by the time his hour was over he didn't want to leave. Wanted to get everything out now. But this was just a preliminary session. They'd delve deeper next time and he was ready for it. One thing they had concluded, that only took a few seconds, was his problem with social anxiety. He'd been so nervous he had just about made himself sick.   
It sounded strange. He was a performer, how the hell did people make him so nervous? But it made sense. On stage people saw a persona, a character he played. Not him. And letting people actually see him wasn't something he was too keen on doing. That person on stage was not him. Not by a long shot. What he'd told Ryan before was true. He was still that scared little kid afraid the world was going to crush him. He didn't want people to see that. They didn't need to know how he honestly felt about himself. It made him a bit of a hypocrite to preach thinking better of yourself to a generation of kids with little to no self esteem when his own didn't even register on any scale. So how was he supposed to change that? 

True to her word Abigayl was waiting out in the lobby of the office building when he was ready to leave. She smoothed her hands over the skirt of her dark blue sundress and her white hair fell in curls over her shoulders.   
"So? You okay?" She asked, green eyes full of worry.   
"Better than okay. Come on I'll tell you about it at Rickers. I think I may actually be starving." He teased, kissing the top of her head.   
"Just wasting away. I can tell." She replied, pulling the keys out of her purse and handing them to him. 

 

Abigayl was impressed. Impressed, shocked, and proud. As she sat on Rickers' balcony listening to Ronnie talk about his session with Dr. Klein above all else she was proud. Honestly she had expected to get called back to the office within the first ten minutes. Turned out she had actually had to wait and Ronnie seemed eager to go back.   
"So anyway, what did you do while you waited-" Ronnie stopped as two arms wrapped around his neck and Damyen rested his chin on his head.   
"So tell me, how did your little sesh with the crazy doc go?"   
"Wait, you told Damyen?" Abigayl asked.  
Ronnie nodded. "Where do you think I got the therapist's name from? It went great by the way. Thank you for getting me an appointment so quick."   
Damyen let him go and sat down beside her. "You're very welcome honey. Have you spoken to Jacky yet?"  
"No, I figured I'd give it another week."  
"Well then you guys might want to head out. J's downstairs with Becca and Ryan and I can't really tell them they can't come up here."  
Abigayl couldn't help but sigh. "You're probably right D. No reason to make a scene here. I wouldn't mind heading home anyway."  
After a quick goodbye they headed down the outside steps down to the beach. Though she'd made the excuse for Ronnie, it was half for her too. She didn't want to see Jacky right now either. Part of her was angry that he'd left again even knowing what had happened. If she was completely honest part of her didn't want him to come back. Eventually the pain would numb out but if he just kept leaving over and over the wound would be left raw. Aby loved him but you could only take so much.  
By the time they made it back to the house her attitude was downright toxic. Aby knew she needed to calm down but dammit she was sick of this crap. All the three of them had done since they got together was push each other away and leave. Where did it end?   
"Hey, you okay?" Ronnie asked, grabbing her hand before she could take off once the front door was locked behind them.   
"No, I'm not. I'm drained. Every fucking time I think we're finally through all the bullshit something like this happens. Years now Ronnie. Years. We've been doing this for years! I just can't help but think maybe if Jacky says he's done we should just let him be done. Not try to go after him this time. Just try you and me." She said honestly.   
He seemed shocked at first but Abigayl could tell he was mauling it over. Maybe he'd thought the same thing.   
"Maybe you're right. I thought about that a lot while we were in Australia. Becca says he is completely and totally done. And the fact that he hasn't reached out to you either makes me believe that. I'm not saying I won't miss him, but I think just the two of us is a good plan."   
Aby wasn't sure whether to be happy he had agreed or not. She assumed with time she would be happy though.   
"Alright. Then we'll call this our fresh start." She said, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him. "Since I was a bum this morning I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll be back down in a bit."  
"Okay, I'm gonna go bug Rosa."

Stripping out of her clothes Abigayl took off her rings and laid them in a shell she'd picked up the first time the boys had taken her to the beach. The hot water felt wonderful so she washed her hair twice just as an excuse not to get out. Figuring they weren't going anywhere the rest of the day she threw on a pair of black sweats and a long white shirt then wrapped her hair up in a loose pony not wanting to deal with it. Out of habit she reached for her rings.   
Her engagement ring was gone.   
Frantic, she looked all around the countertop, the floor, the drawers, everywhere tearing apart the bathroom. Cloud had never messed with anything on the counters before but just in case she searched the floor out into the bedroom. How could she have lost just that ring? The others were still in the shell. Maybe she hadn't been wearing it? Sometimes she left it in the pocket of her purse but she remembered having it on. Didn't she?   
Trying not to have a panic attack Abigayl hurried downstairs to cut through the kitchen into the main hall but she never made it that far.   
"Aby? What are you looking for? Are you okay?" Ronnie asked as she walked into the kitchen.   
"I um, I can't find my engagement ring. I think Cloud may have got a hold of it but honestly I don't remember even having it on. I need to check my purse then I'll-"  
"Okay okay calm down. Come here for a second." He said.  
"Ronnie this is important. I have to find it."   
He gave her one of those smiles that lit up her heart. "Just come here, please?"  
A little more than frustrated, Abigayl walked over to him. Ronnie lifted her up to sit on the bar in front of him despite her complaints.   
"I really don't have time for this babe. I'm not gonna be able to focus until I find that ring, you know that."  
He just smiled and took her hands. "You look...edible." He said giving her a once over.   
Abigayl rolled her eyes and tried to pull her hands away.   
"Okay okay. I know where your ring is. Now stop. I have something to tell you."  
Aby settled down but frowned at him. "Where is it then?"  
"What you said earlier about letting Jacky go. The therapist actually told me the same thing. And I agree with both of you. It's time to move on. I want to take that next step. Abigayl." He paused pulling something out of his pocket. "Will you marry me? For real this time?"   
She just about came unglued as he held up her pink diamond that now had two beautiful baby blue diamonds placed on either side of it. It was so gorgeous she had a hard time believing it was her ring.   
"I'm not sure how I'm supposed to take this silence..." He mused, moving to put the ring back in his pocket.   
"No!" Abigayl said, quickly grabbing his hand. "I just never thought this would actually happen. I want to marry you. So so much." She finished, wrapping her arms around his neck.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 2.13

March 15th  
Lost Angeles, California 

"I can't believe this is happening! Aby I'm so excited. I've never been in a wedding before."  
Abigayl felt like her face was going to crack if she smiled anymore but how could she not? It had been a week since Ronnie had proposed to her. That's also when the band had announced they would be doing Warped again this summer. The two of them, along with Rosa, decided they wanted to go ahead with a small wedding before they left for the summer. There wouldn't be much to it so Becca had been more than willing to plan the little event. Abigayl had been the one to decide where and honestly she didn't have to think twice. What the hell did they buy the giant house for if they weren't going to utilize it? So plans were set to hold the ceremony in the main hall then a little reception out in the backyard, which is what Becca was pulling together. "Me either!" She joked, grabbing a couple of cans from the pantry. "Hopefully this will be a one time thing."  
Becca gave her a duh stare. "It will be. And it's going to be beautiful. So where is your fiance now?"  
"Today is his second session with his therapist. Ronnie said he'd be here when it was over. He should be here by now though."   
"Ah, how's that going?" Becca asked as she cut up mushrooms for their soup. Ronnie wasn't going to touch that but she could take him out later. His eating habits tended to be more childlike. Becca had joined Ryan in his vegetarian diet and Abigayl knew her fiance wouldn't touch half the stuff she made. Aby on the other hand could eat that whole pot of Japanese soup.   
"It's actually going really well. I haven't seen Ronnie this relaxed and just, happy in a long time. It's like he can breathe. And the two of us have never got along so well. Our entire life has kind of changed over the last week. Lots of very much needed conversations. We even talked about kids."  
Becca's head snapped around, her knife slipping on to the counter. "Kids? You guys are thinking about trying for another baby?"  
Abigayl shrugged. "We kind of decided to leave that up to chance. If it happens it happens. Neither of us would mind it though."  
"Didn't think I'd ever hear you say that. Maybe you both have grown up a bit. I just wish, and forgive me, that Jacky could have been a part of this change. I worry about him." Becca added.   
"Where is he? At first I did too. But we only hurt him. This way is better for all of us."  
"He's probably moving into his new apartment right now. He got out as fast as possible. Took everything yesterday and left. He hasn't talked to either of us since. Aby, really I am worried about him. I don't think he's as okay with this situation as he seemed."  
Honestly Abigayl did too. No matter how much she believed they were doing the right thing, not having Jacky hurt like hell. She couldn't imagine how he was feeling but hoped it didn't lead to anything detrimental to himself.   
"Maybe I can talk to him at some point."   
Hearing the front door shut, Aby let that conversation die. There really wasn't anything she could do for J.   
She didn't even flinch as arms encircled her waist and Ronnie kissed the top of her shoulder.   
"Good morning." He whispered against her ear.   
"Good morning to you too."  
"What about me?" Becca said with a pout.   
He leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Good morning Becca. Where's Alessa?"  
Becca rolled her eyes. "He only likes me for my kid. She's upstairs with Ryan. Are you going to stay for lunch?"  
Ronnie poked one of the mushrooms she hadn't cut and stuck his tongue out. "I don't think so. I'm not a rabbit. I'll be right back Aby." He told her before leaving the kitchen.   
"Carnivore boy touched my mushroom." Becca said sadly, sticking her bottom lip out.   
Abigayl couldn't help but laugh. "If it's not meat or candy he probably isn't going to eat it. No offense to your shrooms!"   
Becca rolled her eyes. "That boy. You know he has a stash of Twizzlers in the Escalade right?"  
Aby laughed. "Yes, he doesn't know that I do though. So we'll keep that a secret. Anyway, so Ronnie is going with Owen and Ryan to Vegas tonight. A 'guy's night' or something. What are you and Alessa doing?"  
"Actually Rosa is coming over later to watch Alessa and you and I are having our own girls night." Becca replied with a wink.   
Abigayl felt her face heat up. "Perfect. Could you bring your camera? I wanted to do a little impromptu shoot while Ronnie's gone. If I can find the confidence to do it that is."  
Becca laughed. "Whatever it is we'll make it happen. I'll just come over after the boys leave."

"So why exactly are you guys going to Vegas tonight?" Abigayl asked as she reached across the table to steal a French fry.   
Ronnie slapped her hand away but pushed the plate towards her just enough that she could easily reach.   
"No reason really. Just some time away. Everyone needs that every now and again. Why? You sound upset about it."  
She shook her head. "I'm not upset that you're going if that's what you mean. I just don't like you not being with me. I'm selfish like that. But I agree, you do need time away from me too."  
"That's not what I meant Aby. It's more of a get Ryan out of the house type of thing. Becca says he doesn't do anything outside of their house except tour now that Alessa was born. She wanted us to take him out for a night. I don't need time away from you."  
Abigayl absently stirred her straw around in her lemonade. "You say that but I think that was part of our problem before. We need time away from each other. I think tonight is a good idea. It'll give you time with your friends and I with mine. What time are you guys leaving?"  
"Couple of hours. Owen's meeting us at the house at two."

"What exactly are we doing?"  
Abigayl ignored her friend as she searched through her closet. Becca let out an exasperated sigh.   
"Aha!" She exclaimed finding the black corset outfit she'd worn for Ronnie the night he'd handcuffed her. A flash of heat went through her body remembering that night.   
"Kinky." Becca said, running her fingers over the leather and lace bodice. "You want to wear this for the photoshoot?"  
"Yeah, just a couple pictures." She shrugged, looking away. "Sometimes I just feel like I don't quite add up, you know? I mean, you saw the pictures of Ronnie's ex. She was gorgeous."  
"She was also a goldigging bitch."  
"Not the point Becca. It's stupid but I know I'm safe. There aren't guys fawning all over me. They hardly even look at me. Even that photoshoot I did with Danny they all talked about how hot Luna looked. I'm not some statuesque model. Just once I'd like to be the one they're talking about. I want him to feel like I do when all those women are ogling him. That possesivness. Can you help me?"  
A sinister smile curved Becca's lips. "Oh yeah, I can do that. Come on. Makeover time."

Abigayl pulled her jacket tighter around her as she followed Becca down to the main hall. She was really beginning to regret this decision. She felt more like a porn star than sexy but she trusted Becca. Her friend had spent the last hour applying makeup and teasing her hair out. She was definitely an artist. Aby barely recognized her own reflection.   
"I don't know how you walk in those heels though." Becca said as they reached the first floor.   
"Easier than you think. Okay so where do you want me?"  
"Just lay down on the floor, here in the middle."  
Abigayl gave her a look like she was crazy and Becca rolled her eyes. "Just do what your told."  
With a huff, Abigayl slid her jacket off and laid down on the cold wood floor. Becca, along with her camera, laid down on her stomach perpendicular to her.   
"Okay, now put your right arm over your head into your hair, yeah like that." She said, leaving the camera to come over and fan her hair out above her.  
"Alright, pull your leg up just a bit, yep. And arch your back. More than that Aby. More. Oh come on you plank. Arch."

Three hours, four edited photos, a bottle of wine, and multiple laughing fits later they were back upstairs.   
"Becca help me out of this stupid thing." She laughed, slipping her shoes off and sitting on the edge of the bed next to her.   
Becca was still giggling as she fumbled with the little hooks on the back of the corset. As the last one finally came undone Abigayl could not stop laughing and leaned back over her lap. "We need more wine."  
"Definitely more wine."   
Without bothering to change she just slipped one of Ronnie's T-shirt's over her head and went hand in hand with Becca downstairs. They decided on screwdrivers and after making an entire pitcher worth they headed into the living room to watch Supernatural.  
"No Cas don't eat the souls!!"   
Becca and Aby took one look at each other and bust out laughing again. Abigayl rolled on to her knees and tried not to fall off the couch as she put her arms around Becca's neck. "I'm so glad you're here." She said knocking them both over on the couch.  
"I am too babe." She replied, leaning up to press their lips together.   
Abigayl stiffened for only a minute before she gave in letting Becca rolled her on to her back, her hand running down her thigh. They really shouldn't be doing this. Really shouldn't. 

 

"Vegas! We are here!!"  
Ronnie laughed as Owen and Ryan piled out of the Escalade in the drive of the Bellagio. He handed the keys to the valet and followed them inside.   
Abigayl had been right. He did need this. And for the first time in 5 years he was going to indulge in it all. He had spent years learning self control. This was the test.   
"So where to first boys?"   
Owen and Ryan exchanged a look that said he was in trouble and Ronnie turned for the door.   
"Oh come on, where you running to?" Ryan said, pulling him back. Come on. Let's get this started." He replied, lining up three shot glasses on the bar in their suite then poured them full of Goose.   
As one was handed to him Ronnie stared down into the little glass of clear liquid, feeling like he was teetering on the edge of a cliff. He could handle this though, right?   
Before his confidence gave out he tipped the glass back and downed the whole thing, letting it burn a path down his throat. Ryan was watching him, a curious look on his face.  
"You sure that's a good idea?"   
Ronnie nodded. "Yep. I'm good. Gotta live a little. You won't let me do anything stupid right?"  
Ryan clapped him on the back. "Nope. I got you man. Come on, let's go blow some money."  
They hit the casino at New York New York first. His favorite. As always the tables were good to him leaving them plenty to spend at the clubs. Time to hit Hakkason at MGM. 

By 1am they ended up at the XS pool party at the Encore. How Ronnie really wasn't sure. He remembered being at Tao for awhile but that's when things got blurry. They'd ran into this group of girls there for a bachelorette party and a shit ton of jello shots later he really wasn't remembering much. He leaned against the side of the pool as one of the bar girls handed him and Ryan two rum and cokes.   
"I can't feel my feet!" Ryan yelled over the music but only a few inches from him ear.   
"It's the rum!" He replied, pointing to his glass. "Where's Owen?"   
"I have no clue. I think he came with us...hey can I tell you a secret?"   
Ronnie stirred the ice around in his now empty glass with his finger before popping one of the cubes into his mouth. "Sure. I won't remember it in the morning though." He joked though it was probably true.   
Ryan laughed and looked over his shoulder as a woman with long blond hair ran her hand up over his shoulder. She had been part of the party earlier.   
"You boys coming up to dance or not?" She said as she nipped at his ear.   
Ronnie tried to focus but for some reason couldn't figure out why her doing that would be wrong. Man his head was spinning. Before Ryan could reply Owen jumped into the pool between them taking the girl down into the water with her. It didn't even phase Ryan.   
"Do you remember that day I walked in on you and Jacky?" He asked, waiving down another waitress.   
Ronnie racked his brain trying to remember but only got bits and pieces. "Yeah, kinda. What about it?"  
"I watched him kiss you. Sometimes I wondered what that was like. Seems like everyone's had that experience but me. Hell you've even kissed my girlfriend."  
Well he couldn't really deny that. Becca had messed around with Aby and him a few times.   
"I thought you were okay with that though?"  
Ryan nodded as he was handed another glass. "I am. It still shocks me to say that, but I am. But sometimes I feel left out."  
Ronnie had to laugh. "For the record, Becca doesn't come over for me. She's there for Aby."  
"Yeah I know..."  
"Seriously man could you possibly make this any more complicated?"  
Ryan's head snapped up. "How am I mak-"  
"If you wanna kiss me just do it you asshat."   
The only part of the whole thing was weird was that he'd never kissed someone taller than himself. Jacky and Max were both so much shorter than him. Other than that it didn't seem so wrong. Ronnie had to admit Ryan was a better kisser than him though in a not as rough way.   
As Ryan's hand ran up his neck, thumb brushing the front of his throat for the first time in his life he gave up control completely and before he knew it Ryan had him pressed up against the edge of the pool. Ronnie felt his other hand skim up his back and tangle in his hair before his head was jerked back and Ryan nipped at his throat. He let his hand wander up Ryan's sides and on to his shoulders.   
All too soon Ryan pulled away, just enough to lay his forehead against Ronnie's shoulder.   
"Dude...I'm sorry." He whispered.  
"Don't be. I'm not. I um, don't think it would be a good idea to leave the water right now though." He joked and felt Ryan smile.   
"Hey." He said, putting his hands on Ryan's chest and pushing him back enough to look him in the eye. "We'll finish this later okay? Let's go find Owen and go back to the hotel."  
Ryan nodded and followed him out of the pool. They found Owen up with the crowd in front of the stage with the blond girl.   
"Owen! We're going back to the hotel. Are you coming?"   
Owen shook his head. "I'll come back later."  
Ronnie squeezed his arm before pushing his way back through the hot crowd of people. 

"You're gonna drink it straight from the bottle?"   
Bottle of Malibu rum in hand, Ronnie crawled up on to the giant bed. "Why not? Not gonna hate myself any less in the morning if I drink it out of a glass. Wanna share with me?"   
Ryan gave him a weird look like he was trying to decide what to do. "Maybe that's not such a good idea. Maybe you should just give me that bottle." He said, leaning over the edge of the bed to try to grab the bottle from him.   
Ronnie stretched his arm away from him. "Nuh uh."   
Ryan wasn't giving up though as he all but crawled over him, grabbing for the bottle again. They ended up in a tangle laughing like two college girls during a pillow fight. One of those 'this doesn't leave the room' moments.   
Twisting off the cap he tipped the bottle back, taking a long pull that made a line of fire straight to his stomach. His head was practically swimming in alcohol, vision blurry, movements slow. Ryan finally grabbed the bottle, taking a long swig himself. Between the two of them it took them about twenty minutes to finish the bottle off.   
As glass clinked against the marble floor Ryan pressed him back against the soft sheets and kissed him again. It wasn't rushed or rough. He took his time exploring with both his tongue and his hands.   
"Are you okay with this?" He asked, suddenly pulling back.   
Ronnie blinked a few times trying to clear his head. He was plastered but that didn't mean he didn't know exactly what was going on. His decision making wasn't being hindered by the alcohol.   
"Yeah." He ground out, his voice rough. Why was Ryan treating him like he was gonna break? Jacky and Aby never did that. "I'm good."  
Ryan just smiled, dark hair falling into his eyes, before leaning back down to nip along his throat. 

Who's phone was that? And why wouldn't it shut the hell up?   
Ronnie blindly reached out, patting the bedside table for whatever phone was blaring out something close to a police siren.  
"Hello?" He answered sleepily.   
"Ronnie? Why are you answering Ryan's phone? Where is my boyfriend? I've been calling all morning." Becca rattled on in his ear.   
"Uh...he's asleep Becca. What's going on?"   
"His father's in the hospital. Please wake him up."  
That woke him up.   
Ronnie rolled over, finding Ryan still sleeping, his back to him. "Ryan." He said, shaking his arm.   
He came awake like he'd been shocked, sitting straight up in bed then gripping his head.  
"Ry, Becca's on the phone. It's important."   
He frowned as he took the phone and put it to his ear.   
Ronnie laid back down, putting his arm across his eyes. His head was pounding. Every movement felt like he was moving through a pool of jello. And he was sore all over. Although some of that was explainable. Turned out Ryan wasn't always gentle.   
Oh fuck. Had they really gone there?   
As soon as he hung up Ryan was out of bed searching for his clothes.   
"Is your dad okay?" He asked, the sound too loud in his ears.   
"I think so but I'm going to fly out anyway. I'd never forgive myself if something happened and I wasn't there."  
"I don't blame you."  
Ryan paused for a moment as he pulled his shirt over his head. "Guess I'm gonna do the walk of shame all the way to Utah huh?" He teased.   
"In last nights clothes nonetheless."   
"I'm sorry I have to leave like this."   
Ronnie tried not to laugh. "It's fine Ry. I'll get Owen home. No worries. Just get to your family."  
"Thank you Ronnie. Seriously." He said, leaning over the bed to give him a light kiss before grabbing his bag and heading for the stairs.   
"Hey Ry?"  
Ryan turned back to him.   
"We still ain't datin'."   
He heard his friend laugh as he descended the stairs.   
Now time for some aspirin. And he needed to find Owen. 

"Mandalay Bay man, you missed...everything!"   
Ronnie winced as Owen's voice came through the phone. Apparently the guy had never even come back to the hotel.   
"I had my own fun. We gotta be out of here by one. You coming back?"  
"What do you mean you had your own fun? You and Ryan were so shit faced I'm surprised you're even awake. Yeah I'm on my way back now. We headed home?" Owen asked, the sound of traffic in the background.   
"Yup. Ryan had to leave. Family emergency, so it's just you and me. And we were not that drunk. Maybe you were."  
Owen scoffed. "Dude, you guys made out in the pool at Encore. You were that drunk."  
"I don't remember that." He lied. "Just hurry up. I need aspirin and my girlfriend."  
After saying he'd stop and get something Owen hung up. Ronnie stood out on the litte veranda of their suite and watched the people below him. How the hell was Aby gonna take hearing what had happened last night? Was he even supposed to tell her? Thoughts swirled through his head before he checked his texts and noticed he had three from her. 

Aby: Hope you're having a good time. Couldn't wait to show you when you got home so here's a present!

Attached was a high res photo that took forever to load. So worth the wait though. It was a picture of her in that Dom outfit she'd bought, she was laying on the wood floor all arched up like a Victoria's secret model. He'd never seen a sexier woman in his life. He wanted home. Now. He could tell her what happened later. 

R: Aby you better be wearing that when I get home. 

He sent off the text and set the picture as the background on his phone.   
"Come on Owen, hurry the hell up."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 2.14

March 16th  
Los Angeles, California 

 

She didn't want to fight, but she had a feeling that's what was on the agenda for today as the Escalade pulled into the driveway.   
Abigayl sighed as she opened the front door and walked out on to the porch. Ronnie greeted her with a kiss that made her knees weak.   
"Mmm it's good to be home. Remind me next time I don't want to leave."   
Aby laughed as he dropped his bag and picked her up.   
"I'm going to hold you to that. I'm sorry I didn't get all dressed up for you." She teased, lacing her fingers behind his neck.   
"Trust me baby I couldn't care less about what you're wearing. Those pictures though? Where did that come from?"  
She just shrugged. "Thought it would be fun. Becca put all the photos up on her site yesterday and already had tons of requests too sell prints. I think I'm gonna let her."  
Ronnie frowned and put her back on her feet. "So every body had seen these now? I don't know if I like that. Other guys seeing you like that."  
"Why? Other girls can gawk at you and have your pictures but it's not okay if it's me?"  
He shook his head and picked up his bag. "Other woman do not gawk at me Abigayl. Maybe they would have a few years ago but as old as I am, they don't care anymore. Not any girl of legal age anyway. But you they'd have up in an issue of playboy. They're your pictures though. I won't stop you from selling them, but I can't promise I won't go homicidal on some dirtbag who makes any comments towards you."  
Abigayl laughed and lightly kissed him. "You're crazy if you think you're too old for woman to look at you. I won't make a decision yet. Come inside, tell me about Vegas."  
A look passed over his face that made an uneasy feeling stir in her stomach but he followed her into the house.

"Ronnie, will you come here please?" Abigayl said as she watched him walk back into the closet again.   
"Yeah, just a second sweetheart."  
She waited rather impatiently for him to come back into the bedroom.   
"What's up?" He asked, leaning against the desk where she was sitting.   
"I want to be completely honest with you. No secrets, even if it hurts."  
He frowned and narrowed his eyes on her. "What are you talking about?"  
"Becca and I had sex last night." She blurted out. "I'm sorry. We were drinking and things got out of hand."   
Ronnie just laughed. "Man you had me worried for a minute there Aby."  
"You're not mad?"  
He shook his head. "It wouldn't be the first time you guys have. Why would I be mad?"  
"Because you weren't involved this time."  
Ronnie shrugged. "Oh well. It doesn't bother me. Really Aby, I promise. It doesn't bother me. You know why?"  
Abigayl tried not to laugh as he bent over her, kissing her all over her face.   
"Why?"  
"Because I love you. And I'm the one you come home to. I'm the one you chose and that's all that matters." He said seriously.  
Abigayl wasn't sure what to say so she pulled him down by the collar of his shirt and kissed him.   
She let out a groan as her phone went off.   
"Always with the interruptions." She said jokingly.   
"Answer your call, I'll go take a shower. I want you out of those clothes by the time I get out." He commanded, flicking the end of her nose.   
Abigayl laughed and picked up her phone. It was Becca.  
"Hey girl what's up? Is everything okay?"  
"Yeah, we made to Salt Lake City fine. Just got to Ryan's parent's house with Alessa. Ryan is back at the hospital. His dad is fine. Twisted his ankle playing soccer with Tanya's (Ryan's sister) son. He should be headed home soon. Just wanted to update you. Did Ronnie make it back to LA yet?" She asked, the sound of a door shutting behind her.   
"Yeah just about twenty minutes ago. I'm glad you guys made it okay and that his dad's alright. Are you guys staying there a few days?"  
"A couple. Thought we might as well visit. By the way, if he hasn't told you about Vegas yet, ask Ronnie how it feels to be on the bottom for once." She said with a giggle.   
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"  
"Bye Aby, I'll talk to you later." Becca replied quickly before the line went dead.   
Wondering what the hell her friend was talking about, Abigayl left her phone on the desk and went into the bathroom that was slowly filling with steam. Quietly she slipped out of her clothes and padded over the damp floor into the shower. Ronnie flinched as she put her hands on his hips then slowly swept them up his back watching his muscles tighten and release. He was so ticklish sometimes it was comical.   
"What are you doing Aby?"   
"Admiring what's mine. And being thankful that you are."  
He grabbed her hands and turned her under the spray then started running his fingers through her hair. Abigayl closed her eyes as he massaged shampoo into her hair. She'd always loved it when people played with her hair.   
"What happened in Vegas?" She asked quietly.   
"From the tone of your voice it sounds like you already know but you came in here so I'm going to take that as you not being pissed at me."   
She shrugged. "Depends on who you were with."  
"Ryan."  
Abigayl couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah right. Come on, tell me."  
"Abigayl I'm being serious. We were drinking and he brought up catching Jacky and I. I told him if he wanted to kiss me do it."  
"Did he?"  
"He did more than that." He answered, a hint of humor in his voice.   
Aby bit her lip ring imagining what could have gone on in that hotel room. "So are you just slowly going to sleep with your whole band?" She teased, running her hands up his chest.   
"I didn't sleep with Max and Derek's just not pretty enough to be my type. I'm pretty sure it was a one time thing though Aby don't get your hopes up. And as much fun as it was it just made me-" He stopped, the smile fading from his lips.   
"What? Made you what?"  
"It just made me miss Jacky. Abigayl I love him. I really really love him. I can't make that go away."  
Aby gave him a sympathetic smile. "I know baby. I love him too. I don't think that will ever go away but that's okay. We don't have to forget. We just have to move on. Come here." She said, pulling him down to her. He took over kissing along her jaw and nipping at her throat.   
"You're all I need now Aby." She heard him whisper against her shoulder and she hoped to god that was true. 

"I'll get it!" Abigayl yelled as she walked towards the front door where someone was knocking.   
Why the hell didn't anyone use the doorbell?   
Aby felt the smile fade from her entire being as she opened the door to find Jacky standing on their front porch.   
"Hey Abigayl." He said quietly. His eyes were dark, like he hadn't slept in days. To be honest he looked horrible.   
"Hey J. Are you okay? Do you want to come in, we're having a late lunch if you want to join us." She said, wondering when the last time he ate was, he looked that bad.   
He shook his head. "No thank you. I just came by to pick up Cloud. I would have called but I um, lost my phone."  
"Um, okay. Let me go find him. I'll be right back."   
Jacky kind of half nodded before she turned away. Cloud and Charlie were in the library laying in the sun. It didn't take a genius to find them most of the time. Picking the big white cat up in her arms she hugged him tight. This was it. The last piece of Jacky in their house.   
Though she'd left the front door open Jacky hadn't come in. She met him outside and he smiled a little when she handed Cloud to him.   
"Thank you." Was all he said before turning away, back down the steps. He must have taken a taxi to get to the house.   
Abigayl didn't know what to do as she watched him disappear around the trees that lined the drive. Her heart was breaking. Back inside she closed the door and put her back against it, sliding to the floor.   
It wasn't until she heard footsteps that she realized how long she'd been sitting there.   
"Aby? Hey, are you okay? Who was at the door?" Ronnie asked as he knelt down beside her.   
"A ghost." She mused. "Jacky, he came to get Cloud. He looked horrible. Like he hadn't slept in days. I tried to get him to come in but he said no. Becca was right. I'm worried about him. He said he lost his phone so I can't just call him and we have no idea where he's living because he didn't tell anyone. I don't know what to do."  
"I'll see if I can find out where he is but Aby you have to understand there is only so much I can do. He's not going to want to talk to me. Whatever is going on with him he's going to have to work through it. But for you I will try. Maybe I can get Max to talk to him."  
"Better than nothing. I'm telling you Ronnie, he needs someone."

 

"Home sweet home Cloud." Jacky said sarcastically as he put him down just inside the apartment door.   
There was absolutely nothing wrong with this place. It was a hundred times better than where he'd been living in Vegas and his dad would say it's still better than his house back home but none of that mattered. The aesthetics of the apartment didn't mean shit. It was too clean, too quiet, too...empty. Everytime he walked over that threshold he was reminded of just how alone he was now. It was mainly his fault too. Sure the way Ronnie had acted towards him in Australia was horrible but he could have talked to him about it. He could have done a lot of things differently but he hadn't. He'd run away like a tempermental child with its feelings hurt. And who had that really hurt? Abigayl and Ronnie may miss him, but they moved on. Hell they were getting married. He'd broke that last straw.   
And he would live with it. He could do this. Jacky had been on his own basically back before moving to LA and there was no reason why he couldn't be again. Warped would be difficult but he'd also be surrounded by friends which would make it a ton easier.   
Yep, he could do this.   
Opening up his laptop he popped up a facebook message to Max. He hadn't been lying to Aby. He had lost his phone. If by lost you meant it got thrown into the ocean in anger. 

J: Hey man, lost my phone. You busy tonight? 

M: You of all people lost your phone? Hahaha No Chelsie bailed on movie night. Wanna go with me? 

J: Are you asking me out Maxwell? 

M: Depends on how good you look when I pick you up and how cheap of a date you are. Give me your new addy. I'll pick you up in an hour. 

Jacky sent him the address and decided a shower was in order. From the look Aby had given him he figured he looked pretty bad. And what do you know? He was correct. As he looked in the mirror he had to laugh. The reflection looking back at him was never what he wanted to see but lack of sleep left him looking kind of alienish. It wasn't that he didn't want to sleep. It just wasn't happening. His appetite was all but nonexistent too. It was amazing how a week and a half could be so detrimental to your body. No wonder Abigayl had looked at him like that. 

Max showed up on time for once. Early actually. Jacky yelled for him to come on in since the door wasn't locked as ran a towel over his hair. It was getting long enough now that this didn't work so we'll.   
"You know, I was going to make a joke but now that I'm actually here I gotta ask, are you okay? Because you sure don't look it."  
Jacky glanced up at Max where he stood in the bedroom doorway, hip propped against the frame.   
"Yeah, I'm fine. Or I will be anyway. Just been a long week."  
"Long week? Dude you look like you haven't eaten or slept in weeks. What's going on?" He asked as Jacky dug through a suitcase full of his clothes searching for a shirt that smelled clean.   
"Max, you know how it feels to have your life completely uprooted and flipped. How did you feel? I'll be fine. I'm not sitting here alone downing a bottle of whiskey. I reached out to you didn't I? It just takes time."  
"Yeah, I do know. You're handling it much better than I did. I won't ask anymore. Hurry up and get dressed we've got dinner reservations." He teased.   
Jacky laughed, like honest to god laughed, for the first time since he got back from Soundwave and it felt good. "Damn Max you sure do know how to treat a girl."  
"You're an ass. Wonder if Ronnie ever forgot he didn't have two girlfriends."  
Jacky scoffed. "You guys always talk about how much I look like a woman but I guarantee there are parts of me that reminded him I am not female."  
"I don't need to know any more pertaining to that subject." 

 

"Have you heard from Max yet?"  
Ronnie looked up from his phone as Aby came into the living room, huge bowl of popcorn in her arms.   
"No, but he just posted something. Come here you gotta see this."   
Abigayl gave him a curious look and sat down beside him. Max had posted a video on twitter. The caption said 'Meet one of my best friends. He hates lights, Mai Tais, and negative answers'. The video was of Jacky and Max in a taxi. J winced and tried to push the camera away as the light came on but then just started giggling.   
"Jacky tell them what just happened." Max said and you could tell he was trying not to laugh.   
Jacky just continued laughing. "We got married..."  
Max held up his hand that had some kind of metal ring on it. "Sorry Chelsie, I married a drunk man. He is awfully cute though. Night night everybody."   
As the screen went dark and text popped up on the screen. 

Max: I got Jacky home safe and sound. He passed out like a light. 

Ronnie: So much for a honeymoon then huh? Thank you for letting me know. And for checking on him. 

Max: He'll be alright. He's just been a little down after splitting from you guys. I'll keep an eye on him though. 

After thanking him again he clicked the screen off.   
"Happy?" He asked and Aby kissed his cheek.   
"Yes I am happy. Thank you. I know he won't want us looking out for him but I can't help it. Now I don't have to worry about him and I can pay more attention to you." She said, her fingertips trailing up his arm.   
"More attention to me? Want some candy little girl?" He teased.   
Aby batted those anime length eyelashes and took his hand. She softly kissed his palm before licking up to the tip of his finger and turning his insides into a corkscrew.  
Did she even know how tight she had him wrapped around her finger? As he watched her put his hand against her cheek he really had to wonder. Did she really know the depths of which he'd go for her? Thirty years of unstable relationships but now? He only needed her. Only looked at her.   
"Abigayl?"  
She looked up at him, green eyes full of promise. "Hmm?"  
"I love you. So much."  
Aby smiled and brushed his hair back. "I love you too. Only you." She said quietly, laying back on the couch, pulling him along with her.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 2.15

May 20th  
Los Angeles, California

 

She was not nervous. So totally not nervous. Nope. No nerves here.   
Ha.  
Abigayl kept repeating the mantra to herself as people filtered in and out of her bedroom. At least up until an hour ago she'd had been able to go downstairs and help out. Now since Ronnie was home she wasn't allowed out of the room and it was driving her insane. One, she wanted to feel useful and two, she wanted to see him. But no, Luna had her way and they hadn't seen each other since yesterday morning.   
"Knock knock." A unfamiliar feminine voice came through the door.   
Making sure not to shake the curls Becca had put on top of her head, Abigayl made her way to the door. A woman probably in her early forties and a little taller than herself with natural bright blond hair stood on the other side. Her deep blue eyes held her smile. For some reason Abigayl thought she'd seen her before.   
"Hi. Ronnie told me to come give you this." She said, handing her a little envelope. "My name is May, by the way."  
"Oh! You're Ronnie's stepmother? It's nice to finally meet you." She said shaking the woman's hand.   
"I'm not sure he would call me that but it's nice to meet you too Abigayl."  
Aby frowned. "What do you mean? Here. Come in for a minute. I'm supposed to keep the door closed." She said, all but dragging the other woman in with her.   
May looked around the bedroom like she felt uncomfortable being there.   
"Everytime Ronnie talks about you he always refers to you as his stepmom. Hell most of the time he just calls you his mom. Why would you think he wouldn't?"  
May couldn't have looked more surprised if Abigayl had hauled off and slapped her.   
"Lee and I have only been married for five years now. We made it official just before Ronnie got out of prison. He was none too happy when he found out. It hasn't been until this last couple of years that he's really started talking to me. After Michael past away we sat for what must have been hours in silence on the phone. He had called to talk to Lee but then wouldn't let me off the phone. I knew he wanted to talk but there really wasn't anything to say. So I just stayed on the line. He was more accepting of me after that. It is nice to hear from someone else that he thinks of me that way though. Thank you."  
Abigayl smiled. "You're welcome. I'm glad you decided to come today." She said, giving the other woman a hug. "Me too. Can't wait to see you downstairs. I'm going to head back down there now. Do you need anything?"  
"Not that I can think of. Thanks."  
May nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her.   
Abigayl looked down at the little white envelope in her hand. Inside was the unicorn bracelet she had bought Alex. She had given it back after they'd come back to the states after Mycah was born. Stuck in with the bracelet was a little note that looked like it had been scribbled by a five year old. Ronnie's handwriting left a lot to be desired. 

Alex thought you may want this for today. He wanted me to tell you he loves you since Luna's keeping him busy down here and because you're marrying me, I didn't kill him. Love you. R

Abigayl shook her head. Yeah he had nothing to worry about. She had just slipped the bracelet on her wrist when Chelsie walked through the door, giant bag in hand.   
"You ready to get all dolled up?" She asked, setting her stuff on the desk. "I have to tell you, your fiance is cussing up a storm downstairs. Apparently he doesn't 'do suits' and feels like he's 'absolutely suffocating'. Has he always been so over dramatic about everything?"  
Abigayl laughed. "Oh yeah. Never a dull moment. The last time I got him into a suit was a masquerade ball. And he complained about feeling like a monkey."  
"I would have loved to hear that. Turn around here let's get started on that makeup. We've got about two hours to get you ready."

"Where's my best friend? Are you guys hiding her in here?"   
Abigayl tried to sit still and not laugh as DJ stuck his head into the bedroom but she failed and Chelsie backed away as she stood up to hug him.   
"Look at you! Not even in the dress yet and you look gorgeous." He said, kissing her forehead. "Are you nervous? I brought you something."   
"I've just about made myself sick twice now. This is nerve racking. Ooh, what do you have for me?" She said excitedly.   
DJ just shook his head and handed her something wrapped in white paper. Gently she unwrapped it to reveal a simple halo like crown. It was wrapped in black ribbons and adorned with small black roses and entwined with thorns. From the back a long gossamer veil fell long enough to hit the back of her knees. It was gorgeous and matched perfectly with the black dress she'd bought. They weren't a conventional couple, why have a conventional wedding? Abigayl had decided on black and light pink. The dress had a huge princess skirt and a corset bodice with pink lacing and off the shoulder little cuff sleeves. Maybe it was a bit overdone but she didn't really care.   
"DJ this is beautiful! You crafty little bastard. Come here." She said, pulling him into a hug attempting not to cry and ruin the work Chelsie had done so far.   
"You're welcome baby. So what do we have going on here? Can I help?"  
Chelsie gave him a curious look. Aby smiled. She was so underestimating him. 

Okay, she was freaking the fuck out.   
Abigayl rubbed her hands together, black satin gloves sliding against each other. Her makeup was done, her white hair laced with black ribbon and piled on top of her head. DJ's crown was in place, the tail of it falling down her back. The corset of her dress was tight enough she could hardly breathe but even if she could her nerves wouldn't let her. She waited with Danny on the second floor back where no one downstairs could see her. The entire main hall was done up beautifully in the colors she'd chosen. Becca had done an amazing job. The alter was near the front door facing the staircase. Chairs lined the hall leaving an aisle down the middle. It all looked so beautiful. And all the chairs were full, plus people standing around on the outsides. They hadn't expected so many people to show up. It was supposed to be a small wedding. Lee had let them know that there were people waiting outside by the gate hoping to get in. She had allowed in one, a guy Ronnie had let into the house before for an interview from Alt. Press. If they wanted to take a few photos that was okay with her.   
Abigayl felt like she was going to be sick. Was this really happening?   
"Are you ready for this Beauty?" Danny asked as they waited for the music to start.   
"No." She replied, gripping his hand. "I can't stop thinking about Jacky."  
Danny rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "Should we stop the wedding then?"  
She shook her head. "No, I want to marry Ronnie. I'm going to marry him. I just gotta work past this. I'll be okay."  
Danny kissed the top of her head as music started pouring out of the speakers. "Alright. Then let's do this."  
Becca and Ashley went first, then DJ and Dahlia, followed by Luna and Ryan. Only one pair left.   
Abigayl squared her shoulders and took a deep breath as the music changed. She looped her arm through Danny's and started for the stairs. All eyes were on her and all she wanted to do was run away. But then she met Ronnie's eyes and he smiled at her. That smile could light up her entire world in an instant. She couldn't help the grin that spread across her face as Danny kissed her cheek and handed her off. 

 

"How are things going in here?"   
Ronnie shrugged as Luna came up behind him.   
The one day he wanted it to be normal California sunny and beautiful clouds were rolling in. They were going to get that thunderstorm after all. Abigayl would love it though. She loved storms. Always pulled him out on to the porch when they started. It was as if the electricity of the storm ran through her. But he had to admit he loved seeing her like that, all happy and excited.   
Man he couldn't wait to see her.   
"I'm good. I hate to admit it but I'm kinda nervous to be honest."  
Luna smiled and squeezed his hand. "Abigayl is too. She's not gonna have any nails left by the time this is over. And for the record, whether it makes you feel better or not, she's thinking about Jacky too."  
"She is? I've felt so bad the last couple days having any doubts about this. It's not that I don't want this. I do, but it just feels like something is missing." He admitted.   
"That's what she said too. It's just a hole you two are going to have to fill for each other. Maybe I'm wrong but if Jacky wanted to be here don't you think he would be?"  
She had a point. He hadn't even heard from J for a couple weeks.   
"You're right. I know. I just...a part of me keeps hoping he'll show up and tell us not to go through with this. I realize how wrong of me that is but I can't help it."  
Luna's expression didn't change. She didn't do the sympathy thing and that was one of the things he loved about her. "It's not wrong. You love him. Whether or not you marry Abigayl today is irrelevant to me. I want you to do what is right for you pup. Promise me you'll do that."  
Ronnie nodded and she pulled him down to hug her.   
"Thank you Lu. Can you do me a favor?" He asked when she pulled away.   
"Probably. What do you need?"  
"Just keep everyone out of here for a few minutes. I need the quiet to think."  
"Of course. Just let me know when you make a decision."

How long was too long to sit in here like an idiot and try to 'think' his way out of this?   
Ronnie was about ready to pull his hair out when the sliding door to the library slowly slid open. Speaking of the problem.   
"Jacky? What are you doing here?"   
Jacky smiled and shut the door behind him. "You look like an FBI agent or something." He joked, pulling at the tie he had hanging loose around his neck.   
"Jacky, answer me."  
"I got an invitation." He replied with a shrug.   
"Yeah, but we didn't think you'd actually show up."   
Jacky frowned. The hurt in those blue eyes was too much. "I'll leave. I just, wanted to see it all. I'm happy for you Ronnie." He said, digging at the carpet with the toe of his boot. "I hope everything works out for you and Aby, I really do."  
Jacky never was a very good liar.   
"Don't leave J. Thank you, for telling me that."   
And that was the honest truth. Jacky declaring that he was happy for them meant he was trying to move on. Which in turn made Ronnie feel like this wedding was the right decision. For all of them.   
"You're welcome." He said quietly, giving him a small smile. "Good luck. Don't pass out."   
He just laughed as Jacky hugged him then exited the room as quietly as he had come in.   
It was time. 

Breathe. Just breathe. Remember Groezrock? Remember all those people? This is nothing compared to that.   
Yeah but he'd been a dumbass and fallen off the stage there.   
Ronnie mentally cursed at himself as Ashley escorted Becca from the staircase down the long aisle to the alter. He had never been this nervous before. And he had thought going to prison was nerve racking. Ha!  
Just about the time Ronnie thought he was gonna end up on the floor Dahlia and DJ started down the steps. She looked amazing in the dress Aby had picked for her bridesmaids. It was simple, black and loose fitting. But the way it swirled around her feet made it kind of mesmerizing.   
Dahlia smiled at him, her gray eyes filled with laughter as she mouthed 'I love you' to him. And that was what he'd needed. The anxiety was still there but at least it was becoming a dull hum. Once Ryan stood beside him his eyes were glued to the staircase as Danny led Abigayl down. His first thought was that Danny looked extremely weird in a suit. His second was that his heart was going to beat out of his chest.   
That was his bride. She looked so beautiful, more so than he'd even expected. Abigayl was all smiles as she walked down the aisle, a bouquet of black and red roses in her hand. She handed it off to Luna then turned to Danny and he hugged her while whispering something in her ear. Ronnie watched him run his thumb across her cheek then kiss her forehead before he stepped forward. Danny took her gloved hand and put it into his own.   
"You ready?" She asked quietly, her bright green eyes shown with excitement.  
"Born ready." He replied and she giggled.   
The moment was surreal as they stepped up the couple of stairs of the alter. The man who had wed Danny and Luna had flown to LA from Dallas for their wedding. Peters, apparently he was also some kind of doctor. Talk about multitasking. 

Ronnie listened to the man talk but wasn't really following. He was thinking about Jacky. He had stood against the wall by himself watching everything. Part of him wanted him to get irate and stop the whole wedding. The more he thought about it the less resigned to the situation he was. This wasn't right. Not without J.  
He glanced sideways at Abigayl, from the long line of her neck to her delicate but strong jawline. A small smile curved her lips as she listened. One long strand of hair had fallen from its clip and curled gracefully agaisnt her shoulder. One strand out of place. Wasn't that ironic? He felt like that. Out of place amongst the beauty around him. Just wait it out. He could do this.  
"Is there anything you two would like to say to one another?" Dr. Peters asked.  
"Yes, I do-"  
"Aby wait, I need to say something first." Ronnie interrupted her, and Abigayl gave him a what the hell look. "Abigayl, baby, you know I love you right?"  
She nodded but looked confused.  
"I do. I love you so much. And no piece of paper is going to prove that. We don't need a marraige lisence to prove how much we love each other."  
Abigayl's eyes went wide. "Ronnie, what the fuck are you doing?"  
"Aby I can't do this-"  
"Why? Are you that afraid of commitment?" She snapped.  
"No, I'm that afraid of losing him." He answered, pointing to where Jacky stood.   
Abigayl's face softened, all the anger bleeding out of her, and she took a deep breath. She didn't say a word, just raised up on her tip toes and gently kissed him.   
"Aby-"  
"Go, go tell him."  
Before she could change her mind he leaned down to kiss her again then cut around the edge of the room. He could hear everyone whispering but didn't care. He didn't give Jacky a chance to speak, just pulled him against him and kissed him hard pouring everything he had into it. J balked at first then gave in.   
"You just stopped your wedding." Jacky mused when he pulled away.   
"What more do you need me to do Jacky? I've apologized for the way I treated you, I've gone to a therapist, I let you go, and now this. What else would you have me do to prove how much I need you?"  
Jacky's mouth fell open then shut and he swallowed hard. Panic, he'd forced him into panic mode.   
"I didn't want you to do this." He said, barely more than a whisper.   
"Then tell me you don't care anymore. Tell me you don't want me. Tell me you don't want to be with us and mean it and I will go back up there and marry the girl I know we both love. But there won't be another chance J. This is it. Tell me the truth."  
The few seconds that past seemed to stretch on for years as Jacky stared up at him. He was scared. Ronnie watched as his eyes darted around the room then back to him, his lips parted like he was going to speak. Jacky lifted his hand, sliding it around the back of his neck then pulled him down and kissed him again, softly at first then deeper. As he wrapped his arms around him, Ronnie felt the moment he gave in, Jacky relaxed into him and he just held him. He'd never been one for religion but at that moment as the room erupted into applause he prayed and swore to whatever was out there that he wouldn't screw this up. He understood second chances didn't happen often and he wasn't going to take it for granted. 

"Wait wait, everyone sit down please!" Abigayl yelled over the crowd of people. "So obviously I'm not getting married today. But there's no reason why all this should go to waste when there are two people in this room who should be standing up here ready to take their vows. Plus, they're already dressed up!" She said reaching for Becca and Ryan.   
"Abigayl are you serious right now?" Becca said, pulling her arm away.  
"Yes, Ryan you want to marry her right?"  
Ryan nodded and took Becca's hand. "What do you think babe? Marry me?"  
Becca grinned. "Of course I'll marry you!"   
"Get up there then!" Abigayl exclaimed. 

So the evening wasn't a total loss. Becca and Ryan had their little wedding, which Becca mentioned they would have a big ceremony like she'd always wanted on their one year anniversary, and then they'd had a joint reception. Ronnie was happy. Like having all your fingers and toes happy. Abigayl sat to his right next to her best friend, still wearing that big beautiful dress and Jacky sat on his left their fingers laced together under the table. He was almost afraid to breathe out of fear of waking up.   
"You still look like you work for the government." Jacky teased, nudging his arm.   
"So I take it you don't like the suit?"  
Jacky smiled and leaned over, his lips brushing against his ear. "No, I like it. I definitely like it. God I missed you so much."  
"I missed you too. Jacky I don't know what I would have done had you rejected me." He admitted.  
"There's no way I could have done that. You knew it just as well as I did. Can we ditch this party?"  
Ronnie laughed. "After awhile."

"No, no I'm gonna stay down here a little longer!"  
Abigayl had had enough champagne. As in enough to take down an elephant.   
Ronnie put his hands on either side of her face forcing her to stand still. "Please come up to bed sometime before dawn okay?"  
She giggled and tried to get out of his grip.   
"I got her dude. Just let her dance." Alex said as he let her go.   
Abigayl flitted off to find Becca. "If she's really out of it just let her sleep where she falls because she won't stay in bed when she's like that."  
Alex arched a brow at him. "Deal. Now go away." He said, pushing him off towards the house. 

He caught up with Jacky on the second floor going up the back staircase. "Hey, hey stop." Ronnie said, pulling him to a stop a couple stairs above him.   
"What's wrong?"  
"Nothing's wrong. Nothing at all." He replied, unbuttoning the light blue button down he wore until he could slip it off his shoulders. Jacky's eyes watched him curiously as Ronnie ran his fingertips across his shoulders, down over his collar bone, and trailing down his chest. Just to be able to touch him again, to feel that warmth against his own skin.   
J's hands were cold as they skimmed up his neck forcing him to look up at him. "I'm here. I'm real, I promise. But you can't undress me out here on the stairs." He teased, leaning down to kiss him.  
"It's my house, I can do whatever I want." He replied, undoing the button of his jeans then splaying his hands over his hips. "Whatever. I. Want."  
Jacky's hands fell into his hair as he bent to lick along the v of his hips that disappeared into those godforsaken jeans. He wanted them off. Now.   
"Up, come on get upstairs."   
Jacky didn't hesitate. Once the bedroom door was shut behind them it took him a whole five seconds to strip those clothes off and get J under him, pressed back against the sheets. He arched up against him attempting to push his suit coat off as they kissed but it wasn't quite working.   
"Wait, wait." Ronnie said, pulling back just a bit. "Maybe we shouldn't do this."  
Jacky looked up at like he'd gone insane. "You've got to be kidding me. You brought me all the way up here and now you don't want me?"  
Ronnie scoffed, taking Jacky's hand and lowering it to where his pants were doing a crap job of hiding just how hard he was.   
"Does that feel like I don't want you?" He asked, grinding into Jacky's palm.   
That backfired.   
With some awkward difficulty Ronnie managed to get his jacket off as Jacky loosened his tie and untucked his shirt. He heard the 'pop' of buttons coming off then felt warm skin against his own.   
"Please...just..." Jacky trailed off as Ronnie nipped at his throat, he had to distract him a little.   
As he kissed him, he ran his hand up and down Jacky's side, he had to relax. Jacky reached down between them trying to guide him to where he wanted.   
"Jacky stop. I don't want to hurt you. Hold on."  
Taking the tie from around his neck, Ronnie put it over Jacky's eyes and gently tied it behind his head before moving down his body.   
"Ronnie?"   
"I'm here." He replied as J reached out for him. Ronnie took his hand and laid it against his cheek. Jacky smiled as he ran his thumb across his lips, the panic bleeding out of his face.   
Those rough fingers fell into his hair and he lowered his head. Jacky's whole body jerked as he licked up his length before running his tongue around the head of his cock. He squirmed just like Aby did.   
Sliding his hands around to the small of his back, Ronnie pulled him closer watching as his stomach muscles contract and release. So close.   
As an orgasm rippled through his body, Ronnie backed off, he'd learned his lesson. He watched as Jacky's head kicked back, the chords of his neck straining. God that was so sexy.   
When he finally relaxed, Ronnie let the tie loose from his eyes. Jacky smiled up at him, his eyes hazy, before taking the tie from him and putting it around Ronnie's neck, pulling him down against him. In that position it was easy to roll on to his back. Jacky smiled trailing his fingertip through the sticky mess that had transferred to his stomach.   
"Now?"  
He just nodded.  
"Not likes this though."   
How could he say no to him? When he leaned down to kiss him Ronnie rolled him on to his back again.   
Jacky just laughed. "Nope." He said, pushing at his chest so he could roll over underneath him. He held his breath as Jacky pressed up into him. Being so much taller had it's benefits. Reaching under him he ran his hand up J's chest to grip on to his shoulder, pulling him up on to his knees. Jacky turned his head just enough to kiss him, silencing the cry before it passed his lips as he pushed into him. Ronnie tasted blood as Jacky tugged on his bottom lip then released him, bracing his hands against the headboard. As instinct took over he kissed along Jacky's spine as he pushed back against him. Muscles flexed and relaxed against his lips, sending flames licking over his skin. As his own climax rippled down his spine he put his arm around Jacky's waist and held him as tight as he could.   
A little while later as they laid in the darkness of their bedroom, a cool breeze blowing in through French doors, Jacky rolled over amongst the black silk sheets kissing along his collarbone.   
"We're gonna be okay, right?"  
Ronnie smiled to himself. "Yeah J, we're gonna be fine. You and me and Aby, once she uh, sobers up. We'll be fine. You know why?"  
Jacky shifted, tucking his head into the crook of his neck. "Why?"  
"Because I love you and Aby. That's how I know." He replied, running his thumb back and forth along his jawline.  
"I love you too. And Abigayl. I don't want to leave again..." He trailed off as sleep washed over him.   
"I don't want you to leave either. Please don't leave me again."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 2.16

Los Angeles, California   
June 20th

The alarm clock would go off in two minutes.   
Abigayl reached over and turned the thing off before it could start it's wailing. They had to be in Pomona at nine. Which meant the boys could sleep for a while longer while she got ready.   
Before heading into the bathroom she padded over to the balcony doors and quietly opened them allowing the cool breeze to mingle with the sunshine that would be pouring in through the windows. Another beautiful day in paradise. Knowing she had plenty of time, Abigayl was in no hurry. She washed her hair and enjoyed the relaxation that came from the water rhythmically pounding against her scalp. Closing her eyes she leaned back against the marble wall of the shower. They were going to be on the road all summer again. Aby loved Warped but it sure was exhausting. At least this time around she wasn't carrying around a watermelon in her stomach.   
Ronnie had talked to Jacky about their decision to try for another baby and he had seemed enthusiastic about it. Then again he didn't remember the pain of losing Mycah. That would always hang over them, always a shadow in the back of their minds, but dwelling on it wasn't something they could do. This summer would be different.   
Turning off the water, Abigayl walked out of the shower and grabbed a towel. With her hair tied up she wrapped it around herself and headed back into the bedroom.   
Abigayl smiled as sunlight washed over her. She loved this house. It was so bright and open. Perfect.   
Aby paused just inside the room. The boys were awake. Her eyes traveled up Ronnie's back as he knelt with his knees on either side of J. His shoulder muscles flexed as he held himself up with one arm, the other he had his hand wrapped around the front of Jacky's throat. Anyone else may have thought the action was threatening but Jacky was smiling up at him. They were laughing in between little kisses and it made Abigayl's heart lighter than air. She snapped a quick picture for herself.   
"What are you two up to?" She asked as she got closer.   
"Talking." Jacky replied with a silly grin on his face. "Talking about Warp-" His words were cut off as Ronnie applied a bit more pressure to his throat. He tilted his head back trying to pull away from him but Ronnie slid his grip around and rubbed his thumb back and forth along his jaw line before biting into the skin between his neck and shoulder. Jacky's hips lifted off the mattress as he cried out. But then he was pushing against Ronnie's chest and his smile faded.   
Too far.   
"Hey!" She said loudly.  
They both turned to look at her.  
"We've gotta leave soon. Time to get up." She said, going over to the closet.   
"We've got a little time." Ronnie mused, nuzzling back into Jacky's shoulder.   
"Ronnie! Stop!" Aby said pulling at his arm.   
"Fine, fine. Whatever." He replied, climbing off the bed. He didn't say anything further as he headed for the bathroom.   
Jacky sat up on his knees and grabbed her hand. "Aby, what's wrong? Why'd you do that?"  
"Did he hurt you?" She asked, running her fingertips over the bite mark and the thin line of blood trailing down his neck. Ronnie had gone way past overboard.   
"He was hurting you J. One of us needed to stop it." She said seriously.   
Jacky laughed and pressed a kiss to her lips before leaving her alone on the bed.   
"This is nothing Abigayl. Don't worry about me." He said with a smirk before heading off into the bathroom.   
Abigayl sat in the middle of their bed more than confused. What the hell just happened? 

"Why are you giving me that look? All the way here you glared at me. What's going on?"  
Abigayl rolled her eyes and continued working. The gates would open before long and she had to get the whole merch tent set up since Owen wasn't there yet. Ronnie was just making it harder to do so.   
"We can talk about it later." She said as she pulled the legs of the tables out but he flipped them on to their feet before she could.   
"No, we can talk about it now."  
Abigayl laughed internally at the stern tone of his voice and ducked around him for another box but he caught her around the waist and halted her retreat.   
"Ronnie let go of me!" She said, pushing against him.   
"Everything okay over here?"  
They both looked up, distracted by the unfamiliar voice of a security guard. A moment of panic ran through her. Maybe everything wasn't okay. But they'd been through this. He wouldn't hurt her. Abigayl felt guilt wash over her for even thinking that way but then again look what he'd done to Jacky this morning.   
"Yeah, we're fine. Just talking." Ronnie replied nonchalantly.   
The security guard, a gentleman probably in his early fifties, narrowed his eyes on them. "I think maybe you should move on boy, cool off a bit then come back and talk to her."  
Abigayl felt like she shouldn't breathe as that statement hung in the air.   
"Come on son. Let's take a walk yeah?" This guy wasn't going to budge. This was going to turn into a fight and Ronnie was going to get them kicked off the tour.   
Much to her disbelief Ronnie let go of her and followed the guy but she could tell he was reluctant.   
"I'll be back." Was all he said. 

Another twenty minutes went by and Ronnie didn't come back, but a couple members of Chelsea Grin's crew brought a bunch of boxes into their tent that was on the left side of FIR's. As the crew left a familiar face came into the tent, a huge sunhat on her head accompanied by giant sunglasses.   
"Dahlia? What are you doing here?"   
Dahlia looked up from under the brim of her hat and grinned before grabbing her up in a hug.   
"You're looking at Chelsea Grin's new merch girl." She said, pulling out the front of her shirt.   
Abigayl gave her a smile and picked up a tape gun. "Well then I guess we'll be tent neighbors all summer. You totally missed the show by the way."  
Dahlia's brow shot up. "What show?"  
"Ronnie was escorted from the tent by security. He made an argument into a scene as usual. He's been in a bad mood all morning." She said, taping up a price on the board of shirts.   
"Shit. He found out about me and Alex?"   
Aby turned so fast she actually tripped backwards into a box of shirts. Fuck it she was staying there. "What do you mean you and Alex? What's going on?"  
Dahlia studied her nails. "Alex and I have been dating for a little over three months now."  
"You've got to be fucking kidding me! Dahlia how could you do that? You know that's going to kill Ronnie."   
"How could I? Seriously Aby do I not deserve to be happy too? You better than all people should understand you don't choose who you fall in love with." She snapped back.  
Abigayl winced as she realized what she'd done. "Dahlia I am so sorry. Of course you deserve to be happy. It just caught me off guard and it's been a stressful morning. I'm happy for you. And for Alex. But Ronnie was with me all morning so I don't think he knows yet."  
Dahlia cursed and put her hands on her hips. "I'm sorry too Aby. I shouldn't have yelled at you. If that's not what he was mad about than what was it?"  
"Something happened this morning and I don't know how to ask him about it and he's pissed because I didn't want to talk about it out here but he continued to make a scene until security made him leave."  
"Hmm. Well it looks like you're going to get your chance." She said, turning away from her.  
Abigayl was momentarily confused until she felt a hand brush down her arm. It always amazed her how that simple touch could make everything else fade away.  
She turned around as Ronnie put his arms around her waist and lifted her up.  
"I'm sorry I was a jackass. I should have known better than to start anything out here."  
Abigayl laced her fingers behind his neck. "It's alright. And I'm sorry for how I treated you this morning. Its just...I thought you were going to hurt Jacky..."  
Ronnie just smiled and set her back on her feet. "That's what this is about? Abigayl you worry too much sweetie. I didn't do anything to Jacky that he didn't want and or reciprocate."   
Aby frowned. "What are you talking about? I saw what you did to him this morning."  
"Aby, this is why we don't involve you all the time." He said, lifting up his shirt and pulling down the top of his shorts.   
He had teeth marks along his hip that looked worse than what she'd seen on Jacky's throat. What the hell were they doing to each other?   
"Oh my god. Jacky did this to you?" She asked touching her fingertip to the blackish bruises only for him to flinch away.   
"Oh yeah, not the worst he's done. Don't worry Aby. Jacky and I are just fine. Trust me."  
Abigayl just rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head on his chest.   
"Hey Dahlia?" He said above her head.   
"Yeah honey?"  
"I ran into Alex on the way back from time out. I know I don't really have a say but I just wanted you to know I'm okay with you and him. He's a good guy and if you're happy that's all I care about."  
Aby couldn't see her face but she knew Dahlia must have been just as proud of him as she was herself.   
"Thank you Ronnie. I'm glad we didn't have to fight about this." She replied.   
"Me too. Hey Owen just got here so he's probably on his way down here now, could you keep an eye on things until he gets here? I want to show Aby something."  
"Of course. I'll see you later." Dahlia answered, her tone lighter than it had been earlier. 

"What are you going to show me?" Abigayl asked as she and Ronnie walked out through bus land. She waved at a few people she knew but hadn't seen in a while.   
"It's a surprise. Just be patient." He said, putting his arm around her shoulders.   
"I'm not an inherently patient person Ronnie. In case you were wondering. I mean I know we just met and everything but I just thought you should know." She replied sarcastically as they approached the band's bus.   
A black bus was now parked in the previously vacant spot next to their own. At first Abigayl didn't think much of until she noticed the symbol on the front were two intricate cursive 'R's back to back.   
Curious, she walked over to run her fingertips over the lettering. "Ronnie? Baby is this yours?" She asked, turning back to him.   
"Yup. When we got home from Australia I figured Jacky and I wouldn't be able to deal being on the same bus with each other so I bought this one for myself. But now I figured with Alessa and all the other extra people with us that it would be nice to have more room. Plus it gives the three of us some privacy too. What do you think?"  
"I'm liking this summer thing more and more. But don't you think this is a bit erm, ostentatious?"  
Ronnie gave her a look that said her question was redundant. "Have you met me? I mean, I know we haven't known each other very long." He said, using her own joke against her. "But I'm nothing if not flamboyantly overdone."  
"Part of you is anyway. The other part of you would still rather be at home watching TV instead of going out there on stage."   
He was quiet for a moment, arms crossed over his chest. "Yeah, just don't go telling anyone that. Our little secret."  
Abigayl slipped her fingers into his front pockets and pulled him closer. He remained stoic, trying his best not to give in to her.   
"What do I get in return? For keeping your secret?"  
"You're the woman, you just do what you're told." He replied, but she could tell he was on the verge of breaking.   
Aby shrugged. "Fine. Guess I'll go have a talk with a megaphone then..."  
She let out a childlike squeal as he wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up. She pretend fought him all the way into the bus. 

"SCREAM! SHOUT! SCREAM! SHOUT! WE ARE THE FALLEN ANGELS!"  
Abigayl yelled along and laughed her ass off as she and Juliet danced around behind the stage. Today had been amazing. Not because anything stupendous had happened but because nothing had happened. No trouble. No fighting. No problems at all. Well not after their little tiff this morning anyway. After 'breaking in' the bus and moving their stuff from the other the boys had been called down to press so Aby had grabbed her camera and headed out. About halfway through the day David had caught her and she'd spent a good amount of time talking with him then going down and watching their set since it was early.   
She'd done her three songs with Black Veil Brides and come back stage for the rest of the set. Falling in Reverse was the last to play today but she hadn't seen any of them since that morning. As Andy started the last song she left Juliet and headed over to the other stage.   
Jacky was there tuning up his guitar. Ronnie was leaning on his elbows on a speaker case watching him a small smile curving his lips. Aby stayed just out of sight. Maybe it was creepy but sometimes she just liked to watch the way he and Jacky looked at one another. She still had a hard time believing either of them were hers. And while she loved Jacky every bit as much it had been Ronnie that drew her in. Like a magnet. And it wasn't just the way he looked. It was just...him. The way he tried so hard to put on this badass front for the world, and she supposed he needed too, but she loved the other side of him. The goofy one that stayed up late with her drinking fruity cocktails and tipsy painted her fingernails. Which was why there was now a stain on the couch upstairs. That was him. And that was the man she and Jacky loved.   
From her vantage point she let her eyes roam over him. From his hair that was fading back to brown to those impossibly long lashes any girl would kill for. She followed the tattoos along his jaw to those perfect lips she loved kissing. His long hair fell over bare shoulders down his back. He had on black boots and white jeans that rode low enough on his hips it was probably illegal. Thank god he had shorts on under them.   
Trying to be quiet, Abigayl snuck up behind him and put her hands on his hips as she leaned into his back.   
"There you are. Where were you?"  
Abigayl couldn't help but grin as Ronnie turned around to wrap his arms around her.   
"With Juliet watching Bvb's set. You're looking extremely sexy today. With a mood to match. Good day?"  
He nodded. "Yup, went to press had a good time. Court wants an interview with me and you sometime while she's here. Then we went back to the bus to get ready for the show. Had my way with your boyfriend in the shower and now I'm here."   
Aby faltered as a wave of heat went through her body as images of the two of them in that shower flooded her head. "Wish I could have been there for that. Anyways, I'm glad your first day went okay. David said he wanted to talk to you before we leave tonight. I have no idea what it's about. You ready to get up there and sing your little heart out?"  
He smiled and kissed her forehead. "I am. All relaxed and ready to go. I'll go talk to him before I come back to the bus."   
"Alright. Go do your thing." She said as Troy started waving at them to come on stage. 

"Where'd Ronnie go?"  
Abigayl kicked her shoes off as she walked into the bus and Jacky followed her.   
"To talk to David. He wants Ronnie to sing Sellouts with him the next couple of days. I'm sure it won't take long."  
She heard Jacky's light laugh. "Let him take as long as he wants." He said, wrapping his arms around her waist before she could make it to the back room. "Haven't had much time with you lately."  
Aby turned in his arms. "Not alone you haven't. I'm sorry."  
"I don't want an apology." He said, pressing her back against the door.   
"What do you want?"   
He didnt answer, just dropped to his knees and ran his hands up the back of her legs. His hands were rough against her skin sending chills through her body and she had to grab on to the doorknob to stay upright when his his fingers glided the inside of her thighs. She felt stupid but as Jacky pushed her dress up she grabbed the hem and held it up for him. Her entire body shuddered as his fingers brushed her core.   
"Jacky..." She ground out as his fingers pushed into her.   
The second his tongue replaced his hand she cried out, fingers digging into his hair as he licked at her.   
Jacky's hand wrapped around her ankle and bent her knee so her leg draped over his shoulder giving him better access and holy hell did he ever take advantage of it. Abigayl tried to hold it together as his tongue flicked over her and his fingers continued their torturous in and out but it so wasn't working.   
"Jacks! Oh fuck!" She felt Jacky's hum of approval as she came so hard stars swam into her vision.   
Using the door to hold her up, she put her hands on either side of his face and he just grinned up at her. On an impulse she leaned down and licked across his lips tasting a mix of herself and smoke.   
He had no idea how much of a turn on he was. Abigayl was continually shocked by him. One minute he was giving her mind blowing orgasms and the next he was back to that innocent look everyone bought into. She loved that about him though.   
"Did I miss something?"   
Abigayl broke away from Jacky's kiss to see Ronnie shutting the bus door behind him.   
"Nope. Everything's good. Why don't you come to bed and we can celebrate a successful first show?"   
Jacky stood up beside her and reached out for Ronnie's hand.   
"It's nice, you know, having everything go right for once. No fighting no anything. I think this year is going to be a lot better than last time." He replied, putting an arm around Jacky's waist.   
"Yeah, this time I won't get pregnant!" Abigayl teased.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 2.17

July 3rd  
Noblesville, Indiana

 

It was way too early in the morning for this shit.  
Jacky checked the time on his phone for the thousandth time though he knew the numbers hadn't changed. It was seven in the morning. Today was their last day on the tour which he was surprised to realize he really wasn't ready to go home yet. This had been a good tour. But they weren't really going home anyway. Next stop was Miami Florida. Abigayl had been talking a lot lately about feeling like she needed to get out of LA to clear her head so Ronnie had taken advantage of her need to get back to Miami. Jacky didn't really understand why he liked that city so much. If you wanted glitz and glam then he guessed that was the place to go. There was definitely a high flow of money there. That's probably what it was. A chance for him to flex that fame a little. Personally Jacky couldn't care less. If there was a way he could make music and people hear it without having to know who he was he would have taken that route in a heartbeat.   
He did like the beach though...  
But before the day even started they had an interview with AP magazine. Ronnie, Danny, Andy, Alex, and Jeff had been called for it saying to bring any other members of their respective bands that wanted to come. That guaranteed this interview was going to be the worst thing to ever happen. All of them in one place was not a good idea. Especially if the interviewer actually expected any serious answers from them. He really did not want to go. And yet here he was sitting in the front room waiting for Ryan and Ronnie to head down to press.   
Out of habit Jacky checked his phone one more time. Two minutes had passed, but he also had a notification from instagram. Normally he would have just deleted it and moved on but he would do anything at that moment to make time go faster so he clicked it and opened the photo. The picture took a little longer to load so he read through the text to see why he had been tagged. 

@FenderGirl34: Forgot all about this! My vacation to Vegas earlier this year I went to the Encore and let's just say the party was pretty hot 0.o I wonder if @AbigaylTY, @Jacklonewolf and @Beccadoesthephotos knows about this?? Leads me to believe maybe @RonnieRadke isn't so straight edge as he wants everyone to believe. From what I saw he was way past wasted.

Jacky scrolled back up as the photo finally loaded and his stomach turned. The girl had caught Ronnie and Ryan kissing. Why? Why the hell had they done that? Of all people why Ryan?   
He clicked his phone off and refrained from pitching it agaisnt the wall. Jacky bit down on his tongue just to keep himself from screaming. He hadn't felt this kind of anger since the night he thought Ronnie had proposed to Abigayl and left him behind. And there was no stopping it. He tasted blood in his mouth as the door to the bunks opened and Ryan stepped out pulling a hoodie over his head.   
His first instinct was to punch the guy. Just beat the ever living shit out of him. Except the longer he looked at him the less he wanted to hit Ryan. No that's not who he wanted to kill right now.   
"J? Bud you okay? You look like you're about to pass out or cry or something." Ryan asked seriously.  
"I'm fine." He answered and let Ryan past him to sit on the couch.   
"You're full of shit but I'll leave you alone and let you go ape shit on whoever that look was meant for."  
Good idea. And what do you know? They just walked through the door.  
Ronnie didn't even have time to look up before he got a good right hook in and went back for a second before Ryan grabbed him from behind and pulled him backwards.   
"What the fuck Jacky?!"   
He didn't respond but lunged forward at him again. Ryan kept him in place against him.  
"How could you do that Ronnie? How could you kiss Ryan? Of all fucking people? Why?!"  
Ronnie let out a long breath. "Jacky could you have at least let me explain? When did you get so fucking violent?"  
"Pretty sure you and Aby have made me this way. Not like either of you would talk first. And right now I don't really want to talk. I just want to rip your head off. Ryan let me go!"  
Ryan's arms tightened around his waist. "I don't think that's a good idea."  
Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew Ryan was right. Damn him if that didn't crank him even higher.   
"I can't believe you'd do that-"  
"Have you just completely forgotten about Marissa? How dare I? You weren't even in the picture when it happened so as far as I can tell it wasn't any of your business who I chose to sleep with. Only Abigayl's. You don't get to have an opinion."  
"Sleep with?" Jacky felt bile rise up his throat. He was going to be sick. "Please tell me you didn't. Please." By this time he could feel tears break loose but there was nothing he could do about it since Ryan had his arms pinned to his sides.   
Ronnie didn't answer. The answer was pretty obvious from the look in those big brown eyes.   
He reached out to him but Jacky jerked back as much as possible. "Don't touch me. Don't you dare fucking touch me. Ryan let me go. I need out of here."  
Ryan hesitated. "You gonna go do something stupid?"  
"No. That's your job." He snapped back.   
Ryan released him and he made for the door. He couldn't breathe. Like all the air had been sucked out of the bus. Outside wasn't much better. The early morning wind was colder than he thought it would be.   
Taking off towards the back of bus land he found Attila's bus and knocked loudly. Chelsie was their drummer's cousin so she'd decided to stay with them since the FIR bus was getting crowded.   
Chelsie answered the door a few minutes later. "Jacky? Honey it's seven in the morning. What are you doing out here?"  
"I need to talk to Max. Please."  
She frowned at him then turned away. A few seconds later she came back and tossed a big grey hoodie at him. "That's Max's. Too cold to be out here in a T-shirt J. Max isn't here. He said something about needing to be up for an interview this morning. You probably just missed him. Jacky are you okay?"  
He pulled Max's hoodie on and silently thanked Chelsie for knowing he would be freezing. "No, but I don't want to talk about it with anyone else right now. I'm sure Max will tell you later anyway." He replied sarcastically.  
"Alright. Well I hope you can find him."  
"Me too. Sorry for waking you up."

Chelsie was right. He found Max just outside the bus, fresh cigarette between his lips.   
"You look like someone spit in your Wheaties. What's up man?" Max said, digging a lighter out of his pocket.  
"Thought you stopped smoking?"  
"Down to a pack a week. I tried cold turkey and Chelsie said it made me an asshole so I'm trying this way. Seems to be working. But I'm not the problem here. Tell me what's wrong."  
Jacky shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Can we go someplace else? I don't want anyone to hear."  
Max gave him a curious look then just nodded.  
Once they were away from the buses and out in the venue where everyone was running around setting up tents and stages Jacky took a deep breath. "This was sent to me this morning." He said handing his phone to Max. "It makes me the biggest hypocrite in the world after what happened with Marissa and I but...I don't know. I can't handle this."  
"Jacky how do you even know anything more than this happened?" He asked, handing his phone back. "It may have just been that one kiss."  
Jacky shook his head. "No, it wasn't. Ronnie admitted that much this morning. He said it happened while I was moved out. That it's not my problem. And it's not, I guess. I mean Abigayl cheated, I cheated, and he had Melody in our house before I moved out when Abigayl left. So it's not like this is the first time. But the thought of...of him and Ryan...fuck. Thinking about him touching Ryan like he does me makes me sick. Literally sick."  
"You feel that way when he started hooking up with Melody?"  
"No. I mean it pissed me off but it didn't make me feel like this. And like I said, I wasn't even in the picture. I have no right to be this angry."  
Max stopped walking suddenly and turned towards him. "Becuase it was another guy?" He shook his head. "No, you didn't flip shit when you found out what happened between him and I in Paris."  
Jacky thought about that for a moment. That really hadn't bothered him much either. "Becuase it was different. It happened twice and I understood why. And it never went further than that kiss. He LET Ryan go further. Which means he was in to it too. I sound like a fucking girl right now."  
Max just laughed. "You don't sound like a girl. I think I know how you feel. You knew how he was with women before you even got into a relationship with him. But you were the only guy he had any interest in and to be honest I think you still are. Obviously Ronnie isn't pursuing Ryan or anything. I think it was just a one time thing and if they really were that drunk that's probably all it was. Seriously J, he loves you more than anything. Maybe even more than he does Abigayl. You're going to have to trust me on this one. You need to go back to the bus and talk to him. Find out what really happened."  
Jacky ground the toe of his boot into the dirt. "You're probably right. I think maybe I'm being a little bit selfish. I guess part of me still wants to be the only one. I love Abigayl, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I want all of his attention. Is that wrong?"  
"No. I think that's normal. My advice? Maybe you and he should take a little break and go somewhere just the two of you. I think Abigayl would understand. I know you guys are taking off for Miami tomorrow but maybe you should change plans. Chelsie and I are going to follow the tour to Canada and spend a couple days up there. Aby is more than welcome to come with us. Go talk to Ronnie. Please. For all our sakes."  
Max was right. At least about one thing. They did need to talk.  
Ryan and Ronnie were just leaving the bus when he got back.   
"Hey you coming to that interview still?" Ryan asked.   
"I um, can you be a couple minutes late?" He asked looking to Ronnie instead.   
"Jacky we're supposed to be down there right now. I'm sorry, I don't have time to talk. We can talk after okay?"  
No, so not okay. He didn't want to wait.  
"Ronnie please can we do this now?" Now it sounded like he was begging.  
"Ryan, will you go ahead and tell them I'm on my way?"   
Ryan hesitated only a moment before nodding and walking away from the bus.   
Ronnie let out a heavy sigh and looked down at him. "There really isn't anything to say Jacky. Unless you want to hit me again?"  
Jacky shook his head. "No, I'm not going to hit you again, but I'm not sorry either. Why didn't you tell me what happened with Ryan?"  
"Jacky you weren't even living with us. Abigayl knows. Becca knows. Nobody else needed to. We were in Vegas and drinking. It wasn't like I planned it. Why don't you go inside and settle down a little bit then we'll talk when I come back okay?"  
"I don't want to talk about this in front of everyone else."  
Jacky flinched but refrained from pulling away as Ronnie laid his hand agaisnt his cheek. "We won't. Jacky I swear I never meant to hurt you."  
"Just go. We'll talk when you're done."

For the second time that day time seemed to have stopped. How long could that interview possibly be? Although with that many people there's no telling what kind of trouble they had caused.   
Jacky ungracefully sat down on the couch and blew a cloud of mint smoke into the air watching the little whisps disappear towards the cieling. It was another twenty minutes before the bus door opened and Ryan and Becca came through the door with baby Alessa.   
"Ronnie's waiting for you on the other bus. Abigayl is still with Luna over with Asking so you guys will have some privacy." Ryan said but wouldn't look at him.   
"Thank you. For the record Ryan I'm not mad at you."  
Ryan finally met his gaze and just nodded before following his wife into the back room.  
Punching in the code he stepped on to the other bus. Just like Ryan said, it was empty.   
"Ronnie?" He called, walking back through the bunks.   
No answer.  
In the back room he found Ronnie's phone laying on the bed. He never left his phone behind. Picking it up he clicked the screen on and put in the password. Apparently before the thing had been forgotten he'd been going through pictures. Pictures of him.   
"Sorry, Dahlia caught me for a min- Ah, I wondered where I'd left that."  
Jacky looked down at the phone in his hand again before handing it over to Ronnie.  
"It was just laying there. I..."  
"I've got nothing to hide J. If I didn't want you to see something do you think I would have given you the password?"  
He shrugged. "Please tell me what happened with Ryan. I don't want to know but I have to."  
"Like I said, we were drinking. A lot. We went to Encore and he said something about watching you and me that one time. He almost sounded jealous. I didn't think it would hurt anyone considering Abigayl and Becca had been messing around too. It was just the one time and we've never even talked about it. You weren't in the picture. I never would have let it happen if you had been Jacky. I don't understand why you're so upset about this."  
Jacky took a deep breath. Then another one. "I just...don't like the idea of you touching him like that." He replied quietly.   
He caught Ronnie's quick smile but didn't understand it.   
"What?"  
"You J." He said, closing the distance between them. Jacky tried his best not to react as his hands slid up under his shirt.   
"You aren't mad that I slept with Ryan. You're jealous."  
Putting his hands up he pushed Ronnie away from him. "I am not jealous. I'm...disgusted."  
That just made him smile again and shake his head. When he advanced again Jacky backed up only to find himself trapped by a wall.   
"You totally are jealous. Don't want me touching anyone but you hmm?" He said grabbing his wrists and holding them above his head. Jacky tried to pull away but couldn't get loose and forgot why he was trying as Ronnie kissed him then nipped at his throat.   
"I did touch him Jacky. Just like I am you now." He continued, his fingers trailing along just inside the top of his jeans.   
Jacky was too focused on the heat inside his skin to be angry at what he was saying.   
"I learned something though. Ask me what I learned J."  
"What di-" He started but the rest just came out as a cry as Ronnie bit into the skin just below his ear. His hands and thigh between his legs were the only reason Jacky wasn't on the floor at this point. But then he pulled away just slightly. Just enough for the warmth to leave him.   
"What was that?"  
"What did you learn?" He asked in a rush desperate to feel him again.   
"That you're the only one I ever want to touch again."  
As his hands were released he pulled Ronnie down to kiss him. "I'm sorry." He whispered   
"Don't be. It feels good to know that you care that much J. Do you have anywhere to be in the next couple hours?"  
He had to think about that for a second. "Um not that I can think of."  
Ronnie just grinned at him. "Good. I have plans for you."

"You gonna be okay now?"  
Jacky nodded as Ronnie tightened his arms around him and kissed along his shoulder. "I've never been...jealous like that before. That was new to me. I guess I am just selfish when it comes to you."  
"I am perfectly okay with that. Honestly Jacky I'm just as bad. Remember the first time I met Nikolai? You didn't react any worse than I did. How you reacted only bothers me becuase of what you said about Aby and I. Do you truly believe that being with the two of us has made you more apt to be violent?"  
Yeah he was really hoping Ronnie hadn't caught that little part of his outburst.   
"No. i don't think that you two have done that to me. I think that's always been in me. I can say that being around you guys has made me more in touch with mysrlf emotionally. Before I moved to the states nothing really happened to me that made me feel anything as strong as I have here. So I guess I don't have very good control over it. So yeah in a way you have done it to me but mainly you've just drove me insane which I don't mind. Ronnie? Did you like it? Being with Ryan?"  
Jacky felt him hold his breath for a moment like he was thinking about what to say.   
"To be honest I don't really know. I was so drunk. I don't know if I've ever been that wasted with just alcohol. I know what we did and I remember the next morning but I can't really remember how it felt or anything like that. So I don't know. I don't care. I can tell you it was like sleeping with a stranger. There was nothing personal about it. I guess I'm glad I don't remember."  
That at least was nice to hear.   
"Max talked to me about Abigayl going with them to Canada for a few days. I think that's a good idea. You and I haven't really had any time to ourselves since you moved back in. What do you think?"  
Jacky looked down at their joined hands. At the black bands around their fingers.   
"I'd like to spend a couple days with you in Miami, yes. But only if it's okay with Abigayl. I don't want to alienate her either."

 

"So you guys are just going to run away together to Miami and leave me behind? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"  
"No! Abigayl that's not it at all. It's just a couple of days then you can fly down and join us. I just feel like it would be good for us to have a few days to ourselves..."  
Abigayl threw her hands up in the air. "I can't believe you're actually trying to push me off on to Max and Chelsie."  
Ronnie couldn't let this go on any longer. Grabbing Abigayl around the waist he lifted her off her feet. She let out a little squeal then started laughing.   
"Jacky she is totally fucking with you babe. Are you actually falling for this?"   
Jacky cocked his head at her. "Thats not funny Aby. I thought you were mad at me." He said pulling a pouty face.   
Ronnie let her go and she wrapped her arms around him. Now who was falling for what?  
"I think it's a good idea too J. Besides, I've always wanted to go to Canada. Chelsie has family there. You boys go and have fun. I'll meet up with you in a few days."  
"Take lots of pictures for me." He added in. "I doubt I'll ever get to see it in person. 'Cause you know, I'm a murderer and everything."  
Abigayl rolled her eyes at him. "I will take pictures for you. Just do me a favor and enjoy your time. Don't let Jacky feel guilty the whole time okay?"  
"I'll keep him distracted. Weird you're not going to be in the states for the 4th of July though. We were gonna go watch the fireworks on the beach."  
"Won't kill me to miss it just once." Aby replied. "At least we're 'together' for it this year."  
The sadness in her voice broke his heart remembering where they had been last year. Jacky must have felt it too as they both hugged her between them.   
"This time will be better..." She whispered, more to herself than to them. "But first you guys have one more show and so do I. So come on, let's get moving."   
"Whatever you say coach." He smarted back.   
Abigayl retaliated by slapping them both on the ass. "Game time boys!"  
Jacky just shook his head at her.

"How short is too short?"  
Ronnie turned to where Abigayl was sticking her head out of the bus door. Alessa, who was sitting on his lap, turned to look at her too.   
"Depends on what you're talking about I guess. Why?"  
"You tell me." She said, pushing the door open and hopping down on to the pavement.   
She had on a cut off Breathe Carolina shirt that he was pretty sure was Jacky's and a pair of blue jean shorts that covered less than her Halloween costume had.   
"I feel like my ass is going to fall out of the back of these." She whined as she turned around.  
"Abigayl there are children present. Put that away."  
She gave him an unamused glare. "Asshole. I'm gonna go change."  
"Aby stop. They're not as bad as you think. Still covers more than your swimsuit. You look fine. Come here a sec." Ronnie looked around to see if anyone else was around. Luckily Ash and Jeff just happened to walk by. "Ash! Take Alessa for a minute?"  
Ashley rolled his eyes. "Duh. We're headed back to Harlot's bus. We'll have her there, but I'll text Becca and let her know." He replied as he took Alessa from his arms.   
"Thanks man. She likes you more anyway."  
Alessa grabbed on to the star necklace Ash always wore and put her other thumb in her mouth. Becca unsurprisingly turned out to be a great mother but sometimes Ronnie worried that she was a little too trusting. Hell, she'd left her daughter with him after all.   
Once the two of them were out of sight he sat down next to Abigayl and pulled her chair closer to his. She pulled her feet up under her and leaned on the arm rest. As far as he knew she hadn't worn shoes the last few days. Said it was just too hot. Danny had been right about that. Aby had an extensive shoe collection at home and most often then not she was barefoot.   
"What's doing?"   
"Aby are you really okay with Jacky and I going to Miami without you tomorrow?" He asked as she twisted her fingers in his shirt.   
"I am. I'm excited to go with Chelsie and Max actually. And I'm happy that you guys will have the opportunity to have some down time together. Don't stress baby." She said, putting her hands on either side of his face.   
With one arm around her waist, Ronnie pulled her on to his lap. "It's sometimes hard to make everyone happy."  
She frowned. "I think you look into it too much. I am perfectly happy. Are you gonna come watch me sing?"  
He scoffed. "Of course I am. Then I'm gonna get on stage and lip sync some songs then bring you back here and not let you go until our flight leaves in the morning. How's that sound?"  
Abigayl smiled then laid her head on his shoulder. He tightened his arms around her, holding her close. His barefoot anime angel. 

 

Water. She needed so much water.  
Abigayl grabbed a can out of a cooler by the side of the stage and pushed her hair back over her shoulder. Man it was hot today. The kids, though enthusiastic, looked exhausted. Asking's set had gone well though. Perfect way to end the tour. She had decided to ride with the boys to the next show so they were excited about that too.   
"May I escort you to the other stage?"  
Abigayl laughed as Ash held his hand out to her.  
"Why yes sir you may. Where's Jeff at?" She asked as she looped her arm through his.  
"Back on the bus. He's still got Alessa. Wish we could just kidnap her." He joked but Abigayl could tell he meant it. Ashely loved kids and though she knew he was very happy with his relationship it was obvious the not getting to be a parent part kind of got him down sometimes.   
"I kinda know how you feel. Mycah would be turning two this year. Last year we did pretty good not dwelling on it between trying to tip toe around Jacky and people being around for Ronnie's birthday. This year it just seems heavier. That doesn't even make sense. I'm sorry."  
"Don't be sorry. Not for that. Ever. I think I would rather never have a child than go through what you guys did. But remember we're all here for you if you need us Aby."  
Abigayl squeezed his hand. "Thank you Ash."

FIR's set was going by extremely quick and for that Abigayl was marginally thankful. She'd been okay up on stage but now it seemed like all of her energy had disappeared. Like she was literally thinking about laying down on one of the drum cases and going to sleep. Actually that sounded fairly appealing. Trying not to draw attention to herself, she left the side of the stage and laid on her side on one of Ryan's cases. With the music blaring around her she drifted off during Jacky's Goodbye Graceful solo.   
She woke up to someone shaking her shoulder. It was J and he looked worried.   
"Aby? Are you alright love?" He asked, pushing her hair back from her face.   
She blinked, trying to clear her head. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just got tired. I'm sorry I didn't see the whole set."  
Jacky gave her a smile that lit up his eyes and her heart. "I think we can forgive you for missing half a set considering you have sat through tons of others. Surely you get tired of it."  
Abigayl sat up and shook her head. "I will never get tired of it. Even before I knew either of you I could have watched you play a million times without getting burnt out. I've seen a lot of bands J. There are so many of them that if they're having an off day or something that shows in their performance because they know that no matter how little effort they put into it the fans are still going to praise them for it. You guys are never like that. No matter what you always give those kids a hundred percent."  
Jacky pondered that for moment before kneeling down on the ground in front of her. "Can I tell you a secret?"  
"Of course you can."  
"Sometimes when I'm up on stage I turn around and see all those kids and get so nervous. Messed up a couple times becuase of it. But then I look over at you and you're singing along and smiling and it helps me. No one's forcing you to stay on the side of the stage and watch us night after night yet there you are. I guess knowing that you believe in what I love as much as I do makes me stronger." He finished, looking down at the ground.  
Abigayl laid her hand against his cheek and forced him to look at her. "I do. Even if it wasn't music. No matter what you wanted Jacky I would always support you. I cannot stop myself from smiling when I'm watching you and Ronnie becuase I look out there and I see all those fans, especially when we're in bigger places like London. In one way or another you all have touched them. They come becuase of that and I'm so proud of every single one of you. How could I not be?"  
"You're pretty amazing Mrs. Radke."  
"You're not so bad yourself Mr. Vincent." She teased, leaning forward to kiss him.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 2.18

July 4th  
Noblesville , Indiana 

"Aby, baby, we gotta go."  
Abigayl tightened her arms around Ronnie's waist, face pressed into his shirt. "Just two more minutes."   
Jacky leaned in to kiss her, a happy smile on his face. "That's what you said two minutes ago."  
"Can you blame me?" She asked as she finally let go of him. "So I'll see you guys on the 7th then."  
"Yep." Jacky said, giving her one last hug.   
Watching them walk through the gate was harder than she had thought it would be. It was only a few days, why was she getting all emotionally stressed out over it?   
Half an hour later she was on Asking's bus headed north for Toronto. Unfortunately her excitement was currently being outweighed by a throbbing headache that was making her sick to her stomach. Laying back she put her head in James's lap and put her palms into her eyes.   
"Baby girl what's wrong with you?"   
"I don't know. My head is pounding."  
He pushed her hair back and massaged her temples. She could feel the tension release and it was such a relief she felt like crying.   
"Aby, what's wrong with you?" Ben asked as he walked into the front room. "You getting some kind of motion sickness or some shit?"  
"I don't get motion sickness Ben."  
"Well something's wrong with you. You look shitty as fuck."  
Aby winced at his loud voice. "Love you too." She replied, sitting back up even as her skull threatened to split apart. Ben sat down on the couch with them, pulling her into his arms.   
"Seriously though." He said more quietly this time. "What's wrong?"  
Aby shook her head against the soft, almost nonexistent fabric of his shirt. "I don't know. Maybe I should just go lay down."  
Before she could even protest Ben lifted her off the couch and carried her back to the bunks then crawled up in next to her.   
"You're hot Aby, and not in a good way."  
"I was feeling kind of tired this morning but I chalked that up to not getting much sleep last night. But then on the way back from the airport I got light headed. I'm sure I'll be fine just a bug or something."  
Ben frowned at her. "Maybe. Rest up. We'll see how you feel when we get to the border."  
"Sounds like a plan. Love you Ben."  
He kissed her forehead before sliding out of the bunk and covering her up. "Love you too Peanut. Now go to sleep."

Sleep hadn't helped. Not one bit.   
Abigayl leaned her head against the cold shower wall. They had made it across the border and into a hotel. Her headache hadn't diminished in the slightest. She had thought a hot shower would help but it had only made things worse so she'd turned the temperature down and leaned against the wall. Maybe she just a bug. Hopefully of the 24 hour type.   
"Abigayl? Baby are you in there still?"   
Aby opened her eyes as Cameron's voice came through the door.   
"Ye- yeah I am." She said hoping he could hear her.   
No answer came back but a few seconds later the door opened and she was vaguely aware of being drug out of the shower and wrapped in big white towel.   
Cameron laid her down on the bed he was sharing with Sam and pulled the covers up over her before crawling in and wrapping his arms around her.   
"You'll feel better in the morning. Just relax and try to sleep."   
Aby wanted to argue but despite how long she had slept already she was still exhausted, so instead she cuddled into him and closed her eyes.   
"Do you ever miss us?" She asked suddenly.   
Where had that come from?   
She felt his breath hitch for a moment before leveling out again.   
"Sometimes. I miss having you around. You're still my best friend. Why do you ask?"  
"I don't know. Sometimes I miss us being together just because it was so...easy. We never fought. Never ran away from each other..."  
Cam tightened his arms around her. "We weren't together very long Aby. Maybe we would have fought too. We were kind of perfect though huh?"  
She nodded. "We were. I wish my relationship now was like that. It seems more like bad luck broken up by small periods of happiness. Shouldn't it be the other way around?"  
"Abigayl, go to sleep love. We can talk about this in the morning if you still want to."

 

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to shut your phone off while the plane takes off."  
Jacky looked up at the stewardess, a pretty brunette with an even prettier smile.   
"Yeah, of course. Sorry." He replied, switching his phone off before sliding it into his pocket. The woman gave him a smile that was comforting, not flirty, before continuing down the isle.   
"That was Danny." He said, turning back to Ronnie. "He said Abigayl was complaining of a migrane and she went back to sleep. I hope she's not getting sick."   
A worried look past over his face before he could hide it. "She's been getting worn out way too easy lately."  
The cabin lights were extinguished as the plane started to roll backwards. "You don't think she could be..."  
Ronnie just shrugged and laid his head back against the seat. "I guess it's possible. It would explain her behavior lately but I don't wanna get my hopes up."  
Guilt weighed heavy on his heart when he thought about everything that had happened before. They had told him exactly what had happened when Mycah was born but try as me may Jacky couldn't remember it. He couldn't feel the emotion he knew must have been there before the wreck.   
"I'm sorry that I don't remember Mycah." He blurted out before he could think better of it.   
"Don't be sorry. Honestly I'm glad you don't remember that."   
"Ronnie you don't-"  
"Yes Jacky I do. I hated what that did to you. After the wreck you were...different. You were happy again. That's why Abigayl and I didn't want to push the truth on you. We thought it would be better for you if we didn't."  
Jacky frowned at him. "I wasn't happy before?"  
"It wasn't so much that you weren't happy." Ronnie answered, but he wouldn't look at him. "You were just different. You're not naive Jacky but you had this, I guess aura, of innocence before. And after Mycah was born and Aby leaving and the two of us breaking up it just seemed like that had been taken from you. Your light. It was gone. You'd become bitter and cynical. The night we got back together you told me you'd become someone you hated. But after the accident it was like someone had hit your reset button. I, we, just wanted you to be happy again. So yes, I am happy you don't remember."  
Jacky wasn't sure what to say to that. "Do you want a baby?"  
They were silent for some time, the plane slowly ascending until it leveled out high amongst bright yellow and pink clouds of early morning.   
"I think I do." Ronnie finally replied.   
Jacky waited for him to continue but when it became apparent that he was staying quiet he laced his fingers through Ronnie's and closed his eyes.   
"The timing is all wrong though." Ronnie whispered some five minutes later.   
Lifting his head he watched Ronnie absently flick the air conditioning vent back and forth.   
"The timing is wrong? What does that even mean?"  
"If Aby's pregnant then you weren't even around when it happened. That's what I mean. Jacky, I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I don't want to fight with either of you anymore and I especially don't want to fight over a kid."  
How had he already thought all of that through?   
"We won't fight. I understand what you're saying but it's not going to happen."  
Dark brown eyes narrowed on him, heavy even in the darkened cabin.   
"You'd really do that? Love my kid like that?"  
Jacky nodded. "If you'll let me. Yes. Or on the other hand if she is pregnant and this isn't what you want for your baby then I will willingly step away. I'll do whatever it takes without arguing."  
Ronnie gave him a weak smile before wrapping his fingers around the back of Jacky's neck and lightly kissing him. "You're not going anywhere. No arguing. We'll deal with it when it happens. For now let's just enjoy our vacation. Ready for Miami?"  
It was more difficult than he thought it would be to keep the grimace off his face. "Yeah, sure....No. Ronnie to be honest I'm not. You know how I feel about being in the city like that."  
"I know J. You're just going to have to trust me on this one."

 

"Jacky? Hey buddy you okay over there?"  
With way too much effort Jacky opened his eyes and lifted his head from the head rest of the Mercedes Roadster they'd rented. It had started already. Why'd they need the flashy car?   
"Yeah, I'm fine. I hate planes. Flying wears me out."  
"It's gonna take awhile to get to the hotel. Especially in this traffic. You can sleep if you want." He replied as they stopped in yet another line of traffic.   
"You sure?"  
Ronnie nodded. "Yep. I'm good. Sleep."  
"Alright. Thanks."   
Leaning the seat back as far as he could he rolled on to his side. The rhythm of the engine along with whatever Ronnie was humming to himself had him lights out in under five minutes. 

"J? Come on baby wake up."  
Jacky slowly sat up as his back cracked into place and he rubbed his eyes. He waited for the noises of the city around him to close in so when nothing came he looked out through the windshield. No traffic. No people. No...city. They were parked in the small driveway of a rather odd looking house. It was dark blue and three stories high but slim. There were other houses to the left and right but you could have put two or three houses between each one. Between the houses he could see the beach. That made sense. Beach houses. But why were they here? They had reservations at a nice hotel downtown.   
"Ronnie where are we?" He asked as they climbed out of the little car.   
"Our home for the next week or so. Saved enough money not staying downtown that I was able to tack on a few days to our trip. Come on. I'll show you around."  
His curiosity getting the best of him, Jacky grabbed his suitcase and followed Ronnie into the house. Inside was more spacious and open than he'd originally expected, lots of windows out the back.   
"Loft bedrooms upstairs, living room in the middle, kitchen downstairs. Little walkway down to the beach. It's not fancy but it's...homey."  
Jacky couldn't help but smile as he looked around at white walls and blue trim. Beach decor washed over by sunlight. "You did this for me...didn't you?"  
Ronnie dropped his bags and looked around the kitchen. "Nah man just thought maybe it'd be nice not to have to deal with all the people downtown. And it's not like we're that far from the city. And we've got a private beach. So that's not horrible."  
Jacky shook his head and walked up behind him, arms wrapping around his waist. "Whatever you say."  
Ronnie didn't answer but he put his hands over Jacky's arms. "Didn't do it for you Jacky. Just changed my mind."  
He was such a bad liar.   
"Well, whatever the reason may be. I don't care. Thank you for doing this. I like it here." He said, resting his forehead against his back.   
"You're welcome J." He replied, a smile in his voice. "And we can watch the fireworks from the beach here tonight. If you want to that is."  
"Of course I do. Let's unpack and go eat then we can come back for the beach."

After spending a few hours wandering around Miami and getting in the shopping that Jacky hated but turned Ronnie into a thirteen year old girl with daddy's credit card, they went for a late lunch and Jacky was happy to be taking home an ass load of sushi.   
"You look like a kid in a candy store right now." Ronnie said as he leaned over the bar watching him put everything into the fridge.   
"I love sushi more than I love you." He replied shutting the door behind him and heading for the stairs. Jacky only got about halfway up the second flight of stairs before Ronnie grabbed his right ankle and he hit the carpeted stairs on his knees.   
"You love sushi more than me huh?"  
Jacky tried his best not to laugh as he rolled over. "Maybe I do. What are you gonna do about it?"  
He let out a hiss as Ronnie bit into his neck, pushing him back against the stairs.   
Jacky managed to slip out from under him and haul ass upstairs, locking the bedroom door behind him. Two seconds later fingertips drummed on the other side of the door.   
"Jacky....why'd you lock me out?"  
Good lord that voice was gonna have him unlocking that door in a heart beat.   
"Come on baby just unlock the door..."   
Like silk down his spine. No. No. He couldn't do this right now.   
"I'm not opening the door Ronnie. I want to go down to the beach. If I let you in we're not gonna leave the room till morning. I'll meet you downstairs."  
There was silence on the other side of the door for so long he thought he was alone.   
"Fine. Downstairs."   
Jacky smiled to himself and changed clothes. By the time he got back downstairs Ronnie was sitting out on the back deck. From his vantage point Jacky watched him dig little shells out of the sand at his feet. He brushed the sand off with fingers that seemed too big for the project then laid them on the deck next to him.   
Jacky didn't really believe in the innocence that Ronnie had spoken of but this he did. From the very first time they met Jacky had been dumbfounded by the childlike naivety that Ronnie still possessed despite everything he'd been through. He still had that. How, he didn't have a clue. But that natural characteristic was what Jacky had fallen in love with. He couldn't imagine watching that ever be extinguished. In a roundabout way he knew how Ronnie and Abigayl must have felt about him.   
"Hey what you doing there?" He asked, sitting down beside the shells.   
"Waiting on your slow ass."   
"Are you mad at me?"  
Ronnie didn't even bother looking up from the tiny blue shell in his hands. "Why would I be mad at you?"  
"For locking you out of the room earlier?"  
He scoffed at that. "No Jacky. I will never be mad at you for telling me no. I know I ask a lot of you and Aby. All the times you don't push me away when I reach for you? No way in hell I'd be be mad."  
Jacky couldn't really disagree with that. There were many nights and early mornings when he'd been exhausted but rough hands on his skin told him he wouldn't be sleeping. Insatiable didn't really cover it.   
"Well I'll try not to let it happen too often." He replied hoping to lighten the tense air between them.   
"Don't worry about it J. Really."  
Jacky just nodded and looked out at the ocean, watching the waves crash on to the beach. "Wish I'd brought a surfboard." He mused.  
"I don't think TSA would have appreciated that." Ronnie teased him. "You really think I'd bring you to the beach without a board? Look behind you."  
Confused, Jacky turned to see four long boards hanging on the outside wall of the house.   
"What are we waiting for then?" He asked, jumping up to grab one. "Come on, I wanna watch the old guy fall off the surfboard."  
Ronnie flipped him off but couldn't stop himself from smiling. "I'm ten times better at this then you'll ever be kid."

 

"Got about ten minutes before the fireworks are supposed to start. Wanna call Abigayl?"  
When he nodded Jacky grabbed his phone off the surfboard that lay in the sand beside them. Niether of them were bothered by the sand but electronics probably would be. Ronnie closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the waves breaking while Jacky called Aby's number. He felt a little guilty for having such a good day when she no doubt still felt like crap.  
"Hello?"   
He opened his eyes as Danny's voice came over the line.  
"Hey D where's Aby?" Jacky asked.  
"Sorry man, she's asleep. Cam found her asleep in the shower earlier and put her to bed. I don't think she's gonna be awake any time tonight."   
Jacky looked up at him, worry in his eyes. The last time Aby had acted like that was the night before they'd gone to Liza's.  
"Alright." Ronnie replied, taking the phone from J's hand. "Just tell her to call us whenever she wakes up please."  
"Will do Ronald. Will do. Have a good night guys." Danny said before the line went dead.   
"Asshole."   
Jacky put his hand over his mouth and turned away but Ronnie could tell the guy was trying his best not to laugh, which considering the news Danny had delivered, was a good thing.   
"Just laugh. Don't hold back on my account."  
And of course he took that literally. Jacky fell back on to the sand laughing. "Mr. Ronald Joseph Radke. It's been forever since I've heard someone call you that." He said, putting his arm over his eyes.   
Knowing damn well they were going to end up covered in sand and not giving a single fuck he leaned over Jacky, trailing fingertips down his chest.   
"Whatever Jaquelyn Casey Vincent." He teased, kissing along the exposed line of his jaw.   
Jacky laughed again and laced his fingers behind his neck. "I think I like just Ronnie better."  
"Good 'cause I like just Jacky." He replied, leaning down to kiss him just as the first firework exploded, illuminating the water and night sky.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 2.19

July 8th  
Miami, Florida 

 

If he was completely honest with himself the last four days had been a few of the best in his life. Abigayl had made the decision to come back to the US and visit some of her friends back in Minneapolis which left him and Jacky a couple more days together. They hadn't really gone and done much but surprisingly Ronnie didn't really care. They had spent most of the time down at the beach or just lounging around the house like they used to back in Vegas. It was relaxing in a way he hadn't realized he needed.   
Aby was supposed to fly in tomorrow morning but Jacky had suggested he fly to Minneapolis a day early and surprise her. Ronnie had protested but Jacky had insisted he wouldn't mind having a day to himself. So now he had a flight that left at 11.   
Pulling a thin white T-shirt over his still wet hair, Ronnie wandered back upstairs to the bedroom. He stopped just inside the room and and just soaked in the sight before him. Sunlight washed the room in hazy light, breeze off the ocean wafting in through the open window. Jacky lay on his back in a tangle of white sheets. One hand was under his head, his now black again hair fanned out over the pillow, the other rest on his chest. His black T-shirt had twisted around showing an appetizing strip of skin between the sheets and hem.   
Walking around the end of the bed, Ronnie sat on the edge closest to him. Gently he ran his fingertips over that strip of exposed skin until his palm was flat against his stomach. He felt Jacky's muscles tense like he was being tickled and watched his breathing change. His lips parted slightly as he traced along his skin, feeling warmth against his hand. It didn't take long before those long lashes fluttered and baby blue eyes smiled up at him.   
"You're up already? Come back to bed." Jacky said quietly.  
"I can't. I'll miss my flight. Are you sure you're going to be okay here by yourself?"  
"I'll be fine." He replied. "I plan on just hanging out here. I think we should just sell the house and move here."  
"I think Abigayl would kill us if we sold her house. But we definitely should come back. I'm really glad we did this. I needed this more than I realized."  
Jacky stopped chewing on his lip ring and smiled. "Same here."  
As they fell silent Jacky turned to look out at the beach then closed his eyes against the onslaught of sunlight. Ronnie just watched, willing himself not to touch him again. If he did there would be no getting to the airport.   
"I like it when you do that, you know?" J said quietly.  
"Do what?"  
"Look at me like that. When Nikky and I were together no one but our families knew. We couldn't act like we were together when we were in public. It got to the point that even when we were alone...I knew Nikky was attracted to me, but I think part of him hated himself for it. Part of him was ashamed of the way he felt for me. Sometimes he would lash out at me because of it. Tell me it was something I did to him. It wasn't his family that made us hide. That was all Nikky. I didn't want to be his dirty little secret for the rest of my life. He would never have looked at me like you do. Like you want me and you don't even care that anyone sees. At first it kinda freaked me out but now it's comforting."  
Ever since Dominic had mentioned Jacky's relationship with Nikolai, Ronnie had been dying to know more about what had gone down between them. Considering how prominent Nikolai's family was this situation made sense. He couldn't imagine having to act like he wasn't in love with Jacky in public. He couldn't do that.   
"I am so much more simple than people expect Jacky. Sometimes it's difficult for me to hide anything. If I feel something you're going to know it. That's just how I am. I'm not ashamed of how I feel about you. I couldn't care less what anyone else says. You make me happy. I don't need any other excuse. But I'm sure as hell not going to treat you, or Abigayl for that matter, any differently in public than I would at home. For one, I don't have the energy to keep up with that. So I'm sorry but your stuck with me making sure everyone around knows who you belong to."   
Jacky blushed and sat up, reaching out to tangle his fingers in his hair. "I am one hundred percent okay with that." He said, leaning in to kiss him.   
Ronnie let him go, knowing he had a few minutes and slid his hand up to J's throat. There was something about feeling the chords in his neck move as they kissed that was more of a turn on than Ronnie wanted to admit.   
"J...Jacky...I gotta go. I'm gonna miss my flight." He whispered, trying to pull away from him.   
The more he pulled back the closer Jacky got until he had crawled into his lap.   
"Jacks seriously."   
Jacky didn't budge, just broke away from his lips to trail down the side of his neck. With what little willpower he had left Ronnie slipped his hands under J's legs and lifted him as he stood up.  
"Put me down." He said, one hand gripping the back of his neck.   
"I forgot how light you were." Ronnie teased, laying him back on the bed. "I'm sorry Jacks but I really need to go."  
"I know. Just...let me know what happens okay?"  
He leaned down to kiss him one last time. "I will babe. And I'll text you when I land. I know you'll worry if I don't."  
Big blue eyes smiled up at him. "Can't say you don't know me."

Airplanes. The longer the flight, the dimmer his sparkling personality became. And without someone to talk to, this was torture. Seven hours later he finally pitched his bag into the back of a rental car. Nice Cadillac.   
Before starting the engine he pulled out his phone and dialed up a number he'd found yesterday.   
A woman picked up on the second ring.   
"Mystery man. Good evening." Her voice purred into his ear. The woman sounded more like Jacey had than the owner of a strip club.   
"Evening. I'm about twenty minutes from you. Abigayl doesn't know I'm coming right?" He asked.   
"Of course not. I was sworn to secrecy remember? I'll be waiting for you. Aby is upstairs with the rest of the girls now. She's in a....unusually good mood today."  
Ronnie wasn't sure what that meant.   
Lydia, the co-owner of the club where Luna had worked and now owned, was a strange person. He wasn't sure what to make of her but Luna had promised she was good people. Apparently the girls who worked there lived in the apartments above the club and that's where Aby was staying. The picture Ronnie had in his head was an old beat to hell building like most strip clubs but this one was anything but. One would think it was an up class club from the outside. The building was tall and glossy black. Fit in well downtown.   
The front door was locked so Ronnie knocked then waited. A few moments later a tall woman in jeans and a Nirvana T-shirt opened the door. Her hair was long and blond, her bright blue eyes smiled back at him.   
"Well well. Look at you. Abigayl is one lucky girl. I am Lydia by the way." She asked, holding out a heavily tattooed hand.   
He accepted. "Ronnie. And I don't know if she would say the same thing."  
Lydia smiled at him and shook her head. "Hmm. Come on. I'm walking down to get dinner. You're coming with me."  
"Uh, why?" He asked.  
"Because I want to know more about the man who apparently won over one of my girls." She replied, turning away from him.   
One of her girls?   
"Wait. Wait. I'm coming with you." He said, falling into step with her. "What do you mean one of your girls?"  
Lydia narrowed her eyes on him. "How do you think she met Danny and the others? They came into the club one night and ended up staying way past close. When I look back on it now I should have seen how detrimental it would be to the girls to get in with those boys. But at the time they wouldn't have listened. I guess Aby ended up okay though, I mean look at you. Tell me, what do you do?"

 

Man he really could get used to living here.   
Jacky dug his toes into the warm sand as he looked out over the rolling waves. The wind had picked up today, the air changing. Maybe it would rain.   
After finishing his coffee, he headed back inside and found his phone. He'd pushed Ronnie into going to surprise Abigayl for a reason. The two of them had done so much for him. Jacky wasn't sure how to make it up to Abigayl, since they had already taken her to New Orleans but he could do something for Ronnie, and he'd saved enough money to finally do it.   
Picking up his phone from the bedroom Jacky dialed Nikky's number.   
"JJ..."  
"Nikky are you in Miami yet? How close are you?" He asked, heading back downstairs.   
"Depends. What are you wearing?"   
Jacky didn't even try to stop the laugh that rippled through him. This was the Nikolai he'd fallen in love with. The flirty one that didn't give a crap if they were from different worlds. The one that would come down and watch him skate. Unfortunately he never knew which person he was going to get. Around others he was staunch and unforgiving. The flip in attitude had been extremely difficult to learn. Jacky had never really known how to act or when.   
"Nothing."   
Nikky laughed. "In that case I'm in the driveway."  
"Whatever. Bring me breakfast. I'm starving."  
"You big baby. Fine. I'll be there soon."  
As they hung up Jacky grabbed a bottle of peach tea from the fridge. Why couldn't he and Nikky have had this relationship before? Why was it so easy now?   
By the time Nikky got to the house Jacky was laying on the couch poking at his own stomach, taunting the monster making noise inside.   
"Are you wasting away over there?" He asked, sitting a couple of bags on the coffee table. Jacky was all over it. Fucking waffles!   
"I'd say maybe but I think I've inhaled about ten pounds of sushi in the last four days."  
"Why does that not surprise me?" Nikky scoffed as he pulled more containers out of the bags.   
Jacky had to stop himself from laughing as he watched him. Nikky looked so completely opposite from him. His black hair was cut short and neat and he wore a light blue dress shirt tucked into black slacks with shiny black shoes. A heavy gold watch from his father sat on his wrist. Jacky had changed into board shorts and a T-shirt both equally black. His hair was a mess and he had no idea where his shoes were. They would probably look hilarious in public together.   
"What's so funny?"  
Jacky shook his head. "Nothing. So we're you able to get the tickets?"  
Nikky gave him a curious look. "Yes, I did. I actually did better than that." He said getting up to grab his bag from the counter. He pulled out an envelope and handed it to him.   
Unwinding the string that held it shut, Jacky opened it and pulled out three smaller envelopes. One had his name on it so he opened that one. He pulled out an all access pass, a plane ticket, and a check. A check for ten thous-  
"Nikolai what the fuck?! What is this?"   
Nikky shrugged. "I said I would help you and I am."  
Jacky let out a frustrated breath and shoved everything back in the envelope. "Nikky I didn't ask for this. I asked if you could get the tickets. Just regular tickets. What's all this about?"  
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I know. You'd never ask for more. Consider this an apology gift. I wanted to do something more for you. Please Jacky just take it."  
"Apology gift? What would you be apologizing for?"  
"The way I treated you." He replied easily.   
"Nikky it's been years since we broke up. You don't need to apologize for anything. We're good."   
"Call it guilty conscience then. I just...I didn't realize what I was doing to you until you were gone. You have to understand. I did love you Jacky. I really did. And I still care about you. But I was scared. I told you that much. My career, my world, would not have been excepting of what we had. I should have let you go in the beginning. But I started getting angry with you because I wanted you but couldn't have what I wanted and I was too selfish to let you go. I was both angry and elated when you told me you were leaving for the states because I didn't have to let you go. It was taken out of my hands. And I'm proud of you for going. For making your own way. So just let me help you this once. Please?"  
Jacky sat back and rubbed his hands over his face. "I can't argue with any of that. We had good times and bad though."  
"We did. I agree. Just ease my conscience."  
Pulling the envelope back out, he sighed. "The tickets I can accept but the money? That's too much."  
"To me it isn't. Use it for whatever you need. Make this trip special for your family. Or keep it. I don't care. Just use it." Nikky replied.  
Maybe if Abigayl really was pregnant then that money could come in handy. "If I accept it then we're even. No more gifts?"  
"Promise."

 

The girls were all talking and joking around waiting for Lydia to come back with dinner. Abigayl stayed quiet for a moment and watched her friends. Jaylen, Maria, and Carla. She'd never seen more beautiful women in her life. Jaylen was a statuesque woman with caramel colored skin and honey eyes. She had high cheekbones that made her appear almost elvish. Maria was shorter with platinum blond hair died bright pink and she always wore baby doll pink contacts. She looked like a character straight out of an anime show. Carla was her height but a natural beauty from Brazil. Her worst feature was still ten times better than Abigayl's best. All of them had actually been to dance school and had even worked on Broadway but came back now and then to their original playground.   
"OMG I think Lydia brought us a prezzie!" Carla squealed, looking into the TV screen hooked to the security cameras downstairs.   
Abigayl just laughed as the girls crowded around. She didn't want to get trampled in the stampede.   
"What are you talking about?"   
"Ooooh I hope that's for me. Mmm I'd be all over that. Hope he doesn't mind us touching." Jaylen giggled.   
"Who says he'd even be in to you? Maybe he likes a more exotic look." Maria cooed.   
"Okay okay I have to see now." Aby said as she slid off the couch and walked up behind them. She so was not prepared and burst out laughing. Happy didn't even cover it.   
"Girls I'll be right back."   
The three of them ignored her so she started down the spiral stairs that led to the club below.   
Hoping the girls upstairs were still watching, Abigayl walked up to the man standing with his back to her and wrapped her arms around his waist. Ronnie stiffened for a moment before turning towards her and picking her up in a hug.   
"What are you doing here?" She asked as he set her back on her feet.   
"Jacky thought I should fly up and surprise you. I hope that's okay?"  
Abigayl rolled her eyes. "More than okay. I've missed you. And I um, I have something important to tell you. Are you staying here or what's going on?"  
"I'm staying here. Lydia said I could. I managed to upgrade your ticket and get us on the same flight out tomorrow. So tell me this news?"  
"I um, I just found out a couple days ago but I'm pre-"  
"Who's this you're hiding Aby?"   
Abigayl wanted to slap Carla into next Tuesday as her friend came up and put an arm around her shoulder. She needed to get this out. Ronnie needed to know.   
"Um Carla this is my husband Ronnie, and this is my friend Carla. The two behind me are Jaylen and Maria."   
Ronnie was patient as the girls fawned over him but she could tell he wasn't exactly happy about it.   
"So Aby ran off and married a rock star after all." Jaylen mused. "Guess it's hard to get out of that rutt."  
"Well, technically we aren't married, but yes, I did end up with a rock star. Two of them actually. Our boyfriend's name is Jacky."  
All three girls turned to stare at her.  
"Our? Woah girl you've got more explaining to do." Maria said, shaking a finger at her. "Come on, I'm starving. Everyone upstairs."

Abigayl was about to lose it. She just needed five seconds alone with Ronnie and no one was giving it to her.  
"Guys, okay, I'm sorry but I need a few minutes with my boyfriend." She said as the credits rolled on Burlesque.   
None of the women moved from where they lounged all over the living room so she tugged on his hand and pulled him into the bedroom she had lived in what seemed like forever ago.  
"I can't believe I just sat and watched that. I think I'm turning into a girl." He said, rubbing at his eyes.  
"Well you are pretty. Anyways, um I never got to tell you my news earlier." Aby said quickly, taking ahold of both of his hands. "Do you remember when we talked about maybe having another baby?"  
He frowned down at her. "Yes....Are you...? Are we gonna have another baby?"  
Aby couldn't help the smile that threatened to crack her face before Ronnie had her in a hug so tight she thought she'd break.   
"Does this mean you're happy?" She asked agaisnt his chest.  
"Hell yeah I'm happy. We gotta call Jacks." He said, pulling away just enought to get his phone and dial in Jacky's number.   
"Ronnie you never called me when you got to Minneapolis." Jacky said before either of them could get a word in.  
Ronnie rolled his eyes. "I know babe, I'm sorry, but I have really good news for you."  
There was silence on the other end of the line for way too long.  
"Does that mean what I think it means? Is Abigayl...?"   
"How did you guys know?" Aby interjected.  
Ronnie just grinned and kissed her forehead. "Purely speculation sweetie. We were just hoping."  
"Can you guys come back tonight then? I don't wanna wait till tomorrow. Bring my girl home now."  
Abigayl grabbed Ronnie's hand and squeezed it just to ground herself. Telling them the news had gone so much better than she had expected and ten times better than when they found out about Mycah.   
"I'll see what I can do Jacky. I'll text you as soon as we make a decision."

"I can't believe we just got on a plane at nine o'clock at night. Why didn't we just wait until morning?" Abigayl said as the plane was taxied back on to the runway. Honestly as crazy as it was she was so excited to get to Miami, to see Jacky.   
"You weren't going to sleep and you know it. I'm the one that got the shit end of this deal. Flew all the way to Minneapolis only to watch a horrible movie and get back on a freaking plane not four hours later." Ronnie whined but she could tell it was fake.   
"I'm so sorry you had a horrible trip baby. Plane rides, bad chinese food, horrid chick flicks. That's just too much for someone to have to go through to find out he's gonna have a baby!" She replied, poking him in the side.  
He put his arm around her shoulders and Abigayl relaxed into his side.   
"I couldn't be happier I got on that plane. And I'm...ecstatic about this baby. This times going to be different, you know? I feel it."  
Abigayl laced her fingers through his. "I hope so. To be completely honest I think I'm terrified."  
"Don't be. One day at a time. Let's just get back to Jacky and go from there. You're going to love this place I stashed Jacky away in. That's not funny, don't laugh. We got this nice little beach house just outside of Miami. I think J is ready to move in and stay. I am this close to moving with him."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 2.20

July 9th  
Miami, Florida

 

"What the fucking hell? Holy shit!"  
Abigayl jolted straight up in bed. Sunlight burned her eyes as she searched the small room around her. Neither Jacky or Ronnie were anywhere to be seen. That must have come from downstairs.  
Crawling out of bed she found her clothes and headed downstairs. She found the boys on the second floor. Jacky sat on the couch in his boxers with a big yellow envelope in his lap. He was smiling like an idiot too. Ronnie was sitting on the floor in front of him. He was holding something in his hand and looked like he was about to pass out.   
"What is going on down here?"  
Jacky grinned up at her, wrapping his arms around his knees. "This is the reaction you get when you give Ronnie tickets to see Eminem."   
"At fucking Wembley. Backstage." Ronnie interjected, laying back on the carpet to hand her the laminate in his hand.   
Abigayl took it and turned it around in her hands. An all access pass? "Jacky who did you have to kill to get this? The tickets sold out so fast." She asked, trying to keep the worry out of her voice.   
”A friend owed me a favor Aby. I didn't do anything illegal. I just wanted to do something for you guys since you've done so much for me. I know this doesn't make up for it but it's a start."   
Stepping over Ronnie, Aby sat down next to J and hugged him tight. "Jacky you don't have to make up anything to us. That's not how this works."  
"She's right Jacks, seriously, there is nothing we wouldn't do for you. We don't expect anything in return."  
Jacky nodded. "I know you don't. Okay then let me reword it. It's a gift. Because I love you. Both of you."  
Ronnie sat back up and offered his hand to Jacky. "I don't like that either but I'll give in because I really really want to go."  
Jacky laughed and shook his hand. "I gotta call my mum and see if they'll be busy then. It's... 2 there so now should be okay." He said, grabbing for the laptop sitting on the coffee table.   
Once Skype was up he checked to see if Maddy was online and hit call.   
The video popped up a few seconds later. Maddy was sitting in their living room, a glass of wine in hand. Her long hair was pulled up and she had paint smeared over her eye.   
"Jackson! Where are your clothes?" She asked, leaning into the camera.   
"Your name is Jackson?" Ronnie asked as he sat up on the couch with them.   
"No. She just calls me that sometimes. I just woke up mum."  
Maddy laughed. "Rosa says she finds your clothes all over the house."   
"Blame Ronnie."  
"I'd rather he have his off than yours."  
While Aby tried not to crack up Jacky glared at his mother.   
"Stop flirting with my boyfriend. How much wine have you had?" He asked, trying to sound angry.   
"Enough to paint my bedroom. Maybe too much. And I can flirt with whomever I want. I'm old, I can get away with it. Now, why are you calling?"  
Jacky just shook his head.   
"Um, we are coming to London the 6th of August for a show that your amazing son got us tickets to. Thought maybe we'd be able to visit you guys too. Did I mention how awesome your son is?" Ronnie answered, poking Jacky in the side.   
"Yes and I take full credit for him. His dad had nothing to do with that. Anyway sweetie you're all welcome to the house but Dominic and I will actually be in London that night."  
Jacky tried to push Ronnie's hand away but ended up lacing their fingers together. "Why are you going up to London? Is Tessa okay?"  
Maddy waived the comment away. "Of course she is. Some of her paintings got accepted last minute into an art exhibit. We're just going to support her. The show opens the next night. Would you guys be able to stay?Tommy is coming over too. I'm sure they would both love to see you baby."  
"I don't kn-"   
"Yes Madelyn. We will have time. I'll make sure that we do." Ronnie interjected.   
Madelyn gave him a warm smile but her entire demeanor seemed to have changed.   
"Well I am thrilled you're coming to visit. Just let me know your plans when it gets closer. I know you guys are on holiday but could I have a couple minutes to talk to Ronnie alone?"  
Jacky shrugged. "I guess so. Come on Aby, help me find some clothes." He said, blowing his mom a kiss then grabbing her hand. 

"I'm starting to agree with you guys. If I didn't love our house so much I'd totally move here." Abigayl said as she and Jacky walked along the water's edge, waves lapping at their feet.  
"Nice, isn't it? Let's just move our house to the beach. Problem solved."  
"Yeah, I'm sure that'll work. You weirdo. I wonder what your mom is talking to Ronnie about. He's been in the house for almost an hour now."  
"I don't know. Seemed kind of serious though. Guess we're about to find out." He trailed off.  
Sure enough Ronnie was walking down the beach towards them but he wasn't looking at them. He had his hands in the pockets of his jeans and was focused on the sand. The second they were within reach he pulled Jacky against him and hugged him tight. Jacky didn't even hesitate to ask why, just held on to him and stayed quiet.   
Without a word Abigayl left the two of them alone and headed back up to the house. Inside she grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen and went upstairs to call the doctor. Aby had learned, and accepted, at the beginning of their relationship when she needed to bow out. She knew the boys loved her but sometimes they just needed each other. It was kind of a cycle when they were upset Ronnie would usually go to Jacky, Jacky to her, and she to Ronnie. That's just how it worked and it DID work. For the most part the three of them would always end up sitting down and talking it out anyway. It was getting the problem out in the open that was usually the problem. So for now she would back off and let them talk, they would fill her in later if it was something she needed to know about.   
Her hands actually shook as she dialed in the number Dr. Lynn had given her. Megan Lynn was an amazing doctor as well as a person. After Mycah was born she had checked up on her and been there for her to talk to.   
"Hello, this is Doctor Lynn."  
"Um, hi, this is Abigayl Tylers?"  
The woman's voice softened and Abigayl felt relief wash over her.  
"Abigayl. I haven't heard from you in a long while. Is everything going okay?"   
Aby fidgeted with the bottom hem of her shirt. "Yes, everything is fine. I was just wondering if you had any openings in the next week or so for an appointment? Or knew of another doctor if you were full."  
"An appointment? Does that mean what I think it does? Did you guys decide to try again?" She asked, the sound of traffic coming through the speaker.   
"We let nature take its course. But I need to find out how far along I am add soon as possible. The timing is...important." She ground out.   
"Why? What happened?"  
"If I'm too far along it means Jacky was moved out when I got pregnant. Jacky and I don't care. It doesn't matter to either of us but it does to Ronnie for some reason. He won't explain it to us but I have a feeling he thinks Jacky won't stick around if he doesn't feel like he was a part of it. I don't know. You know how he is." She blurted out in a rush.  
"You can't fault him for worrying Abigayl. Do you have any clue as to when it may have happened?"  
"Honestly as often as we have sex I wouldn't have any idea. But usually the boys finish ea- Uh, sorry that's not something you want to hear I'm sure. So no. I don't."   
Dr. Lynn honest to god laughed on the other end of the line. "Aby nothing you can say will bother me but I get what you're saying. Let me look at something. Hold on just one second."  
Abigayl drummed her fingers on the arm of the couch and just about ripped her lip ring out while she waited. They needed to get this sorted soon, Ronnie's anxiety was already rubbing off on her.   
"Okay honey I can get you in the morning of the 12th. Would that work for you?"   
"Yes. I'll make it work. Thank you so so much." She said with a sigh of relief.   
"Anytime Aby. You know you're always welcome to call me whenever you need too. By the way are you guys going to make it to Damyen's birthday party?" She asked, the sound of a door slamming shut behind her.  
"Yes, we'll be there. Why?"  
"I have a conference the day before so I won't be in town but Aiden still wants to go. Is there anyway I could talk you into picking him up? He can go home with Brent."  
Abigayl scoffed. Her nine year old son, Aiden, was close with Julyen. "Of course we'd be happy to. Just let me know what's going on."  
"You're a life saver. Okay well I will see you in a couple days."  
Aby said goodbye just as Jacky walked into the living room, alone. He came straight to her and curled up with his head in her lap.   
"So...is Ronnie okay?" She asked, combing her fingers through his hair. He'd cut it again, long on one side shorter on the other. He was rocking the emo kid look again. She loved it.   
"Yeah, kind of. I guess my mum was hard on him. Grilling him about the importance of family."  
Abigayl frowned. "I think Ronnie knows how important family is. It's the most important thing to him. Why would she do that?"  
"Because he still can't accept that he IS part of my family now. It's not just about getting me to my family. He needs to understand that they want him there too. That they care about him."   
"Good luck getting that through his skull. That would mean letting his guard down around even more people. I doubt it's going to happen."  
Jacky sighed and rolled on to his back. "I agree with you. He'll be fine though. Did you get a hold of your doctor?"  
"Yep, I have an appointment the morning of the 12th. So we've got at least another day in paradise."

Paradise was right. Abigayl rolled the window of the taxi down, breathing in the salty ocean air. Their giant house was looking less and less important the longer she was here. But she knew while they liked it here, it would be a pain for the boys to move to Florida. It would have to just remain a dream.   
As the taxi pulled up in front of the beach house, she grabbed up all her bags then paid the driver. She had found a seafood place about five miles up the coast and decided to go pick something up. Jacky had wanted to go with her but she'd insisted he stay. She had a feeling he would still be needed at the house.   
Setting the bags on the kitchen counter Abigayl listened to the house above her. Everything was quiet. Maybe the boys had gone back to sleep after all. As quietly as possible she climbed the stairs to the second floor and poked her head in to the living room only to find a scene that was straight out of fan fiction land.   
Ronnie was sitting on the couch with his back agaisnt the right side armrest. He'd changed into a dark blue t-shirt and white jeans that he'd rolled up his calves, they'd probably been down at the beach considering how long she had been gone, and his hair was still damp at the ends from the shower causing them to curl a little at the long ends. Jacky sat stradling his lap, legs bent under him. He had on black gym shorts and a white t-shirt that must have been Ronnie's given how it had slid off his shoulder baring soft skin. J had the front of Ronnie's shirt bunched in his hands, a pair of heavy silver handcuffs weighing down his wrists. Ronnie had one hand resting under Jacky's shirt against his lower back, pulling him closer while his other hand wrapped around his throat, his thumb pushing up under his jaw forcing his head back. Their eyes were closed, J's lips parted slightly as soft lips brushed against his throat, a small whimpering noise escaping past his lips.   
Abigayl put her hand over her mouth and went back downstairs as heat flooded through her. She didn't need to be a part of this but dammit she wanted to. Instead she put things away in the kitchen then slipped her shoes off and headed outside. If she stayed in the house there was no way she was going to be able to stay away from the boys. 

 

Abigayl was going to kill them. She had text him letting them know she was taking the car up the coast a ways to get lunch but that had been a few hours ago. Where was she now?   
Jacky rubbed his eyes until he could see galaxies behind his eyelids then tried to stretch his arms over his head. Ronnie's arm tightened around his waist restricting his movement. They needed to get up but the more he tried the more Ronnie nuzzled into his shoulder. Maybe they didn't need to after all.   
"Do I have to wake up?"   
Jacky felt a shiver run down his spine as those words whispered against his skin.   
"Unfortunately, yes. We need to find Aby. She made an appointment with Dr. Lynn this morning. She's supposed to go in the morning of the 12th." Jacky replied, running a hand up and down his back.   
"I don't wanna go back to LA. You know how many emails and messages I've got the few days we've been here from people back home wanting a piece of me? Hundreds. I just wanted a few days with my family without having to deal with any of it and I can't even get that."  
Jacky stayed quiet. He knew sometimes it was hard on Ronnie when they were home just because he had his hands in so many projects that someone always needed him. That's why half the time it was only him and Abigayl at home. But Ronnie never complained. Ever. So this was a first and Jacky wasn't going to stop him.   
"I just want to take you and Aby away for awhile and just be alone. This has been great, it really has, but all of that crap is still in the back of my mind. I need to relax. Do you think your mom would mind us staying at her house for a few days?"  
He took a deep breath and pushed his hand up through Ronnie's hair to the back of his neck. "I'm sure she would be fine with it love. Let everyone back home know you're going to be out of reach. I'll make sure you get your time. You just let me worry about it."  
"Thank you. Thank you Jacky. That means more to me than anything."  
Jacky leaned up and brushed a kiss into his hair.   
"Knock, knock?"  
Ronnie leaned up on his elbow and they both looked to where Abigayl had just stuck her head into the bedroom.   
"Can I come in?" She asked quietly.   
Ronnie smiled and sat up. "Of course, come here. Where have you been?"  
Abigayl grinned and climbed up on the bed with them.   
"I text Jacky when I left." She answered, settling in between them. "I went to get lunch but when I got back you two were...busy, downstairs so I went down to the beach, and went for a walk. Met a girl a few houses down who recognized me. The um, age gap between you and some of your fans finally hit me."  
"Age gap?" Jacky asked, pulling his knees up to rest his arms on them.  
She nodded. "This girl couldn't have been more than thirteen. She was goin on and on about how nice you guys were and stuff and all I could think was, well one of those 'nice' guys has the other handcuffed to a bed right now. Wonder what she would have thought of that?!"  
Ronnie shook his head. "I did not handcuff him to the bed. Just to himself. But I don't recommend telling any of our fans that becuase we have too many stories written about us as is. Thanks in large part to Chris. Just let them keep believing that sweet innocent Jacky still exists and we're safe."  
He could tell Aby was trying not to laugh but it wasn't working.  
"On a serious note though J." She said, taking his hand. "It has been amazing to watch you over the years. You've grown up so much since that first tour, and though I know a lot of that on stage confidence is fake, at least you're trying, and it definitely shows."  
"Abigayl stop-"  
"No J, she's right. I watched you knock that mic stand off the stage and just laugh it off. Had that happened that first year at Warped you'd have all but died. You've come a long way."  
They were right but he still didn't want to talk about it.   
"Okay, okay let's change the subject. Make a plan so we can go see this baby!" He said, poking at Aby's stomach. 

"I'm kind of excited about meeting your brother and sister Jacky." Abigayl said as she cracked into a crab leg.   
"I'm glad you are becuase I am not." He answered rather snidely.  
"Why? What's wrong with them?"  
"Nothing's wrong with them." Ronnie interjected. "Jacky's the baby so they tend to tease him and not take him seriously. I understand that from firsthand experience. Michael was that way to me until about a year before he passed away."  
Jacky nodded. "Tessa I can handle. She teases but it's all in fun. Like when you guys do it. But Tommy's mean about it. I think he's the one we will have problems with."  
Abigayl frowned at him. "We?"  
Jacky pointed at Ronnie then back at himself. "Yeah, we."  
Realization dawned on her and Abigayl squeezed his arm. "He knew about Nikolai though didn't he?"  
"Yeah, he wasn't happy about it though. Tommy thought maybe coming to the states would 'cure' me. And as far as he knows, it did." Jacky finished, glancing up at Ronnie.  
He didn't look angry so much as surprised.   
"So as far as your brother knows...?"  
"I live with you and Aby out of convenience. I'm sorry, I just didn't want him tearing into my ass again. I dealt with it enough back home. I didn't figure I'd have to deal with it."  
Ronnie was quiet for a moment but Jacky could tell he was plotting in his head.   
"Alright so it's simple. If that's what he thinks then that's how it's going to be." He said finally and Jacky felt his heart explode.  
"Ronnie you don't mean that." Abigayl jumped in before he could say anything.   
"Let me explain. If your brother finds out about us it'll cause a fight right? And that'll just lead to upsetting your mom and everyone else. I don't want that to happen. So for a day or so we'll just play it like we aren't together. It's not a big deal and there won't be any blow up."  
How could he even suggest that?  
"No, we can't do that. I can't do that." Jacky replied. "We'll just have to deal with the fallout."  
He shook his head. "Jacky I know it's asking a lot, and I'm sorry, but remember what I told you this morning? I just want a calm, relaxing vacation. If it means I can't touch you in public for a day and you aren't next to me for one night then I'll take it. Please, for me?"  
Jacky hadn't thought about it that way. Every since he'd met him, Ronnie had always tried to make everyone happy, even if it was too much for him. Even now, this was mainly becuase he didn't want to cause an upset in Jacky's family. Another sacrifice he was trying to hide behind his own need for quiet.   
"Alright. Yeah. We can do it. If it keeps everyone happy then I'll do it. I'll have to let my parents and Tessa know so they don't blow it for us." He answered, tracing a crack in the wooden table with his fingertip.  
"Thank you Jacky."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 2.21

July 12th  
Los Angeles, California 

He might as well have tattooed deja-terrified across his forehead as well as he was hiding it. Being in Dr. Lynn's office just brought back too many memories.   
"Abigayl? You ready to come back?"  
Ronnie tried to keep still as Aby went to the back with Dr. Lynn. The room was suddenly too small, the air thick, and before he knew what was going on he had stood up and headed for the door. Jacky was right there in front of him.   
"Where are you going?" He asked, blocking the exit.   
"I don't know. I just...can't breathe in here."   
Jacky didn't laugh at him or yell. Just stood his ground. "It's okay you know? Abigayl's scared too. But she's here. And I think if she's willing to go through all this again then she's going to need you right here with her. You really want to leave her now?"  
He had a point.   
"No, I don't. And I'm not scared."  
Jacky scoffed. "You're going to lie to me? To ME? Don't be stupid. I know you're scared. You have every right to be. But for Aby's sake you need to hold it together. I'm right here with you. I'm here for you."   
"Promise?"  
Jacky smiled, looking at up him through long lashes. "Always."  
"You guys can come back with Aby now." He heard Dr. Lynn's voice from behind him.   
They quietly followed her back to a room that was all too familiar where Abigayl was sitting on the edge of the bed, a sad smile on her face.  
"You okay?" Ronnie asked as she wrapped her arms around his neck.  
"I am. Kind of." She answered, putting her hands on his shoulders as she pulled away. Abigayl gave him a light kiss before reaching out to take Jacky's hand too.   
"So how far along are you then?" Jacky asked as he sat up on the bed next to their girlfriend.  
"The sixteenth will be sixteen weeks. About four months. So you guys are almost halfway there already. I know considering what happened...previously Abigayl is going to want to baby herself but I personally don't see a reason to do anything differently. I have the labs and tests from the second pregnancy too. It wasn't anything that you did wrong Aby. I think the best thing for you all to do is go on with life normally. Try not to stress about the past and the what if's. Can you boys help her do that?"  
Ronnie just nodded. He wasn't sure how to answer that.  
"We can do that. Wait. Is it okay for Aby to fly? We have tickets to fly to London the beginning of next month. Do we need to cancel that?" Jacky asked.  
"Shouldn't be a problem. Just be cautious. Aby, why don't you come back in just before you leave for London?"  
Abigayl leaned into Jacky's side. "I'll be here. Also,are we still picking Aiden up next week?"  
Dr. Lynn nodded. "Yes, please. He'll be at his dad's. I'll give you the address before you leave. Anyways, that's all I have for you today so I'll see you next month." She finished and took her leave.  
"You guys okay?" Abigayl asked as she slid off the bed to put her shoes back on.   
"Yup. Honestly Aby I am. We can talk about it later." Jacky answered, holding her elbow to balance her.   
Ronnie nodded. "Surprisingly yeah. It's funny though. One of the most prestigious OB docs in California just asked two tatted up musicians and an equally inked band photographer to take her son to a birthday party where she knows a bunch of others just like us will be."  
Abigayl cocked her head and gave him a confused look.   
"My life has just changed a lot. Sometimes it strikes me funny. Kinda cool that someone would trust me with their kid though."  
She smiled then and grabbed her bag. "Of course she would. Like ive always said, you're going to make a good daddy too."

"Hey Ronnie you got a second? I have something for you?" Jacky asked as the front door shut behind them.   
"I'm gonna go lay down for a little while. Didn't sleep very good last night." Abigayl said as she headed for the front staircase.   
"Uh, I guess in that case yes, Jacky I have a second."  
Jacky just smiled and made his way through the living room and back into the library.   
"You got me something huh? What kind of something?"   
Jacky pulled something out of the bag he'd been carrying and held it behind his back. "Before I give it to you I want you to know that Nikky helped me find this for you."  
"Nikky? You've had this since you visited before Warped two years ago?"  
He shook his head. "No, and I don't want there to be any secrets. Nikky was in Miami. He was there for work but he brought me the tickets and we just hung out for awhile. Nothing happened."  
"I believe you J." And truthfully he did. Besides, believing him was so much easier than the alternative. This way there was no fighting. Although he wouldn't turn down makeup sex. Honestly he hoped that's where this was going.   
"Ronnie I'm serious. You can ask Nikky, nothing happened or is happen- Wait. You do? I mean...thank you."   
"I don't want to go down that road again. Anyway, what did you get me? I like presents." He replied, rubbing his hands together.   
He could tell Jacky was excited to give him whatever it was as he handed him a small black box. Gently he pulled the lid off and flipped over the little black cloth on top.  
"Holy shit." He whispered, running his fingertip over the face of the black watch. Hublot, now that was a piece of art. It was all black, the hands and numbers neon green along with the stitching on the band.   
"Jacky...how did..." Ronnie shook his head and carefully placed the lid back on the box. "Jacks, this is amazing but this is a sixteen thousand dollar watch. How the hell did you afford this?"  
Jacky shrugged. "I thought you'd like it." He said, looking down at the floor where he dug the toe of his shoe into the carpet.  
Aaaaaand now he felt like an ass.   
"I do. I like it J. But please tell me you didn't spend everything you had on this."  
"I didn't. I only paid for a fouth of it. It's not like I don't have money Ronnie. I'm good with it. When I first came to the states Nikky was sending me five hundred dollars a month just becuase he didn't want me to end up having to move back. He knew I was reaching for my dream and he supported me. After I signed on with Epitaph I got a job in town that paid the bills till you got out of prison. I saved most everything he sent me. I still have a good chunk of it actually. I don't need much to live on. So technically I guess you could say Nikky paid for it if that will help you justify it. I just wanted to get you something nice. I know you were pretty upset after you lost the watch your dad gave you last time we went surfing with Damyen. You deserve something nice. Nikky brought this with him after I picked it out online. At least put it on." Jacky said, pushing the box back into his hands.   
"If I put it on you're not getting it back." Ronnie admitted.  
Jacky smiled up at him from under the brim of his hat. "That's the point. Come on, I'll help."  
He watched as J lifted the heavy piece from it's satin bed, it looked strange in his hands, but then again just like he'd said, he would never have worn something like this. As the watch was tightened down to fit his wrist Ronnie had to admit the weight felt good. Felt familiar. Jacky was right, he had been missing the one his dad had given him that first time he had visited their house.   
"So? How's it feel?"  
Ronnie couldn't help but smile at him. "Feels good. Thank you J, really. But more importantly thank you for telling me about Nikolai being in Miami with you." He answered, leaning down to kiss him.   
He meant to pull away, he really did, but then Jacky's arms were around his neck pulling him down and before he could think clearly J had pulled him down on top of him on the couch. 

'Honey, this couch ain't big enough for the both of us.' Ronnie thought to himself as he slowly woke up. The tight space had Jacky pressed into him, his light snoring vibrating against his neck.   
How long had they been asleep?   
As gently as possible he untangled himself from Jacky and pulled on his jeans then tucked the blanket he assumed Rosa had thrown over them back around J.  
A spicy smell led him to the kitchen where Rosa was stirring something on the stove top.   
"What are you making?" He asked, sitting up at the bar opposite where she was.   
"Jumbalya. You guys have been gone long enough I thought you'd enjoy something cooked at home. How did you sleep?" She asked, turning around and wiping her hands on a towel.   
"Really good. Thanks for the blanket by the way."  
Rosa smiled and leaned against the bar.   
"You're welcome. You know, with the people that lived here before you all I never had to deal with naked people sleeping all over the house." She teased.  
"Um, yeah. We got carried away. I'm sorry." He replied, absently tapping his finger on the countertop. Anything to not meet her eyes. "You've uh, never mentioned the people that lived here before us. What were they like?"  
"Well, I'll let you in on a little secret just between you and me. The woman who had this house built was my grandmother, Lena. I moved out to California with her when I was ten. She passed away and left me the house when I was twenty five. The lawyer who held Lena's will said I could sell the house but I'd already been taking care of it then. So we made a deal. I came with the house when he sold it and I chose who lived here. The first resident was a doctor and his wife. They meant to make a family here but it never worked. The second moved in when I was thirty one. An actress and her husband. Nice people that were never here. Then thw house was left empty until you bought it. Your family was very different from the others and I thought it was time for change. I have to admit that you, Jacky, and Aby mean everything to me now. None of the others ever made me feel like part of their family like you guys have."  
"Of course you're part of the family. I don't know what we would do without you. We were actually hypothetically thinking about moving to Florida and decided we needed a house for the four of us. But I guess you already have a house huh?"   
Rosa shook her head. "I have a house but it's not home without you three." She said, poking his arm. "Even though you leave your clothes everywhere. I'll stick with you guys as long as you want me to."  
"Good becuase we have no plans of leaving. And you may get that family in your house afterall. We went to see Dr. Lynn this morning before coming home. We're gonna have a baby. Aby's sixteen months along now."  
"You don't seem all that happy about this." She mused.  
"I am. Really Rosa I am happy. I'm excited. It's just scary, you know? Aby's lost two kids now. I don't know if she'll be able to go through losing another."  
Rosa's eyes narrowed on him. "She won't or you won't? Abigayl's a strong girl. And she has a supportive family. You're the one who won't accept the fact that there are people around you that love you."  
"You've been talking to Madelyn, haven't you?" Ronnie asked as he finally looked up at her.  
"I did. Yes. And I agree with her. You've got to stop feeling like it's your job to make everyone around you happy. It's not Abigayl's family or Jacky's family anymore Ronnie. We are all one family and you're a part of it. We are here when YOU need someone." She replied, standing back up. "And we'll be here when that baby is born too. Healthy and happy. And you will be fine. I don't want to hear anymore talk about any other hypothetical situation. Got it?"  
"Yeah I get it."  
"Good. Now make yourself useful and finish the dishes in the sink for me while I go wake Aby up." She said, heading for the library.  
"What? Don't we own a dishwasher or something?" He all but whined.  
"You can handle it. And don't even try pulling that 'I'm an international rockstar' crap. It didn't help Jacky and it's not going to help you."  
Well ooookay.

He had just started drying off the few dishes Rosa had left when arms slid around his waist and Jacky laid his forehead against his back.  
"Bout time you woke up."  
Jacky didn't even bother commenting. "Why are you doing dishes?"  
"Rosa told me to. She said I wasn't allowed to use being an international rockstar as an excuse not to. Did you really try that?"  
Ronnie didn't need to be able to see him to know he had a shit eating grin on his face.   
"I may have. I got a lecture out of it too. Don't try it."   
Putting the last dish on the counter, he turned around even though Jacky refused to let go. Leaning down he put his lips agianst his neck and just breathed him in as J leaned into him.   
"You smell good."   
Jacky scoffed. "I smell like you. Why do I always smell like you?"  
Ronnie shrugged. "Becuase you're an alien that never sweats. That and if we're being honest it's not like you actually do any of the work." He teased.  
Jacky's head snapped back as he pretended to be offended just before a sharp pain cut through his chest.

 

"What the fuck Jacky?!"  
Abigayl ducked into the kitchen just in time to see Jacky fall into the booth, his hand pressed to his stomach as he laughed his ass off. Ronnie was pegging him with a death glare she was surprised he couldn't feel.  
"What the hell just happened in here?" She asked, moving to get a glass from the cabinet.  
"Ronnie's an asshole, that's what happend." Jacky replied as he wiped at his eyes.  
"Fuck you! Let me do it to you then."  
Jacky shook his head and scooted into the back of the booth as he came in after him but apparently didn't get far enough becuase the next thing she knew J let out a painful yelp then they were both laughing again.  
"Boys!" Rosa's voice boomed through the kitchen. "This is a nipple pinching free zone. How old are you? Twelve?"  
Abigayl put her hand over her mouth trying to stifle a laugh.   
"Thirteen to be exact." Ronnie snarked back. "Can we eat now?"  
Rosa rolled her eyes. "If you can do so maturely, yes. Go put a shirt on. Jacky get bowls out. Aby, sweetie you just sit down. They can wait on you since they're acting like petulant children."  
Aby liked the sound of that.

As much as she had loved Miami and being on tour Abigayl had to admit she was happy to be home. She was perfectly content as she ran her fingers through Jacky's hair. He'd laid down next to her, his head on her thigh and Ronnie put Insidious 2 into the Xbox 1. They hadn't had a scary movie night in too long. Ronnie had a few meetings to go to tomorrow and Jacky was starting work on a new signature guitar model. She'd have the house to herself. Her plan was to take a bath and relax. Her nerves were trying to get the best of her over the baby and Aby was fighting them tooth and nail. They had decided not to tell anyone until later on. Dr. Lynn, Rosa, Danny, and Chelsie were the only ones that knew and she assumed Danny had blabed to Luna but she was keeping it quiet if he had. No one else needed to know right now.   
The movie started and Ronnie picked J's legs up so he could sit before grabbing a bowl of popcorn off the coffee table. They were quiet for awhile. A comfortable silence. At least it was until her phone decided to ping out an annoying twitter notification. The boys glared at her as she opened the tweet and turned off the sound.

@AlannaBlake: @AbigaylTY I have a question about doing an interview with you. May I email you?

@AbigaylTY: @AlannaBlake Me? Sure. Emails just my name.

About five minutes later an email popped up. Turned out Alanna Blake worked for a local music website based in LA. Ronnie said he'd done a couple interviews with in the past when he had first moved to town. Said they were good people and the interviews themselves were usually fun and different than what you'd expect. In this case Alanna wanted to do a video with the three of them like a getting to know you interview. She would send them a list of questions and they would pick a few to ask on another. Abigayl personally liked the idea and so did Ronnie. Jacky was a bit more hesitant.   
"You guys won't ask anything you know I don't want to answer right?" He asked.   
"No Jacky we wouldn't purposely humiliate you but it's a chance for you to open up a bit too." She replied buy could tell he still wasn't happy about it.   
"Fine. I'll do it but I keep my right to not answer."  
After agreeing she sent Alanna an email back and not ten minutes later they had an appointment set at their house for the morning of Damyen's party.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 2.22

July 20th  
Los Angeles, California 

"Hey I know you!"   
Abigayl sent up a silent thanks that Ronnie had woke up in a good mood as he hugged a rather surprised looking Alanna. She was a cute little thing with short brown hair and light brown eyes.   
"You remember me after so many years?" She asked, as he set her back on her feet.   
"Of course I do. Loved doing those interviews with you. Nice not to answer the same questions over and over. Oh Alanna this is my girlfriend Abigayl and I don't know if you ever met Jacky." He answered, motioning to the two of them.   
Alanna shook each of their hands. "Nice to meet you Abigayl. And no, I did not but I have done my research. Nice to finally meet someone so talented."  
Jacky blushed like crazy and she noticed Ronnie put his hand gently against his back. Just for support.   
"Alright so you guys have your questions and everything's set up. Everyone ready?" Alanna asked, rubbing her hands together.   
"Ready as I'll ever be." Jacky answered unenthusiastically. 

A: Jacky do you remember the first thing you ever said to me?   
J: Ryan's an asshat! The very first time I met you. Right before the tour with Asking. Two years later and he's still an asshat. Okay... Ronnie? What was your first impression of me?   
R: Like my very first thought or when I saw you in person?   
J: First thought.   
R: I was like 'no way this dude plays guitar like that! He's like ten years old'. For the record the first picture I saw of Jacky while I was in jail he had like five piercings, nickel sized gauges, and full on black fringe hair. Abigayl, what's your favorite memory with me?   
A: Um, oh, that day at Warped when you and I hid on top of Chelsea Grin's bus and dropped that giant bucket of water on Alex just before he went on stage. That was so worth laying up there in the sun for four hours.  
R: Got a nice tan out of it at least.   
A: True story. Plus never had sex on top of a bus before.   
J: You two did not?!   
A: Next question. What do you two like best about me?   
R: The way you look in black leather mini skirts?   
J: Even more when you're not wearing one.   
A: You're both horrible. And that's not what I meant. Oh shit. I'm regretting my choice in questions. Ronnie what's your favorite way to spend time with me?   
R: Jacuzzi. I like those nights when it's just me and you and a bottle of champagne.   
A: And rose petals?   
R: Only the best for my girl.   
J: You are so whipped. Anyways, Ronnie what's something you did as a teenager that your parents never found out about?  
R: Oh fuck. What?! I don't think we have time for that list. Um, oh I got one. I lit the teacher's lounge on fire in high school. I can't still get arrested for this can I? I put a fork and a can of tuna in the microwave, turned it up all the way and set it for ten minutes. Blew like a stick of dynamite. Got way out of control and took out a good part of the school. No one ever caught me and I never went back to school. That's when I dropped out. If I go to jail for this it's your fault. Okay, J if you could give yourself a nickname what would it be?   
J: Muffin. First name Stud.  
R: I can't believe you just said that. Look what you did. You broke Aby. She's on the floor.   
J: At least Rosa just vaccumed.  
R: What one thing would you change about me Jacks?   
J: Uh...I'd change your inability to shut up when a situation gets awkward. And I'd cut your hair.   
R: Okay the first I get. But what?! You'd cut my hair off?   
A: Don't you fucking dare.   
J: He asked. What's the dumbest thing you've ever done Ronnie?   
R: I was born. Apparently that was pretty dumb depending on who you talk to. Well, right after Aby got back, when we were still on the High Voltage tour I decided to face plant out of the bus. That definitely ranks high on the dumb scale.  
A: I remember you telling me about that. Wish someone would have recorded it though. Another one for you, if you could trade lives with someone who would it be and why?  
R: Either you or Jacky. Just so I could see how awesome I am from someone elses perspective.  
J: You are so delusional it's not even funny. But it would be interesting for you to see just how ridiculous you are on stage.   
A: Then he'd at least get the prancing fairy references...  
R: The what...?  
A: Jacky's turn! What's one thing no one else knows about you?  
J: I'm Ronnie's number one stalker. Don't look at me like that, it's true. When you first got out of prison, when we all lived together, I stole a shirt from your room and wore it to bed. I liked the way it smelled. Yeah, beat that fangirls!  
R: Man, you were the one stealing my clothes?   
J: Just that one time.  
R: Good. I like you in my clothes, and out of them.  
J: Ahem! Aby? Do you sing in the shower? If so what?  
A: I do. I full out sing like an idiot. Off key and everything. Don't judge me. Mainly Lady Gaga or Kesha.  
R: Kesha?? Remind me to throw a bunch of glitter in there next time.  
A: Fuck off Mr. I think I can rap like Eminem in the shower. We can hear you too.  
R: Hateful. Jacky, what is your hidden talent?  
J: I can do the cherry stem knot thing. I'm good with my tongue.  
A: And your fingers.  
R: Abigayl!   
J: I'm sure she meant playing guitar.  
R: Hell no she didn't.  
A: Next question! Ronnie, have you ever snooped through my things behind your back?  
R: I don't like this question. Yeah, I have. I like to go through your phone sometimes.  
A: Um, you what?  
R: I steal pictures of you and Jacky off your phone. Other than that? No. I have never gone through your stuff.   
A: Aww I love you.  
R: Stop that. My turn. Oh my god....I shouldn't have picked these questions at three in the morning. Can I skip?  
J: Yes  
A: No! Just ask it.  
R: Jacky, what would you do if I told you I was gay?  
J: You're what?!   
A: Oh my god.  
J: Why didn't you tell me this before we started dating?!  
R: I'm so sorry J. I've just been too scared to tell you.  
A: Stop. Please stop. I can't breathe...  
R: Along those same lines, Jacky what we you thinking about last time we had sex?  
J: In full disclosure I was starving yesterday morning when you woke me up so peanut butter banana sandwiches?   
R: Also in full disclosure I then made him the stupid sandwich. And to the fangirls wondering yes, that's how bad in bed I am.   
J: Yes you did. Because you love me. And because Rosa was asleep.  
R: Don't understand why she was asleep at 4am.   
A: Why were either of you awake at 4am?  
R: Don't ask questions.  
A: Okay, I have one for both of you. What's your biggest turn on?  
J: Er, that's hard. I don't know.  
R: The list for that would be way too long. But like really and truly the thing I love most is when I'm up on stage and I look over and see my best friend up there with me and my girlfriend down in the crowd going nuts because we all have that in common. We have that common love and passion. Nothing can emotionally equal that.  
J: I have to say I agree with Ronnie. It's pretty amazing.   
R: Jacky can you read my mind? What am I thinking?  
J: Tacos? Sushi? Oh man I so hope it's sushi.  
A: If you read Jacky's mind it sounds like this: Guitar....sushi...guitar....sleep....skate...guitar....those people I live with...sushi.  
J: That's partially true.  
A: Another one for J. What's a behavior of mine that you hate?  
J: I hate how you sleep on the whole damn bed. Like there are three of us. Why do you need the whole king size bed?  
A: Geez J don't sugar coat anything. Just let me have it.   
J: You asked. Ronnie, what's your idea of a romantic evening?  
R: Why am I getting all the mushy questions? Uh, with Aby? Bowl of popcorn and a couple seasons of Supernatural. With you? I guess sitting out on the balcony listening to you play. With both of you I like going down to the beach. That's always nice. Relaxing. Okay, Aby, what are 3 qualities you like about me?   
A: That's easy. Don't make those faces at me. The way you protect your family, the way you still have hope that people can be good even after everything you've been through, and your honesty. You're not the best person in the world, you've made mistakes but you're more than willing to admit them. You're still a good guy despite everything and I love you for that. People have no idea how horrible you could be. They don't see how under attack you constantly are. Things get out of control sometimes but you just keep taking the hits.   
J: You've dealt so much better than you think. You just don't see it.   
A: I'll bail you out now though. What's your favorite candy?  
R: Can I just answer yes? Licorice, rock candy, gummy bears, anything really.   
J: Fruit Gushers   
R: Holy fuck yes! They're so good. Write that down somewhere. We need like a whole fucking shipment.   
A: Cool down there champ. We'll get you sugared up later.  
J: speaking of favorites. What's your favorite thing about me?  
R: About you? You really want me to answer that? Can I not be appropriate on this one?  
J: I guess so, yeah why not.  
R: Hmm. This kind of answers Abigayl's earlier question about turn ons. I like how in the mornings your hairs all messed up and you don't even care. I like the way your shirts ride up and show off more skin than you want to. That one's hard to ignore.   
J: That's why you jumped me in the stairwell the other day?   
R: Mhmm. Couldn't wait. Don't want to wait right now actually.  
A: Okay! That's enough of that question. This is still PG-13 guys.  
R: It won't be as soon as that camera gets turned off.  
A: Ronnie! My turn. What's one thing you craved as a child but was denied?  
R: Nope. Not answering that one.   
A: Why?  
R: Because we're having a good time. I'm in a good mood and I don't wanna ruin it. My question to you, considering the ménage à trois going on in our house, was there ever a moment where you felt like this wasn't right?  
A: To be honest? Only a couple times. There were a few instances where I felt like I should bow out and let you two just go on. Hell I tried that. But in the end, no. I don't regret this at all. And that leads into my last question for you. Where do you see us in five years?  
J: Damn, she picked all the hard questions.   
R: Yeah she did. Um, hopefully still here. Maybe a kid running around the house. Maybe a couple more cats.   
J: I second that last part.  
R: You would. But in all seriousness, no matter what happens it'll be the three of us. And we'll make it through whatever the future throws at us because that's what we do.

"Well that was...interesting to say the least." Alanna joked as she packed away her gear.   
"I liked it" Jacky answered.   
"And that's saying something considering how much he hates interviews." Aby tacked on.   
Leaving the boys inside she followed Alanna out to her car to say goodbye. It was almost noon now. They were picking up Aiden at five so they had some time.   
Locking the door behind her, Abigayl leaned back against the hard wood an took a deep breath. She had a feeling she wasn't going to be much fun tonight. Maybe Ronnie and Jacky would go without her?  
"Aby? Why are you on the floor love?"   
Funny, she didn't remember sitting down at all. Taking Jacky's hand she let him pull her to her feet.  
"I don't know. I was just standing there. Then I felt dizzy."  
"Do we need to go to the hospital?" He asked, holding on to her arm.  
"No! No of course not. It's nothing I didn't experience last time. I just need to sit down. I was fine this morning until I walked outside."  
"Okay, here." Jacky walked her into the living room and sat her down on the couch before handing her the Xbox controller and TV remote then he disappeared behind her only to come back a few minutes later with a giant glass of Rosa's raspberry tea. Aby was almost in tears. They took such good care of her.  
"Thank you Jacks. You're the best, you know that?"  
He shook his head. "Ronnie keeps telling me that but I don't believe him either. Will you be okay for a bit? I'm gonna go take a shower. Ronnie said he had to go out but would be back soon. Rosa's in the kitchen. Just yell if you need her."  
Aby nodded and pulled him down for a kiss. He really was amazing whether he'd ever admit it or not. 

 

Abigayl was going to flip shit. Hell Jacky was about ready to flip something himself as Ronnie came through the front door.   
He looked good as always, black jeans and a black and red checkered shirt with the sleeves rolled up and those damn sunglasses that Jacky still thought better belonged on a woman. But what the hell had he done to his hair?  
"What did you do?!" He asked and Ronnie just laughed.  
"Had to get rid of it sooner or later."  
"Yeah but not ALL of it." He mused, walking a circle around him. He'd shaved everything like military short and left the top long enough it was just past his jawline and tiny bit longer in the back. It didn't look bad by any means, just different.   
"Luna was down at Chelsie's this morning. She did it for me. I like it."   
"I've never seen you with short hair so it's kind of a shock." Jacky teased him.  
"Well I am getting older. Thought I should grow up. Where's Abigayl?"   
"Still in watching tv. She said she feels okay until she stands up. I think she plans to stay home tonight."  
Ronnie just nodded before heading towards the living room.   
At first Abigayl didn't really react. But Jacky could see tears in her eyes as Ronnie sat down beside her. She was going to bawl.   
"What did you do?" She asked shakily.  
"No no no. Baby come here. Don't cry." Ronnie pulled her on to his lap but Jacky could tell he was trying not to laugh. Aby's hormonal mood swings had been insane the last few days. Hell yesterday she had started crying over her hair brush missing a few bristles.   
The tears soon turned to little giggles as Ronnie kissed a path down her chest and Aby nuzzle into his hair. "So soft." She whispered, a small whimper escaping her lips.  
"Crying to horny faster than a Ferrari." Jacky teased, sitting down beside them as Ronnie bent her backwards on his lap, pulling the straps of her dress down as he moved further south. Now that he was more than willing to help with, slipping the flimsy yellow fabric off her arms.   
"Guys...guys stop!" She said putting her hands on their shoulders. "I can't do this."  
This was exhausting, trying to keep up with these swings. "What did we do?" He asked.  
Abigayl leaned forward, laying her head against Ronnie's chest. "You didn't do anything. I just feel...gross."   
Jacky managed to not roll his eyes at her. Ronnie on the the other hand obviously didn't mind laughing at her.   
"Well, you don't 'feel' gross to me." He said, spreading his palm over her stomach where she was definitely showing now. "He's moving again."   
Abigayl smiled and put her hand over his. That twinge of jealousy pinged around in his chest. Why did she always fall for that cheeky crap? If he had laughed at her the beast would have reared it's ugly head and bit his off. Then again, Jacky would never have done that to her. That was just their relationship. He guessed it was the same way he and Ronnie were. This was just something he had to get over. They weren't pushing him away, he was pushing himself. Time to stop.   
Reaching over he slowly slipped his fingers under Ronnie's which earned him a smile that let him know everything would be okay. 

"So you're not going to Damyen's then?"   
Abigayl shook her head. "I just don't think it would be a good idea as tired as I am. Will you and Ronnie be okay picking up Aiden?"  
Jacky nodded and pulled the blankets up around her. She looked so tiny in that big bed all alone. "Don't worry love. We can handle anything. I want you to stay here and rest. Just, keep our baby company yeah?"  
Aby smiled and brushed the back of her fingers along his jaw. "You said our."  
"Of course I did."  
"I saw your face earlier J. You can't fool us. So tell me what's wrong?" She asked, patting the bed beside her.   
Jacky took the invite and laid down on top of the covers with her. "Nothing's really wrong. Sometimes I just have to take a second and realize that your relationship with Ronnie is different than what you have with me. But that's okay, because I'm not him. I'm okay though Aby. I promise."  
"You better be. Now go on. You dont want to be late."

"Where's Aby?"  
Jacky looked at the black haired kid in rearview mirror. Aiden looked a lot like he would have expected Ronnie to look like at nine. All shaggy hair and big brown eyes.   
"Aby stayed home, she didn't feel good." Ronnie answered him, turning around in his seat. "So you're stuck with us for awhile."  
Aiden grinned back at them. "Yes! Are we going to Damyen's now?"  
"Soon. Jacky's gotta stop and pick something up first then we will. Your dad seemed busy this morning?"  
Aiden's father was a high profile lawyer there in LA. While he and Megan were still married, John spent most of his time at an apartment/office downtown. As far as Jacky knew that's how the couple worked. They were both so busy they didn't spend much time together anyway. It made him nervous to think about how that effected Aiden though. He didn't seem to have any problems from being juggled around but he saw both his parents everyday even if they were busy. Their baby wouldn't see them sometimes for a month or more. Was that something a child could just get used to?  
"He said it's something very big and important. He's working really hard. But last night we built forts and played with the lazer guns!" Aiden said excitedly.  
And there it was. That's how it worked. It wasn't about buying them things to make up for the time you didn't have. It was taking the few minutes to focus all of your attention on them. Somewhere between meetings and touring they would have to just take the time to spend with their little girl or boy. They could do that.  
Ronnie smiled and reached back to push the bill of his baseball cap down. "Sounds like you had fun then. No, J park across the street, you'll never get out of that spot."  
As soon as the Escalade was thrown in to park, Ronnie was out the door. Patience was not his middle name.  
"A flower store?" Aiden mused as he watched out the window.   
"Yep. Aby ordered some roses for Damyen." Jacky answered.   
Aiden frowned, he was thinking hard on something. "Damyen's a boy. Boys don't like flowers." He said finally.  
"Who said that? I like flowers. Sunflowers. When we went out to see Ronnie's dad a couple years ago we drove past these huge fields of sunflowers. They were taller than me!"  
Aiden laughed and clapped his hands together. "I wanna see those! I like those little flowers that look like dragons. I want a dragon."  
Jacky couldn't help but laugh.   
A few long minutes later Ronnie came back with a beautiful bouquet of blue, yellow, and purple pastel roses. Each color was from one of them, his being blue of course, Ronnie's purple and Aby's yellow.   
"They look so much better in real life than online." Jacky said as he leaned over to smell them.  
"Yeah they do. I hope Damyen likes them. Abigayl said roses are his favorite." Ronnie answered, running his fingertip along one of the petals.   
"Jacky likes sunflowers!" Aiden announced from the backseat.   
Ronnie smiled at him. "I know he does. I have pictures of him in a field of them."  
"Can I see?"   
"Sure, just a second let me find it."   
Aiden rattled on talking about different flowers that his mom kept in their house while Ronnie searched his phone for the picture and Jacky caught himself smiling like an idiot. Maybe this is what normal life felt like. Having this every now and then wouldn't be so bad. 

"Would you look at those roses?! These are gorgeous! Thank you. Both of you." Damyen said as he took the flowers from them.   
"You're very welcome D. Happy Birthday buddy." Ronnie replied as Damyen pulled them both into a hug.   
"I'm glad you guys are here, but where is my bestie? Where are you hiding her?"  
Jacky shook his head. "She didn't text you? Maybe she's still asleep. Aby wasn't feeling good this morning and decided it was better for her to stay home."  
Damyen arched a brow at him. "Aby had the flu and went to see the Jurassic Park rerun. How sick is she to miss my party?"  
Ronnie gave him a questioning look and Jacky shrugged. It wouldn't hurt to tell Damyen.   
A smile spread across Damyen's face as Ronnie whispered into his ear.   
"For real? I didn't know you guys were trying again?"  
"It was just as much a surprise to us." Jacky answered.   
"Well congrats boys. I'm excited for you and of course I'll keep it a secret. Now, I'm gonna go put these in water. You two go join the party."

Around eleven Jacky snuck away from the huge throng of people, mainly people he knew, and took the stairs up to the top deck. He just needed a quiet moment. Everyone had slowly started making their way down to the fire pit on Damyen's private part of the beach and he watched as Luna and Dahlia made there way down the boardwalk on to the sand arm in arm. Jacky had been surprised at the amount of people who had flown in for the party but was happy to see family as always. Damyen had hired a ship to set off fireworks at midnight and Jacky was hoping he could find his boyfriend before they started.   
He was just about to head down to the beach himself when someone's arms snaked around his neck.   
"I've been looking for you." Ronnie whispered into his hair.   
"I was going to come find you. Where were you?"  
"Outside with Dahlia and Alex. Just had the most mind blowing orgasm of my life."  
Jacky just about choked on his own breath and had to stop and think for a moment. Coffee. Ronnie was talking about alcohol.   
"Oh yeah? Where can I get one?"   
"I can give you one right now." He said, nuzzling into the side of his neck.  
Jacky laughed and leaned back against him. "I don't doubt that but I don't think this is really the time or place."  
Ronnie's teeth grazed over his skin and nipped at his ear as his hands slid under his shirt and into the top of his jeans. He should stop him, he really should. Instead he turned his head and allowed those soft lips to make him forget where he was.   
That taste of coffee filled his head as they kissed but for some Ronnie didn't go any further.   
"It's okay. No one's coming up here." Jacky coaxed.  
"I know. But I can control myself and wait till we get home. Now kissing you, I could do all day, every day."  
Jacky smiled against his lips. "I am perfectly okay with that. Let's go watch the fireworks and say goodnight. Then I'm gonna take you home and finish what you started."  
"Perfect. Wait. Jacky, I love you. I don't tell you that enough." He said, stopping him at the top of the stairs.   
"You don't have to tell me. I know you do. And I love you too."   
"Now who's being sappy?" Ronnie teased as they took the spiral steps down to the beach.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 2.23

August 5th  
Los Angeles, California

"No, Jacky this is just too much. I could have bought the tickets to fly over. That's not a big deal. We did not need Nikolai to send a jet."  
"What's the big deal? It's already set up. You can't tell me you want to be stuck on a plane with a hundred other people for eleven hours. He's not rubbing it in your face. This isn't about you at all. Nikky did this for ME, not you."  
As the boys argued over her, Abigayl let out a long breath and leaned back into Jacky's arms. This was stupid. The only reason Ronnie didn't want to get on that plane was becuase it was Nikolai's. It was all about pride.   
"Guys stop, please! Ronnie, can we please just use the tickets we have? I think it'll be better for me with the private jet. More space and less people to stress me out. I could probably even sleep before we get to London." She said, knowing that her and the baby's health was probably the only thing that would get through to him.  
She could see him mauling it over, his molars grinding together. Finally he just shrugged and looked away from them. "Fine. Whatever."  
Before he could bolt, Aby stepped away from Jacky and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you. Baby thanks you too."  
Despite his attitude a few seconds ago, Ronnie smiled down at her. "Do you think it'll be another boy? I hope it is."  
"Either of you thought of any names yet?" Jacky asked as they walked towards the gate where the jet would be landing any moment.  
"Ronnie won't let me name his son Rodrick."   
Jacky made a nasty face at that. "Can't say I blame him."  
"It's not that I mind it, I just imagine how he'll be made fun of for it." Ronnie interjected. "And you said you didn't mind Adrian."  
"Adrian? I kind of like that. Although then we've stuck him with a girl name just like I was."   
"It's a boys name too though. I really do like it." She told him. Jacky didn't remember it but Adrian was a name he had liked when they were trying to find one for Mycah.  
"Well, we've got time to think of a name." Ronnie said, patting him on the shoulder.  
"Dimitri." Aby blurted out.  
Both of them looked at her like she was insane.   
"So you're Russian now?" Jacky teased. "I don't think so. Let's just stick with Adrian. Hey I think our ride is here."   
"Radke?"   
Ronnie raised his hand to wave at the man who would be walking them out to the jet. He turned out to be the co-pilot, Zach.  
"If you'll just follow me we'll get you settled for takeoff."

"Wow. I'll admit it, this is awesome." Ronnie said as they walked through the plane. It had pretty much everything you could want. Just like a house. Everything was done in dark grey and a beautiful light blue that made Aby think of Jacky.   
"This is gorgeous. Your friend has good taste J." She said, sitting in one of the big leather chairs in what would be the lounge area.   
"Expensive taste. This is why Nikky and I never would have worked. This kind of stuff just makes me uncomfortable."  
"I promise to never buy you a plane Jacks." Ronnie teased as he sat with her.  
"I'll hold you to that. 

"Ronnie? You're being awfully quiet over there. Are you okay?" Abigayl asked from where she was sprawled out watching the beginning credits of Silent Hill 2.  
He shrugged his shoulders, and laid his head back on the arm of the couch.   
"Oh don't pull that crap. You're thinking hard on something."  
"Yeah." Jacky started, crawling across the couch until he was just about on top of him. "We could see the smoke and everything."  
Ronnie just grinned at him and pulled J down against him. "Actually, I was thinking about you Aby. Do you still um, do you still believe in God and angels and all that?"  
Abigayl stayed quiet for a moment trying to think of a reaponse. They'd had this discussion. She thought it had been put to rest.   
"Ronnie I don't want to do this again. I'm not going to fight with you."  
"I know. I don't want to fight. Please just...answer the question."  
Her response was easy, that she didn't have to think about. "Yes, I do. I've never stopped."  
"Even with everything that's happened to us? Why?"  
There was no mockery in the tone of his voice, only curiousity.  
Abigayl sat up and rested her elbows on her knees. "Because of this right here. Because I've made it through everthing that's been thrown at me and I still have you both in my life. I have a wonderful family and people that care about me. Sure it's been hard but it's never been too much. I don't need physical proof that they exist. I FEEL it."  
Ronnie was quiet then, back to thinking. Jacky cuddled up against his chest and smiled at her. Over the years J had gone to church with her a few times, he wasn't completely closed minded about religion. And he was interested to learn but Abigayl wasn't going to force either of them as long as they didn't force her.  
The movie was about halfway through when he spoke again, his voice so soft Aby had to strain to hear him.  
"Do you think maybe I could come with you, next time you and Jacky go to church? I'm...curious."  
Aby could feel tears burning behind her eyes but she wasn't going to let them fall. Not now. "Of course you can sweetie. Anytime you'd like."  
Ronnie nodded and hugged Jacky tighter to him. "Despite what I do, I want you to take the baby. Teach him what you know. Give him something to believe in, okay?"  
"I will." She answered quietly before turning on to her back and wiping at her eyes. 

They were only two hours into their eleven hour flight....  
Abigayl was about to go nuts. Between the baby, now Adrian apparently, rolling around, Ronnie being uncharacteristically quiet, and being hungry this was not a pleasurable trip so far.  
Aby rolled on to her back again and ran her hands over her growing stomach. She wasn't going to be able to hide this much longer considering how big she'd got with Mycah. Right now she just couldn't get comfy.  
"Aby, sit up a minute?"  
With a frustrated groan Aby pushed herself up and Ronnie sat down beside her. He had something wrapped in a napkin in his hands.  
"I thought you might be hungry." He said, unwrapping the biggest croissant she'd ever seen and a handful of blueberries.   
"Thank you. You take such good care of me." She said, pulling a piece of the flaky pastry off the end and popping a blueberry into her mouth.  
"Yeah, not as good as I should. Hell have I even asked you how you're feeling since we got back from Florida?"  
Abigayl just laughed and leaned into his shoulder. "Not in so many words. But I think you do just fine. You take good care of us both. Why have you been so quiet today? Are you okay?"  
"I um... I'm nervous I guess. Man, I understand why those kids at shows cry now. Remind me never to make fun of them again."  
"You don't actually do that do you?"  
Ronnie shrugged. "Sometimes. You have to understand though Aby, a lot of those kids that come through only do it for attention. They think that telling me I saved them is going to get my attention. I can tell the ones that are faking it. The kids that I or my band or music in general actually did help don't ever say anything. Just like what you said, when you met me you didn't do that. I never even knew you were a fan until you told me at Harlot's show."  
"I wanted to. I wanted to tell you everything but I couldn't put the words together to make it mean anything. There was no way to explain to you how thankful I was. So I just kept it to myself."   
"That's exactly what I mean. No, those kids I would never make fun of. Because I understand them. I am one of those kids. I just...I don't know."  
Abigayl laced her fingers through his and squeezed his hand. "Don't worry. You'll be fine. Act exactly like you would want a fan to act towards you."  
"I can do that." He responded.   
"I just hope you get a chance to meet him."  
"Me too. I think." Ronnie said as he got back up. "Do you want anything else? There's a whole kitchen. I'll make you whatever I can find."  
Aby just laughed. "No, no. I'm fine. Thank you. This is going to sound horrible considering I slept in but I think I'm gonna lay down for a couple hours. Your son or daughter is doing the stop, drop, and roll today."  
Ronnie offered her a hand up. "Son. Let's just stick with son. I gotta admit- Come on -I'm really excited about you being pregnant again. I didn't think I would be."  
"Well trust me I'm happy to hear that. Give me a couple months and I'll start hating you both again but so far ive been okay. Just really worn out this time around. But as long as we're confessing I have to tell you I hate the fact that I have to stay up in the VIP boxes for this show. And I hate that Jacky is being such an ass about it and staying up there with me." She said as she crawled into the big bed.   
"You're not gonna change his mind Aby. And you're not going to change mine about you not being on that stage. I won't risk it. I'm sorry."  
She shrugged. "Don't be sorry for caring about me. I understand and I'm not going to fight it. I was just being honest."  
He smiled and kissed her forehead. "I appreciate that. I'm gonna go wake Jacks up and bring him in here. He's such a movie lightweight."

 

August 6th   
London, England

"Ronnie told me not to argue with you but I really wish you'd go be with him. I think he probably needs you more than I do right now."  
Jacky rolled his eyes at Abigayl's ongoing rant. They had made it to the stadium in plenty of time, still another hour before the show was supposed to start. He had only been in Wembley Stadium a couple times in his life and never had he seen it this full, but then again this wasn't exactly something he would have ever gone to if it wasn't for Aby and Ronnie. The amount of people down below them all blended together into an ever growing sea. Aby was safe up here but he couldn't leave her, wouldn't leave her.   
"I'm sure he's fine Aby. I'm not leaving you."  
Aby looking down over her shoulder at him. "You could go check on him then come back. That's not leaving me."   
"Will it make you feel better if I go check on him?"  
"Yes, what if he's down there all by himself? You wouldn't want to be there would you?"  
Jacky scoffed. "Fine. Hopefully I won't get lost." He said, leaving her in the air conditioned room.   
If Jacky was honest with himself he was a nervous mess. He was used to the shows they played and went to. Within their genre they in one way or another kind of knew everyone. Even people from the venues after awhile he started to remember. But this was so far out of his element it was terrifying. He didn't know anyone here and most of them were looking at him like he was the oddity, which he guessed he was.   
Jacky kept his head down as he tried to remember his way through the maze of hallways back to where they'd left Ronnie. He didn't belong here. Not once in his life had he even stood on the edge of this scene. And he wasn't like Aby who could just make friends with anyone. Abigayl had basically never met a stranger. Even though it was petty, Jacky almost hoped Ronnie wasn't fitting in here either.   
He should have known better.   
Rounding yet another corner, he found Ronnie amongst a group of guys, none of which Jacky knew. They were talking and laughing like they'd known each other forever. It always amazed him how Ronnie could do that, just fit in with whoever was around. Hell the guy probably could have thrown on Wranglers and cowboy boots and fit in at a country show. That's just who he was. This time he'd put on tennis shoes, leggings, long shorts and a long T-shirt all black. He looked comfortable. Jacky would have felt like a fraud. Even Aby had changed out of her weird dresses and into baggy sweatpants and a couple layered tank tops under a cropped hoodie. Same thing she wore when it was cold on tour most of the time. Jacky hadnt even thought about changing clothes. Maybe that's why everyone was staring him down.   
With confirmation that Ronnie was in fact just fine he turned back towards the hallway he'd come through only to have someone grab his hand and pull him to a stop.   
"Hey, you okay? Where's Aby?" Ronnie asked, a worried expression on his face.   
Jacky gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "She's upstairs. She wanted me to check on you. You know how she is. But obviously you're okay so I'm just gonna go bac-"  
He was cut off as Ronnie tilted his head up and gently kissed him. "Stay for a minute?"  
If he was going to keep kissing him Jacky was willing to stay there forever.   
"Yeah....actually no." He said, putting his hands against his chest. "I wanna go back to Aby."  
"Jacks? What's up with you? You've been jumpy the whole time we've been here."  
"I um, there was a guy in one of the hallways, thought he was looking at me like a plate of cheese fries."  
Ronnie just laughed. "Well you do look pretty yummy."  
"Stop that. Don't look at me like that. I'm serious, I do not belong here." He replied.   
That sweet smile faded from his face. "I know babe, I know. Nobody's going to hurt you though. I promise. You look like one of those kids the first time they go to a Slipknot show."  
"Very funny. I'm not a child. I can handle myself. It's just weird. You just fit in everywhere so you wouldn't really understand."   
"That's partially true. I am comfortable here. But take me to one of those classical symphonies and I guarantee I'd be just like you are now. Don't worry. Just try to enjoy it."  
Jacky nodded. "I will. I'm gonna get back to Aby before she does anything stupid. I told her to stay put. Hopefully she listened."  
"Alright. Call me when the shows over and I'll come find you."

Surprisingly Jacky found himself actually enjoying the show. While it wasn't his favorite kind of music he could see why kids would like this. The energy was amazing. Different but enthralling. By the time it was almost over he started wishing it wasn't. At least until the beginning of the next song started and Abigayl burst into tears. At first he hadn't understood. Jacky hadn't said anything, just wrapped his arms around her while she sang along. It didn't take long for him to understand why she was reacting that way. The song was called 'Sing For The Moment'. As far as he could tell it was all about pushing through everything even when the world was crushing you. About how music was there when nothing else was. Abigayl had told him about the time in her life when she herself had relied on it. How she would sit in Tristan's apartment with her headphones on, the volume up so loud her ears would ring just to drown out the voices in her head. Jacky had never been in the drug scene. Never come in to contact with any of it. So he couldn't fully understand what she had gone through, all he could do was hold her until the song was over.  
"I think this is one of the best nights of my life." Abigayl said through a smile as she leaned back against his chest. "Minus the night you guys picked me up in San Diego and brought me home. That was the best night. Thank you for dealing with...me. Ugh, all those people in here probably saw that. I'm so sorry."  
Jacky hugged her tight and kissed the top of her head. "Don't apologize. I'm not as weak as you think Aby. Nothing you can do will scare me, embarrass me, or run me off."  
She snaked her arm up and sunk her fingers into his hair. "Even when I can't tie my shoes by myself anymore?"  
"I will happily tie your shoes Aby. You just take care of that baby."  
"I will do my best. Are you ready to head out?" She asked.   
"Ronnie told me to call him when the show was over. Hold on." He let go of her long enough to pull his phone out and put it between his ear and shoulder then pulled her back into his arms. Ronnie answered in less than one ring.   
"Hold on J." He said hurriedly before trading a few words to someone else. "Okay, sorry babe I couldn't hear you. You guys okay? Enjoy the show?"  
Jacky laughed at his excitement. "Yeah we both did. Do you want to come to the hotel with us?"  
"Um, actually if you guys don't mind I'm gonna stay behind for a bit. I'll get a cab and be back in a while. You okay with that?"  
"Of course. I'll take Aby back and you have fun. But if I'm asleep when you get back wake my ass up. Remember, we aren't dating tomorrow."  
There was silence on the other end and Jacky was beginning to think Ronnie had hung up on him.   
"Not looking forward to that. Thinking maybe I want to take back what I said."  
"Aby stop." He said as she tried to grab the phone. "Hey why all of a sudden are you being so...sweet to me? Like the last few weeks since we got back from Florida."  
"We'll talk about this later tonight. Just go back to the hotel Jacks. I'll be there before long."  
Jacky cursed as the line went dead.   
"You think he's treating you differently?" Aby asked, turning around in his arms.   
He nodded. "He's treating me like he does you. I'm not saying it's bad, just different. I mean we've had moments of...vulnerability, but nothing like this. I want to know what happened."

"What in the hell are you doing?"  
Abigayl was sitting on the giant red leather couch of their suite, feet resting on the coffee table, watching Despicable Me on the big screen. Normal except she was using a fake Russian accent and talking gibberish.   
"Reading the German subtitles in my Russian spy voice. Ronnie and I used to do it all the time."  
Jacky shook his head and handed her a bottle of peach tea which she squealed over.   
"I don't really understand why you two keep me around. I'm nothing like either of you. I'm boring and overly predictable." He said, sitting on the coffee table in front of her.   
Aby smiled up at him, humor in those big green eyes. "You're not boring Jacky. You're quiet and you don't like to be the center of attention. You do goofy shit sometimes too. I think we do less stupid things with you around so that's probably a good thing. And predictable? We just flew to London to see my favorite musician ever play at Wembley Stadium. All because of you. That was definitely not predictable. You continue to surprise us even if you don't realize it."  
"You're completely full of shit Aby. I AM boring. That's just me. I'd rather play my guitar than go out meet people. I don't like people. Be honest with me, what exactly is it about me that you actually want me here for?"  
Had that really just come out of his mouth? What the fuck was wrong with him? Why all of a sudden was as he being so insecure?   
"Jacky stop this. What are you trying to do?"  
"He's trying to push himself out again."   
Aby smiled as they both turned to the sound of Ronnie's voice. He stood, hip against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. He gave Abigayl a small smile but nothing for him.   
Jacky sat up and leaned back on his hands on the table behind him. "So uh Ronnie, how was the rest of the show? You were gone longer than we expected."  
Ronnie didn't bite and as he walked over to stand in front Jacky couldn't help but feel like he was being stalked. Ronnie was was anything but gentle as he lifted his chin to force his eyes up.   
"What the hell do you want J? Do you need verbal validation of our feelings for you on a daily basis? How old are you? Grow the fuck up or get out." He said before letting go and stalking off towards the bedroom, door slamming behind him.   
"Well, that was....unexpected." Abigayl mused.   
"He's fucking right! I'm going for a walk."  
"Jacky!"

 

Well, he was an asshole. Straight up biggest dick around.   
Okay that was true in two ways.   
Fucking hell why in world had he gone off on Jacky like that? Ronnie laid back on the bed and ground the heels of his palms far enough into his eye sockets to see the Milky Way.   
"Ronnie? Let me come in a sec?"  
Aby didn't wait for a response before climbing up on the bed to sit beside him.   
"Jacky went for a walk. Why do I get the feeling your evening didn't go so well?" She asked, tracing circles on his chest.   
"It went fine. Better than fine actually. But do you know how much it matters to me in comparison to you and J? Nothing. It means nothing. And hearing him trying to make excuses to run again...I'm sorry I was that harsh, but I meant every word."  
She scoffed. "Yeah, I got that. But I don't think that's what he was doing. Honestly. I understand where he's coming from. Sometimes I wonder where I fit in with you two. I think it's normal and I think he was genuinely curious. And your attitude change towards him hasn't helped. He thinks you're faking."  
"Faking?"  
"All of a sudden you're super attentive? It does kind of look like you're forcing yourself to want to be with him. Like when a couple is overly sweet to one another because neither has the guts to end things. That's what this looks like from the outside."  
Shit. "I hadn't really thought about that. I can promise you Aby what I'm doing is like, totally opposite of that."  
She smiled. "I believe you. Go find him."

Jacky was sitting on a parking pylon down in the parking garage, a cigarette between his lips. So much for killing that habit.   
"J can I talk to you for a minute?"   
"Depends. You gonna manhandle me again? Because that part was kinda hot." He replied, biting his lip.   
"Don't do that. Don't look at me like that."  
Jacky gave him one of those smiles that lit up his whole world and Ronnie had go concentrate on why he was mad.   
"Okay fine. Let me have it then. Tell me how fucked up and insecure I am. How much I need your approval. How much I crave it."  
Why did that last sentence sound less like anger and more like a taunt? Maybe they didn't need to fight at all.   
Jacky didn't even flinch as he sat down on the yellow pylon beside him. Or when he leaned in and brushed his lips against the soft skin of his throat, just below his ear.  
"What exactly are you craving J?"  
"Not you." He said, pushing him back. "Believe it or not I do not need your validation. I was just asking a question earlier."  
"I know. Abigayl told me."  
"Fine then tell me what's been going on with you lately?" Jacky asked, standing up from the cold concrete.   
"I'm just done. I'm done tiptoeing around you." Ronnie answered him.   
"Excuse me?"  
"I spent the better part of three years pretending I didn't wanna touch you everytime I heard that stupid, sarcastic, British voice. And now that I can touch you I spend the majority of my time worrying about if what I'm doing is gonna make you uncomfortable in public. Truth is, I don't give a shit anymore. I don't care if you don't want to draw attention. If I want to say something I'm gonna do it. If I...if I wanna kiss you in front of a ton of people, I'm gonna fucking do it. Got it? And if you don't like it that's just too damn bad."  
Jacky cocked his head to the side, hair falling into his eyes before leaning down to his ear. "I love it when you get all demanding like that."  
Before Jacky had time to react Ronnie had him pushed up against the side of whatever SUV had been closest to them. "I like the new idea. Really like it."  
"Just shut up."  
He felt Jacky's laugh against his lips just before he pulled away.   
"Wait, wait."  
Ronnie let out a frustrated groan. "Why?"  
"Because." He replied, a mischievous light in his eyes. "Tell me you love me?"  
"Jacky you're a bratty little fuck, you know that?"   
"Yeah but you love me. That's all that matters. You wanna tell me what happened after the show?"  
Of course Jacky would ask. He always asked. He always cared more about what was going on with everyone else before himself.   
"Nah, I can tell you later. I thought you quit smoking?"  
Jacky shrugged as he brought the cigarette back to his lips. "I did. Then started then stopped then started. It's a vicious cycle really. You ever miss it?"  
"Only when I smell it on you. You could share you know."  
He watched as Jacky took a short drag and held it in before leaning in and softly kissing him, smoke mingling between their lips. That all but forgotten taste rolled across his tongue and Ronnie felt his head reel. Tugging on one of his snakebites, he pushed Jacky up against the door of the vehicle again only to have the alarm sound making them both jump away.   
"Go...go, go!" Jacky laughed as he pushed him towards the elevator to go back upstairs.   
By the time they got back to the room neither of them could even breathe they were laughing so hard.   
"Open the damn door J."  
"I don't have a key! I didn't think about it when I left."  
Ronnie shook his head and knocked on the door hoping Aby was still awake.   
It took her a few minutes but the doot finally swung open, and Abigayl greeted them with a frown.   
"What is up with you two? One minute you're fighting and the next you're all giggly and hanging all over each other."  
"We have a complicated relationship." He answered as they piled into the suite.   
"Whatever you say. We've got a long day tomorrow. I'm going to bed." She said, but then wrapped her arms around both of them. "You will tell me what happened after the show tomorrow?"  
Ronnie just nodded and kissed her forehead.   
"Good. Okay I'll be in bed if you need me."  
"She's kind of awesome, you know?" Jacky said, elbowing him in the side.   
"She is. Just don't tell her that. I'm with her though. Bed sounds good."  
Jacky just laughed. "You're getting old. Better get some sleep though. Tomorrow is gonna be rough. Hopefully Tommy will go home after the exhibit and we won't have to keep this charade up long."  
Ronnie had to agree with that. As much as he was looking forward to meeting J's family, his brother he could already live without.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 2.24

August 7th  
London, England 

 

"Jacky? Do you know where this art gallery is we're going to tonight?"   
Jacky let out a bitter laugh to himself as Aby stuck her head into the shower. It amused him that a few years ago he probably would have had a heart attack but now he couldn't remember the last time he'd truly showered alone.   
"Yeah, I know where it is." He said, turning the water off. "Hand me a towel if you're gonna hang out in here."  
Abigayl huffed but handed it to him. "I'm nervous to meet your brother and sister. Tessa more so than Tommy. Big sisters can be kind of overprotective."  
"Tessa isn't bad. She likes to tease. But she's pretty cool. You'll like her. I'm happy to see them again but not happy about having to watch you and Ronnie together. I'm tempted to just tell Tommy and deal with it."  
"I don't know J. It's just one evening. There's no point in angering him for the little bit of time we'll be with him. Just get ya a big ol' kiss before we leave." She said, twirling a piece of hair around her finger as she leaned into him.  
Aby's hands skimmed down his sides, tickling him a bit before coming to rest on his hips. Maybe he should have hurried up and got dressed. If she didn't stop soon he was gonna have her up against the sink.   
Oh what the hell.   
Jacky ran his hands up her thighs then lifted her up to sit on the black marble sink. Abigayl wrapped her legs around him and tugged on his bottom lip.   
"Whoa! I just came in to steal a straightener but can I watch?"  
Jacky let out a curse as Ronnie leaned against the doorframe and wrapped a towel around his hips.   
"Don't cover up on my account." He teased.   
"Fuck off."  
His exit was stopped by a hand on his chest.   
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm leaving. Stay with Aby."  
"Wait!" He said, grabbing Ronnie's hand. "I'm sorry. I just haven't had much time with Abigayl since we got home. I didn't mean to snap at you."  
Those big brown eyes smiled down at him. "I understand Jacks." He answered, kissing his forehead. "I'm gonna go finish getting ready and maybe walk down the street a bit. Just text me when you guys are ready."  
Ronnie was gone before either of them could get a word out.   
"Well then. That was weird." Abigayl said, hopping off the counter.   
Jacky lifted his arms as hers came around his waist and grabbed her hands. A shiver ran down his spine as she nuzzled against his back, lips brushing over his skin.   
"I thought you decided no sex for now?"   
Aby's arms tightened around him. "I did. I don't want to do anything that might stress out the baby. But it doesn't mean I can't touch you."  
Gently, he pulled her arms apart so he could turn to face her. "I don't know if that's a good idea."  
She slowly kissed a path from his shoulder down his chest all the way down to nip at his hip.   
"Aby...Abigayl stop. Come here." He said, pulling her back up for a kiss.   
"Fine. Will you stay with me while I take a shower? I've just been getting kind of dizzy in the heat." She said, a hint of shame in her voice.   
Jacky kissed her again and slid the straps of her dress off her shoulders letting the dark green material pool at her feet. She let out a heavy sigh and put her hands on her stomach.   
"Not gonna be able to see my feet before too long." She said unenthusiastically.   
"I'm okay with that. I know I probably shouldn't be but I'm really excited."  
Abigayl frowned as he knelt down to put his cheek against her skin. Sometimes they could feel movements and it only made him more eager.   
"Actually it helps J. Your excitement helps me not dwell on the what ifs." She replied, her fingers sinking into his still damp hair. "Can I tell you something in confidence?"  
"Of course."  
"If something...bad happens this time, I'm not trying again. I can't do this again. I don't want too."  
Jacky stood back up as he heard the crack in her voice and wrapped his arms around her. "I don't blame you Aby. And that's your choice. I'll support you no matter what you decide. You know that."  
"I do. Thank you Jacky. Okay, shower time. I'll hurry." She said pulling away from him.   
"Take your time. I'll be here."

Abigayl was fussing over nothing. She'd been through every piece of clothing in her suitcase and was still standing in the bedroom in nothing but purple lace. Jacky watched as she frowned at the pile of clothes on the floor, one hand absently coming to rest over her stomach. They weren't going to be able to hide her pregnancy much longer, if they could even pull it off now. Surely telling his parents would be okay.   
"Aby? Come on love, tell me what's wrong?"  
"I don't want to wear anything I brought with me. None of it fits right. Call Ronnie to get me that feed bag 'cause I am definitely a cow."  
Jacky tried not to laugh, she wasn't joking. "Abigayl you are not a cow. You are beautiful and um, skinny? Very skinny. You can hardly even tell you've gained any weight."  
The death glare she turned on him actually made him flinch.   
"Let me help you pick something?" He suggested.   
"Yeah, okay." She replied, sitting up on the bed to watch him dig through her clothes. "Jacks? Are we ever gonna talk about the dates?"  
Jacky tried to pretend the question didn't bother him. He would have been perfectly happy not having this conversation.   
"Do we need too? I told Ronnie before that I didn't care one way or another. I wanted to be part of this family whether it's my kid or not and that hasn't changed. I'm not going anywhere unless you guys want me out." He finished, handing her a pair of black leggings and an off the shoulder shirt that was printed with an extremely faded Union Jack.   
Abigayl hugged the clothes to her chest and took a couple deep breaths like she was trying not to cry.   
"I hope you really mean that because I can't lose you again."  
"Nothing to worry about sweetie. I promise. Now come on and get dressed. We gotta get going." 

 

"Hey, come here a sec."  
Abigayl watched in the rearview mirror as Ronnie tangled his fingers in Jacky's hair and pulled him in for the type of kiss that made her want to go back to the hotel. This would be the last time tonight they could touch like this though. It wasn't for her.   
One more space forward and a valet helped her from the rental Mercedes. She left him the keys and met the boys on the staircase that led up to the building where the art gallery was being held. This wasn't usually something Abigayl would choose to go to but a little culture wouldn't hurt.  
Before they had even started up the stairs Ronnie's phone went off. He frowned, pulling it from his pocket.   
"It's my dad. I gotta take this. Go on in, I'll be there in a few minutes."   
Aby looped her arm through Jacky's just for stability to get up the stairs. No reason to risk getting dizzy here.   
Inside she reluctantly let him go and looked around. There were a ton of people all very stereotypically varied. All walks of life wondering around viewing the paintings and sculptures scattered throughout the gallery. That was a relief considering she they hadn't really dressed up.   
"Jacky!"   
Abigayl turned to the foreign voice to see a woman about J's height coming towards them, a proud smile on her face. She had short light brown hair that was longer in the front than the back and bright blue eyes. She wore a light brown sweater dress and dark brown boots. Tessa was exactly what Aby thought Jacky would look like as a girl. Just as beautiful as her mother too.   
"Hey Tessa." He replied as he hugged his sister. "There's so many people here. Aren't you nervous?"  
Tessa waved the comment away. "I was but I've heard nothing but positive feedback so far. That's not important right now though. Tommy will be here soon and I want to meet your family."  
"Well this is half of it. Tessa this is Abigayl, Aby, my sister Tessa." Jacky said, motioning between them. "Ronnie should be in soon. His dad called so he's outside."  
"Aby, it's so nice to finally meet you! Jacky talks about you all the time. He's always going on about how pretty his girlfriend is. I of course told him no one could compare to his favorite sister but now I'm thinking I have some competition. Come on, give me a hug."  
Abigayl was momentarily stunned as Tessa pulled her into a tight hug.   
"It's good to meet you too. And no, I'm no competition to you. I'm starting to think Jacky's whole family won the aesthetic lottery."  
Tessa laughed at that. Even her laugh was beautiful. "I love you already. I need more champagne. Do you guys want anything?"   
"I'm good." Jacky answered.  
"Maybe just water?" Aby asked.   
Tessa narrowed her eyes letting them roam from head to toe. "I'm guessing there's a reason for the lack of alcohol?"  
Abigayl hesitated then nodded.   
Jacky's sister let out a little squeal. "Don't worry, I'll keep my mouth shut. Come with me, we'll find you something."  
Jacky didn't say anything, just rolled his eyes as she was drug away. 

"Seriously Aby, do you have any idea how adorable you are? Like I wanna take you everywhere with me."   
Abigayl couldn't stop giggling as Tessa handed her a flute of sparkling juice.   
"I don't think I agree with you there. But thank you. Um you said Jacky talks about us a lot. He hasn't told us much about you or Tommy..."  
Tessa shrugged. "That doesn't surprise me. JJ never talks about himself. You have to force him too. But that doesn't matter. You'll have plenty of time to get to know me this week. I'm coming down to stay at my parents for a bit after the showing. Spend some time with family. Mum said you three were going to take some time off there too?"  
Aby nodded. "For Ronnie, mainly. He just let's himself get worn out too much. Needed to get him out of LA and out of phone service. I wish I could help him learn how to say no to people. But also for Jacky to see his family. That's important to us."  
"You two are very good for my brother. I can tell. I have to admit I am very interested in meeting Ronnie. Jacky used to talk about him almost constantly. Tommy had a bit of a breakdown when JJ started listening to him. He used to look up to Tommy. Wanted to be just like his big brother. Then this Ronnie guy comes along and J can talk about nothing else. I think it kind of pissed Tommy off. I want to see for myself if he lives up to the hype."  
"Well you may be a bit disappointed. He um, he's trying to be on his best behavior to meet you guys. But he's also been kind of quiet the last couple of days. Like I said, he's tired. So don't write him off for a few days."  
Tessa just smiled. "Don't worry, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Besides, Jacky loves him so I'll be nice. This little charade you're putting on for my brother will be interesting to watch too though."

They continued to talk until they got back to where Jacky was standing with a man a little taller than himself with cropped brown hair and dark blue eyes. He was built more like Dominic than Jacky was. More muscle bulk, but definitely was his brother. So this was Tommy?  
"Ah, this must be your beautiful wife then eh Jacky?" Tommy said, elbowing J in the side and motioning towards her.  
Wife?  
Abigayl tried to keep the surprise off her face as she shook Tommy's hand but she could see it reflected in Tessa's expression. Why the hell had Jacky told him she was his wife? That was not part of the plan. Honestly she wanted to oust him but those big blue eyes were pleading for her not to and she gave in. Ronnie was going to kill them both.  
"Abigayl." She said, shaking his brother's hand. "It's nice to meet you."  
"You too love. I just can't get over Jacky actually getting married. Seems like he turned out alright after all."  
"He did. Honestly I've a very lucky girl. I know you've just arrived but I need to steal my husband for a few minutes. Will you excuse us?"  
The two nodded and Aby took Jacky's hand, pulling him into a small alcove off the main room.  
"What the hell are you doing Jacky? This was not how this was supposed-"  
"I know! Aby I know. I just...I panicked. Tommy was talking about how it was obvious I wasn't 'fixed' since I was here alone and started saying all sorts of nasty things about Nikky and I just flipped. I'm so sorry. I'll g- I'll go tell him the truth."  
"No!" She said, grabbing his arm. "The deed is already done. Just pray Ronnie doesn't take your head off for it."  
"Take his head off for what?"Ronnie asked, sliding his phone back into his pocket.  
Jacky looked absolutely horrified.  
"Our genius boyfriend decided to tell his brother that he and I are married." She said, watching J stare and the ground.  
"Okay, I guess I'm on my own then. Let's just get this over with."  
Jacky's head snapped up so fast she thought his neck would snap.  
"You're not mad at me?" He asked.  
"I'm definitely not happy with you but there's nothing I can really do about it. You can make it up to me later." Ronnie answered almost threateningly.  
Abigayl wasn't falling for it. He was pissed and trying his best to hide it.

By the time they were in the car on the way to Portsmouth Abigayl was exhausted both mentally and physically. Tommy had announced that he would be spending a few days at home too. She had suggested they just find a hotel but Ronnie had declined. He just kept saying they'd deal with it. Hell he'd even accepted Tommy's offer to ride with him. Which was why she and Jacky were now alone in the Mercedes, riding in an uncomfortable silence. The mood she was in all she wanted to do was scream at him, so instead she stayed quiet.  
"About ten more miles. Are you really going to not speak to me the whole way there?"  
Abigayl let out a long breath. "I don't have anything nice to say Jacky. I'm exhausted and your kid is doing backflips. I just don't feel like talking right now."  
Jacky nodded, his blue eyes sad. "I'll make sure you have a place to sleep when we get there. I just...I just don't want you and Ronnie going to bed mad at me."  
"Wishful thinking J. I'm not mad at you. I'm just not real impressed with how you handled this whole situation. Doesn't mean I love you any less though."  
Abigayl had to admit the flash of a smile curving his lips made her less angry.   
"I love you too. Even if I am an idiot." He replied as they pulled into the driveway of his parent's house.

 

Abigayl was asleep. He could hear her breathing change as she relaxed and drifted off. Jacky tightened his arms around her, just needing to keep her close. He hadn't meant to stress her out they way he had. He assumed Aby's well being was probably why Ronnie hadn't voiced his anger at the gallery. His silence hadn't done any good though. Abigayl had fallen asleep almost the instant she had laid down. Now if only he could do the same. But he couldn't and he knew why.   
Trying to be gentle, he untangled himself from Aby and slid out of bed. Everything was quiet as he snuck across the hall and sent up a silent thanks that the door was unlocked. Opening the door, the darkness engulfed him but he remembered the layout of the room. Or so he thought.   
Nope!   
Jacky let out a curse as his knee collided with the corner of what felt like a giant wooden chest.   
"Jacky?" Ronnie asked sleepily as he flipped a lamp on beside the bed. "J what the hell are you doing?"  
"Just uh, making more stupid decisions. Go back to sleep." He answered, turning for the door.   
"Wait. You obviously came over here for a reason. What was it?"  
"Don't worry about it."   
Before Ronnie could say anything else Jacky hightailed it out of the bedroom but pulled up short in the hallway. He didn't want to go back to Abigayl. He wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. Instead he made a beeline downstairs and into the living room. Laying down on the brown leather couch he put his hands behind his head and closed his eyes.   
"Jacky? Babe where are you?"   
"Living room." He whispered back, his voice sounding like thunder in the silence of the room.  
"Move your ass over."   
Jacky tried not to get his hopes up as he scooted over so Ronnie could lay down with him but it was impossible. Especially as they lay there chest to back, he nuzzled into the back of Jacky's neck and made him shiver.   
"It's been one hell of a day. I'll be happy when your brother goes home. I do learn some interesting things about you on the drive here though. I think Tommy misses you J. Like a lot."   
Tommy? Miss him? Yeah, right.   
"O my because he can't lecture me and bully me anymore. Excuse me for not being particularly sympathetic towards him."  
Ronnie scoffed. "I'm not saying you should be, but really. He said you used to be like his shadow when you are we going younger. Did you look up to him back then?"  
"Yeah. I mean, Tommy and my dad taught me to play guitar. They taught me music. So I wanted to be just like them."  
"What happened? He made it sound like one day you just flipped and wanted nothing to do with him anymore."  
Jacky shrugged. "You happened. I was seventeen. I told you I wanted to be good enough to be part of something like you had. I didn't know about all the drugs and stuff until later. So my 'hero' worship transferred from my brother to you. I didn't think he cared though."  
"He definitely cared. Said he's hated me for a long time just because of that. I think he's okay with me now though. Maybe you should try talking to him sometime before he leaves though."  
Yeah, probably not.   
"Okay, I'll try."  
That earned him a tight squeeze.   
"You never told us what happened at the concert."  
"Oh, let's just say you'll find out on the next tour. Now stop talking." He said, rolling him on to his back.   
Jacky ran his hands up his arms as Ronnie tugged on his snakebites demanding compliance. He opened for him as their lips met again and rolled to press closer against him.   
"We can't do this right now."   
Jacky groaned at his words and tried to kiss him again. Ronnie just laughed and pulled away.   
"Seriously, Jacky stop. Baby stop...."  
Jacky conceded, burying his face into Ronnie's throat. He still wasn't used to not getting a face full of hair anymore.   
"Tomorrow's going to be better." Ronnie mused, his hand rubbing up and down his spine.   
"I really hope so."  
They talked for awhile longer, some things important, some mundane. Didn't matter. Funny though, he didn't remember either of them falling asleep.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 2.25

August 8th  
Portsmouth, England

"Should we wake them up?"  
"Probably, but I hate to."  
Sleepily, Jacky opened his eyes to see Tessa and their mom standing in the living room. Sunlight filtered in through the window behind them.   
"What are you guys doing?" He asked, his voice rough from sleep.   
Tessa put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes.   
"Saving you apparently. Don't you think you two should go back upstairs before Tommy wakes up? And you better not have done anything on our couch. We have to sit there you know?"  
His mom scoffed. "Trust me sweetie if they had done anything you would have heard them."  
As Tessa pulled a nasty face, Jacky felt Ronnie sit up behind him.   
"That's true. Your brother is LOUD." He said, rubbing at his eyes.   
"That's just gross. I gotta go shove knives in my ears." She replied before leaving the room.   
"I hate you both." Jacky said, standing up to stretch. "Come upstairs with me? Finish what you started last night?"  
"And that's my cue to leave."  
"Wait, mum." He said, grabbing her hand. "Thank you. For...everything."  
She smiled and patted his arm. "You're welcome. For...everything." She teased. "With the girls' help I should have breakfast ready in about an hour so whatever you do make it quick."  
Jacky rolled his eyes. "Don't worry mum. Knowing Ronnie we'll be back down before you even get started."  
"I heard that!"  
"You boys are horrible." She said, heading off into the kitchen.   
"That was rude J." Ronnie said, pinching the back of his arm.   
"Then come prove me wrong."

"Admit you were wrong or I'm towel snapping you again."  
Jacky scoffed as he pulled on a pair of ripped up Black skinny jeans. "You snap me and I will make sure you have to do the naked walk of shame through the house this time."  
Ronnie just grinned at him. "Do it. I have no shame. I'm sure your sister would love it."  
"You stay away from my sister. Dude she was looking at you like I look at sushi. She'd take a bite out of you."  
That rough laugh reached his ears making his heart feel lighter.   
"Don't worry. I don't want anything to do with Tessa. She and Aby seemed to hit it off though."  
Jacky nodded and grabbed his bag to head back to the bedroom. "They did. It's good. She needs all the friends she can get right now."  
"That's true."  
Jacky felt a hand run lightly down his arm, fingers lacing through his own just before they reached the bedroom door. The hallway was empty. No one around to catch them so he let Ronnie press him back against the wall. He kissed him with a hurried desperation that Jacky didn't quite understand.   
"You okay?" He asked between kisses.   
"Mhm." Ronnie answered, lips trailing softly down his neck. "Didn't like going to bed alone."  
Jacky tried to pretend that admission hadn't stunned him a bit. All these years and he was still terrified of being alone. Letting his bag fall to the ground, Jacky let his hands wander, fingers skimming over warm skin, trailing down his ribs.   
The laugh he felt vibrate against his lips made him happier than it should. The big bad wolf was ticklish. Extremely so.   
The sound of someone clearing their throat was the only reason they came up for air and Jacky stared in horror at his brother, stood just aways down the hall. As his heart stopped beating all he could do was wish this was a dream.   
Tommy closed his eyes and shook his head. "I wish I could say I'm surprised. Really Jacky I'm just disappointed in you." Was he said before disappearing down the stairs.   
His brother knew. Knew exactly what to say to hurt him the most and that was it.   
Closing his eyes, Jacky let himself slide down the wall and put his head in his hands, pulling his knees up to his chest.   
"Jacky. I'm so sorry. I-"  
"Can you just go? I just wanna be alone right now." He said, the words muffled against his hands.   
Ronnie didn't argue and the second the bedroom door clicked shut behind him the dam broke. God, all he wanted to do was crawl into a hole and die. He settled on crawling into his room and locking the door. 

By the time he finally made it downstairs, Jacky found the kitchen empty and his dad sat in the living room, old acoustic guitar in hand.   
"Where is everyone?" He asked.   
Dominic slowly looked up at him then set the guitar aside and stood up to meet him.   
"They went back up to London. Tessa has to pack her work and get her car. Ronnie told them you wanted some alone time so we didn't bother you."  
"Tommy went with them then?"  
He shook his head. "No, Tommy headed back to Paris."  
Jacky sat on the coffee table as his legs gave out. "Because of me? He went home because of me."  
His dad gave him a sympathetic look which was abnormal to begin with but then he hugged him and once again Jacky felt like that ten year old boy who'd come home from school in tears. Only this time it wasn't other kids hurting him. It was his own family. After the fiasco that happened when he and Nikky had got together he would have assumed he'd been used to Tommy's disappointment in him. Apparently that wasn't True.   
"Tommy left because he's an asshole. Not because of you. Don't let him make you feel bad for what you have. Honestly if I had to guess I'd say he's jealous of you JJ."  
"Jealous of me? Why? I think he's done okay for himself." He replied, pulling back.   
"He has but I think your brother always thought you would end up over in Paris with him. He's got friends there but nothing like the family you have now. I think that's what it's always been about. You were his best friend."   
As that realization hit him Jacky had to sit back down. He'd never thought about Tommy's behavior that way.   
"Maybe Ronnie was right. Maybe I do need to sit down and talk this out with him. Becuase it's hurting me just as much as it's hurting him."  
His dad ruffled his hair before going to his guitar.  
Jacky couldn't help but smile. "Who are you and what have you done with my dad?" He joked.  
Dominic rolled his eyes. "I've been all but sequestered here with your mother since you moved. I"m losing my hard ass edge."  
"Nah, you're still scary. But if I'm honest mum's scarier."  
His dad laughed at that. "Don't you dare tell her, but I agree with you there."  
Jacky smiled, looking down at his hands and following the chords as his dad lightly strummed the guitar.  
"What about you dad? Are you- Are you disappointed in me?" He asked, not willing to look up at him.  
The silence stretched between them and Jacky closed his eyes.  
"Jacky, look at me."  
When he looked up his father's blue eyes smiled at him.  
"I am in no way disappointed in you. Just the opposite. I'm proud of all my kids Jacky. But you carried out my dream as well as our own. I've never been anything but proud of you."  
"Even." He started, voice cracking. "Even after Nikky and with Abigayl and Ronnie?"  
His father scoffed. "Especially after all that. Nikky I wasn't thrilled with simply because he only treated you well at home or here. But as for Ronnie and Abigayl, I don't care who you live with or sleep with JJ. I just want whoever it is to treat you how you deserve to be treated and they do. They love the hell out of you. Abigayl is easy to love. But Ronnie impresses me more and more all the time. I was afraid, judging by how you talked about him, that he may take advantage of you becuase of how established in music he was already. But talent recognizes talent, and he realizes how much you're worth to him musically. I respect him for that. I am very happy to call them family Jacky."  
For the second time today, Jacky could feel tears burning behind his eyes. Out of every person he'd ever met, his dad was the one he looked up to above all else, and hearing that proclamation from him was the highest compliment he could ever get.  
"Thank y-" He stopped, wiping at his eyes. No way was he going to cry like a child in front of this man. "Fuck. I'm sorry."  
Dominic smiled. "You've been through a lot these past few years. Ever thought about following your boyfriend's example and talking to someone about it all?"  
"A shrink? I've never really thought about it. Maybe I could just talk to you instead?" He asked seriously.  
His dad arched a brow at him. "You want to talk to me? If that's what you'd like then I'd be happy to listen."  
"I'd like that. Sometimes I could use some one to talk to. And thank you, for what you said. That means a lot to me."  
"You're very welcome bud. Now go upstairs, grab a guitar and jam with me."  
Now that he could do.

 

He so did not want to be here. And he definitely didn't want to be here alone. Not with her.  
Ronnie sat down the last covered painting in a spare room of Tessa's flat and wiped his hands on his jeans for lack of anyting else to do. He should have argued more. Abigayl hadn't understood and he couldn't outright tell her without upsetting Jacky's mom. So now he was stuck in London to ride back with Tessa. 'Bonding' time she'd call it. Yeah, right. Ronnie was pretty sure that was the farthest thing from her mind right now.  
"That the last one?" Tessa asked, coming into the room.  
"Yeah, you ready to go?"  
She shrugged. "Thought we could hang out awhile. If you're going to be part of my family I should at least get to know you better."  
"Well, we can talk in the car can't we? I mean it is almost a two hour drive." He prompted. Spending more time with her alone was so not on his to do list.  
Tessa huffed and sauntered off down the hall. He followed but stayed in the living room while she desappeared into the kitchen. She returned a few moments later with two glasses of white wine.  
"Sorry, I don't drink anymore. But thanks." Ronnie declined when she offered a glass. That was half true. He hadn't had a drop of alcohol since Vegas.  
"Buzzkill, aren't you?" She questioned, taking a sip of her own then sitting both glasses on the coffee table.   
The next thing he knew Tessa had pushed him backwards on to the couch. She climbed on to his lap, attaching her lips to his throat. As quick and gentle as possible he grabbed her wrists and pushed her back.  
"What the fuck are you doing?"  
She scoffed, trying to lean back into him as she ground her hips into his. "Don't pretend like you're not in to it. I saw you watching me all day yesterday. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone." She finished, pulling her hands out of his.   
Tess put her hands on either side of his face, kissing him hard enough their teeth hit together. As her tongue brushed across his lips, Ronnie put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her backwards.  
That's when the nightmare came to life.  
Tessa fell backwards off him, her shoulder and head slamming into the hard oak table, wine glasses spilling on to the floor. He couldn't catch her quick enough.  
"Tessa! Fuck..."  
She clutched her head as he reached for her, rolling on to her side and letting out a horrible groan.  
"Tessa, can you hear me? I am so sorry. I didn't mean to push you that hard. God, I'm so sorry. Let me help you."  
"Don't touch me!" She half screamed back at him.   
He watched idly as she got back on her feet still holding her hand to the back of her head.  
"Tes-"  
"Just shut the hell up." She said, turning away and hurring down the hallway.  
Ronnie ungracefully sat down on the couch.  
What the hell had he just done? And more importantly what was he supposed to do now?

It was at least twenty minutes later before Tessa came back into the living room. He had done his best to clean up the wine. He'd needed something to distract himself when all he wanted to do was go check on her.  
"Come on. We're going back to the house."  
"But we should talk abou-"  
She shook her head. "No, we're not talking. Just get in the car."  
He couldn't really argue.  
The ride back to Portsmouth seemed to take forever. Tessa didn't say a word to him the entire time, but she kept texting someone though he never could figure out who.  
"Will you please say something?" He asked as they were pulling into the driveway.  
"I have nothing to say to you." She replied, wrenching the door open.  
Ronnie let out an exasperated breath before following her into the house. But what he saw as they walked into the living room made him want to slink right back outside.  
Abigayl sat with Jacky on the couch, his arms wrapped tightly around her. Madelyn sat on the opposite side holding her hand. Dominic stood, head bent in conversation with another man that Ronnie assumed was a cop.  
Why the hell was there a cop?  
"This him?" The man asked as Dominic pulled his daughter into his arms.  
"Yes." She said weakly. "He's the one that assulted me. Please, just get him out of here."  
"Excuse me?! What the hell is going on? I didn't touch her!"   
"Oh yeah, then how do you explain this?" Tessa said, pulling the collar of her shirt away to show a huge bruise along the side of her neck that was slowly turning dark purple.  
"Say no more ma'am. I'll take the trash out."  
As the cop read him his rights and cuffed his hands behind his back all Ronnie wanted to do was scream until his voice was gone. No way in hell this was happening again. He couldn't go back to prison. He couldn't.  
"Aby? Jacky? You guys can't seriously believe this? You know me better than this!"  
"Shut up and leave these people alone." The cop said, pushing him out of the house.

 

"This is insane. Do you honestly believe what Tessa is saying? Jacky I know she's your sister but there has got to be some other explanation." Aby said as she packed yesterday's clothes back into her suitcase.  
Jacky rested his palms on the mattress, shoulders slumped. "I don't know Aby. I want to believe she's lying but you saw those bruises. What other explanation could there be?"  
"I don't have an answer, but I know my husband. He wouldn't have done that. I'm ready to go."  
They both picked up their bags and headed downstairs. No one even spoke to her. Madelyn and Dominic hugged Jacky and let him go. His parents had tried to convice him to stay while Abigayl flew home. Jacky had refused much to her relief. He told them they weren't leaving without Ronnie and he wasn't abandoning her either. Hearing that, Aby had thought J felt the same way she did. Like none of this was true. Maybe she'd read into it too deep.  
The twenty minute drive to the police station was the longest she had ever endured. But when they pulled into the parking lot Jacky didn't get out of the car.  
"Jacks? What's wrong?" She asked, looking around the parking lot. Nothing stood out to her as wrong.  
"Tommy's car is here. I thought he left for Paris. That's what my dad said."  
"That's what he told everyone he was doing when he left the house this morning." She told him as they got out of the car.  
Jacky was quiet as they went into the station. The place was packed and busy, people everywhere.  
Tommy sat in one of the chairs in waiting, his fingers pressed together. He looked pissed.  
"Tommy, what are you doing here?" Jacky asked, quietly sitting down beside him.  
"Trying to save your boyfriend's ass from prison. But this is taking for fucking ever. When I told them I had evidence to exonerate him they couldn't seem to care less."  
Abigayl felt her heart skip a beat. She knew it!  
"Evidence? What do you have?" She asked.  
"More importantly why would you come forward with it considering this is a sure fire way to get him away from me?" Jacky tacked on.  
Tommy scoffed. "Becuase when I left the house I headed up to London to visit friends there since I was still on holiday. I kept thinking about seeing you two in the hall this morning and realized no matter how much I didn't agree with it you and Ronnie belong together. It just works. And he makes you happy. I guess that's all I really wanted. So when Tessa text me and told me what she was planning I pretended to go along with it and came back to town. I was hoping I could get here before her but obviously not."  
J seemed stunned by his brother's words and while she was happy that he was no longer mad at Jacky she had more questions.  
"So Tessa made it up? What happened?"  
"Ronnie told her no. That's what it all winds down to. He pushed her but only because she tried to kiss him. That's what the bruises are from. Nothing happened. That's when Tessa called my mom and dad."  
"Who called the police." Jacky interjected. "Can she get in trouble for this? Because whether or not Ronnie is found innocent or not if this hits the news it's still going to be bad."  
"A lot of that may depend on Ronnie. I can't say. She lied to an officer. I'm not sure what will happen to her."  
"Tommy Vincent?"  
They all looked up at a woman probably in her mid forties wearing a blackish blue suit.  
"We're ready for you now." She said stoically.  
Jacky put an arm around her shoulders as his brother left with the woman.

Two hours went by.  
They watched another cop bring Tessa in and she had to wrap her arms around J's arm to keep him seated. The last thing they needed was him arrested for trying to maim his sister. Jacky's parents showed up a few minutes later. Neither of them would even speak to them.  
Just as the clock ticked over to two and a half hours the door they had seen Tessa disappear through opened and a cop walked out followed by both Tessa and Ronnie. Abigayl bet she had the same dumbstruck look on her face as Jacky did as the two hugged and Tessa continued out a side door of the building. The fuck was going on?  
Ronnie didn't give either of them time to speak before he pulled her into his arms, hugging her so tight she was practically being broke in half. Baby wasn't all that ecstatic about the sudden pressure but Abigayl wrapped her arms around his neck and held on as long as he needed her to.   
"Ronnie? Are you okay?" She heard Jacky ask from behind her.  
Aby felt him lift his head from her shoulder just enough to look at J.  
"Jacky, I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt her. I just reacted without thinking first. This should never have happened."  
Abigayl pushed him back from her then because he was right.  
"No." She interjected. "It shouldn't have. I should have listened to you when you said you didn't want to stay with her."  
Jacky just smiled before pulling him into a hug. "I know you didn't mean to hurt her. I'm not mad. I'm just glad you're okay. You're free to go, right?"  
Ronnie nodded. "Yeah...Jacky I can't go back there again. I can't go back to prison."  
Jacky seemed stunned for a moment then just tightened his arms.  
"Come on. Let's get out of here." She said, directing them towards the door.

"Where should we go?" Abigayl asked, looking into the rearview mirror of the Mercedes. Ronnie hadn't been willing to let go of Jacky so they'd both crawled into the backseat. J ran his hand up and down his arm as Ronnie laid with his head in his lap. It had only been about six hours since he'd been arrested but it looked as if he hadn't slept in days. Abigayl couldn't even imagine the horror that had gone on inside his head in those few short hours.  
"Just find a hotel. Maybe going back to London would be a good idea. I'm not sure my family will want us staying at the house right now. So if you think you can drive that long then do that." Jacky answered.  
"Can do. Ronnie what's going to happen to Tessa? Did they tell you? Why did she get to leave?"  
He took a deep breath and Jacky's hand came to rest on his hip.  
"I didn't want her to end up in jail. I didn't press charges or anything. The lady that was in there with us said Tessa's court date would be in a few weeks but she was sure there wouldn't be any jail time. Just a pretty substantial fine. She's out on bail now."  
Jacky frowned. "Who paid the bail? Mum and dad?"  
Ronnie shook his head. "No, I paid it. People do stupid things when they want attention. I know that from experience. I felt like she was truly sorry when she came in. No reason to make her suffer for one stupid mistake."  
Abigayl couldn't help but smile.   
"But that mistake could have landed you back in prison Ronnie." Jacky pointed out.  
"I know. I don't want to argue about it J. I'm having a hard time even keeping my eyes open."  
Jacky smiled, running his fingers through his hair. "Well, thank you. For helping my sister even though she didn't deserve it. Go to sleep. I'll wake you up when we get to the city."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 2.26

August 8th  
London, England 

The first thing he'd done was cut all his hair off.   
Years later Ronnie still found it ridiculous that, that action had been so monumental, what really brought it all into reality for him.   
He was going back to jail and he'd known it. The court had deemed him a flight risk and put him under house arrest the week before the trial. Max's mom had spoken up saying she'd take responsibility for him during that time. She had never even come home and neither had Max.   
He'd been thrown into county lock up in purple skinny jeans, a black Green Day shirt, and far too much hairspray. Definitely not a good way to start. If he was going to survive going back he had to make sure he looked different and hope the rollover rate was just as high as it had been three months ago.   
So sitting there in Max's mom's apartment with a razor he'd chopped his hair off.   
The second thing he'd done was lay on the dirty old carpet and stare at the electronic bracelet around his ankle as he cried like a child. The bravado had faded into terrifying reality. Could he really survive this again?   
That was the longest week of his life and by the time his lawyer and a cop picked him up for the arraignment he was exhausted and starving. Neither of them seemed to notice, much less care.   
Max had promised to be there for the hearing. He never showed. The one person he needed most had left him alone.   
His lawyer said six to eight months in county. A year at the most. The gavel fell. Two to five years in High Desert State Prison.   
Two to five years.   
And he was alone.   
Max had abandoned him.   
And all he could hear was his dad's booming voice.   
"Stop crying you little bitch. You're too fucking old to cry."

Ronnie woke with a start, heart pounding against his ribs. Lovely, the nightmares were back. Why did they have to feel so real?   
Absently he rubbed at the center of his chest like his father had hit him again but it wasn't real. Just a horrible replay of the past as his dad had attempted to 'toughen' up his eleven year old son. He'd ended up with two broken ribs and a cracked sternum. Honestly he had no idea how he had healed considering the hospital wasn't an option. But he remembered not being able to take a deep breath for months.   
Taking a deep calming breath he savored the feel of Abigayl's back pressed into him, a long line of warmth. He'd never admit it but his hand shook as he ran it down her side and across her distended stomach. Adrian moved, pushing up against his palm. The pressure was alarmingly comforting.   
It was strange to be lying there. Sometimes he still felt like the world was moving around him as he stayed stationary. Like he wasn't allowed to live in the mundane everyday world. It was all too...normal. Normal people were born, grew up with a family and then had families of their own. They had neighborhood barbecues and went to parent teacher conferences. They lived their entire lives not making a rift in space. Soon to be forgotten.   
Sometimes he craved that.   
But the voice in his head would scream that it wasn't for him. He couldn't fit in that mold. It was right.   
And right then laying there with his arms around his girlfriend, hand resting over his baby, the voice was screaming that he didn't deserve this.   
Maybe what he'd gone through, the things he'd seen really had tarnished him in some way. Sure he could joke about those years locked up now but the horror was still there. The things he'd seen trapped inside his skull forever. At first he had tried to tell himself it was just like a movie. It had almost worked until a riot that left four men dead broke out and his life had been threatened. Terrified didn't even begin to explain how he'd felt. It led to paranoia and anxiety the likes of which he'd never even dreamt of. Tack on going through drug withdrawals and he was basically a basket case. Solitary confinement had been his light in the darkness.   
But how does a person detach from that and live a normal life?   
His life would never be normal. Music was his passion and no way would he give that up for some apple pie life. But even if he did, Ronnie doubted he'd ever feel normal. And maybe that was his curse to bare. Trying to fit into a life that didn't understand where he came from. Sometimes it was enough to make him want to scream.  
As he lay there becoming more and more agitated, Jacky's arm snaked around his waist, warm breath crept along the skin on his back.  
"It's like three in the morning. Why are you awake?" He asked barely above a whisper.  
"Nightmares I guess. Didn't mean to wake you up."  
Jacky shrugged. "Don't worry about me. Try to go back to sleep."  
"I don't think I want to." He replied honestly.  
"If you make me get out of this warm bed you better take the top off the hot tub becuase it's freezing out there."  
"Jacky it is not that cold and you're whiney but I'll do it for you anyway." He said, carefully crawling over him to get out of bed.  
The second his feet hit the carpet Jacky wrapped the blankets back around himself. How the hell was he always so cold?   
Becuase he's an alien. Duh.  
In the semi darkness he walked through the penthouse suite into a large rec area where the majority of the room was lined with floor to ceiling windows. Abigayl had done a good job picking a room. She knew what he liked.  
Flipping the lid of the hot tub back, Ronnie trailed his fingers through the warm water and had to admit it felt pretty good. Knowing Jacky would want it hotter he turned the heat up a few degrees before pulling his phone out of his pocket.  
Two chicks had been arguing on one of his instagram posts. One of the names he'd seen enough to recognize. Scrolling down to the bottom he read the last comment from the girl he didn't know. 

@BlackWidow93: @MyApocalypse_Lynn I wasn't saying she was mean. I just think it's ironic that he talks about only dating hot, crazy girls and now he's with this Abigayl chick and she's boring. Like complete opposite.

@MyApocalypse_Lynn: @BlackWidow93 Yeah you've obviously never met her if you believe that. 

@RonnieRadke: @MyApocalypse_Lynn Thank you for standing up for Aby. I know she'd appreciate it. @BlackWidow93 Let me show you something. 

Pulling up one of the photos Becca took of Abigail while he was in Vegas, he put it with a picture he'd taken of their broken blow dryer and opened a new post tagging both girls in it. 

@RonnieRadke: Still think she's not hot? Because I beg to differ. And as far as crazy goes, she threw this at me one morning because I didn't give her enough time to get ready. So Aby definitely fits into both categories. The difference between her and the other girls I've dated is that she isn't selfish. She's amazing and I don't deserve her. 

@BlackWidow93: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have judged her without ever meeting her. 

An apology. That was new. Ronnie followed both girls before shutting his phone off. Jacky walked into the room a few seconds later in boxers and a long back hoodie that he realized was actually his.   
"Is it warm?" He asked through a yawn.   
Man he was sexy when he looked like that. Girls thought he looked good on stage. They'd probably faint if they saw him like this. Good thing they probably never would.   
"Yeah, I turned it up for you." He answered dumbly.   
Jacky cocked his head to the side, messy hair falling into his face. He bit his lip, his eyes traveling down his chest. "Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked.   
"I um." Dammit why couldn't he talk now? "You're wearing my clothes again. Thought I told you not to." He finished, wanting to high five himself. In the face. With a fucking chair.   
"Hmm. I don't remember you saying anything." J mused. He pulled the collar of the hoodie up until only his eyes were visible above the black material.   
"I did. I know I did."  
"Alright then if you have a problem then take your clothes back."  
His hands were honest to God shaking as he pulled his hoodie off over J's head. Man he was all out of whack. Those nightmares had really fucked with him. He just couldn't get the images out of his head this time.   
"Don't dwell on it. Whatever you're thinking about. Push it away. Stay here with me." Jacky said, wrapping his hands around the back of his neck forcing Ronnie to look at him.   
"I'm right here. Focus on me."   
"I'm trying."  
He let Jacky pull him down into a kiss. "Try harder." He whispered harshly against his lips, fingers tightening in his hair. The sharp pain shot straight down his spine causing him to involuntarily bite down on his lip. A low, guttural moan escaped Jacky's lips as the taste of blood coated his tongue. That probably should have been a turn off but hell if it didn't jack him higher.   
Before he could protest, Ronnie lifted him up to sit on the edge of the hot tub.   
"Up." He said, hooking his fingers in the top of his boxers and pulling them off. It took less than a second and he was back on him, kissing and biting along his neck, holding him off balance above the steaming water. 

Ronnie laid his head back on the edge of the hot tub, resting his arms along the sides. Jacky laid against his chest, face turned into his throat. His heart was beating so hard he couldn't tell if it was J's or his own. Hot tub sex? Check that one off the list. Or just move it to the top of the 'do it again' list.   
"Jacks? Hey buddy you okay?" He asked, running a hand through his hair.   
"Mhm." He whispered, lips pressing against the skin of his collarbone. "Sleepy."  
"You can't sleep in here though."  
"I can. You'll hold me up."   
That was true.   
"Jacky do you remember the first night we met?" He asked suddenly.   
"I was scared of you actually." He replied, sitting back up. J's hands skimmed along his sides under the swirling water and Ronnie couldn't help the shiver left in their wake. He felt like every nerve ending in his body was exposed. "Watching you on the computer and seeing pictures were nothing like finally seeing you in real life. But that's not a happy conversation. Let's not go there right now."   
"Why is it not happy? I mean it was weird at first yeah but it all worked out."  
Jacky shook his head. "Ronnie I almost went home. After our very first show? I was packed to go home." He said, eyes fixated on the water between him.   
Ronnie tipped his chin up with the tip of his finger. "You never said anything. Why did you want to leave?"   
"I was selfish and disappointed."  
"How so? Jacks just tell me."  
Jacky shifted on his lap so he could lay his head back down on shoulder. "It's just, I expected the man I saw on screen. So when we got to that first show and you bailed I was pissed. I'd given up everything to come here and play for you and you wouldn't even go on stage."  
That was true. Ronnie could understand his disappointment. Hell he'd been disappointed in himself too. They had booked a show at a very small local venue under a fake name. Max capacity like forty people. They were only set to play three songs. None of which ever made it to the album. Everything had been set up, band ready to play and he hadn't been able to step on that stage. He'd been terrified. And that's when Ronnie had realized his career was over. He was never going to be able to get up there again. Prison had sucked out his confidence. So they'd gone back to their house where they all were staying. Derek and Mika hadn't said a word. Ryan had told him the next one would be better. Jacky had hid in his room. Ronnie had sat at their tiny kitchen table and tried to man up. Instead he'd ended up crying like a pathetic child.   
That's when Jacky had come in. Ronnie had poured out everything to him. His fears, insecurities. J was the only one who knew the extent of what had happened in prison. He'd listened and talked to him until the sun came up. By the time the others started waking up Ronnie had booked another show. They were going to open for a band at the Hard Rock Cafe there on the strip. Jacky had given him that confidence back and that show ended up being one of the best in his entire life. But in that time between he hadn't even taken a second to think about Jacky to realize he hadn't been in the US more than a couple months. He hadn't considered how scared the kid must have been especially since he'd acted so strange right out of prison. But hearing that he had almost lost him for good made his heart jump into his throat.   
"The night you came in to talk to me...you were going to tell me you were leaving. Weren't you?"   
Jacky nodded. "I didn't think. I didn't know how hard acclimating to normal life would be for you. I didn't know about what you had been through. And after you told me...I felt so horrible. I never should have doubted you. It was just difficult to see someone I looked up to so much be so..."  
"Weak?"   
"Vulnerable. It scared me."   
Ronnie ran his hands around Jacky's back and hugged him hard. "You had every right to be scared and feel let down. But you came in that night and you listened. Jacky I don't think you understand." He said, pushing him back so he could look at him. "You saved me. YOU. I gave up. You are the reason I got back on stage. You're the reason I'm here."   
Jacky gave him a small smile. "I'm thankful I didn't go home." He whispered.  
"You and me both babe. Come on, I'm gonna take you back to bed."   
He didn't argue and let Ronnie help him out of the hot tub and get dried off.   
Abigayl was sitting up in bed when they got back to the bedroom.  
"Where were you guys?" She asked quietly.   
"Hot tub. Ronnie couldn't sleep." Jacky said, climbing into bed with her.   
Aby didn't stop him as J kissed her, pressing her back against the pillows. Ronnie watched him kiss and lick along her throat and down the v of the white T-shirt she now wore to bed.   
"Off." He said gruffly, pawing at the front of her shirt.   
Abigayl didn't try to fight him, just slipped the thin material over her head. Jacky was back on her in an instant lips trailing down her stomach, pausing to press a kiss over the baby.   
He really hated to interrupt but Aby should have some say in this and Ronnie knew she wouldn't say no to them.  
"Jacks. Stop for a minute." He said, leaning over the bed to put a hand gently on his shoulder.   
Jacky lifted his head and glared at him.   
"Aby said no sex until after the baby is born. She won't tell you no so I'm going to for her."   
He heard Aby's sigh of relief and Jacky rolled on to his back, throwing his arm over his eyes.   
"I knew that. I'm sorry Abigayl. I really am." He said quietly.   
She just smiled and laid down beside him. "It's okay baby. You just got wound up. No big deal. Um, maybe just once wouldn't hurt. I mean Dr. Lynn said I shouldn't do anything different than I normally would right now." Abigayl patted her stomach. "You just stay calm in there little one. Your daddy needs me, and honestly I need him too."   
Jacky's face lit up as she spoke. Although whether that was because she was giving in or because she'd just stated he was her baby's father too, Ronnie wasn't sure.   
"I'm gonna leave two alone for awhile then." He said, getting off the bed.   
"Oh no you don't." Aby said, grabbing at his hand. "You too. You got one chance. If you want to leave I won't stop you but I would like you to stay."  
Yeah right. Like he was going anywhere. 

 

 

Oh this was bad.  
Like shit was about to hit the fan bad.  
Jacky felt his heart drop into his stomach as he read the article on his phone screen. Kerrang had apparently got a tip about the arrest and ran with it. But they didn't seem to have any facts. They were insinuating that the whole thing blew over too quickly. They wrote that maybe Ronnie had paid his brother and sister to lie for him to keep himself out of prison. Jacky had seen him pay people off before but never for something like this. Surley he hadn't. Right?  
Jacky looked up as Abigayl stepped out of the bathroom, a dark red towel wrapped tightly around her, phone in hand, frown on her face.  
"Jacks are you reading this bullshit? What the fuck were they thinking posting this? Fuck them. This is insane." She said, pulling one of Ronnie's shirts on over her head.  
"Aby...they made some valid points."  
She stopped dead and turned towards him again. The look of disgust on her face made him want to recoil.  
"Are you fucking kidding me? How could you even say that? What the hell is wrong with you?"  
Jacky shrugged. "It would explain why he paid Tessa's bail. I mean it all happened so fast he wasn't even charged Aby. Don't you think that's a little suspicious?"  
She shook her head. "No becuase he wouldn't lie to us like that."  
How could she do that? Abigayl wasn't a stupid person. Why was she following so blindly? Then again this was the same girl who had lied to the hospital about how she broke her wrist too. Maybe she was scared.  
"Aby if this was someone else would you still be so sure? If it was anyone but Ronnie would you be questioning it?"  
Abigayl ungracefuuly sat down on the bed, head in her hands. "I don't know J. I just...I can't let myself believe this."  
"I know. Come on, let's go talk to him."

They foundRonnie in the living room area on one of the couches. He was talking to someone on the phone. Jacky waited and had to stop Aby from going over to him.  
"Yes, exactly. Thank you. Yeah, just send it to me. Okay. Yep. Bye." He finished, laying his phone on the coffee table.   
"Who was that?" Jacky asked.  
"Mike at AP. I wanted them to run what really happened after this shit Kerrang spewed."  
Jacky folded his arms over his chest. "Did you pay off my sister to keep your own ass out of jail Ronnie?"  
He would have liked to believe the look of shock on his boyfriend's face was genuine but for some reason he highly doubted it was. He knew how good of an actor Ronnie could be.  
"Jacky...I can't believe you would even ask me that. You're kidding right? You really think I'd do something like that?"  
"You have to admit, it's not really that far of a stretch. Wouldn't be the first person you've paid off."  
Ronnie frowned. "Okay yeah I have before but not for anything illegal. Not something this bad."  
Jacky scoffed. "The fact that you have a hierarchy of what you consider 'bad' and 'really bad' is not comforting."  
"Okay fine. Beyond that, do you really think I'd purposedly hurt your sister? I thought you believed me."  
"I thought I did. I thought to myself, 'no way, he'd never do something like that'. But then I remembered you already have. You sent Abigayl to the hospital on 'accident'. And I know what happened to Sally too." He choked out before he lost his nerve.  
Ronnie was silent, just staring back at him and for a moment Jacky understood why it was so easy for people to believe the worst of him. That ice cold facade was masking something dark.  
"You know what happened huh?" He said finally. "You don't know shit. And you clearly don't know me. I hurt Aby. I did that and I'm going to have to live with that guilt for the rest of my fucking life. I can handle a lot. Hell my armors got more cracks than the Mojave but I can take whatever's thrown at me. I can hold the world on my shoulders but I can't take this. You of all people standing here accusing me of lying to you. I've never lied to you J. Ever." He finished and got up. "I'll be back. I can't be here with you right now."  
"Wait!" Aby said, moving to grab his hand before he could make it out of the room. "You will come back, right?"  
Ronnie smiled and kissed her forehead but didn't answer. Jacky had a feeling that was a no. Abigayl must have thought otherwise since she let him go.  
He wasn't gone two minutes before Aby stalked off into the bedrooms.   
"He'll be back." Jacky tried to reasure her.  
The sting that spread across his face surprised him more than pained him when Abigayl's hand connected with his cheek. There was fire in her eyes as she held her hand against her stomach.  
"You're full of shit Jacky. You know damn well he's not coming back and that's on you! It's your fucking fault!" She said, pushing hard against his chest. "What the hell were you thinking bringing Sally up? If you know what happened then you know that was a low fucking blow."   
"He punched her Aby! Straight up punched her. You don't think that's wrong?"  
Abigayl's head snapped back on her spine. "Of course it's wrong but I saw the x-rays J. She cracked his cheekbone and knocked two teeth out with a vase. I'd have punched her too. And he didn't mean to hurt me. I know that sounds cliche but he didn't."  
"She hit him first...?"  
"You didn't even know?" She yelled, throwing her hands up in the air. "Fucking idiot!"  
When she turned around again, Abigayl was calm. No expression on her face. "I want you to leave."  
"Abigayl you don't mean-"  
"Yes, Jacky I do." She said, gathering up her things into her suitcase. "I don't care where you go. I don't know what Ronnie will want you to do band wise, I don't know if he'll even go back himself."  
This was not happening. She couldn't be serious. Could she?  
"Please. Just go."  
Jacky silently grabbed his bag and tried to think of something to her. Nothing was going to help right now. Abigayl wouldn't even look at him as he left the bedroom then the suite. This was temporary. She would calm down when Ronnie came back and then ask him to come back too.

 

What the hell was she supposed to do now?  
Abigayl dropped her bags on the couch and sat down next to them. Deciding to take a chance she pulled out her phone and opened a new text to Ronnie. 

A: I kicked Jacky out. Told him not to come back.  
R: Good. You should have gone with him.

Aby felt tears burning her eyes and throat as she read over the text again and again until another popped up.

R: You're the only one who really knows what happened with Sally, yet you just stood there. You stood there and let him accuse me of hurting you on purpose. You let him say I assulted his sister and paid her off. Aby you know how hard it is for me to trust people and for you to stand there and say NOTHING hurts worse than what Jacky did. I love you two more than anything but the shrink was right. You and Jacky are my greatest strength and my biggest weakness. You guys have the power to hurt me worse than anyone and you just abused that power. I did NOT attack Tessa, nor did I pay her off. That's the truth. I'm sorry that you guys can't believe that. But I can't let you hurt me anymore.

Abigayl squeezed the phone in her hand until it went numb.  
Hours went by as she sat there staring at the text on the screen. Ronnie was right. She should have said something. In no way did she believe anything Kerrang had posted and she should have stood up and said something. God, she'd give anything to have him walk through that door. But he wasn't going to. She sighed as her phone buzzed. Just a tweet.

@CamAfuckingA: Bittersweet going home this time around.

@AbigaylTY: @CamAfuckingA text me?

C: You in LA? Come to Phoenix. Ben's here being a cunt but he's about to leave.  
A: What happened? I'm in London but coming... Well, I don't know where I'm going. Can I crash at your place?  
C: Sounds like we could both use the R&R. Get your ass here.

Decision made. Now to get a flight.

 

August 9th  
Phoenix, Arizona

"So you just got home from Warped then?" Abigayl asked as Cam helped her carry her bags into the spare bedroom of his house.  
"Just got home when I text you yesterday." He answered.  
"I hate to ask but where is Kia? There's no sign of her here at all."   
Cam shrugged. "She moved back to England. I figure she thought if she moved in with me I'd be home more. That's not how it works."  
Abigayl's heart broke for him. She knew how much Cameron had cared about her.  
"I'm so sorry Cam. Seriously, I love Kia. I understand it's hard when you never see each other though."  
He nodded and pretend punched her shoulder. "Yeah, anyway, what's up with you? Why are you here instead of with Ronnie and Jacky?"  
"We broke up. All went our separate ways. J's in Portsmouth. I have no idea where Ronnie went, and I'm here. Going to search for an apartment tomorrow. Probably in LA. Just didn't want to go home tonight." She finished as they walked out into the living area, a room on the corner of the house with windows living the walls. It was very bright, very spacey, and very sterile. That was Cam though. This would be 'homey' to him. That was something they agreed on.  
"Abigayl...I don't know what to say. Sit down. Tell me everything that happened."

Once it was all out on the table, figuritively of course, Abigayl laid back against the arm of the couch, reting her hand over Adrian.   
"That's insane. Seriously Beauty, your life is like a damn soap opera. And I thought Kia and I had problems. So what do you want to do now?" Cam asked, moving her legs on to his lap so he could get close enough to lay his hand on her stomach. He had been curiously fascinated by Mycah moving around too.   
"I don't really know. Like I said, first things first I need to find an apartment. One big enough for me and the baby shouldn't be too hard to find."  
Cam smiled at that. "I know of a place where a spare room just opened up and they're in need of a roommate. It's plenty big enough and you'll have the place to yourself most of the time."  
Abigayl rolled her eyes at him. "Cam, no. You're my best friend but I don't think you want your ex girlfriend and her baby living with you."  
"Maybe I do? You could at least give it a chance. Stay here a while and see what happens."  
"Won't it put a damper on your extra curricular activites when you bring a girl home and I'm here?"  
Cameron pulled a nasty face and stuck his tongue out at her. "If she doesn't deal with my best friend, I don't deal with her. Come on Aby, it'll be like an extended sleep over."  
"Fine! Fine, I'll stay. When do you leave for tour again?"  
He got quiet then, instantly sobering up. "Beginning of the year. We're back on tour with Falling in Reverse. Some kind of circus thing. I don't know. It's just us and them though so I'm not sure what they're planning. It's going to be weird."  
"Why?" She asked, trying to sit up straighter.  
"Because we've got a new vocalist. Ben's had this set up for awhile I guess so there wouldn't be a huge gap when Danny quit. We all knew that was coming.  
Abigayl couldn't disagree. Once Harlot had taken off she figured it wouldn't be long before Danny ditched Asking. Not that knowing made it hurt any less.  
"Cam, I'm sorry. I know that couldn't have been easy."  
He just shrugged. "Change happens. I like the new guy. He already fits in. You'll like him."  
Abigayl offered him a smile. "I'm sure I will."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 2.27

San Diego, California  
January 28th

 

Where the hell had they gone with her son?  
Abigayl walked through yet another hallway in a venue she did not know only to find it empty. Somewhere in this mess James and Cameron had Matty and it was really starting to worry her. Not that she didn't trust them completely, she would just feel better knowing where he was.  
"Ooh! Finally another girl in this place."  
Aby turned around at the sound of a voice coming from behind her. She turned to see a woman in an off the shoulder Falling in Reverse sweatshirt cut to show her stomach and short blue jean shorts matched with black ankle boots with wedge heels. She had golden bronze skin and big brown eyes. Her hair was shaved on the sides and long on top. Blond that only enhanced her tan skin. Honestly she was the most beautiful woman Abigayl had ever seen.   
"You're so tiny and cute! Where did you get those heels? Oh my bad, I'm Jenna by the way." She said, holding out her hand.  
Abigayl tentively shook her hand. "I um, in New York. I bought them in New York. I'm Ty. Are you here for the show?"  
Jenna smiled, all perfect white teeth. Man, she made Aby feel like a troll.   
"I am. My boyfriend's here...somewhere. Got kind of lost in all these hallways!"  
Abigayl grinned back at her. "I'm currently lost too. You haven't seen two guys running around with an infant have you?"  
"Uh, no. I think I'd remember that. Mind if I join your hunt?"  
Okay so she really liked Jenna.  
"Sure! Two of the boys from Asking ran off with my son." She said as Jenna linked their arms together and they started down the hallway.   
"Aww, you have a little chicken then? I wish I had the time and patience for a baby. My boyfriend loves kids. But that probably isn't in the cards for us."  
"Oh...I'm sorry to hear that. You'd make a gorgeous baby." She said, hoping to lighten the mood again.  
"You're too sweet Ty. I'm gonna keep you. So tell me about your son. How old is he? What's his name?"  
"Matthew. Matty is his name. He was born December 16th. So just over a month old." She answered.   
"Oh, so a tiny baby. I'm nosey. Is one of the Asking guys the father then?"  
"Um, no. The father, he uh, he decided to leave us in August. He's a good man, I'm just not a very good girlfriend. Cameron is one of my best friends. He's kind of stepped up and helped me."  
"That's horrible though to leave a woman when she's pregnant. I'm sorry he did that to you. But your friend sounds like a good guy too. Are you two together now or?" Jenna asked as they walked by the green rooms.  
"I guess we kind of are. He hasn't been out with any other girls since I moved in anyways. He and I dated a long time ago so I guess we just fell back into it and he loves Matty so I'll keep him." She joked.  
"Aww that's so adorable! I can't wait to meet him and that little baby."  
"Ty! Stop a sec." She heard James call from behind them.  
"What's up?"  
"Cam took Matty back to the bus. He was getting fussy so he gave him to Corey to lay him down for a nap." He answered, giving Jenna a smile but surprisingly not a flirty one. After all he was off the market and Chris didn't share.   
"Oh um, Jenna this is James, Asking's drummer. James, my new friend Jenna. Well he's in good hands with Corey. That's why I hired her. But I think Jenna wanted to meet him so can you tell him to bring him back in just for a couple minutes?" She asked.  
James rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll be your bitch boy."  
"Thank you babe."

"Hey baby hold up!" Jenna shouted, pulling away from her as they entered the giant room behind the stage.   
Aby busied herself by checking her phone. She had a text from Corey. 

C: I really need to lay Matty down and Cam just took him again. 

A: I know. It's okay he's bringing him to me. I'll bring him back in a few minutes. 

"Here she is. This is my new friend Ty."  
Abigayl looked up as Jenna came back and just about bit her own tongue off.   
The only saving grace was that Ronnie looked just as terrified to see her. He looked so good though. His hair had grown a bit and he was wearing black jeans and a long black T-shirt that was covered in little cuts. He looked damn near edible and Abigayl wanted to take a bite.   
"Ty this is my boyfriend, Ronnie."  
Abigayl shook his hand and tried to ignore the images of those rough hands all over her body that were flashing through her head.   
"Ty huh? You look more like an Aby to me." He teased, twisting a piece of her long, light blue hair around his finger.   
Abigayl pushed his hand away and smiled. "Maybe in a past life. Jenna, it was nice to meet you but I have to go-"  
"And here he is!" Cameron said as he joined them. Matty was barely awake, his tiny head resting on Cam's shoulder.   
She watched as the color drained from Ronnie's face.   
"Oh my god he's so small!" Jenna squealed as she placed a gentle hand on Matty's back. "Ty he's gorgeous. Whoever that asshole was who left you doesn't know what he's missing. Could I hold him, just for a second?"  
Aby couldn't help but smile as Cam carefully laid her son in Jenna's arms and she cooed over him. Ronnie looked like he was about to pass out.  
"Baby look at him. Isn't he amazing?"   
"Yeah." He choked. "Yeah, he is. Sorry sweetie I gotta go for sound check."  
"Okay, I'm gonna hang with Ty for awhile if that's okay with you." Jenna asked, her eyes still on Matty.   
"Sure. Whatever you want baby. Uh Ty. Nice to meet you." He said, turning away as fast as he could.   
"You too!" She called after him and had to stop herself from giggling.   
"I'm going to take Matty back out to the bus for his nap. You're welcome to come with me. You can even carry him." She teased.  
Jenna just grinned at her. "Sounds perfect."

This was good.   
Despite the fact that she was hanging out with Ronnie's new girlfriend she was actually enjoying herself. It wasn't Jenna's fault. And she was pretty awesome.   
"Hey, do you mind if I run inside for a moment?" She asked.   
Neither Jenna nor Becca, who were focused on some bridal reality show even looked at her. Just waved her off.   
Abigayl shook her head and left the bus. Matty had fallen asleep within minutes. He was such a wonderful baby. The month they'd had him at home had been a blessing really. Sure she and Cam took turns waking up with him when he did cry but overall Aby considered them lucky. Then they'd hired Corey to help out while Cameron was on tour, and so far so good.  
She wasn't going to pretend that seeing Ronnie again after so many months didn't hurt like hell but he had moved on and she could too.  
Walking back into the main back room, Abigayl looked around for Cameron but came up empty handed. Hoping she chose the right hallway, Aby headed for the green rooms. Apparently she had no sense of direction what so ever. Cursing herself she turned another corner only to smack straight into a brick wall otherwise known as Radke.  
"Shit. Sorry Aby. Just about turned you into a pancake." He said, catching her before she could fall on her ass.  
Abigayl yanked her arm away from him. "I'm fine. And it's Ty now. Just FYI."  
Ronnie crossed his arms over his chest. "FYI, I don't care. You're Abigayl to me."  
She just scoffed. "I am nothing to you. Haven't been for awhile now or did you forget leaving me in that hotel? You said you'd come back."  
"Don't be so melodramatic. It's not like you're innocent in the whole thing. I still can't even look at Jacky without being angry."  
That got her attention.  
"Jacks is here? He's still in the band?"  
Ronnie frowned. "Of course he is. Can't afford to lose him. He moved back to Vegas though. Didn't want him in my house. Looks like you're doing okay too. Cam treating you okay?"  
"Better than you ever did. I never would have expected it but he's become a very good father for Matty-"  
"He is NOT his father!" Ronnie snapped, his jaw clenched.  
Abigayl stood her ground and raised her chin in defiance. "He's been more of one than you have!"  
That took the wind out of his sails.   
"You're right." He said, rubbing his hands over his face. "I have no right to be angry, and I have no right to him."  
"You got that part right."  
"Could you bring him back in after the show? Right before bus call? Please. Just once. I just want to see him once."  
Abigayl bit down on her lip. One time couldn't hurt right? Matty was too young. He wouldn't remember it anyway.  
"If I bring him in, you promise you'll never ask again?"  
He nodded. "I promise. I'm not here to make things anymore difficult for either of you."  
"Why do I doubt that? Just text me when you come back in." She said, turning away from him.   
This was probably the worst decision she could possibly be making.

Through the camera's window, Aby caught Jacky's expression the second he saw her and was half worried when he almost fell backwards off the riser.  
Abigayl tried to tell herself the emotion turning her chest into a vice grip was residual. A result of a relationship ending too soon with no grieving period. Just pushing through. But the more she said it to herself the more she knew it was a lie. Sure, she loved Cam but it was nothing compared to how she felt about the men on stage in front of her. She had to let go.  
When she joined Jenna and Becca on the side of the stage, she actually felt guilty. Ronnie obviously hadn't told her anything and Jenna deserved to know what was going on. Maybe tomorrow they could grab lunch in LA and talk.

 

R: Taking a shower. 5 minutes.

Abigayl sighed. She really wasn't looking forward to this. With bus call being so late most everyone had gone out. Corey, their thirty-seven year old nanny, was playing a card game with Denis, Asking's new singer. Cam had been right. She really did like him. It was only their first show and it felt like the band had been playing together forever.  
Matty yawned as she picked him up from the little makeshift bassinet they had made in her bunk. Big brown eyes that were far too familiar stared up at her and Aby smiled down at him.  
"I know it's late little one but there's someone here that really wants to meet you."  
Out in the front room she paused just inside the door.  
"Hey Denis? I'm going back into the venue for a bit."  
"I'll let Cameron know." He answered with a smile. He was unbelievably adorable.  
The venue was spooky when it was dark and empty. Taking the stairs she went down to where she'd seen the showers earlier. Sure enough water was still running. Five minutes her ass.  
She met Jacky at the bottom of the stairs and just about tripped.   
"What are you doing in here?" She asked quietly.   
Jacky smiled and touched Matty's arm. "Ronnie told me you were bringing him in. I just wanted to see him. Please don't make me leave again."  
Abigayl would have told him to go. But she'd already done that once hadn't she? Looking into those baby blue eyes as blond again hair fell over them her heart skipped a beat.   
"I won't. You can see him with Ronnie. But this is a one time thing J, just like I told him."  
"I know. I-"  
Jacky was cut off by the sound of something slamming against a wall somewhere in the showers.   
"Take him for just a minute?"  
Jacky nodded and carefully took Matty from her arms. He didn't cry. Didn't even fuss.   
Aby walked into the showers straight to the one the door had been swung shut. "Ronnie? Hey you okay?" She asked over the sound of running water.   
"Yeah. Just great."  
Knowing damn well it was a bad idea, yet not being able to stop herself, Aby pulled the door open just enough to squeeze inside. He had his right hand pressed against his stomach covered with the left. Blood mixed with water and ran down his skin.   
"Oh fuck. Let me see." She said, grabbing hold of his wrist and turning the water off.   
"I'm fine." He argued.   
"Yeah right."   
He'd split the skin on his knuckles and one was already swelling up and turning purple. Aby had no doubts that he'd broke a finger but she did doubt he'd go to a hospital for it.   
"You shouldn't even be in here. You're gonna be soaked. Where is your son?"  
Abigayl scoffed. "He's yours too you know. Jacky has him just outside. Come on we need to get this patched up and set. What did that wall ever do to you? Do you still have that med kit in your gym bag?"  
Ronnie nodded. "Yes, I kept it like you said to. I was just...pissed. I'll I've been able to think about all day is you. It's driving me crazy." He finished, running a busted up finger down her jawline.  
Abigayl didn't even bother telling him to stop or pushing him away as he pressed her back into the damp tile wall and tugged on her bottom lip. It was wrong but she wanted this. More than anything.  
As he kissed her, Aby let her hands wander up his arms then down his sides to rest on his hips. God she was on fire. He turned her head, licking and biting along her neck as his knee separated her legs, dress parting like a miracle.  
"Up. Lift me up." She said, gripping his shoulders.  
Her hand slipped off slick skin and she started giggling in spite of herself. Then she couldn't stop. What the hell was wrong with her?   
As tears of laughter started blurring her vision, Aby looked up and he was just smiling at her.   
"I'm sorry, I don't know what that was." She said, wiping at her eyes.   
"I do." He replied, leaning down to kiss her much more gently this time. "I missed you too Aby. I missed you so much."  
"Let's get you cleaned up." She said, pulling him out of the shower. "Here."   
He took the towel she pulled out of his bag and wrapped it around his waist after drying his hair.   
Abigayl rummaged around in his bag until she found the little first aid box in the bottom. "Come here." She said, hopping up to sit on the counter.   
Ronnie winced but didn't whine as she placed a wooden stick along his third finger then wrapped it with tape.   
"You really should go have this set by a doctor." Aby said as she cleaned the blood off his knuckles.  
"I'll be fine."  
She sprayed an antiseptic on it before covering it in gauze, taping it down and wrapping the rest of his hand to hold it all in place. How many times had she done this, she thought as she worked. The whole time he kept running his fingers through the ends of her hair.   
"You're the only one who knows me,   
Love it when you hold me,   
Never find a love like this."   
She sang under her breath. Where the hell had that come from? Aby had always loved that song and Ronnie had whined everytime she'd tried to play it in the house.   
"Now I'll never be lonely,   
Look at what you've shown me,   
Never found a love like this."  
He whispered against her ear, sending shivers down her spine. He actually knew the words?   
"I'm so glad you found me,   
Wrap you all around me,   
Never find a love like this."   
She whispered, pulling him down to kiss her again. Aby knew this was one moment. She'd go back to Asking's bus and tomorrow this would be a memory. Ronnie would go back to Jenna and she would go back to Phoenix. That was life. So why did it hurt so fucking bad?  
"Uh, you're all patched up. Stop taking your anger out on walls. Okay?"  
Ronnie smiled and reached around her to grab clothes out of his bag. "Deal. I'm gonna get dressed. I'll meet you out there with Jacky." He said but his voice was strained, like that wasn't what he wanted to say. 

Abigayl did as she was told, though everything in her gut told her not to leave.   
Jacky was sitting on the bottom step, Matty cradled in his arms.   
"I'm sorry. He fell asleep." Jacky said, like he was waiting for her to yell at him.   
"It's alright J. He's a newborn. He sleeps a lot. Thank you for taking him."  
Jacky smiled but it was more at Matty than herself. "I don't want to let him go." He said quietly.   
Funny, she didn't want him to have to.  
Ronnie rested his hand on her back for just a moment before passing her to sit down next to Jacky. Aby took a few steps away from them as he took his son and held him for the first time. Jacky stayed close. Matty looked so much smaller in their hands.   
She turned away as tears slid down her cheeks. This was not supposed to happen here. Not in some venue's dark stairwell. This was not where they should have met their son. It should have happened at the hospital when he was born. This was wrong and it was breaking her heart.   
"Aby? Baby don't cry. Come here."   
She went willingly and let Ronnie pull her down beside him.   
"When was he born?" Jacky asked.   
"December 16th. The day after Mycah. It was really quick. I got to the hospital and he was born less than twenty minutes later."  
Ronnie raised his hand like he wanted to touch the baby's fingers then remembered his own were all bandaged up and dropped it. "What about you? Are you okay?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine. Luna and Danny were in the room with me. And James and Cam stayed with me that night. I was never alone but...?  
"But what?"  
She just sighed. No point in lying. "It just felt like a dream without the two of you there. But that's okay, we've all moved on right? That's just the past."  
Ronnie shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so. Sure doesn't feel like the past though. Especially not sitting here right now."  
"I agree. This right now feels like a dream." Jacky said, and she watched as he turned away for a moment.   
They were both right. This felt wrong. Like they were so close yet so far away from one another.   
"Abigayl will-"  
"Yes." She answered, knowing exactly what he was going to ask. "I'll bring him to the house on our day off, but only on one condition."  
"Anything."  
"You have to tell Jenna. She deserves to know what's going on. If you don't tell her, I'm going to."  
He nodded, leaning down to kiss Matty's forehead. "Deal. I'll tell her in the morning."  
"Okay." Was all she said.   
Carefully Ronnie shifted their son to lay the other direction in his arms and his other hand wrapped around the back of her neck, pulling her forward until he could kiss her forehead. Aby let him, then leaned her head against his shoulder. She felt Jacky's fingers tangle in her hair as he moved closer too. Why couldn't this be real? Why couldn't the world just leave them alone and let them be happy?


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 2.28

Los Angeles, California   
January 29th

"Baby! Ronnie wake up!"  
His heart was going to explode.   
Ronnie sat upright and laid his elbows on the mattress between his knees, taking shallow breaths trying to clear his head and wake up. Jenna looked honest to god scared.   
"Have you had nightmares like that before? Who's Mycah? You kept asking where he was." She asked, her hand running up and down his back.   
Yeah, he was so not having that conversation with her.   
Ronnie just nodded. "I've had problems with them my whole life. Nothing new. I don't know who Mycah is though." He answered even though the lie broke his heart. "I guess dating me ain't all it's cracked up to be huh?"  
Jenna gave him a sympathetic smile, kindness flooding those deep brown eyes. "Everyone has a past, a story. Fame doesn't make a person whole again. Money and shiny toys don't erase all the bad things in life. You're human. I didn't sign on for perfection. That would Just be boring."  
"You're one hell of a woman, you know that?"  
She laughed. "I try. Are you going to be okay though?"  
"I think so. I need to go talk to Jacky." He replied like it was the moat obvious solution.   
Jenna looked confused. "To Jacky? I wasn't aware you two ever spoke?"  
"I know. Just...trust me. Okay?"  
"Alright." She said with a shrug. "Go talk to him then. I know he and Derek went into the venue already. I think he was doing a few lessons today."  
"Thank you. I'll come find you when I'm done." He said before leaving the bus. 

He waited in the hallway until the two kids J was teaching left before ducking inside and locking the door behind himself.   
"Jacky? Can I talk to you for a minute?"  
"Do you remember how?" He replied as he laid his guitar back in the soft lining of its case   
"I woke up with nightmares again. I can't remember any of it but Jenna said I was talking about trying to find Mycah."  
That got his attention.   
"Do you think it's because of Matty?"  
He nodded. "It has to be. I'm going to keep my promise. I'm going to tell Jenna about Matty and how I feel towards Aby. Hell I just about cheated on her last night J. Didn't even think twice about it because it was Aby and that's all I could focus on. I care about Jenna but it amounts to nothing when Abigayl's around. I should have never left her."  
Jacky scoffed. "Why are you even talking to me about this? You and I are nothing. Remember? Never were. That's what you told me. And even if you confess everything to Jenna it doesn't mean Abigayl will even want you back. She may have got caught up in that moment with you last night but she only agreed to let you see your son. She seems happy with Cameron. Ever think maybe neither of us care anymore Ronnie?"  
Jacky grabbed his guitar case and made for the door. He was out in the hallway before Ronnie's brain came back online and he went after him.   
"I think that's bullshit J. Even if she doesn't, I can't keep lying. I screwed up worse than both of you combined. I know that. I have to deal with that. What I can't deal with is you saying you don't want me anymore. Because I know I never stopped wanting you. Even when I was pissed and walked out I wanted to come right back but I was too prideful to do it. So hate me all you want Jacks but I still love you."  
His back hit the wall so fast he didn't even realize Jacky had moved but the forearm pressed against his windpipe told him it was real and Jacky was pissed.   
"Don't you say that. You don't get to say that to me! You left us. Can you really blame me for what I did? After everything I've watched you do? Your hands aren't exactly clean. I was thinking of my family Ronnie and you would have done the same thing."  
His throat burned as he tried to take a breath to answer but Jacky let up just a little.   
"You're right. I shouldn't have left you. I care about my family more than anything but dammit J I thought I was your family too."  
Jacky dropped his arm and his eyes closed. "You are my family." He said then fell silent. It was a painstakingly long time before he spoke again. "I guess I still love you too."   
"You guess?" He teased a little, leaning down to see just how far J would let him go right now.   
When he wasn't pushed away, he nuzzled into the side of his throat just breathing him in like he hadn't been able to take a real breath until now. Jacky quickly pulled the zipper of his jacket open and Ronnie just about came unglued as those rough fingers grazed over his skin.   
"I didn't even have time to be mad. You're such an asshole you couldn't even give me that." Jacky whispered into his hair.   
"I'm sorry Jacks. I'm really, really-"  
"Just shut up and fucking kiss me."  
He didn't have a choice as Jacky's lips brushed over his. God he was starved for this. J's nails bit into the back of his neck as he pulled him closer but Ronnie didn't care, barely even noticed.   
"Is the green room downstairs open?" Jacky asked as they pulled apart just to breathe.   
"I don't know, but I can't go down there with you. Not until I talk to Jenna."  
Jacky turned his head, chewing on one of his snakebites. Ronnie watched the ends of his blond hair brush against his jawline and had to stop himself from following with his tongue.   
"We shouldn't have done this." He said finally.   
"No, probably not but I'm not saying sorry." He answered, giving in and pushing his hair back to nip at his skin. Jacky melted back into him and Ronnie sent up a silent thanks.   
"We'll, this certainly explains a lot."  
Ronnie jumped at the sound of Jenna's voice. She stood a little ways down the hall from them but surprisingly she didn't look angry.   
"Jenna, I-"  
She held her hand up to hault whatever stupid thing that was about to come out of his mouth.   
"Don't apologize. When you two are done with whatever you're doing come find me. We should probably talk." She said and it seemed like she was trying not to laugh as she turned to head back around the corner.   
"You should go talk to her." Jacky said, leaning his forehead against his shoulder.   
"Probably. But I'd rather stay here with you."  
Jacky shook his head and zipped his jacket back up.   
"Where does this leave us though J? I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Do you- Would you ever want me back?" He asked, looking anywhere else but into those blue eyes.   
"You know I would. Even though I'm angry at you I still love you. I always will. But you have to tell Jenna everything. Even about Aby."  
Ronnie nodded. "I will. I'll come find you when I'm done."  
"Alright. You might want to actually put real clothes on too before you come back in." He teased.   
"I'll put real clothes on if you let me take yours off."  
Jacky rolled his eyes and kissed him one last time. "You could at least take me to dinner first. Now go on. Get it done."  
As he turned away, Ronnie grabbed his arm. "Hey, I'm kidding. I kinda want this to be a fresh start if we're going to do this. With all of us. We'll just...take it slow?"  
That earned him one of those smiles that could light up his entire world.   
"I'm down for that. I think we could all use a fresh start."

He found Jenna in the bedroom in the back of their bus, packing up her suitcase. Despite everything Ronnie didn't really want her to leave.   
"Why do you look so unhappy?" She asked, pulling a pair of shoes out of the closet.   
"Should I look happy? Jenna, I'm sorry."  
She stood back up, putting her hands on her hips. "Yes, Ronnie you should be happy. I am. Let me tell you something. Sit down."  
He did as he was told and she sat down with him, pulling her legs up under her. Just like Aby always did. They were so much alike weren't they?   
"Look. I didn't get into this relationship thinking it would last forever. I don't really believe in that kind of thing, but after seeing the way you and Jacky were looking at each other earlier...I'm starting to rethink it. I've never seen two people look at one another like that. That's love. Real love. I'm thankful for the time I've spent with you. You've become one of my best friends but I swear if you don't go after him I will cut you."  
Ronnie couldn't help but laugh. She probably wasn't kidding. "I'm sorry that you and me couldn't be that."  
She shrugged. "It's okay. I knew a part of you was missing from the start. Now I just know where it is."  
"I love you Jenna."  
"I love you too." She replied, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "And I'm not going anywhere. Thought I'd steal a bunk for the rest of the tour. Plus, I really like that Ty girl. Hoping to hang out with her more."  
"There's something you should know about Ty."  
Jenna scoffed. "What? You gonna tell me something crazy like her real name is Abigayl and you guys used to date and you freaked out the second you saw Matty because that was the first time you'd seen your son since he was born?"  
"How did you know?"  
"I'm not as unobservant as you think sweetie. He's beautiful by the way. Looks like you too. To be honest though when I said her ex was an asshole I didn't know at the time. So sorry bout that."  
Ronnie shook his head. "Nah, I deserve that. I was an asshole. A stupid one at that."  
Jenna slid her hand into his and squeezed it tight. "I hope she forgives you and you get your family back. Now get out of here so I can move in peace." She ordered, pointing to the door. 

Jacky was back in the venue, sitting on the edge of the stage with Denis. Why the two of them had become so close so fast Ronnie didn't really understand. I mean it was hard not to like Denis but this was Jacky. He didn't trust anyone that quickly.   
"Hey, you're back already?" Jacky asked.   
"Yeah, that went surprisingly well. What are you two doing out here?"  
They just grinned at each other which made him uneasy.   
"Plotting." Jacky answered. "Remember when Danny sang the Guillotine with you?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I think Denis should sing with you. It would be awesome. You guys would dominate that stage."  
"Like tonight?"  
"No!" Denis said, putting his hands up in front of him. "Like at the end of the tour or something, but if you don't want me to that's fine. No big deal."  
Ronnie thought about it for a moment. He wasn't really good at sharing his stage. He'd found that out with Craig. Danny had been better but he still didn't care for it. But this was Jacky asking, he had an even harder time telling him not than he did sharing the spotlight.   
"Alright. Come to sound check later and we'll see what we can figure out."  
Jacky looked ecstatic and that was all the reassurance he needed.   
"So I have to ask, because Jacky told me you guys weren't talking, does this mean you're back together or?" Denis asked as he slid off the stage.   
He looked up at Jacky simply because he wanted to know the answer too.   
"Yeah, we are." Jacky said easily, rolling his eyes at him.   
"What about Abigayl?"  
Ronnie shrugged. "I don't know. Her and Cam seem to be doing pretty good."  
"Nuh uh. Nope." Denis said, shaking his head. "They're not a couple. Not really. They care and they're friends but that's it. Cammy loves that baby though. We all do. So you can't just take her away. I know the guys would be upset."  
"I've never kept Abigayl away from them. We're family. It's not like she's just going to disappear." He replied.   
"Then I say go for it. Cam's not going to put up a fight. I guarantee it. I'll see you guys in a few hours." He said as his phone went off in his pocket.   
"So? What are you going to do?" Jacky asked when they were alone again.   
Ronnie leaned back against the stage beside where he was sitting. "I guess I'm gonna go see if Aby wants to laugh in my face. I don't know. I believe Denis but I have a bad feeling about this."  
"The least you can do is try. When she slaps you, come back and we'll go for ice cream."  
"You and Danny. Always offering ice cream I never actually get."

 

"What are you drawing?"  
Abigayl looked over the top of her notebook where it was rested on her knees once again. Ben was laying on the couch opposite her, Matty sleeping quietly on his chest. She hadn't realized be was awake. The night had been rough for the entire bus so she wasn't surprised when most everyone had fallen back asleep.   
"You actually."  
Ben laughed and closed his eyes again. "Make sure you get my good side."  
"You'd have to have a good side first. She muttered under her breath.   
"I heard that."  
"You and Sammy ever think about have a kid Ben?"  
He scoffed at that. "Yeah right Beauty. Could you imagine me as a dad? That's laughable."  
Abigayl smiled to herself. She'd watched him with Matty. If the time ever came he's make a good father whether he believed it or not.   
Before she could get much further on the drawing someone knocked on the bus door. Hearing Ben's soft snores she figured she was now the only one awake to answer it.   
Boy how she wished she hadn't.   
Ronnie smiled up at her as the door opened but it quickly faded.   
"What do you want? The guys are all asleep. You'll have to come back-"  
"No, I'm here to talk to you."  
Aby frowned at him. "Why? I told you I'd bring Matty to the house tomorrow. There's nothing else for you and I to talk about."  
"But what about last night? You don't think we should talk about that?"  
She shook her head. "No, because what happened, or almost happened as it were, was a mistake. I let emotion control logic. Residual emotion. I loved you and I guess I wanted to pretend I still did. There ya go. Nothing else to talk about." She said, moving to open the door behind her.   
"I wanted to apologize."  
Abigayl stopped with her hand on the doorhandle. "I've already forgiven you. But saying you're sorry doesn't mean we just go back to how we were before Ronnie. I have more to think about than myself now and the relationship we had is not a situation I want to raise my child in. I'm sorry. You and I are done. We can discuss some kind of visitation schedule if you want to continue seeing Matty. But other than that we have nothing to talk about."  
"You mean like a custody agreement?"  
Abigayl shook her head as anger swirled in those dark brown eyes. "No. You gave up any chance at custody when you walked out on me. I meant exactly what I said. Visitation. Once a week is my offer."  
"You've got to be fucking kidding me. Once a week? You live in fucking Arizona!" He said, banging his fist against the side of the bus.   
Aby shrugged even though she felt like crying. "Then we can Skype or something. I'm sorry but I'm not giving on this."  
"What about Jacky?"  
"What about him? Matty isn't his kid. He has no reason to come see him. Ronnie, really, I think you should go."  
He didn't say anything but Aby could tell he was grinding his teeth. The anger rolling off him was a tangible slap in the face. And as he walked off all she wanted to do was call him back and apologize over and over. But she couldn't. This was the right thing to do. She had to be cold so he understood just how serious she was. She refused to raise her son in the environment they had lived in. Too much fighting. Cam had been right. She was tired of living in a soap opera.   
Taking a deep breath she opened the door and stepped back into the bus. Denis was sat in the drivers seat pretending to read something on his phone.   
"You were eavesdropping?"  
"I was. I feel a little responsible for what just happened but damn I didn't know you'd be so harsh." He said turning in the chair to face her.   
"You feel responsible? Why?"  
"Because I'm the one that told Ronnie he should come talk to you. I didn't think he'd get rejected like that. And what you said about Jacky...Abigayl that was flat out bitchy."  
Rather ungracefully, Aby sat down on the passenger seat. "I know. But I had to be. If I hadn't been so straight forward he would have kept trying. I did the right thing."  
"Did you?" Denis asked, dark honey brown eyes narrowing on her. "Aby, we haven't known each other very long but I consider you a good friend."  
Abigayl nodded. "I feel that way too."  
"Good. Then know that it is as a friend that I'm saying you are being a total cunt."  
Abigayl all but jumped to her feet, fists balled at her sides. "Excuse me? What the fuck Denis? Seriously?!"  
"Sit your bony ass back down. Aby you told me about Ronnie's ex using her baby to manipulate him. Well, you're ten times worse. You're using his son to punish him for leaving you. Tell me I'm wrong!"  
Abigayl stayed quiet as she glared at him.   
"That's what I thought. If you truly believe being with him was bad for your kid, you wouldn't have gotten pregnant with him in the first place. Don't make Matty grow up without his dad just because you haven't dealt with the anger you felt when he left."  
They were silent for a long time.   
Aby rubbed her hands over her face and felt the tears she hadn't been able to stop.   
"You're right." She said, looking up at him again. "I am. I am punishing him. And I am pissed off at him."  
Abigayl stood up again but didn't have anywhere to go. "I am so incredibly angry at him all I want to do is kick him and scream at him over and over. But in the same second all I want to do is hug him. I don't fucking understand it!"   
Denis just smiled and stood up, taking her hands in his. "Its because you love him you idiot."  
Aby laughed as it felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. "What should I do then?"  
"Come with me. I'm going to their sound check in about fifteen minutes. You can talk to Ronnie there."  
"Okay. Thank you. For yelling at me. And for everything."  
"No problem. I'll yell at ya anytime." He replied before pulling her into a hug.   
"I'm going to change clothes and check on Matty. I'll meet you outside in a few minutes."

Music was already playing as they walked through the back door of the venue. Abigayl let herself get lost in Ronnie's voice as she followed Denis to the side of the stage. She could literally listen to him all day. Sometimes she did. Even when she had been so pissed off at him she had just about threw her engagement ring out the window of a taxi, Aby had gone back to Cam's house and blared Destiny through the speakers. She needed him.   
"Nah, dude as much as I don't really care to, I still can't hear Ryan at all." Ronnie said as the music cut out. Becca laughed from where she was sat in one of the back booths playing with Alessa.   
"I heard that!" Ryan yelled from the stage.   
"Can we please just get this done. You guys goof off more than you play." The man in the sound booth shouted up to the stage.   
Troy, who was stood down in the pit area, waived the comment off.   
Before she could stop herself, Abigayl ran out on to the stage and wrapped her arms around Ronnie's waist.   
"What the fu- Aby? Baby what's wrong?"   
Words wouldn't even form in her head so she just held on to him tighter.   
"Seriously? We are never going to get through this sound check." The sound guy said in frustration.   
"Dude, your ass is about to lose it's job if you don't shut the fuck up." She heard Troy say back.   
"Abigayl look at me. Hey, focus for a second."  
Aby took a couple deep breaths and pulled away just enough to look up at him. Ronnie smiled and pushed her hair out of her face.   
"What are you doing you crazy woman?"   
"I'm sorry. I am so so sorry. That shit I said. It was so horrible. And-" She stopped as he put his hand over her mouth.   
"Okay, okay. Give me ten minutes and we'll talk."  
Abigayl nodded as he dropped his hand and Denis took her hand, pulling her back off stage.   
It was the longest ten minutes of her life. When Denis had gone on to sing with Ronnie, Aby had made her way down to stand with Troy.   
"They sound good together." She said, nudging his shoulder.   
"They do. This should be good."  
"I'm sorry for interrupting."  
Troy just scoffed. "You have the right to interrupt. And since I'm privy to what's been going on, because I'm nosy, I'm happy you did. Ronnie came in all sorts of pissed off this morning. I assumed it was something to do with you."  
"Yeah, it's called I'm an idiot. Denis set me straight though. Now I just need to grovel."   
He laughed. "They should be done soon. You'll get your chance."

"Alright. Come on. Come talk to me."   
Abigayl said goodbye to Troy as Ronnie pulled her out of the main room and into an empty hallway.   
"So? What's this about? What's so important you needed to come in during sound check? You know better." He said, leaning back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest.   
Abigayl wrapped her arms around herself as her stomach turned. She had to do this but dammit admitting she was wrong to him was so much harder than anyone could have guessed.   
"Well? Out with it. I've got more important things to do than stand here while you stare at the floor."  
Aby knew he was only being an asshole because she had but it still hurt like hell. Defense mechanism or not, it killed her.   
"Denis called me a cunt." She blurted out.   
Ronnie gave her an amused look. "Well, he isn't wrong, but to appease you I'll ask why."  
"Because I was being one...I was punishing you. And I used Matty to do it."  
"So much for promising you'd never do that huh?" He asked flatly.   
"I know. I'm just...angry. I'm fucking pissed and I haven't let it out. You left me, pregnant in a hotel halfway around the world. You LEFT! I didn't know what to do. I was terrified. By the time I got to Phoenix I should have been so angry I could kill but I wasn't. I just ended up missing you. Then seeing you again brought back all that anger. I'm sorry. Ronnie, I am so sorry." She finished, leaning back against the opposite wall.   
"I guess I kind of deserved that." He said finally. Abigayl stayed quiet.   
"So um, the visitation thing...can we talk about that now?"  
Good job Aby. He doesn't want anything to do with you now. Why would he?   
"Yeah, sure. We can if you want. Did you have something in mind?"  
Abigayl jumped when he moved to take her hands in his.   
"Well, idealy I'd like Matty to live with me in LA but I think his mother should be with him."  
"I'm not letting you take him from me Ronnie. I will fight you. You'd probably win but I wouldn't stop trying." She said, tears burning behind her eyes. He wouldn't really try to take Matty, would he?   
"Abigayl you're not listening to me. I don't want to take him from you. I want you and my son to live with me. I want you to move back in. I promise I will work harder at making things less...stressful. No more drama."  
She wanted to believe that. But drama free was just not how their lives worked. There would always be drama. They just needed to deal with it better.   
"It's not just you Ronnie. We all have made rifts in our relationship. But if you're promising to try then I will too." She answered, squeezing his hand.   
"Thank you. Maybe if the two of us can work things out Jacky will move back sooner too."  
"Sooner?"  
He nodded. "He wants to take things slow. Make this a fresh start or something like that."  
Ronnie was trying his best to sound like he was put off by the whole ordeal but he was smiling like someone just handed him sunshine and Abigayl was happy to see that.   
"A fresh start would be good." She said, lacing her fingers together behind his neck.   
He didn't respond, just leaned down and hugged her tight. Without words to chase it away all the emotional stress from the last few months and the happiness she felt right then welled up and tears ran unchecked down her cheeks. Abigayl didn't even realize how hard she was crying until the fabric she had her face pressed against was damp. She hated crying. She was not this weak.   
"No, you're not weak. You're human. And you've been through a lot. Let it out. I got you."   
The tears got faster, the vise on her chest tighter, as those words were whispered into her hair.   
When she finally lifted her head it felt like all the energy had been drained from her body. In truth it really had. The exhaustion she hadn't allowed herself to feel finally took hold as that wall came crumbling down and she just breathed through it.   
"I um, I need to go check on Matty. If he's still asleep I think I'm going to lay down with him." Aby said as she wiped at her eyes.   
"Okay. Can I come see him before the show?" He asked.   
"Might text me before you do and make sure I'm awake but yes, you can. I'll see you later then." 

"Aby? Abigayl? The shows going to start in about half an hour. Are you going to watch?"  
Half asleep Abigayl rolled over in her bunk and out of habit slid her hand into the little bassinet beside her but as her fingers only touched air she sat up fully awake.   
"Where is Matty?"  
Corey frowned at her, dark blue eyes full of worry. "He woke up a little while ago. A member of the other band came to see him. Cameron told me it was okay, so he's out in the front room with him now. Are you okay?" She asked.  
Abigayl nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry. Just used to him being here when I wake up. Thank you for taking care of him. I can't believe I didn't hear you come get him."  
Corey smiled and shrugged. "You were out like a light. Matty started fussing and I started to worry when you didn't wake up, but Cam said to let you sleep."  
"I haven't slept that hard in what seems like forever." She said, sliding out of the bunk.   
Corey followed her into the front room where Ronnie had Matty laying on the couch beside him, talking to the baby.   
"He just started doing that this last week." Abigayl said as Matty gripped one of Ronnie's fingers in his tiny hand. "I may have gone a little overboard on the toy thing. Cam's house looks like a daycare and I can't even blame Matty for it yet. I made him this uh, ring of laminated pictures. It's easy for him to grip on to. I'll go get it for him."  
It took a bit of searching through her bunk but eventually the little toy was found and she took it back out and handed it to Ronnie.   
The photos were of family, Dr. Lynn had told her it would help when he started recognizing people.   
"You put ones of me and J in here..."  
She nodded. "I didn't want him to not know you."  
Ronnie was quiet for a minute like he wasn't sure what else to say.   
"So, what um, what else does he do?"  
Abigayl couldn't help but laugh at the clueless edge to his voice. "He 'talks' a lot. And he's very curious. The guys all came to stay at Cam's after he was born. I don't think he was put down the whole time. They carried him everywhere, showing him everything. Especially Denis. He was staying with a friend in Vegas but drive down a ton to see Matty. Don't be surprised when he ends up with some half British, half Ukrainian accent."  
Ronnie actually laughed at that surprisingly enough. "Baby Ukranish. You poor thing." He said, wiggling his fingers in front of his son until he grabbed one. Matty stared at his hand before babbling off something in that weird little baby language.   
"I think he likes tattoos. Stares at them on everyone." She said, moving to kneel on the ground beside the couch.   
"Guess he'll have to get used to them considering his family. He's just.....so small."  
"What did you expect Ronnie? A forty pound baby?" She teased. "He's not that tiny. You're just a lot bigger than him. You make him look tiny."  
"Uh huh. Sure. Blame it on me. Can I take a picture of him?"  
Aby shook her head at him. "Of course you can."  
Ronnie was all smiles as he snapped a photo of Matty and typed something before setting his phone back on the counter.   
Her own phone beeped at figuring it was one of the boys she took it from her pocket. It was the picture Ronnie had just taken.   
The caption read: Damn I made an adorable kid. Guess I've got good genes. And maybe @AbigaylTY had a little something to do with it. Everyone say hello to Matthew. 

@AbigaylTY: @RonnieRakde A little? WE made a cute kid. @JackyCVincent where are you?? 

@JackyCVincent: @AbigaylTY I'll be over in a second

 

 

"Jacky? Hey, what are we doing back in here? You alright mate?"  
Jacky nodded as Denis sat down on the edge of the stage with him. It was always weird after closing coming back into a venue. They always seemed so much more threatening. But it wasn't like they could just have this conversation anywhere.  
"Yeah, I'm fine. We just need to talk."  
The smile faded from his face, seriousness taking hold in his honey colored eyes. "This is about Ronnie then?"  
"He asked me to move back in with him." He replied.  
Denis frowned. "Why don't you seem happy then? I though this was what you wanted?"  
"I do. I told him we had to take things slow. But you've all but lived with me these last few months. I think I might actually miss you." He said honestly.  
His friend smiled and leaned in until their shoulders were together.  
"To be honest I'm going to miss you too Jacky, but just because we aren't living together that doesn't mean I can't randomly text you at three a.m. You're my friend. That's not changing."  
Jacky caught himself smiling at that. "That makes things easier I think."  
"Hey, I was invited with the boys to stay at your boyfriend's house tonight. But why don't you and I just drive to Vegas tonight?"  
"One last night together you mean?"  
Denis just smiled and nudged his shoulder.  
"Abigayl is bringing Matty though."  
"Up to you. I'd like to spend the night with you but it's your choice Jacky."  
His choice. Why'd everything have to be his choice?  
Letting out a long breath, he reached over to lace his fingers through Denis's.  
"We'll go to Vegas."


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 2.29

January 30th  
Las Vegas, Nevada

 

"Jackyyyyyy.....JJ wake up..."  
Shivers ran along his skin as Jacky slowly pulled himself out of sleep. A moan caught in his throat as the weight of another person registered on top of him. Hands skimmed up his sides as teeth grazed the skin just below his ear. Man he loved waking up like this.   
"I'm awake." He managed to get out.   
Denis's laugh vibrated against his chest.   
"You're supposed to be packing. Not sleeping." He replied, laying down on the small couch beside him.   
He and Ronnie would never have fit on here. Maybe that's why he'd been so instantly attracted to Denis. He was Ronnie's complete opposite.   
It had been an accident really. They'd ended up on the same plane headed to New York. Ten hours later the flight landed and Jacky felt like he'd known him forever. Had even invited him to Vegas. A couple weeks later he had a roommate of sorts. The transition from sharing a house to sharing a bed had come naturally too. But there was never any question to their relationship. They were just two people who enjoyed each other's company both in and out of the bedroom. They weren't dating and that's exactly how they both wanted it.   
"What are you thinking so hard about?"  
Snapping back to reality, Jacky rolled on to his side. "Just spaced off. Did you get everything packed?"  
"Um, no. I kind of fell asleep too. I have a few things left but I'm not sure if they're mine or yours."  
Jacky had to laugh. They had formed a bad habit of just pulling clothes out of the closet without caring who's was who's. That was something he would miss. Just how easy it was for them to exist together. No fighting. They hardly ever argued and when they did it was usually over something stupid. It was a nice change of pace.  
Following Denis back into the bedroom he honest to god laughed at the pile of clothes on their bed. It looked like he'd stacked their entire closet on there.  
"This is going to be more of a project than I expected." Jacky said, picking up a Blackcraft t-shirt and throwing it at him. "That one I know isn't mine."  
"Well, this one has to be yours." Denis said, pulling a nasty face as he held a dark blue shirt up.  
"Why do you say that?"  
"Because it's got a damn butterfly on it. I don't wear butterflies!" He replied dramatically before throwing it at him.  
It was an old Breathe Carolina shirt with a giant cartoon dragonfly on it.  
"Denis...this is a dragonfly."  
Coming around to the other side of the bed, Denis pointed at the weird insect. "That's some kind of dragon-butterfly hybrid from hell. It's a...a butterdragon!"  
Jacky tried like hell not to laugh but failed horribly. "You weirdo. A butterdragon? What the hell D?"  
Denis just grinned at him. "I have no idea. It's the first thing that popped into my head."  
Damn he was so freakin gorgeous when he smiled like that. Before he could remind himself they were actually supposed to be packing, Jacky grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him down for a kiss. It didn't take long for them to add to the mass of clothes laying around the room and Denis had him pressed against the sheets kissing him senseless.   
Jacky closed his eyes, focusing on the feel of soft lips grazing his skin as Denis broke away and made a lazy path of bites and kisses down his throat.   
"You're so ticklish. I love it."   
About the time he was going to snark back a warm, wet tongue curled around the head of his dick causing him to arch up into Denis's mouth. His friend laughed, the sound vibrating through his skin. Denis didn't know how to edge him like Ronnie did. He wasn't going to last long like this. Jacky gripped at the sheets as he licked him from base to tip before sliding back down, all but swallowing him whole. Those soft lips and wicked tongue applied more pressure and sucked the air out of his lungs. Before he could catch his breath Denis pulled back one more time, grazing his teeth over sensitive skin and Jacky sat upright, fingers digging into his hair, roughly holding him in place as he came into his throat, a cry tearing out of his own.  
"Holy shit." He said finally, letting go of him and falling back agaisnt their mountain of pillows.  
Denis crawled back up his body, leaving hot little kisses along the way before their lips met again.  
"That was....awesome." He said, rolling on to the bed beside him,  
"You have no idea." Jacky answered, rolling into him until they were flush together again. "What about you though?"  
Denis just laughed. "I think you more than took care of me this morning in the shower. I'm good."  
They were quiet for sometime before he sat up and pulled the duvet over them and Jacky had to admit the heat felt good for some reason. As they settled back down together he felt almost sad. Maybe he didn't really want this to end.  
"Jacky? Hey, don't fall asleep on me yet. I have something to ask you."  
Jacky smiled, pressing his lips against his throat. "I"m awake. What do you want to ask?"  
"Do you think if things were....different, that you and I could actually be...somthing?"  
He'd thought about that a lot. What if they had met under different circumstances? What would they be to one another?  
"You mean if you didn't have Tori back home?" He asked.  
Denis nodded. "And if you didn't belong to Ronnie already. I think I would have liked to make something with you."  
"You don't date guys though Denis."  
"I would have made an exception for you. I don't know JJ. I just..."  
"I know. I love you too."

Who's phone was that? And what time was it?   
Reaching over to the bedside table Jacky grabbed his phone and answered it without even opening his eyes.   
"Hello?"  
"Hey J are you busy?"  
Nothing could have woke him up faster than hearing Ronnie's voice on the other end of the line.   
"Uh no. Hold on a sec." He answered, trying quietly to untangle himself from Denis's arms and climb out of bed. Once he'd pulled on a pair of shorts he headed out into the living room.   
"Hey sorry, um what's up?"  
"Rosa decided to take Matty for the night. Aby and I are coming to Vegas early. Just some alone time. Gonna take her to dinner. Thought you might want to join us?" Ronnie asked, but he sounded more than suspicious.   
"Dinner tonight? Yeah, I could do that. Where are you guys staying? I can meet you there or the restaurant." He replied.   
"The Palms."  
Jacky knew exactly what that meant. There was only one reason he'd stay at the Palms instead of the Nobu suite. "Tell me you did not spend fifteen thousand dollars on a room."   
"I didn't. It was more like eighteen but does it really matter? I wanted tonight to something special. Something nice."  
Jacky scoffed, and caught the confused look on Denis's face as he walked into the room. "When are you going to learn that making something special for us doesn't mean spending a bunch of money? Neither of us care how much you spend on something. All it would take to make tonight special is the three of us together." He spat out before he could think about how it sounded.   
"I'm sorry Jacky. Next time I won't. I promise."   
The sincerity of the regret in Ronnie's voice immediately made him feel like an ass.   
"No, I'm sorry. That was out of line. It's your money. If you want to spend it like that then that's your decision."  
"Okay. Can we come pick you up then?"  
"No! No, I um, I'll meet you at the restaurant. I know where you're going. Just text me when you're headed there." He said quickly.   
"Why can't we come get you?"  
Jacky racked his brain as quickly as possible but came up empty handed. They just could not come here.   
"The apartment's kind of hard to find. Easier if I just meet you." He answered, knowing damn well that excuse wasn't going to cut it.   
Ronnie laughed. "I know Vegas like the back of my hand Jacks. I lived there remember?"  
"Look, this place is a mess from me packing. I just don't want anyone here. Please just let me meet up with you."  
"You could have just said that J. I'll text you when we get to the hotel."  
"Okay, thank you."  
"Jacks?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I...I just. Dammit. Whatever is going on that has you so on edge right now, I want you to know that it's okay. We'll work through whatever we need to, okay?"  
Jacky rubbed at the center of his chest where it felt like someone was prying his sternum off with a crowbar.   
"Okay." Was all he could get out.   
"Okay. We'll see you soon then. Love you."  
"Love you too." He said but the line was already dead.   
"You alright mate?"  
He tried and failed to give Denis a reassuring smile. "No. Not really. I-"  
"Hold on babe. Sorry, it's Ben." He said as he pulled his phone from his pocket. Jacky assumed he put it on speaker since he didn't put the thing to his ear. "Hey Ben, what's up?"  
"Hey Baby Bird. How's my favorite twinks doing? Having a cheeky little sleepover?"  
Denis rolled his eyes. "Why are you calling?"  
Ben scoffed. "Fine, fine. You're no fun at all. I was calling to warn you both that Ronnie and Abigayl are on their way to Vegas."  
"We know." Jacky spoke up. "Ronnie called just now."  
"Ah, then I'm late. Baby Bird did you tell Jacky about that thing we talked about?"  
"Not in so many words, but yes." Denis replied. "We'll be okay. No worries. Thanks for calling though Big Bird. I'm going to take my shit over to Encore. We can stay there before heading to Phoenix?"  
"Sounds good to me. See you fuckers tomorrow then." Ben said before hanging up.   
Jacky watched as Denis slid his phone into his back pocket and came to sit on the coffee table in front of him.   
"So? What was Ben talking about? What were you supposed to tell me? Hmm?" He asked, leaning forward to put his elbows on Denis's knees.   
"Stop that." He laughed, leaning in until their foreheads touched. "What we talked about before we fell asleep. But it's true, we're gonna be okay, right?"  
"Mhm. I think so. I guess we're going to find out. I'm sorry we had to call this short though. Them coming to town was not part of the plan."  
"Oh well. Had to end eventually. Come on. Let's get you ready for your date."  
Jacky just rolled his eyes and followed him back into the bedroom.

 

R: We just got to the hotel. Wanna just meet us here? 

J: Yeah. Be there in a bit

"So this is it then?"  
Jacky tried to smile as he put a tie around his neck only to realize he had to idea how to tie it. Ronnie had always done it for him.   
Holding the length of black fabric in his hands, he sat down on the edge of the bed and just stared at it.   
"Um, do you want help?" Denis asked, giving him a confused look.   
Jacky shook his head. "No, I'll put it on later."  
"Okay, I'm gonna go call you a cab then."  
He just sat there as Denis left the room.   
Part of him didn't want to leave, but the more he though about it, the more he realized that was the part of him that was terrified to get back into a relationship with Abigayl and Ronnie. Was what he'd told Denis even true? Did he love him? It felt true when he'd said it. But his friend knew just as well as he did that his heart wasn't here. This wasn't where he belonged. All he had to do was let go of that fear and go home. 

About twenty minutes later the taxi pulled up in front of the palms and he headed inside. At the front desk he text Ronnie and told him where he was. It took a good ten minutes for him to come down from the room.   
"Abigayl's almost ready. You can come upstairs if you want." Ronnie said, pulling at the sleeves of his coat. Black on black suit. No surprise there but damn did he look good. He owned it, that was for sure.   
"Yeah, I'd like that. You look good by the way." He said before his brain could tell him not to.   
The compliment earned him a smile though as they walked back to the private elevator. Sometime during the quick ride to the top Ronnie laced their fingers together and squeezed his hand. With that gesture it was like the haze lifted. There was nowhere he belonged more than right here and the fact that he had thought about calling it quits forever made him sick to his stomach.   
Jacky looked down at their hands, the black bands on their fingers, and smiled as an explosion of simple happiness ran through him. This was right.   
"What's that smile for?" Ronnie asked as the elevator door opened.   
"I'm just happy to be here." He answered. "Real happy."  
Ronnie smiled and opened another door into the villa.   
"Hey wait a sec." He said suddenly.   
"What's up?"  
Jacky hesitated a moment before pulling the black tie out of his pocket and handing it to him. "I don't know how to do it." He admitted, staring down at the top of his shoes.   
Ronnie just smiled and popped his collar up before putting the thin silk around his neck and tying it with a remembered ease. Jacky watched his face as he worked. His lashes low he bit at his lip as he finished the tie and straightened his collar again.   
"Perfect. You look perfect." He said leaning down to gently kiss him.   
"Jacky, you're here!"  
They both turned at the sound of Aby's voice and his breath caught in his throat. Her hair was all piled up on top of her head, a few strands falling against her cheeks. She had on a long black strapless dress that slit up the side showing the filmy material underneath and glittery silver heels. Man no woman had anything on her.   
As fast as she could she ran over to him, throwing her arms around his neck.   
"I'm so happy you're here." She said against his neck.   
"Me too Aby. You're gonna mess up your hair though." He teased when she pulled away.   
She waived it off. "I don't care. Hugging you is worth it."  
Abigayl wrapped her arms around him again and held on for dear life. Jacky's smile faded as he looked up at Ronnie. The expression on his face made him want to cringe. Something in his gut told him he knew. He knew why Jacky hadn't wanted them at his place.   
"Aby, sweetie, go finish getting ready. Jacky and I need to talk."  
She didn't look too happy about being told what to do but Aby kissed his cheek and headed back into the other room.   
"You shouldn't order her around like that. She's your girlfriend. Not your subordinate." Jacky said once they were alone.   
"Worry about yourself Jacky."  
"What the hell man? Just a few minutes ago you were kissing me and now it seems like you don't even want me here. What did I do?"  
Those brown eyes bore into him and it took everything Jacky had in him not to step back.  
"When we talked about wanting to take things slow I wasn't aware that was so you could run back to your boyfriend for another night. You missed this whole day with Matty to come back to Vegas with him. A whole month J. You're going to be on tour a whole month. I hope it was worth it. But if you've still got plans to see him after tonight then leave. I don't want you here and I don't want you around my family. I promised Abigayl if she gave me a chance I would do everything in my power to eradicate the needless drama in our lives for the sake of her and my son. If you're going to jeapordize that then you don't need to be here. Do you understand me? End it, or move on with him."  
Jacky shook his head and tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. "It's over. I swear Ronnie it IS over. It's just...everything happened so fast in San Diego, we didn't have time to say goodbye. I know that isn't a good excuse for coming here instead. I know. But I did. I have to live with that. I regret not seeing Matty. Trust me on that. But it's over. All of it."  
"Okay, all ready to go?" Abigayl said, walking back into the room. "Uh, sorry. Didn't mean to interupt."  
Ronnie smiled at her. "It's okay. We're done. And I'm sorry for the way I talked to you earlier."  
Abigayl put her hands on his chest, leaning up to kiss him. "We're good. Just don't think you'll get away with it again."  
"Deal. Oh, before we go, I have something for you."  
He and Aby both watched as Ronnie grabbed a long, slim box off the table by the door then turned back to her.  
Abigayl looked excited as he opened the lid to show a necklace with a teardrop pendant about two inches long on the end. It was clear and faded to a silvery black at the bottom. It looked like the color was almost liquid as he tilted the box back and forth. Abigayl squealed and reached forward only for Ronnie to snap the lid shut on her fingers.   
She started laughing, a bright smile on her face and he returned it, opening the lid back up and taking the necklace out.   
"Here let me help."   
Abigayl turned around as Ronnie slipped the thin silver chain around her neck.  
Jacky found himself smiling despite the fact that he knew he was still under the interrogation light. No one looking at the two of them would ever think Ronnie and Aby weren't a couple. They just looked too perfect together. Man, he wished he could fit in with them. The glitz and glam just wasn't him no matter how hard he tried. He felt like a kid playing dress up with the adults.   
"It's so gorgeous! Thank you." She said, turning to kiss him again.   
"You're very welcome. Jacks? Ready to go?"  
He just nodded and followed them out to the elevator.   
A black limo waited for them outside.  
Jacky sat on one side while they sat on the other. Abigayl didn't seem to notice he was distancing himself and if Ronnie did, he didn't care. Sitting back against the warm leather seat he closed his eyes and waited. He figured they were headed to the Palazzo to Carnevino, Ronnie's favorite steakhouse. He and Abigayl frequented it when they came through Vegas. Jacky on the other hand could live without it. He wasn't too big on the steak thing to begin with. So when the limo finally came to a stop outside the Aria he was more than confused.   
Ronnie shook his head as they got out and put a hand on his back as they headed inside.   
"Thought you might like sushi for dinner." He said quietly.   
BarMASA. That's why they were here. One of, if not the top, seafood restaurants in the area. He'd never actually been there but he'd read about it.   
"Thank you. I...just thank you."  
"Tonight isn't just about Aby and me. It's for you too." He replied. 

He was in sushi heaven.   
Jacky looked down at the little plates that littered the table. He left the vegetable ones for Aby and picked up one he knew was eel. They were going to have to roll him out of the restaurant.   
"Okay, we should come here more often." Abigayl said, taking a drink of her peach Bellini.   
"Only if we can order room service when we get back. Something sweet to get the taste of ick out of my mouth." Ronnie replied.   
Jacky just laughed. Poor guy just wanted a rack of ribs.   
"We'll get you a giant cheeseburger as soon as we get back to the room." Jacky interjected, then realized that was the first time tonight he'd actually outright spoke to him.   
Ronnie smiled at him, a genuine smile that he wasn't sure he'd see again anytime soon. "I'm gonna hold you to that J."

 

This was good.   
Abigayl listened as Jacky and Ronnie continued to bullshit one another. Whatever she had walked in on back at the hotel seemed to have been resolved.  
The ride back to the Palms was drastically different then the ride to the Aria had been. Abigayl lounged back against the door after kicking her heels off and stretching her legs out on the seat. Jacky had laid down on the other bench, his head in Ronnie's lap. Poor guy had ate so much she knew he had to be miserable.  
A phone rang as they walked into the penthouse and Aby was surprised to find it was hers. She hoped it wasn't Rosa. She had been reluctant to leave Matty, not being sure how he'd behave, but Rosa had assured her that she could handle anything and Aby believed her.  
"Derek?"  
"What?" Jacky asked, slipping his coat off.  
"He's calling me." She answered, sliding the button to answer. "Derek? What's up?"  
"Abigayl is Ronnie with you?" He asked hurriedly.  
"Um yeah, he's standing right here. Is everything okay?"  
"Not really. I'll let him tell you after I talk to him."  
More than confused, Abigayl handed the phone over to Ronnie who left the room.  
"What do you think that was about?"  
Aby shook her head. "No idea. Hey, help me with this zipper?"  
Jacky's hands were cool on her skin as he unzipped the back of her dress. She wasn't surprised when he pulled the pins from her hair and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.  
"Thank you for coming with us tonight J." She said, lacing her fingers through his.  
"No place I'd rather be Aby."  
Abigayl held up the front of her dress as she turned around in his arms. "Are you sure?"  
Jacky frowned at her. "Of course I'm sure. Why wouldn't I be?"  
"Jacky you chose coming to Vegas with Denis over us last night. You can't tell me you don't care about him. Are you absolutely sure this is where you want to be?"  
"How the hell does everyone know he and I were together? It wasn't public knowledge."  
"It's not, but it was pretty obvious to your family. Both his and yours. We've known since September. But that's not point. Answer the question." She said sternly. He wasn't going to hedge this one.  
"I do care okay? I do. A lot. I had to think hard on my decision here but in the end I realized it was too easy. Nothing worth having comes that easy. No matter how hard it is, the three of us being together is worth fighting for. This is where I want to be. I wish it hadn't made Ronnie so mad though."  
"He's not mad Jacky. Remember how you felt when you thought about him and Ryan being together?"  
Jacky sneered at that.  
"Exactly." She continued. "That's how Ronnie feels about you and Denis. I don't think you understand how much he loves you J. It killed him to let you leave last night knowing what you were doing. It also killed a lamp and a chair but that's not the point. I'm just really happy you you're here with us."  
Abigayl rested her head against his chest as Ronnie came back into the room.  
"I second that. J, I'm sorry I was so hard on you earlier. You didn't deserve that." He said.  
"Thank you. Is everything alright at home? Why was Derek calling?"  
Ronnie shook his head. "I have to go back to LA tonight. Something I need to deal with before the show tomorrow."  
Aby pulled away from Jacky to look up at him. "What? Why? There are tons of people at the house right now. Can't one of them deal with whatever it is?"  
"I'm sorry sweetie. This isn't something I would want anyone else to have to deal with. Just stay here and enjoy the rest of the night. I'll see you tomorrow as soon as I get back into town. AND I promise to tell you everything then too. Jacky, you'll stay here tonight?"  
J nodded. "Of course. But really Ronnie, it's' almost midnight. By the time you get home you're not going to have time to sleep before the show tomorrow. Can't it wait?"  
Abigayl watched Ronnie grind his teeth as he plotted in his head.  
"No, Jacks you're right. You're absolutely right. It's not enough time." He answered, checking his watch. "So you'll stay then?" She asked.  
"Also no. I'm just going to take a plane instead." He answered, dialing a number into his phone. "I have to go. I'll see you two tomorrow. Everything will be fine. I promise."  
As he hugged them both Abigayl wanted to argue but kept quiet.

"Aby what are you doing?" Jacky asked as he changed into a pair of shorts.   
Abigayl ignored him and dialed Ben's number. It tool him awhile but he finally answered.   
"Aby? Why you calling? Aren't you supposed to be having some cheeky romantic evening?" He asked hurriedly.   
"I am. Sort of. What's going on at the house?"  
"Um, nothing? Jenna and me have Matty upstairs watching Storage Wars. The house is quiet. Beauty what's going on?"  
She let out a frustrated breath. "I have no idea. Ronnie just left. He's flying back to LA. Tonight. Derek called and then he left. And he wouldn't tell us what's going on."  
"If he didn't tell you then maybe you shouldn't worry about it then hmm? What did Jacky tell you to do?"  
"To let it go."  
Ben just laughed. "Figured so. Really Aby if I find anything out I'll call you okay? Just enjoy the rest of the night."  
"Fine. I guess you're right. Goodnight Ben."  
"Night night Beauty."  
Setting the phone on the table beside the bed, Aby flopped on to her back and tried to calm down. Why wasn't anyone making a big deal of this?   
"What did he say then?" Jacky asked, grabbing her ankles and pulling her to the end of the bed.   
Aby shook her head as she sat up. "Told me not to worry, just like you did."  
To his credit, Jacky didn't poke fun at her which was a relief. "Well I doubt either of us will get much sleep worrying about it so you wanna try out that little pool thing?"  
"Think it'll be a good distraction?"  
Jacky smiled, his eyes dark, promising, and Abigayl felt a chill run through her. "I'm sure I can find someway to distract you."


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 2.30

January 31st  
Las Vegas, Nevada 

 

Jacky smiled to himself as he felt an arm wrap around him and fingers tangle with his own. He opened his eyes just enough to make out the rose tattoo and chipped black fingernail polish, though he didn't need to see to know it was Ronnie.  
"You're back already? What time is it?"  
"A little after eight." He answered, nuzzling into his hair. "Aby is asleep out on the couch. Did you two fight last night?"  
Jacky shook his head. "No, she woke up a couple of hours ago and couldn't get back to sleep. We're fine. What about you? Everything okay at home?"  
"It will be. I don't want to talk about it right now though. Too tired."  
He wanted to push. They deserved to know what had happened but Ronnie sounded exhausted.  
"Alright." He replied, rolling over to face him. Jacky smiled. He was already drifting off. "I guess we'll talk later."

He woke up again to hot, ragged breath against his neck. Ronnie was still asleep but he was dreaming, and by the sounds he was making Jacky was fairly certain it was a good dream. Very good.   
Careful not to wake him, Jacky brushed his thumb across his bottom lip.  
"....mmm." He all but wimpered. "...Jacky, I..."  
He was dreaming about him? How fucking sexy was that? Even in his dreams where he could have anyone, Ronnie was still thinking about him. Maybe Abigayl was right. And maybe they had more to talk about than he thought.   
Very slowly, Jacky leaned up on his elbow and pressed his lips to Ronnie's skin just over his collarbone. God he tasted like heaven. Taking his time he licked a long line down his chest and abdomen, feeling his muscles contract and release. With a moan caught low in his throat, Ronnie rolled on to his back and Jacky felt his fingers sink into his hair.   
"Jacks..."  
Lifting his head he saw those dark brown eyes open just enough to let him know he was awake.   
Jacky couldn't help but smile as be crawled back up to kiss him. Ronnie wasted no time rolling him underneath him.   
"Off." He said, voice gravely as he tried to pull his shirt off. Jacky stopped him.   
"What's wrong?"  
Jacky bit his lip. Not exactly the moment he wanted to have this conversation in. "It's just yesterday with Den- I think it'd be better if I kept it on."  
Ronnie actually laughed which caught him off guard. "You can say his name Jacky."  
"Aby said you were angry when I left for Vegas. Be honest with me Ronnie. Wouldn't it just be easier for both of you if I had stayed with Denis?"  
Ronnie sat back on his heels and Jacky watched him grind his teeth. He was actually thinking about it this time instead of just spouting whatever sounded good. It took a few minutes but then he shook his head.   
"No, it wouldn't be easier per say. Would we have dealt with it? Probably. I think maybe Aby would have eventually been okay but I wouldn't have. You want the honest truth? Here it is. Your aversion to conflict makes it easy for people to push you around. And by people I mean me. I have abused the fact that you care about me over and over knowing no matter what I do you'll always come back. I knew Denis was living with you in Vegas but it didn't bother me because I left. It was my decision. And just like every other time you forgave me and came back to me. But then you left with him. Even if it was just for one night. And it hit me that you may actually care about him. Care enough to not come back. That hit me like a fucking semi truck to the chest. The realization that I could honestly lose you...I don't know what I'd do. I sat down with Aby and talked. Everything she said was true. I treat you like shit without even thinking about it because I think there aren't repercussions. I take advantage of your loyalty. I made a decision not to call you yesterday. I was going to try one time to do something good for you and let you be happy with him. Abigayl made me call. She said I needed too. I'd like to try and prove to you how much I need you. But that being said, if not being with me is what you need then don't be afraid to say so. I'll support whatever you want to do."  
Jacky took a second to let that all sink in before sitting up to lightly kiss him.   
"So basically what you're saying is no matter how in control you try to tell yourself you are, I have you wrapped around my little finger." He teased, trying to lighten the mood a little.   
Ronnie just rolled his eyes.   
"I told Denis I loved him."  
He regretted the words as soon as they left his lips and the light disappeared from Ronnie's eyes.   
"Well, is um, that true?"  
"Yeah, it is. I do."  
Ronnie nodded. "Okay... Okay. Like I said. I'll support whatever you decide to do. Whatever is best for you."  
"You truly mean that. Don't you?"  
"Yes."  
That was all he needed to know.  
With a smile he wrapped on hand around the back of his neck and pulled him to his lips again. As the kiss deepened Ronnie pressed him back against the silky red sheets.  
"I was dreaming about you." He whispered, sending shivers across Jacky's skin.  
"I know. You said my name." Jacky replied.  
"What were you dreaming about?"   
Ronnie grinned down at him and shook his head. "You don't really need to know. We'll just say it was a good dream."  
Jacky scoffed. "Ronnie, there isn't much you and I haven't done. What could you possibly have dreamt up?"  
"It wasn't just you Jacks."  
Oh.  
So much for being the one Ronnie dreamt about at night.  
"Aby then?"   
He shook his head.  
"Then who else would it have be-" Jacky stopped short as heat rippled through his veins. "You were dreaming about me and Denis...weren't you?"  
Ronnie made like he was going to leave but Jacky grabbed on to his arm, pulling him back to the side of the bed. "Oh no you don't. You're not going anywhere. Why do you think you were dreaming of us?"  
He just shrugged and wouldn't look up at him. "You uh, um, you tasted like him. When I kissed you yesterday. It's not something I'm exactly proud of Jacky. But this is the second time I've dreamt about you."  
"We were messing around a bit before I left last night."  
Ronnie tried to pull his hand away again but Jacky held on tight.   
"J, seriously, I don't need to know any of this."  
He wasn't getting out of this that easy. Sitting up on his knees Jacky rested his hands on his hips.  
"Let me show you what me and Denis were doing." He replied, leaning in to slowly trail his tongue over his Royalty tattoo.   
"Jacks...you gotta stop..."  
Jacky ignored him but didn't get much further before they were interupted.  
"Guys? Um, sorry. Can I come in a minute?" Abigayl asked, standing just inside the bedroom. She wore one of his t-shirts and her hair was a mess. She must have just woke up.  
"Of course you can." Jacky answered, holding his hand out to her.  
Abigayl accepted and sat up on the bed with him.  
"You okay?" Ronnie asked, pushing her hair back from her face.  
She nodded. "Kind of. I just- I was gonna just let you two go on but this is my last day with you for awhile. And I didn't give Jacky what he wanted last night."  
"Aby, it's not a big deal. You have the right to say no." Jacky replied, rubbing up and down her back.  
"I know. But I wanted too. If I'm honest I was bit nervous. I haven't had sex since we were all in London."  
"Wait, since London? What about Cam? I thought the two of you were actually together?"  
"Nope." She answered, popping the 'P'. "Just friends, and he helped me with Matty. But that's not the point. I want a redo of last night. I wanna...try with both of you."  
Ronnie shrugged. "With both of us? Abigayl the three of us have se- Oh. You mean both of us..."  
She nodded, biting her lip ring. "Just once. I'd like to try."  
Okaaaay he was confused. What were they talking about?  
"Um, wanna fill in the idiot? What's she talking about?" He asked, and Abigayl blushed like crazy.

 

Okay, she was ready to crawl into a hole now. What the hell had she been thinking?  
A mischievous smile curved Jacky's lips as Ronnie whispered something into his ear.   
"Oh, I'm so on boar-"  
Jacky was cut off as three different ringtones went off in the room.  
Ronnie didn't even try hiding the fact that he was ticked off as he pulled his phone from his back pocket.  
"Oh shit. It's almost noon. We gotta get down to the venue. Aby, later okay? We'll just stay another night here then head to Phoenix in the morning alright?"  
Aby nodded though she knew it wasn't going to happen. She was going back to LA tonight.

The show went smoothly despite the fact that Sam hadn't had a whole lot of time to learn Falling in Reverse's songs, not to mention the old Escape the Fate songs too. Ronnie had told her and Jacky on the way from the hotel that he was filling in becuase Max had had some kind of family emergency, the details of which he hadn't wanted to get into. Abigayl didn't believe it but she didn't push. Even with them being late, Abigayl was able to find Jenna and talk to her before the show started. They were going to ride back to LA together tonight and Jenna had accepted her invitation to stay at the house with her until the boys got back from tour. A little company would be nice and Aby was surprised to find the fact that she was now Ronnie's ex didn't actually bother her in the slightest. She liked the woman. That's all that mattered.  
After the set was over the guys went about putting everything away and headed for showers. It wasn't long before Ronnie found her.  
"Come with me."  
Abigayl didn't protest, even when he lead her over an 'off limits' sign down a set of stairs. He was in a weird mood and she wasn't about to provoke him.  
He pulled her to a stop about halfway down a hallway so dark she could hardly make out her own hand in front of her face.  
"Babe? Are you okay?"  
He didn't answer, just leaned down to kiss her. He was gentle at first so she didn't mind. This wasn't unusual. She'd spent an exuberant amount of time in dark hallways and back rooms with him after shows, just to release all that pent up energy. This wasn't any different. Or at least she thought it wasn't, but as he ran his hands down to her thighs and tried to pick her up something changed. His touch was impersonal, rough. Painful.  
Abigayl pushed against his chest and Ronnie left her on her feet, hands traveling up under her shirt. The fabric was too tight and before she could do anything he'd ripped the thin blue material right down the middle.  
"Ronnie, what the fuck?!" She yelled, pulling away from him.   
He grabbed her arms and pulled her back. She struggled but he kept her in place, lowering his head to lick along the edge of her bra. She wanted this to feel good. Wanted to be with him but this was wrong and the grip on her arm was honestly beginning to hurt.   
"Please stop. You're hurting me." She said quietly, knowing yelling wasn't going to get her anywhere.  
Ronnie paused for a moment, then rested his forehead against her shoulder. When he didn't say anything but his breathing changed it terrified her to realize he was honest to God crying.  
Gently, she guided him to sit on the cold tile floor. He immediately pulled her on to his lap, burrying his face against her throat. Abigayl stayed quiet and rubbed her hands up and down his back trying like hell to comfort him.   
A good ten minutes went by before he finally calmed down and just breathed.  
"Talk to me, love. Tell me what's going on." She whispered into his hair.   
"Max...I, fuck. Aby I sent my best friend to hell."  
Huh?  
"What do you mean? How? What happened when you went home?"  
He sat back then, laying his head against the wall behind him. "Derek called because he was sharing a room at the house with Max... He brought coke into my home Aby. He brought drugs to my house where my son is. I felt like I didn't have a choice. I called the police on my way to the house. Max had more than just that on him. He tried to tell me he didn't know where it came from. That someone must have planted it on him. Can you believe that? Me of all people. He's still lying. He's never going to stop. He doesn't want too. So I sent him to the one place where he won't have a choice. I can't have that around me and I won't have it around my family. I will not tolerate it." He finished, anger replacing the guilt he was feeling before.   
Aby didn't have a clue what to say. She couldn't even begin to comprehend how he must be feeling. Ronnie had basically, at least in his mind, sent his best friend into the same situation that he would do anything never to go back to. But if she was honest, it was the best option for Max. He needed help. Especially if he's willing to bring drugs around Ronnie again.  
"I'm sorry..." Aby put her hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look at her in the extremely dim light. "Sweetie, I'm so sorry. No one should ever have to make a choice like that. But you did the right thing. He's tried to quit himself, he's tried rehab. Max won't stop until HE realizes he can live without the drugs. This was the only option left for him. I'm proud of you, for dealing with this. I wish you had told us, but that really doesn't matter. It's done and we're here for you if you need us."   
He gave her one of those half smiles that let her know he agreed but wasn't going to admit it.  
"I'm sorry about your shirt. I don't know what I thought I was doing. Did I hurt you?" He asked, trying to pull the halves of her ruined shirt together.  
"No, I'm fine." She replied, slipping the rest of the shirt off her shoulders and tossing it to the floor. "But..." Aby continued, unhooking her bra and adding it to the pile before lacing her fingers together behind his head. "You should finish what you started."   
Ronnie smiled, a real smile, hands skimming up her sides before pulling her hair causing her to arch into him.  
"God I love it when you do that." He said, voice gravely as he kissed along her throat lower and lower until he could flick the tip of his tongue over her nipple. Abigayl bit down on her lip to keep from crying out as he sucked and nipped at her skin.  
If he didn't hurry she was gonna be the one tearing his clothes off.  
"Ronnie...please." She pleaded, tangling her fingers in his hair.  
"Shhh, Aby you're so loud. Okay, okay. Baby, listen." He whispered, taking hold of her hands. "Here."  
Aby wanted to cry from the unfairness of it all as he pulled his black t-shirt off and slid it over her head.  
"Not here. Not tonight. Jenna said you and her are headed back to LA tonight. If i'm not gonna see you for a month then this is not happening now."  
Ooooof course it wasn't.  
"I don't think a month is going to make much difference." She said, standing up and grabbing her stuff, shoving it in her purse before heading back to the stairs.  
Ronnie caught her arm before she got there. "Abigayl? What the hell are you even talking about? It's been a long fucking day and i'm not keeping up apparently."  
Abigayl rolled her eyes. "Okay look. I'll use the gym more and lay off the cookies until you guys get back. See what I can do but I mean, I did just have a baby less than two months ago. I didn't think I looked that bad tho-"  
She was cut off with a kiss that melted her insides.  
"Aby, you insane woman. You looke fine. And I don't care if you want to eat everything in the damn house while we're gone, just stay away from my Twizzlers. I was trying to not be selfish for once and wait till you and J and I were home but hell if it's such a big deal i'd be happy to have you naked on top of me in the next ten seconds."  
Abigayl sucked air in through her teeth as she remembered to breathe again. That was a visual she was definitely happy to be given. Jacky would never have said something like that. He just didn't talk to her like that. Ronnie never cared. He always said exactly what he was thinking, and she loved it.   
"I, um. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed. I'd like that if we could wait."  
He just smiled, pulling her into a hug. "That's the plan then. Let's make it a test. Jacky and I won't do anything without you while we're on tour. We'll wait with you."  
That she scoffed at. "You two can't keep your hands off each other for more than a few minutes. A pair of Gucci shoes, let's say gold, says you won't be able to do it."  
"Oh you are so on little girl. I can do this. Piece of cake. Not like I actually NEED sex. You have those beauties ready for me when I get home."  
Abigayl laughed, laying her cheek against his warm skin. She was really going to enjoy a new pair of shoes.

Jacky frowned at them as they walked out the back door of the venue.   
"Why is Aby wearing your- You know what? I don't want to know. Are we ready to go then? Where are we staying?"  
"We're going on to Phoenix tonight Jacks. Aby's headed home with Jenna. I'll let you say goodbye." Ronnie answered, giving her one last kiss before leaving them alone.   
"I thought we'd have one more night..." He mused, digging the toe of his Converse into the concrete.   
Abigayl felt her heart break a little and slipped her hands into his. "I know. I'm sorry, it's just better for me not to have to drive home alone. And the tour will be over before you know it. We'll be waiting at home for you."  
That made him smile a little.   
"Can I call? I mean, I know Matty can't talk, but can I call and talk to him?"  
"Any day. Any time. We can Skype too. You take care of you and Ronnie okay? He may need you more right now than he's willing to admit. Ask him what happened at home. I think he's ready to tell you."  
Jacky nodded then wrapped his arms around her neck.   
Abigayl breathed him in and forced herself not to fall apart.   
"You take care of Matty. I can't wait to spend time with him. He's gonna grow so much while we're gone."  
"He will but I'll keep you updated, don't worry. Alright, come on Jacks. Get yourself on that bus."  
He gave her one last smile and squeezed her hand then disappeared on to the bus.   
Aby took a deep breath and walked over to the Escalade. Jenna started the SUV as she threw her bags into the backseat then climbed into the front.   
"You alright girl?"   
She nodded. "Yeah, I just... Nevermind. Yeah, I'm fine."  
Jenna scoffed. "And here I thought we were gonna be friends. Come on Aby. Talk."  
"I just got them back. This is their job but dammit a month is a long time!" She said, then took a deep breath. "Okay, I'm done whining. Especially to you. Jenna, for the record, I am sorry for pulling Ronnie away from you."  
Jenna actually laughed at that. "Don't be. I've spent the last few months trying to find what he was missing. I'm not saying I didn't, that I still don't, enjoy his company. Like I told Ronnie though, he and I have become too good of friends to just never talk again. To be honest though seeing him with you and Jacky makes me happy. He found the missing puzzle piece and I made new friends. Everything worked out for the best in my opinion."  
"He was so right about you. You really are one of a kind."  
She just rolled her eyes. "Whatever you guys say. Are you excited about getting home to Matty though?"  
Abigayl nodded, pulling a bag of caramels out of the glovebox. Ronnie really needed to get help for his candy addiction. "That I am very excited about. I've been with him since the moment he was born, so this was quite a test. I'm ready for a bit of normality I guess. I'm glad you decided to stay though."  
"Me too. We'll have fun. And maybe go shopping."  
Aby laughed. "Definitely shopping! But before that, Starbucks. Mama needs a frappe!"  
They both started laughing then and Abigayl felt a little of the sadness leave her. She was going to miss Ronnie and Jacky like hell but this was their life. This is what she signed on for, and she could handle it.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 2.31

February 13th  
Los Angeles, California 

"This. Is. The. Life."  
Abigayl used what little energy she had left to lift her head up and look over at Jenna.   
She was laying sprawled out on the bed next to her in a pair of sweats and baggy t-shirt, a bag of celery sticks resting on her stomach.  
Matty was sleeping quietly in the bassinet next to the bed while they watched Orange is the New Black on the big screen.  
"Pass me one. You know eating celery isn't so healthy when you wash it down with a whole bottle of wine?"  
Jenna scoffed and handed her a stick just as the little icon showed up on the TV telling her that Jacky was calling. Pausing the movie, she answered the Skype call.  
"Well you two look like you're working hard." Jacky said with a smile. He was walking somewhere.  
"We've been doing yoga all morning. Taking a much needed wine break." Jenna andwered.  
"Ah, I don't know anything about yoga. I like yogurt though?"  
That made them both laugh.  
"We'll teach you when you get back. Get you all flexible." She answered.   
"I like that idea." Ronnie interjected, leaning into the picture. "Does that mean we're never getting rid of you Jen?"   
She shook her head, throwing a celery stick at the screen. "You wouldn't even if you could."  
"That's true. You're welcome to stay as long as you want but you can't steal my girlfriend."  
Jenna laughed. "You need to learn to share."  
"I think I do that enough with this one." He answered, motioning to Jacky. "Anyway, I'm heading inside. Talk to you guys later."  
Once he was gone Jacky set down on a parking pylon outside the venue.  
"Alright now that he's gone, Abigayl, you have to pull out of this stupid bet. I can't do this the whole rest of the tour."  
Abigayl held in a laugh. "Jacks, I'm sorry, but this was Ronnie's idea. Not mine. Talk to him about it."  
"I have! He said he wasn't going to give in. Why am I being punished just because you can't have sex? Do it with Jenna! I don't care. This just isn't fair."  
Okay now she was laughing.  
"Jacky I'm not stopping you or him. Find a way to persuade him. Just tell him I won't find out."   
Before he could reply, Matty let out a single wail that startled all three of them. He was awake now, probably due to hearing the boys, and more than likely hungry.  
"Jacks, call my cell. I'm gonna take him downstairs to the kitchen with me." She said, climbing out of bed and picking their son up.  
"Little one's got his daddy's lungs huh?" Jenna asked as she flipped back to her show.  
"Yes! And he's only just started this loud crap. Before it was just mumbling. We'll be back in a bit."  
Grabbing her phone, she and Matty headed downstairs. Setting him in his little seat, Aby made up a bottle and put it in the microwave before her phone started ringing.  
"I'm sorry about what I said about Jenna." Jacky said before she could even get a word out. "I'm just...antsy I guess. It's been two weeks and I'm going crazy. Ronnie has more self control than either of us gave him credit for and he keeps teasing me which makes it worse."  
Aby laughed as she tested the formula agaisnt her skin. "Jacks, tease him back. He can't hold on that long."  
"Yesterday I told him if he won't be with me I'd go to someone who would. He told me to just be back before bus call." He replied rather sardonically.   
"Then do it. You know, he told me about that dream the other night. You could use that to your advantage."  
Jacky scoffed. "You want me to use my ex to get my boyfriend to sleep with me? I don't think that's a good deal any way you look at it. Plus, it's cheating."  
Aby settled the phone between her ear and shoulder needing two hands to keep Matty from inadvertently whacking the bottle away from his mouth. Those tiny hands caused way more havoc than she would have expected.  
"It's not cheating if I'm giving you permission. And James told me last night that Ronnie is starting to get bitchy so it's probably best for him too. Just have your fun J. I'll only be angry I wasn't there to see it."  
Jacky was quiet for a moment but she could still hear him breathing.  
"Okay." He said finally. "I'm gonna try it later tonight. We have tomorrow off. Staying in the same hotel in Kansas City that we did that very first tour with you. Only this time Ronnie hasn't destroyed our room and I can have cheesecake delivered!"  
Aby couldn't help but smile and Matty watched her. It still caught her off guard sometimes to see those all too familiar brown eyes looking back at her from someone other than Ronnie.  
They talked for awhile longer and she put Jacky on speaker so he could talk to his son even though Matty was more interested in trying to chew on the phone.   
"Aby? Babe I gotta get going. Talk to you later tonight?" Jacky asked quickly.  
"Uh, I hope you're busy later. Wait, Jacky, real quick. Promise me something?"  
"Anything."  
Abigayl took a deep breath. "Promise me if this happens with you and Denis again that you'll come back to us? That you won't decide you want him more."  
"Nothing to worry about love. I promise. And I love you!" He said just before the line went dead.  
She sat up on the counter next to Matty's chair and smiled at his tiny finger wrapped around her own. She couldn't wait for the boys to get home and have actual time to spend as a family. No touring until the fall. They'd be recording but at least they'd be home."   
"We can wait two more weeks, can't we sweetie?" She said, leaning over to kiss his forehead.  
"What the ever living fuck Charlie?!"   
Abigayl jumped at the sound of Jenna's voice coming from the library before she stumbled into the kitchen.  
"That dog is going to be the death of me. Both of us don't fit on those stairs. You done talking to Jacky? What bet was he going on about?" She asked, heading for the fridge.   
"Oh, um before we left Vegas, Ronnie decided to bet me that it I could go without sex until they got back from tour than so could he. Apparently it's killing Jacky." She answered, giving her an over exaggerated eye roll.  
"Here." She said, handing Aby a bottle of water. "So, what was your solution?"  
"Something stupid. I think I may have made a horrible decision."

 

"He actually admitted to that?"  
Jacky nodded and stayed silent as Denis went through the bar in Asking's bus.  
"Huh, did you tell him it's just as hot as he dreamt it was?" He teased, handing him a bottle of Jager.   
"No, I did not. What do you think?"  
Denis shrugged. "I think I'm gonna need something harder than beer. What exactly are you wanting me to do?"  
"I just need him to catch us doing...something. Just kiss me."  
Before he could say anything else, Denis did just that, pressing him up agaisnt the wall. A rush of lightness, happiness ran through him a surge of guilt right on it's heels. He shouldn't be enjoying this. Shouldn't want it.  
"Like that?" He asked, pulling back a little.  
"Yeah, like that. Is Tori still okay with this?"  
Denis laughed and went back to his search. "Sometimes you're so dense JJ."  
"Excuse me?"   
"Ah ha! Goose. Love me some Goose."  
Jacky slapped the countertop beside him. "Denis! What the hell does that mean?"  
"Tori dumped me about two weeks after I moved in with you." He answered nonchalantly.   
"What? Why didn't you tell me?"   
"Because things would have changed. If we were both attatched already then we could just be two friends having a good time. Wouldn't have to deal with the relationship shit. I didn't want you to feel bad for me and start thinking about that 'something'."  
Before he could busy himself doing something else, he grabbed Denis's arm.   
"You could have given me a choice. We could have at least tried that something."  
He shook his head. "No, we couldn't have. You're where you should be. Text your boyfriend. I'll be your wingman."  
"You're sure?"  
"Yes, you idiot. If anyone can get you laid, it's me." He answered clapping him on the shoulder.

This wasn't going to work if Ronnie wouldn't show up.  
Jacky had text him. Told him he was on the bus and they needed to talk. He had agreed to come down. Said he'd be a few minutes, had a business related call to deal with first.   
"So, how long should we wait?"   
Jacky was asking himself the same thing as he tilted the bottle of Goose back. If he kept this up he was going to be too drunk to do anything anyway.   
"JJ give me that you light weight." Denis snarked, trying to grab the bottle from him.  
"Nah, I think I'll finish this myself."   
He took another long pull before the bottle was taken from his hand. All he could do was lay back on the bed. His bed.   
Their bed.  
This was a bad idea.  
"Hey, Jacks you okay?"   
Jacky half nodded and sat back up, grabbing the front of Denis's shirt and pulling him in for a kiss. Denis licked into his mouth, keeping them connected as he slid off the edge of the bed kneeling between Jacky's knees. His fingers made quick work of his belt and jeans and seconds later he pulled away from his lips and sunk down, taking him all the way to the back of his throat. Jacky doubled over him and held on as he worked him up and down knowing just what to do. He was so close but wanted more.   
"Stop...stop!" He said roughly.   
His friend gave him a confused look and Jacky leaned down to kiss him, tasting himself on those soft lips.   
"Not like this. Just...I need you. Please." He begged, cursing himself even as the words left his tongue.   
"You need me?" Denis smiled, moving up to kiss along his neck. "What do you want?"  
Jacky felt sweat break out over his skin and a shiver run down his spine almost like he had a fever. His vision blurred for a moment, his head spinning.   
"Just fuck me." He whispered, his voice sounding thunderous in his own ears.   
Honey brown eyes met his own and Denis put his hands on either side of his face before kissing his forehead.   
"No. JJ come here. Lay down."  
Jacky did as he was told and felt another shiver as arms wrapped around him. Pressing his face agaisnt Denis's shirt he squeezed his eyes shut in an effort to make the world stop doing flips. He was gonna be sick.  
"I'm a mess." He said, more to himself than anything.  
"Just tonight. I don't mind though." Denis replied, a laugh vibrating his chest.   
"You were right, you know? I still would have ended up back with Ronnie and Aby. Even if you had told me about Tori. Maybe that's my problem though. They're familiar. Safe. Maybe the best thing for me to do would be get away from them."  
"Why don't you make that decision when you're sober?"  
Jacky smiled to himself. "If I made that decision, would you still want me? Would you even want to try?"  
"Yeah. Yeah Jacky, I would."

 

"Where's Jacky? Haven't seen him all evening."  
Ronnie tried to ignore Ryan's questions but it only led to a shoe getting thrown at him.  
"He's busy. Don't worry about it. I'm gonna go for a walk. Gotta call Aby."  
Ryan narrowed his eyes on him. "Alright, whatever you say."  
Luckily he didn't run into anyone else as he left the hotel and started walking down towards the plaza. It was unusually warm for February. He remembered the last time he was here with Aby. He'd broken up with her here. Stupid.   
Pulling his phone out of his coat he dialed in her number.  
"Hey baby what's up?" She answered. Just the sound of her voice made him smile.   
"Walking down to the plaza. What are you doing? Matty doing okay?"  
"Yup. He's right here with us watching Avatar."   
"You're watching Avatar without me?"  
She laughed lightly into the phone. "I was missing you. Why are you out walking alone? Where's Jacky?"  
Ronnie took a deep breath, trying to pretend he didn't feel sick to his stomach. "Jacky's with Denis. Has been most of the evening. He text me that we needed to talk and I went down to the bus but he was um, busy. Abigayl be honest with me. If Jacky wasn't in the picture, like for certain this time, would you try the wedding thing again?"  
"Uh, I mean yeah, of course I would but I don't think we need to think about that. It's my fault Jacky is with him right now." She said reluctantly.   
"What do you mean? What did you do?"  
"He just wanted your attention Ronnie. He was trying to find a way to get you to let go of this stupid bet. He said you told him to go to someone else. I thought maybe seeing the two of them together would be enough to make you go to him."  
Ronnie scoffed at that. "Well that backfired. Aby I wish you could of seen how they looked at one another. He looks at Denis like I look at you. This wasn't just some fling. Jacky loves him and I think it's time we let him go. I'm not going to do this over and over."  
Aby sighed. "I actually agree with you. He was far too eager for this to happen. And better it happen now than when Matty's older. Will you talk to him then?"  
"Yeah, I will. I'll figure this out. But I am going to actually talk to him. I need to know what's going on in that head of his. I have to be completely sure before I let him go Aby. I'm sorry."  
"You have no reason to be sorry. Sweetie, I love him too. It will kill me to let him go but I have more than me to think about. I will deal with whatever you decide. I love you. And I know you'll make the right decision."  
He hoped like hell she was right.  
"I'll do my best. You should go to bed soon. It's like what, one there already? I'm sorry I called so late."  
"I sleep when Matty sleeps. Don't worry about me. I will always answer when you call. But you should do the same or the sun's going to come up on you." She replied.  
"Yes ma'am. I'll head back soon. Have a good night Aby."  
"You too love."  
Ronnie rubbed the center of his chest, feeling like he'd been shot. Could he actually go through with it? Let Jacky go? It was the right thing to do. He knew that but he was selfish enough not to let it happen too.  
"Ronnie?"  
His heart just about jumped out of his chest as he turned towards the sound of Jacky's voice. He was standing a ways back from him, hood up, hands pulled up in his sleeves.  
"Jesus Jacks, you scared the hell out of me. What are you doing out here?"  
"I saw you leaving the hotel from the elevator. I need to talk to you." He answered but wouldn't look up or come any closer.  
"Okay, let's talk then." He said quietly, taking a few steps towards him.  
Jacky didn't move. Didn't speak. Something was wrong.  
Closing the space between them, he slipped his hand into the hood of his jacket on to his cheek. His skin was on fire.   
Worry overroad everything else and he forced Jacky's head up to look at him. His eyes were dull and it looked like he hadn't slept in days. His cheeks were flushed but the rest of his skin pale. There was no question as to whether he had a fever or not.   
"Jacky? Hey, stay with me." He said sternly as his friend's eyes fell shut.  
Wrapping one arm around his waist, Ronnie guided him to a bench in front of some old hotel and dialed 911.

A ton of words he didn't really understand we're thrown around in the back of the ambulance on the way to the hospital but Ronnie couldn't focus on anything other than the pallor tint of Jacky's skin. They'd started an IV. The EMT said he was dehydrated. What the hell had happened?   
Once they got to the hospital he was forced into a waiting room and flashbacks of the waiting to see J after his wreck ran through his head. Trying not to dwell on that he called Abigayl back.   
"Did I wake you up?" He asked as she answered with a yawn.   
"No, I just kind of nodded off. What's wrong? You're upset about something."  
"How do you even know that from five words?"  
Abigayl scoffed. "I know you. Now talk."  
"I'm at the hospital. Jacky caught up with me right after I got off the phone with you. He uh, he looked sick. Like horrible. I have no idea what's going on. We just got here."  
He heard a quick intake of breath then silence for what seemed like forever.   
"You um, you'll tell me when they find something out?" She said finally.   
"Of course I will. As soon as I know something."  
"Thank you. Okay, I'll keep the phone on."  
She hung up and he was alone again. Pacing. Back to pacing.   
Thirty minutes went by before someone finally came back to him. A Doctor Regan.   
"You came in with the young man from the plaza yes?"  
"Yes. His name is Jacky. Vincent. Is he, is he gonna be okay? What happened? Can I see him?"   
The doctor put his hands up in font of him. "Yes, he will be fine. We're you with him earlier today? Your friend is suffering from alcohol poisoning. Do you know what he's been drinking?"  
Alcohol poisoning?   
"No, I haven't been with him since we got into town. We just got in around seven this morning. But he doesn't normally drink at all."  
Dr. Regan gave him a curious look. "That might explain why this set in then. Not eating, drinking none of that helps. We're pushing the alcohol through to get his blood levels back to normal. We've inserted a breathing tube to keep his breathing steady. We'll keep an eye on him through the day and hopefully we can release him later this evening. You can go in and see him."  
Ronnie stayed quiet as he followed the doctor down a few hallways to Jacky's room. Once he was inside all he could do was stand there like an idiot. Jacky had all kinds of machines hooked up to him but that tube pumping air into his lungs was the most terrifying part. His color was still incredibly off too. He looked so...fragile.   
Quietly, though he wasn't sure who he was trying not to disturb, Ronnie dragged a chair over to the side of the bed.   
"What in the hell did you do Jacks? I saw you, just a few hours ago and you looked perfectly fine. Better than fine actually, And you haven't drank more than a couple beers since we came back from New Orleans. So what happened?" He asked, threading his fingers through Jacky's.   
Wait. There was one person that would know.  
Digging in his coat he grabbed his phone to text Denis.

R: You need to get a cab to St. Lukes hospital. Jacky's here. The doctors need to know what he's been doing and you've been with him all day.   
D: Is he okay? Last I knew he was headed back up to the rooms to talk to you. You gonna take my head off?  
R: This isn't about me and you right now. It's about him. Please just come.  
D: I'll find you.

Half an hour later a knock on the door pulled him out a haze he'd drifted into. Jacky was still asleep. The doctor had told him it'd be awhile before he woke up.   
Instead of letting him in, Ronnie stepped out into the hallway.   
"What happened?"   
"I could ask you the same thing." Ronnie smarted back. Really he didn't have the right to be mad. How Jacky felt wasn't Denis's fault. But that didn't make it hurt any less.   
"Alcohol poisoning. That's what the doctor told me. But Jacky doesn't drink enough to get a cat drunk."  
Denis looked down at his shoes. "He did today. Earlier, we um, well I guess we were waiting for you. I don't really know what was going on. It was J's idea. He drank almost a whole bottle of this vodka that James gets sent over from back in England. I thought it was Goose until I took it from him. That shit is like pure alcohol and he downed the whole thing. We talked awhile and he said he didn't feel good and wanted to go to bed. I asked if he wanted me to go with him, just to make sure he made it upstairs and he said no, that he needed to talk to you first."  
"What did he want to talk to me about?"  
Denis shook his head. "Honestly Ronnie I don't have a clue. He didn't say."  
Ronnie raised his hand to press the heel of his palm against his chest and noticed the younger man actually flinched.  
"What was that for? I'm not gonna hit you." He said, finding it more amusing than he should have.  
"Sooner or later I'm gonna get punched in the face. I ain't stupid. I know you came down to the bus earlier. I know you saw us. Just get it over with."  
He just shook his head. "Nothing's doing Denis. I don't want to hit you. Yeah, I know he was with you. I know he wants to be, and I'm done being selfish. Jacky and I have known each other for awhile now, we've been through a hell of a lot but familiarity shouldn't be the reason why we stay together. He wants you. I'm gonna let him have you, or at least have the option. He needs to get away from Abigayl and I. We're safe. He knows he can always come back to us. Jacky needs to move on. Will you stay here with him? He'll be happy to see you when he wakes up."  
Denis looked like someone had just slapped him across the face.  
"Are you sure? Maybe you should wait until he wakes up to decide this. Remember he said he wanted to talk to you?"  
"Yeah, and that's probably what he wanted to talk about. Now he doesn't have to. Just, let me know he's okay when he comes to yeah?"  
"Okay. I can do that." Denis replied, holding out his hand. "And thank you."  
Ronnie shook his hand and moved aside so he could go into Jacky's room before taking a deep breath and heading for the exit.  
There was no way he'd be sleeping tonight. Not with a gaping hole where his heart should have been.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 2.32

February 26th  
Baltimore, Maryland

 

"So let me get this straight. You basically broke up with Jacky then? Have you actually talked to him since he got out of the hospital? Did he stay with Denis?"  
Ronnie laid the seat back in Courtney's tiny Cabriolet even though she'd just told him not too. She glared at him out of the corner of her eye but didn't say anything.   
"I don't ask questions if I don't expect an answer." She stated flatly.   
"Do we have to talk about this right now?" He asked, putting his arms over his eyes.   
"Yes. I want to know what happened."  
"Jacky loves him. I don't think he would have chose Denis over us simply because he didn't think I could handle it. Honestly, I'm not dealing well. It's been less than two weeks and I miss him like hell but it'll get easier. He and I haven't talked. We don't really need too. Yes, he's with Denis. They're getting along just fine as far as I know. Okay, does that suffice?"  
Courtney rolled her eyes at him. "I think you should at least talk to him. Maybe given him a choice in all this?"  
"If I had done that he would have just picked me again. I had to make the choice for him. But seriously you can't honestly tell me that you're upset about Jacky not being with me. You flat out told Abigayl that you thought he would be better off away from me. So what's with the twenty questions? I didn't come with you to be grilled about my personal relationships."  
Courtney scoffed at that. "Boy you're about to get slapped again. It's true. I did tell her that. I thought Jacky was with you because of what happened with Ash and I. He's timid. I figured he'd be leary of looking for someone again. So he stuck with you and Aby. I didn't know how much he actually cared. So I was wrong okay? I'll admit it. I'll admit I think you made a huge mistake too. But you're right, it's not my business."  
He rubbed his hands over his face. "Finally. Thank you."  
"Why are you in my car? You fly home day after tomorrow. Why not just stay at the hotel with the other bands?"  
"Because I just needed to get away. You said your house was empty for the weekend. Figured you'd just ignore me while I'm there anyway. Aby said you started dating again?" He teased, poking at her arm.   
"I did not start dating. I'm seeing someone yes. A surgeon actually. Decided to give a non band related guy a chance. Shane. I quite like him. Going on three months now. If you decide to stick around the house tomorrow you might get to meet him. And despite what you think, I do not hate you. I'm letting you stay with me. That's gotta tell you something."  
Ronnie shrugged. "Maybe so. I think I'd like to meet your surgeon. Plus Aby will want to know everything about him. I'm so ready to get home. I can't wait to see Matty. He'll be three months old in a couple weeks. You should see him Court. He's the most amazing, most important thing I've ever done in my life. He makes me want to stop all this. I could stay home. Write. Produce. I can make a living not touring."  
Courtney shook her head. "I don't think so. Performing is who you are. I think not being in the spotlight would slowly kill you. You'd grow to resent that family you love so much. Abigayl knows that. Matty will understand it too. As much as I'd be okay with never hearing your weird ass voice again, the show must go on."  
"Aww Courtney, you love me and you know it."  
"You need to have your head examined. I'll schedule a CT scan." She said seriously. 

"You can sleep down here. Sofa pulls out. Ashley used to sleep down here when they'd come through." Courtney said. She was uncharacteristically fidgeting with the zipper on her jacket.   
"Do you miss him?" Ronnie asked, taking the cushions off the couch.   
She nodded slowly. "I do. It's been years and I still miss him. I wish that I had fought harder for him. But too little too late. Anyway, I’ll see you in the morning. Try to get some sleep.”  
“Court, wait. Why don’t you fight for him now?”  
“No point to it. He’s happy, and that’s all I want.”  
Ronnie scoffed. “That’s shit. You know it. I know it. Ashley isn’t happy. Hasn’t been for a while now. He and Jeff don’t even live together anymore. Hardly anyone knows. When they are together they fight. Ash won’t tell me what happened but he says it’s unfixable. So why don’t you go help him?”  
“He never said anything to me. I didn’t have a clue. I don’t know. I’m in a good relationship now. It’s stable.”  
“Stable is boring. Why in the hell would you want that?” He asked.  
Courtney actually laughed. “You’re right. I hate even saying those words, but you are right. That being said, don’t you think maybe you should fight a little harder too? You’re going to end up the same as I am. The only difference is you have Aby and your son. But you’ll always be missing that part too.” She said before heading back upstairs.  
He believed Courtney should go after Ashley. She deserved someone to treat her good. His situation with Jacky was different. Jacky WAS happy. And he wasn’t going to ruin that. Ever.

Morning. Bleh.   
Ronnie stretched his arms over his head and looked around the dark basement, trying to get his eyes to work. He must have only slept a few hours.   
Rolling on to his side, he grabbed his phone off the bedside table.   
11 A.M.  
What the hell? He NEVER slept that long.  
Why had Courtney even let him sleep that long?  
Rubbing his eyes Ronnie dragged on a pair of jeans and headed into the bathroom. Sometimes brushing your teeth felt like the best thing in the world. Once he was more awake he took the stairs two at a time. He could hear Courtney talking on the phone to someone in her bedroom, probably her mother. Not wanting to bother her, he went in to the kitchen. A man sat at the table there. Court’s age, with dark hair and intelligent grey eyes. He wore black slacks and a dark green button up shirt. Definitely looked like a doctor, but not Courtney’s type. No, she belonged with Ash.  
“Um, hi?”  
Courtney’s surgeon looked him up and down and narrowed his eyes. “And who exactly are you? How did you get into this house?”  
Ronnie crossed his arms over his chest and regretted not actually getting dressed. He didn’t think anyone but Court would be here.  
“My name’s Ronnie. I’m a friend of Courtney’s. She’s letting me stay the night here until my flight tomorrow morning. You must be Shane. She told me about you last night."  
Shane nodded. "Yes. That would be me. Excuse me for a moment." He said, standing and taking his leave down the hallway.   
Well fuck. What did he do this time?   
Grabbing a glass from the cabinet, he opened the fridge. "Orange juice. Courtney, I love you. Ah hell."   
His phone blared out Welcome to Detroit letting him know Abigayl was calling on Skype.   
"You've been there a whole what, twelve hours and Court's already got your clothes off. Perfect." She answered.  
Ronnie couldn't stop the smile on his face. Aby had her hair all wrapped up on top of her head, pale green paint smeared across her cheek. She was smiling and that made whatever they were doing perfectly okay with him.   
"Baby, what are you painting?" He asked as Jenna came up behind her, wrapping her arms around Aby's waist and resting her chin on her shoulder. She was equally covered in paint.   
"Hey Ronnie. You ready to come home?"   
"You have no idea. But what are you two doing?"  
"Repainting the nursery. We've been painting everything!"  
Abigayl laughed and clapped her hands together. They were definitely quite a sight.   
"What are the two of you doing to my house?" Ronnie asked, trying his best to sound annoyed though he was just happy Abigayl wasn't sitting at home missing them, or him as it were.   
"Well, we just finished the nursery. Our bedroom is light gray now with pink curtains. Um Jenna's room is sky blue. She let me paint clouds on some of-"  
"Wait. Jenna's room?"  
Aby frowned. "Duh, if she's gonna hang out here she should have a room! Oh, sweets I hope you don't mind. I just, it's nice to have someone here when youre not. I bought you something too. It's out in the backyard."  
She was so excited it was hard to be angry with her.   
"I'm not mad Aby. As long as both of you are okay with it. I'm a little scared to see my house. But I do like surprises."  
"I'm gonna leave you two alone now." Jenna said quickly. "Peace out bitches!"  
Abigayl shook her head as she watched Jenna leave. "I love her." She said. "I'm so happy you're coming home. I miss you so much."  
"I miss you too sweetheart. I'm ready to be home with you and Matty. I gotta admit though it feels weird knowing Jacky won't be coming with me."  
The smile fell from Aby's face and she sat down against the second floor railing. "I know. I'm trying not to dwell on it. Have you talked to him?"  
He shook his head. "No, he hasn't really been around except when we go on stage. He's even been staying on Asking's bus."  
"I'm sorry Ronnie. I wish I could make things better."  
"I know you do. Coming home will help. Uh, hold on. Courtney and her new boyfriend are coming to lecture me. I'll call you a little later."  
"Okay. I'll see if I can wake up Matty so you can talk to him." She replied.   
"That would be great. Love you." He said, giving her a little wave before signing off.   
"Ronnie? Downstairs. Now." Courtney demanded as she and Shane walked into the kitchen.   
He probably would have rolled his eyes and made some smart remark except the look on her face said he should behave. She followed him back down to the basement, shutting the door behind them.   
"I didn't do anything Court. I said hi, and told him I was your friend. I didn't know he was up there." He said, sitting down on the edge of the bed.   
"I know. Shane told me. I think he was just worried about me."   
Ronnie frowned. "Okay, then why did I have to come down here?"  
"Because I didn't sleep worth a shit last night. I kept thinking about what you said about Ashley. I’ll never be able to forgive myself if I don’t try to get him back. If you think it’s actually worth a try then I will take my chances. But be honest with me. Please.”  
“Courtney I wouldn’t have told you what was going on if I didn’t think that you should go after him. Why don’t you….why don’t you come with me? Tonight. Let’s just get on a plane and go to LA. You’ve got a few days off, I heard you telling Ryan earlier. So instead of going wherever you had planned with Mr. I Have a Real Job in there come with me and we’ll go find your rockstar. What do you say?”  
Court tilted her head back and stared at the ceiling. For once she didn’t have some snotty remark.  
“Alright. I’m not one to jump into something without a plan. You know that. The ‘do now, think later’ is more your thing. So come on, take me on this rollercoaster. Just, let me go tell Shane first. Put some clothes on and come up stairs.”  
Ronnie couldn’t even get a word out before she disappeared up the stairs again. Where the hell had he just laid his phone?

R: I’m heading back to LA tonight. Everybody good there?  
Ryan: Yep. Just resting up before heading home tomorrow. Hug that baby for me.  
R: Will do. Thanks Ry.

Throwing on a hoodie, Ronnie grabbed his bag and headed back up to the kitchen. Courtney was making…motherfucking pancakes!  
"I can feel you breathing over my shoulder, here. Now sit down. Keep me from saying something stupid." She said, handing him a piece of bacon.   
Shane gave him a fake smile as he sat down across from him.   
"So, Shane I have some bad news. I know we planned on going to the house in Virginia for a few days but I'm afraid I'm going to have to cancel. A friend of mine in LA is dealing with something and I feel like I should be there to help." Courtney explained, setting plates of food out on the table.   
"All the way in California? You've never mentioned a friend out there before." Shane replied cynically.  
"I didn't know Ashley was having problems until very recently."  
"She a good friend then?"  
Ronnie had to keep his head down so Shane couldn't see him holding in a laugh. Court nudged his foot.   
"Yes. A very good friend. I need to be there."  
Shane just stared at her for a moment before shrugging and reaching across the table to pat her hand. "If it's important to you then I'll go to Virginia myself. You go take care of your friend."  
He watched as her shoulders relaxed a little. "Thank you. Thank you for not fighting me."

By six in the evening he and Court were on a flight back to LA. He was honestly happy to get out of the house. Just Courtney would have been fine but Shane definitely did not like his being there. And he could tell the surgeon wasn't too pleased with his girlfriend's choice in friends. Which was ridiculous. He was more Court's type than this man was. So as much as he hated flying, Ronnie was happy to be on the way home. She was nervous so he kept trying to make her talk. It may not have been much help but Ronnie felt like he needed to do something.   
"So, Abigayl and Jenna are painting my house. I've been told there is now pink curtains in my bedroom. Can you imagine? Aby is turning me into a pansy."  
That Courtney actually laughed at. "You are kind of a pansy Ronnie. You think you're such a badass. I think given the right situation you could be but for the most part your hearts too big to let you be."  
"Don't tell anyone."  
"I won't. Jenna is at your house? She's been there since Abigayl went home? How do you feel about that?" She asked.  
"Why does everyone keep asking me that? I don't care. She and Aby get along really good. I'm glad she has someone to keep her company. So what if she hangs around? I do have some self control Court. I know the difference between girlfriend and EX girlfriend."  
She scoffed. "The summber, right before you met Abigayl, do you even remember any of those girl's names you took on your bus at Warped?"  
Ronnie shook his head. "Most of them were just named 'Over Eighteen'."  
"And that's self control? How many of them Ronnie? How many were there?"  
"A hundred? I don't know. What's your point?"  
"It's just an example of how little self control you actually have when something is paraded in front of your face. I don't think you should let her stay in your house. That's all."  
"I can handle it Courtney. Besides. she won't be around much after the months over. She travels a lot."  
She shrugged. "I hope you're right. Did you text Aby and let her know you're coming home early?"  
"Nope. I wanna surprise her." He answered, flipping the air conditioning vent open.  
"You're gonna go home to find your girlfriend in bed with your ex." She teased.  
"Alright, that's enough talking."  
Courtney smirked at him before leaning back in her seat.  
"Wait, did you call Ash?"  
She nodded. "I did. I'm going to meet hiim at the airport. He wasnted to pick me up. Said we could drop you off at the house if you didn't want to take a cab."  
"I'll take you up on that."

Charlie met him in the main hall just as he was locking the front door behind him. Luckily he didn't decide to start barking his head off.  
"Hey buddy, it's good to see you too." He said, patting the black Pit Bull on the head.  
The house was dark and quiet. Part of him wished everyone had been awake but it was after midnight.  
Leaving his bags downstairs, Ronnie hurried upstairs. Figuring the nursery walls were still drying he stopped on the second floor and checked the room next to Rosa's. Sure enough, they'd moved Matty there.  
As quietly as possible, he walked over to the crib. Abigayl had laid his little bed inside the crib and Matty was sleeping peacefully in it. He wanted so badly to pick him up, to hold him. But he'd learned with Alessa not to wake up a sleeping baby. Very lightly, he touched his hand to Matty's back. God he was so tiny.  
"I'll see you in the morning little one. I'm gonna go find your mommy."  
Reluctantly, he left the room and took the stairs to the third floor.  
What do you know, Courtney had been right, his girlfriend and ex were in the same bed together. Just not the way she had predicted. Aby and Jenna were curled up on opposite sides of the bed, the two woman making it look huge. Abigayl was laying on her back, one arm resting on her stomach, the other hanging off the edge. She looked beautiful framed in the moonlight coming in through the balcony doors. She'd dyed her hair again, in fact both girls now had the same grayish lavender hair. He was never going to get them apart was he?  
Gently he lifted her hand back on to the bed and sat down beside her.  
"Aby? Abigayl wake up. Come on baby wake up." He whispered, gently shaking her shoulder.  
She woke up slowly, rubbing the heels of her palms into her eyes. Once she finally opened them she bit down on her lip, a small cry escaping before she could stop it. She reached out slowly, putting her hand against her shoulder. The second she made solid contact tears started falling and in the next instant she had her arms wrapped around his neck.  
"You're really here. You're here. You're home. I...I've missed you so much." She whispered agaisnt his throat.   
"Yeah sweetheart I'm here. It's okay. I got you."   
This was the longest they had been apart other than the times they were actually broken up. Abigayl had never said a word. She'd never complained, never whined that she wanted him to come home. She'd held it all inside and now it was flooding out and all he could do was hold her.  
"Can you uh, um, come with me a minute?" She asked when she finally pulled away.   
"Aby we can talk in the morning. You should-"   
She cut him off with a kiss and his head swam, forgetting how good she tasted.   
"I don't want to talk. Just, come with me." She repeated, grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the bedroom. Aby didn't let go until they stood in front of one of the giant white leather chairs in the upstairs living room. Without warning she pushed him backwards into the chair, crawling up on to his lap.   
He wanted her. That wasn’t the problem. That would never be the problem. The fucking problem was bright green and hanging on the wall at the other end of the room.  
“Babe? You okay?” Abigayl asked, worry making her frown.  
Ronnie shook his head, pulling his eyes from the guitar. “I’m sorry Aby.”  
She looked away then back down at her hands. “I’m not enough, am I? Without Jacky…I’m just not enough to fill the hole he left.”  
“No, that’s not true. Not in anyway. I just have to get passed it. I promise, things will be okay.”  
Aby nodded and laid her head down on his shoulder. “Do you want to come back to bed with me?”  
Ronnie shook his head, letting his hands slowly skim up her thighs and under the long t-shirt she wore.  
“What are you doing?” She asked, barely more than a whisper.  
“Feeling.”  
Abigayl let out a light laugh as he pulled her shirt off, but said nothing as he committed her to memory. Every curve, every silken inch of her skin. Closing his eyes, Ronnie pressed his lips to her shoulder, inhaling her scent. Something was different.  
“You smell different.” He said stupidly.  
She rolled her eyes at him. “Way to ruin the mood. It’s lotion. Apricot.”  
“Mmm, I fucking love apricots…” He replied, kissing a path down between her breasts.  
“Whoa, what’s this?” Ronnie asked, running his fingertips over the top of a tattoo covering her lower abdomen. The shorts she wore covered the rest.  
Aby bit her lip ring, and looked away from him. “Um, it’s uh. I got a new tattoo while you were gone.”  
“That’s apparent. Let me see it. Come on, stand up a second.”  
Reluctantly she climbed off the couch and reached for her shirt.  
Before she could put it back on he grabbed it from her hands.  
“Ronnie, give it back. Don’t be a jerk.”  
“Abigayl stop. It’s not like I’ve never seen you naked before. Please, just stand up a minute. Let me look at you.”  
She took a deep breath and stood up, putting her arms around herself. This was just like the very first night they were together all over again. Why was she being so self-conscious again? Maybe she actually did think she looked different after having Matty. She was insane.  
Gently he hooked his fingers in the waistband of her shorts and slowly slid them down those mile long legs until they hit the soft carpet. The tattoo covered her skin between her hipbones. It was done in almost exactly the same scrollwork as his Royalty tattoo. It was beautiful and read ‘Royante’.  
“Is that French? What does it say?” He asked, letting his fingertips wander over the ink.  
“It says…it’s French for royalty.”  
“For…? Holy fuck! That’s um, it’s-“  
“Stupid. I know.”  
He scoffed. “Fucking sexy as hell. I love this. Did you go to Lou to get it done? It’s perfect.”  
She smiled then, her arms dropping, hands on his shoulders. “Yeah, I asked around to find out where you got yours done. You like it?”  
“I love it. But you know what I love even more?”  
Aby narrowed her eyes on him. “Stop looking at me like that. What are you doing?”  
Without answering, Ronnie leaned forward, running his tongue along the edge of the tattoo. Her muscles flexed under his touch and her fingers dug into his hair.  
“Oh my- Ronnie that freaking tickles.”  
“You’re telling me. Little payback.” He teased, standing up in front of her. Running his hands down her back, he lifted her up and sat her back on the white leather. Abigayl closed her eyes, leaning back into the couch, one leg bent up against the arm. Dropping to his knees in front of her, Ronnie willed himself to stay in control when all he wanted to do was get inside her. She looked beyond gorgeous like that with her long lavender hair falling in waves over her shoulders.   
"I have the hottest girlfriend on the planet." He mused.  
"What was that?"  
"Nothing. You okay?"  
She kind of shrugged. "I'm not exactly a fan of not wearing clothes with the lights on. Not an exhibitionist like you are."   
"Stay here."   
Leaving her there he walked over and switched off the lights, plunging the room into darkness. Only the moonlight from the front window show into the room.  
“Better?” He asked once he was back in front of her.  
“Except that I can’t really see you well, yes.”  
“Good.”  
Lifting her foot, Ronnie kissed along the skin of ankle, encouraged by the little whimpering noises she started making. By the time he reached her inner thigh, Abigayl was reaching for him but she wasn’t getting what she wanted. Biting into that sensitive skin, he slipped one finger into her and her hips rocked off the couch.  
“Aby, baby you’ve got to relax.”  
She nodded but her body wasn’t responding. Leaning back up he let her pull him in for a kiss. Abigayl ground her hips against his hand as she licked into his mouth. He felt her muscles tighten just before Aby threw her head back and cried out as she came. When she finally lifted her head again, she wrapped her arms around his neck.  
“Needed you.” She whispered against his ear.  
“I know. I needed you too.”  
Holding her against him, Ronnie laid down with her. Abigayl reached up and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch before cuddling into him.  
“I love you Aby.”  
She patted his chest and nuzzled into his throat. “I love you too.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 2.33

March 17th  
Las Vegas, Nevada 

 

“Why are you all sweaty?”  
Jacky ignored the question for the moment and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Denis stood just inside the kitchen looking like he just woke up. Then again, that’s kind of how he always looked.  
“Didn’t take a shower before I came home from the gym. You know, that place I go when you’re still in bed?” He teased.  
“I exercised this morning too, you know.” He replied.  
Jacky rolled his eyes. “Walking to the kitchen for a beer doesn’t count.”  
“That’s just harsh. I brushed my teeth and everything before the beer!”  
“Now that, I am proud of you for. You gonna come take that shower with me?”  
Denis shook his head, dark brown hair flopping around. “I have to finish packing first.”  
Packing?  
“Where are you going?”  
Denis frowned at him. “JJ, it’s the 17th. I’m leaving for LA tonight. We leave for tour tomorrow night. Don’t you remember?”  
“Oh, that’s right.” He answered, scrubbing his hands over his face. “I don’t know how I forgot that. I thought it was next week. I’m sorry.”  
“All good mate. Hey, you’re supposed to go to LA in a couple days yeah?”  
Jacky nodded. “To start recording. Why?”  
“Come with me today. I got an invitation to this party, place called Trance? I’d like to take you.”  
Why did that name sound so fa-  
“Trance! David’s club.” He said, clapping his hands together.  
“You’ve been there then?”  
Jacky nodded. “Abigayl loves that club. It’s an interesting place. Ronnie took me there a few times.”  
“Oh.” Denis replied, the excitement leaving his expression. “You probably don’t want to go then do you?”  
“Actually, I would love too. But, what’s so special about today? I mean why is David throwing a party today?”  
“It’s St. Patrick's Day Jacks. Everyone’s throwing parties. I’ve never been in America for it before. Thought you could help me celebrate it.”  
“You’re gonna take me on a date for St. Patrick’s Day?” Jacky teased, nudging his shoulder.  
Denis laughed. “Don’t expect any presents though. Chocolate maybe. Go take a shower. I gotta finish packing.”

It was a little after seven when they finally made it to LA. The rest of Asking, minus James who wasn’t flying in until the morning, met them at the airport.  
“There’s my Baby Bird!” Ben yelled as they walked out of the gate. The two almost ended up on the ground as Ben tackle hugged Denis.  
“Hey, don’t break my boyfriend!” Jacky yelled, only to get hit with the same bulldozing hug.  
“Ben get off him! This is why people don’t want to hang out with us.” Sam said, shaking his head.  
“Whatever. I’m a joy to be around. Come on, come on. We’ve got a party to go to.” Ben replied. “And no, I have not been drinkin’, yet.”  
On the drive to the hotel where they were staying Jacky sat back and stayed quiet. Not like you could get a word in with these guys anyway, but he enjoyed listening to them. They were excited about this tour. Then again, who wouldn’t be excited about opening for In This Moment? Hell, Jacky was excited just to see it. He’d seen ITM play at Rock on the Range and been stunned. Not very many women in rock could command a stage like Maria could. But then their lead guitarist, Chris, had come and told him he’d bought Jacky’s solo album and he’d just about passed out. Man, he wished he could have a stage presence like Chris did. He just wasn’t entertaining. Boring. Even off stage. Ha, maybe hanging with Asking more, they’d rub off on him.  
“Jacky!”  
The sound of Cam’s voice snapped him back into reality.  
“What?”  
“Nothing. You just were way spaced out. Who you thinking about? Hmm?”  
Jacky shoved his arms off the back of the bench seat. “Fuck off Cameron.”  
“Oooh he does speak. Not so innocent after all huh?”  
“It’s pretty obvious he was thinking about me.” Denis tried to say seriously, turning around in the front seat.  
Jacky gave him a confused look. “Wait, do I know you?”  
“Very funny. I have a question though, Ben, you’ve got a Mercedes sitting in your driveway. Why do you still own this old van? Kind of rapey isn’t it?”  
Ben faked hurt. “Take that back now New Guy! We all fit in here. Plus, you can’t get this kind of smell of nostalgia in an air freshener.”  
Denis stuck his tongue out and sneered at him. “That’s not nostalgia Ben. It’s old socks and…and drunken orgies.”  
“Like I said, nostalgia.” Ben reiterated, a stupid grin on his face.  
“Well, if we’re playing twenty questions to Ben, I have one.” Sam spoke up from beside him.  
“I don’t think I like this game.” Ben whined from the driver’s seat.  
“No, but really, serious question. You’re always poking fun and calling people gay. Hell, you do it to yourself. How come you never pick on Denis and Jacky?”  
“He calls us his favorite twinkies.” Denis stated.  
“Yes, but that’s out of love.” Ben countered.  
“He never picked on me or Ronnie neither.” Jacky interjected.  
“That.” Ben started. “Is because I don’t fancy getting my ass kicked. I don’t know. It’s just different. Like I wouldn’t want someone making fun of me and Samantha. Fake stuff I make fun of. I wouldn’t do it to you guys. I like you too much.”

“What are we supposed to wear to this party thing D?”  
Denis shrugged, dumping the contents of his suit case on the floor. That was one way to find something.  
“The email said something you don’t mind getting ruined? Don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.”  
“Means I’m going naked!!” Ben yelled from the next room over.  
“That’s terrifying…Aha! I knew it was in here somewhere.” He said, pulling a long white cut off over his head. The front read ‘Fuck Happens’.  
As he started throwing things back into the case, something caught Jacky’s eye. Avoiding the flying clothes, he pulled the black tank out. It was his favorite X Japan shirt.  
“This is mine!”  
“Yeah, I know, you left it on the sofa. I thought you’d want it so I packed it.” Denis said nonchalantly.  
Jacky scoffed. “You’re a horrible liar Denis.”  
He just grinned back at him. “Yeah, buuuut you won’t be mad at me.”  
“Why do you say that?”  
He held his ground as Denis stepped towards him. Most of the time the three or four inches in height difference between them didn’t really matter but this close he had to look up at him and that ticked him off.  
“Because.” He started, leaning down to whisper in his ear. “You can’t. You love me too much.”  
“You want to take it with you?” Jacky asked quietly.  
“Mhm. I do.”  
Jacky felt a shiver go down his spine as warm breath blew against his skin, then teeth grazed along his jaw. “It’s all yours then, love.”  
“Well, well. Look what the twinkies are up to. Denis if you were hungry we could have ordered pizza. We’re leaving soon.” Ben said, leaning against the door frame. “Chew on your boyfriend later, and maybe I’ll take a bite too.”  
Jacky didn’t mind Ben’s teasing. He knew it was just a joke. Denis on the other hand didn’t seem to understand. He lifted his head and pegged the older man with a glare that probably should have set him on fire.  
“Denis why ar-“  
“If you touch him Ben, it will be the last thing you ever touch. Got it?”  
Ben glanced at him and Jacky gave him a look warning him not to joke this time.  
“Yeah, of course. Got it. No worries mate. Just a joke.” He replied, putting his hands up in front of him.  
“Good, keep it that way.”  
With that, he picked up the rest of his clothes and went into the other room of the suite.  
“What the fuck was that then?”  
Ben shook his head. “Haven’t a clue. Ever since he got here I’ve never even heard him raise his voice, not in anger. That was new to me.”  
“Yeah, me too.”  
“I think he definitely likes you though Jacky.”  
“That’s not funny Ben. The couple weeks we were apart did he say anything? Act any different?” He asked.  
‘He was quieter. Kept to himself a little more at first. He wasn’t plotting Aby and Ronnie’s deaths if that’s what you’re asking. Come on J.”  
“You’re right. I’m overthinking. I’m gonna go talk to him.”  
Leaving Ben, he went into the other room and looked around. No Denis.  
“He’s in the shower Jacky. Other room.” Cameron answered before the question even left his lips.  
Across the hall the other suite was dark but he could hear water running. The bathroom and glass shower were completely filled with steam. Why’d he always take such hot showers?  
“Denis? Can I come in?” He asked, feeling the steam try to crawl down his throat.  
“Uh, yeah I guess.” He replied.  
Though he’d already had a shower that morning, he stripped out of his clothes and slid the glass door open just enough to squeeze inside.  
“I hate hotel soap.” He said, glaring at the little blue bar.  
“No!” Denis said excitedly. “You gotta use this stuff. Aby took me and Cam to the mall around Halloween, when I visited right before the big party at Circus Circus remember? Anyway, we went to this store, can’t remember the name of it. Girly place. Abigayl bought everything that smelled like pumpkin. But we got this soap and it’s like, super bubbly!”  
“Oh my god. Denis say bubbly again!”  
“Bubbly?”  
Jacky couldn’t help the laughter that rippled through him, didn’t even try, and Denis looked at him like he was crazy.  
Before he could pull himself together he ended up with a face full of ‘super bubbly soap’.  
Denis laughed, clapping his hands together. “That’s for making fun of my words again!”  
That sent off another round of laughter.  
“I’m sorry Denis. It just, in any accent that word is hilarious. Let me see that stuff.”  
Rather reluctantly he handed him the bright orange bottle. Jacky squeezed some of the glittery gel into his palm and set the bottle on the ground. Rubbing his hands together, the soap bubbled up just like it had for Denis.  
“It smells good. Like chocolate.”  
“That’s why I got it. I love chocolate.” Denis replied, taking a hold of his hands and putting them on his shoulders. Jacky rubbed the soap over his skin, across his shoulders and down his chest. He flinched away as Jacky skimmed his fingers down his ribs.  
“I knew you were ticklish!”  
“Not as much as you are.” He replied. “Come here.”  
Jacky let him pull him into a kiss as Denis’s hands moved over him. It felt amazing with just the soap and steam between them. Maybe they could just skip the party…  
“I’m sorry I acted that way towards Ben earlier. I didn’t mean to freak out like that. I got wound up and what he said made me think of that night you left to go back to Ronnie and it just…pissed me off. That bothered me more then I’d like to admit. I know we weren’t together but it still hurt. I’m a possessive person. Jacks, I can’t help it.”  
Jacky laced his fingers behind his neck and pulled him down until their foreheads touched. “I’m not going anywhere. There’s no threats. No more worrying.”  
“What about when I leave for tour and you’re hear in LA with him again?”  
Honestly Jacky was surprised that this hadn’t come up sooner. He knew Denis was worried about him being with Ronnie whist he was on tour, but he’d yet to voice in concerns.  
“Nothing to worry about. I will deal with it. Ronnie and I are done. I don’t want to go back to him. You’re just going to have to trust me.”  
“I trust you JJ, but I don’t trust him.” He admitted.  
“It’s okay. You don’t have to. Just trust me. Alright?”  
Denis nodded and kissed him again.  
“Don’t start that. We don’t have time.”  
“You’re killing me Jacks.” He said, stepping back under the spray of water.  
Jacky was momentarily stunned as those words ricocheted through his head in a different voice. He could feel those strong hands grip his hips, the warm skin under his fingertips, could hear that rough voice in his ears. He needed to get out of here.  
“Alright, all yours babe.” Denis said before stepping out of the shower.  
Jacky waited until the door was shut and he was sure Denis had left the room before letting his head fall back, a surge of unadulterated pleasure making his skin tight and his legs weak.  
With one arm flung out against the wall, he palmed himself but in his mind a tattooed hand stroked him, the red rose vivid in the haze. Then a tongue flicked over his heated skin, feminine laughter ringing in his ears as a cry caught in his throat. He could feel Abigayl’s long, soft hair swish against his thigh and his back arched as he pumped into the slick heat of her mouth. A second set of lips ran along the curve of his hip and Jacky’s head fell forward as he came, the intensity of it all but bringing him to his knees.  
He honestly felt sick as he washed up and turned the water off. This was so not good. He’d just asked Denis to trust him. He didn’t deserve it, did he?

“This place is fucking wicked!”  
Jacky smiled to himself as he followed Denis around Trance. He was back to his happy, excited self and Jacky was trying his best to siphon some of his attitude. He hadn’t been able to shake the sick feeling in his stomach after getting out of the shower. Denis had asked if he was okay, and he’d lied through his teeth. The truth was, he really didn’t want to go back. He WAS happy and he WANTED to stay with Denis. That was all there was too it. He just had to get control of himself again. The memories would go away with time. They’d be okay.  
“There are so many people here Jacks. Look at them all!”  
He looked out over the second floor railing at all the people down below. The club was packed and more people kept coming in, but nothing was happening yet. Jacky watched them all walking around, talking, but two of them stood out more than the rest. A woman with long silverish purple hair, wearing a tight lime green dress that reminded him of a go-go dancer and a man in black jeans and black cut off shirt. His heart leapt into his throat. Abigayl kicked one platform clad heel up and leaned backwards laughing as Ronnie held her about the waist. They both looked so happy.  
“You alright there?”  
“Yeah. I’m fine. I wonder what David’s got planned for tonight because so far this is weird. Never been in here with no music and the lights on.” He said, changing the subject.  
“I don’t know, but I’m excited!”  
Jacky couldn’t help but laugh. “I couldn’t tell!” He teased, lacing their fingers together.  
“Oh you’re just so funny today. Come on, love, we’re going downstairs. Whatever’s going to happen I want to be in the middle of it.” Denis said, pulling him along the edge of the balcony until they got to the elevator that went down to the first floor.  
Once they were out of the elevator, he let Denis pull him into the middle of the dancefloor nudging him now and then so they’d stay away from where Ronnie and Abigayl were. They were deep into the throng of people, some he knew, others he didn’t, when the lights all went out and the stage lit up.  
"Friends! Family! One in the same! " David called from the stage. "Thank you all for coming to my St. Patrick's Day party. Hmm, I noticed a lot of you didn't wear any green tonight. I'd hate for all of you to get pinched! I'm here to help!"  
A quiet beat started up, pumping through the speakers as what felt like heavy raindrops fell on to the crowd and quickly stopped.   
"What was that?" Denis asked, frowning up at the stage.   
The 'rain' had landed on his shoulder and Jacky touched it with the tip of his finger. Paint. It was neon colored paint!   
"It's paint!" He answered. "This is gonna get messy."  
"There, now that's better!" David yelled over the increasing volume of the music. "Don't worry, there's more where that came from. Did I mention our body paint is edible? Have a good night guys!"  
With that he left the stage and what sounded like sirens started up through the room as well as strobe lights and the Tesla coils started up. The entire dance floor went insane as black lights flashed through the room and more paint was released from the ceiling. 

Despite being covered in sticky paint and out of breath from getting shoved around with all the other people on the overly crowded dance floor Jacky had to admit he hadn't had this much fun in a long time.   
"Bar?" He had to yell to get Denis's attention.   
He nodded and they began trying to fight the crowd to get out. The bumped into Cam on the way, which normally would have been welcome except Abigayl was with him. The happy expression faded from her face as she saw him but Jacky just gave her a smile that surprisingly enough didn't feel so fake.   
Denis said something to Cameron who just nodded then they were moving again. They found an open spot at the bar on the second floor and Kamikaze shots were ordered. Jacky made a point in handing Aby one, wanting her to understand that everything was really and truly okay. The sour little drink made his entire mouth hurt as it burned it's way down his throat but damn it was so worth it and he held up his hand for four more. Last night together, might as well get completely shit faced right?   
And that's exactly what they did. By the time 'hey idiot remember you went to the hospital for this shit' ran through his head they were so many shots deep he couldn't count them. The rest of the night was a blur with a few scenes of clarity thrown in. He remembered Ben telling Abigayl he'd tried to get Jacky to come on tour with them. She hadn't looked thrilled about that. He remembered jumping around in the crowd as paint misted down over them and being genuinely happy, and a very intoxicated Ryan trying to lick paint off his nose.   
He remembered catching Ronnie's eye on one of the many trips back to the bar and watching his friend shake his head in disappointment.  
He remembered not caring.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 2.34

March 19th  
Los Angeles, California 

Spending the day at Becca and Ryan's recuporating had been an amazing idea. Jacky had to laugh becuase he and Ry had spent the majority of yesterday sitting on opposite ends of the couch staring at each other in various states of hangover. Man, they'd been out of it. And Becca was having none of their shit. So what did she do? Cleaned house...with the stereo turned up, blaring through the house. But then she had sushi delivered for lunch so she was forgiven.  
Now they were on their way over to Ronnie's. First day of recording. He'd been dreading this but now that it was here, Jacky was excited. He liked it when the whole band was together to record. And Ryan had even found them an excellent bass player, Zakk. Ry said they'd been friends for a long time. Jacky had only met him once but they'd got on well.  
"So um, how are you J? We don't see much of you anymore and Derek was spying for us but he said he hasn't seen much of you either." Ryan asked as they pulled off the highway.  
Jacky shrugged. "Been busy. Recorded a few songs for my next album. Denis drags me out all the time becuase he thinks I'll become a hermit or something. Busy but relaxing at the same time. Enjoying my free time."  
Ryan let out a long breath. "Speaking of Denis. I don't mean to be rude but how much longer do you plan on keeping this charade up? Why don't you just come home?"  
"Excuse me? What charade?"  
"This 'relationship' you have going on. We all know you're just pretending to be with him becuase you don't think Aby and Ronnie will take you back now."  
Jacky sat back in his seat and tried to get his brain to work because Ryan had just sent it into shutdown mode.  
"Who...who says that?" He asked. "Did they say that themselves?"  
Ryan shook his head. "No, but it's pretty evident J. Come on, we're friends. You're one of my very best friends. You can be honest with me."  
"Ryan have you considered even for a moment that you're an idiot? Pull over."  
"Why?"  
"Pull the fucking car over!"   
As the car slowed to a stop Ryan quickly locked the doors.  
"Unlock them. Now."  
"No Jacky. Not until you tell me what's going on."  
Trying his best to keep calm, Jacky turned towards his friend. "I'm not sitting at home pining over Ronnie and Aby, Ryan. They're happy and so am I. I deserve to be treated like an equal. Ronnie knew that, he just couldn't do it. Proffessionally yes, personally no. I got tried of being his bitch. You have no idea what it's like to be in a family where only the one person knows what's going on at any given point. It's all 'don't worry, ill deal with it'. I didn't know anything unless he deemed it necessary. Do you have any idea how frustrating that is? My relationship now isn't like that. We're equal and we don't fight. I'm not continually waiting for the next catastrophe. And I feel better about myself. More confident. I haven't felt this good in years. It's so...easy. I can just live. The other day, I got pissed off about something someone said to me and you what wat Denis and I did? Drove out into the desert and screamed stupid shit at the sky until I was laughing so hard I couldn't be angry. So I don't really care what everyone's saying. I'm where I want to be and that's that."  
Had all that just poured out of him? Maybe being with the Asking guys really was changing him. For the better too.   
"I'm sorry Jacky. It wasn't my business. I won't sit here and tell you I'm happy for you though. It just doesn't feel right. And you're never around anymore. You don't call. You don't even text. It's like you don't even care about our ba-"  
"Just a second Ryan." Jacky interrupted as his phone went off. It was a just a text, from Jason, but he noticed the little voicemail icon that hadn't been there before. He didn't remember ever getting a call. Pressing the call button he put it to his ear.   
"Well hello sunshine! This is Captain Bruce speaking. Your string bean of a boyfriend decided it would be incredibly convenient to put his phone in his suitcase, which by now is under a plane. But he wanted you to know that our flight leaves in exactly twenty minutes at eight o'clock which is....five your time, and that he'll call on Skype a little later. What a wanker though. Organized as a fucking ball pit he is. Hey! Stop!"   
"Jacky? I'll talk to you soon. Gonna drop Captain Bruce off halfway I think. We should get to London around noon tomorrow. If I can't call from the plane I will then before jet lag kills me. I think that's it. Lov-"  
Denis's voice cut out as the message ended and Jacky found himself smiling.   
"I'm sorry Ryan. That was important. What were you saying?" He said, slipping his phone back into the top pocket of his back pack.   
"You honestly care about him, don't you?" Ryan asked, staring straight out the windshield.   
"I told you I did."  
The rest of the ride to the house was silent. He could see Ryan grinding his teeth together, thinking but he said nothing else on the matter. 

Nothing had changed. The house was exactly the same from what he could see. For a moment Jacky stopped inside the front door and took a deep breath. It was a little weird being here and not thinking of it as his house. Then again the fact taht they'd removed any trace of him helped. He guessed that was necessary.  
Following Ryan up the front steps, Jacky could hear voices from the studio room. He had missed them. His band as a whole. And that part Ryan had been right about. Living in Vegas he hardly ever saw them and he was horrible about keeping in contact. There really wasn't anything making him stay in Vegas, and none of Asking weas around there or here. Maybe they could move to LA. With two fo them they could afford a better place than he had before too. He would talk to Denis about it later.  
The rest of his band plus Ashley and...Courtney? were upstairs chatting away. He barely had time to set down his guitar case before she had her arms around him.   
"You brat! I didn't even get to say hi before you left in Baltimore. What was that all about?" She said when she pulled away.  
"I'm sorry Court. We left for New Jersey right after the show. The guys only had a couple weeks before the next tour that starts tomorrow. But what are you doing out here?"  
Courtney gave him a curious look, green eyes narrowing on him. "Ash and I have decided to give each other another chance. I've spent the last couple of weeks out here actually."  
"You'd know that if you were here. Or kept in touch." Ryan smarted, sitting down at the sound board.   
That was it.   
Crossing the room Jacky grabbed the back of the chair, spinning it back around to face him before bracing his hands on either arm, getting right in Ryan's face.   
"This is how things are gonna go. You're not going to make snarky remarks and I'm not going to punch you in the face. If you don't agree with how I'm living then that's your problem. For that matter if it's so detrimental to all of you." He said, turning back to everyone else. "I will walk out the fucking door right now. Find someone else to play for you."   
No one said a word. No one moved.   
Jacky grabbed his guitar case from the floor. "I'll be back. Make a decision." Was all he said before taking the back staircase down to the library.   
Adrenaline made his hands shake as he threw his bag on the couch and sat the case on one of the tables. They were going to kick him out of the band. Jacky knew that much, and was surprised how little he cared. He loved Falling in Reverse. Absolutely loved his band but not if this is how it was going to be. This he couldn't and wouldn't deal with. He was willing to move closer. But he still deserved his own time.   
Clicking the latches of his case open he lifted the lid and laughed. There was a note stuck under the strings and a tiny box of chocolates in with his extra strings. The little box had already been opened so he took the lid off to see one of the four pieces was missing. Shaking his head he opened the note. 

I couldn't help myself! I really really like chocolate. I don't like goodbyes but it's not permanent....right? It feels like it to me. I hope you're at the airport when I get home. If not, I won't be mad at you. I wanted you to know that. I left you something in your bag. I think in your wallet. It's supposed to be good luck. We'll talk soon. Just a few short weeks. Love you JJ. -D 

Jacky felt an ache in his chest as he folded up the messily written note and pulled his wallet out of the top of his back pack. He’d never been the one left home before. Sure, he had been away on tour when Abigayl was still at home but Ronnie had been with him and it was only for a few days. This was different. He wasn’t completely sure he could handle three weeks like this.  
Rubbing his thumb over the soft leather he remembered being in Paris where Ronnie bought it for him. Memories. That’s all they were. He’d always have the memories but they didn’t have to make him feel guilty. He had loved Aby and Ronnie. He still did, always would. But he would always have the memories made with them. Now it was time to create new ones.  
Inside the first fold of the wallet he found what Denis had left him. His necklace. It was a gold Ukrainian coin drilled through and hung on a strip of brown leather. In all the time Jacky had known him, he had never taken it off. His throat got tight as he slipped the necklace over his head and held the little coin up with his thumb.  
“I’ll be at that airport D. Don’t you worry. Wouldn’t miss it.” He whispered.  
“Jacky? Can I come down a second?”  
He turned to see Ronnie on the spiral staircase.  
“Yeah. It’s your house after all. You can go wherever you want.”  
Ronnie scoffed as he came down the stairs to sit on the coffee table in front of him. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. That’s neat, where’d you get it?” He asked, touching a fingertip to the little gold coin.  
“It’s Denis’s. He left it for me until he gets back. I’m not going to put up a fight you know? You don’t have to pretend you’re letting me down easy. I’ll find something else to do.” He replied, standing up to grab his bag.  
“I’m not firing you. Ryan was out of line. But you have to understand J, he feels like he’s losing his best friend. He misses you. They all miss you.”  
“Even you?”  
He nodded. “Even me. I miss our friendship. I miss being able to talk to you and the longer we were together the less I did that. It's just, over the last few years we've been used to being close to each other. All of us have. Except Derek but he does his own thing most of the time. I'm happy for you Jacky. I really am but I really do wish you were around more. This band is a family and it's hard on the rest of the family when we feel like one of us just doesn't care anymore. Do you want to be in this band? I won't be angry with you if you feel like you need to leave. But there has to be communication. I have to know what's going on to be able to hold everything together."  
Jacky understood that. "I don't want to leave the band. I don't want that. I'm going to talk to Denis later about maybe relocating to LA. None of his band is around Vegas either so it's not like he'd be moving away from them. Then I'd be here in town. I want to stay a part of this family."  
"Good. I think that would help. Then you AND Denis can spend more time with us. The guys don't know him. They're going to have to adjust, just like Asking did having you around. It just takes time. But because of Abigayl we are one big family and this is becoming a wedge between us. It's got to be fixed or the bands going to fall apart." He said, lightly running his fingers over the strings of the guitar next to him.   
"I think I can make it work. What about me and you though?"  
"You're my best friend. I will always love you, and I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't take you back in a heartbeat, but I'm thankful for what I have. I love Abigayl and Matty is more than I deserve. I'll always be here if you need me. You're family." Ronnie replied, squeezing his knee.   
"Thank you. I needed to hear that."  
"You ready to go make an album and shake up the world again?"  
Jacky grinned back at him. "Fuck yes I am!"

Surprisingly enough things felt pretty normal once they started working. Ryan settled down too. Ronnie had been right. He needed to be around them more. Guess he had to balance how band and his boyfriend's now.   
"I gotta admit J, you standing up to Ryan like that was not expected." Derek said out of the blue while the two of them were left upstairs alone for a few minutes.   
"I guess maybe I've grown up a bit huh?"   
Derek shook his head. “Absolutely not. Still a brat, but you’re definitely more…something.”  
“Confident?”  
“Yes. Looks good on you. Being around Denis and Asking is good for you in at least one way. Ronnie’s worried you’ll end up back in the hospital.” He said, tightening a new string on to his bright white guitar.  
“That’s why he looked so disgusted with me the other night then. Well that makes sense. I’ll be careful Derek. How about I promise less alcohol and more time at the Radke manor?”  
His friend smiled at that. “I’ll hold you to that promise, you little bitch.”  
Jacky started laughing and just about fell off his chair. A ringing from his bag blared through the room and he scrambled to get to it before it stopped.   
"Who is it?"   
"Um, I can talk to them later when they get to London." He answered, staring at the screen.   
"Jacky don't be stupid. Answer the damn call. It's just us up here."   
"Thank you." He said with relief before pushing the button to answer the Skype call. The screen was just a blur of color at first then a hand moved away and he could see Ben. Denis laid against his shoulder completely dead to the world.   
"Shhh." He said, putting a finger to his lips. "He's been out for like two hours now. He wanted to call you though so I'm doing it for him."  
"How much longer do you guys have?"  
Ben made a stupid face like he was having to think way too hard. "It's five in the morning. So about three hours of actual plane time. We have a layover for a couple hours."   
"Alright well if he wakes up enough you can tell him to call me from there. I'll wake up if I'm asleep. He knows that. And thanks. You're alright for asshole."   
"Oh now you're just flirtin' mate. Talk to you later."   
Before he could reply the screen went black again and the call ended.   
"They're overseas now. Gonna be landing after a bit before taking a second flight to London. We'll talk later." Jacky said when Derek gave him a confused look.   
"Well, you wanna work out this little part and get it recorded while we wait?" He asked, holding his guitar up for him.  
"Trying to distract me?"  
Derek shrugged. "I know what it's like leaving Stina. A distraction is always welcome."  
Leave it to Derek to actually care.

By the time his phone rang again they'd almost finished their parts on one song and Derek had gone downstairs to see how the cupcake brigade was doing. Man, he loved cupcakes. Ronnie had come up to see how it was going and they'd talked a bit about Aby and how much Matty had grown. Jacky was excited to see him tomorrow.  
"Want me to go somewhere else?" He asked as the phone continued to ring.  
"Nah, don't mind me." He answered, poking at the keys of their grand piano.  
Jacky hit the call button and waited for the video to pop up.  
"You look sleepy." He teased, and Denis flipped him off.  
"I am sleepy. Ben just dragged me off the plane and I was sleeping so good. Like that night after the New Years fireworks, only a plane, not a truck." He said through a yawn.   
Jacky had to laugh. He remembered New Years. Denis had been worried after an all nighter that he'd fall asleep before he could see the fireworks so they'd stayed up all day and night. Fifty one hours total but they brought in the new year together in the back of a friend's truck in the middle of the desert watching the firewords over Lake Mead.  
"I remember. You slept for sixteen hours, woke up, drank a fifth of Jack and konked back out. New Years was good."   
"Very good. Maybe when I get back we could take a uh what do you call it? Road trip? I've never been to the Grand Canyon. Ben says it's nothing special but I wanna go. Let's just take the truck and go."  
He wanted to take a beat up old pick up truck down to the Grand Canyon? Why the hell did that make him so happy?  
"We'll see when you get back from tour. I wanted to talk to you about something though. Something kind of important."  
Denis sat up a little and started chewing on his bottom lip. He wouldn't look up at the camera.  
"What's with the look? Denis, look at me."  
"I don't want to have this conversation. I'm tired and I just don't want too. I told you I would't be mad but I lied. I don't want..."  
He switched languages and continued rattling on. This happened a lot when Denis couldn't get the words out fast enough in english. He was going too fast for Jacky to catch much though. He'd learned quite a bit of his language just from listening to him talk to his parents or friends from back home. But all he got this time was 'I don't want to go home'. He kept repeating that.  
"What the hell?"  
Jacky didn't look away from the his phone as Ronnie sat down on the couch beside him, and he got another earful of gibberish after which Denis sat back, crossing his arms over his chest. That one he understood.   
"No, Denis. He is not our problem right now. Wait. No, stop!"  
Before Jacky could say more, he got up and they were left staring at the backrest of an airport chair.  
"What was all that about? Did you understand him?" Ronnie asked.  
Jacky nodded. "I got the gist of it. He's um, a bit highstrung. Especially if he's tired. He thinks I was breaking up with him. That last part was him saying you were the reason."  
"I haven't done anything."  
"I know. Ah! Ben!" He yelled as the guitar player walked past the laptop camera.  
"Jacky? What did you do to my Baby Bird? He's proper pissed mate."  
"I know. He just won't listen. He Ukrainianed me and took off. Ben, will you please go find him? I want to ask him something."  
Ben just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I'll go find the idiot. But don't you hurt him!"  
"I don't plan on it. Ever."

 

They waited a good ten minutes before Ben brought Denis back. How childish was that?  
Ronnie stayed quiet as he mouthed off something in whatever that weird ass language was and Jacky laughed.  
"Yeah, I know. I forgive you. But really you could have let me talk. James says you've been talking about moving to the states permanently?"  
"Yeah, he thought it would be a good idea. Thought I'd try New Jersey. Close to Ben. Why? Worried I don't have a place to go?" He snarked, and Ben popped him on the back of the head.   
"I'm not." Jacky started but they didn't hear him over their own squabbling and he was getting frustrated. "Can you just stop for two fucking seconds so I can ask you to move to LA with me?!"  
Denis and Ben both stopped talking and stared at the screen.  
"You're serious?" Denis finally asked.  
Jacky grinned back at him. "Yes, you idiot I'm serious. I know it's not any closer to your band but we can travel. I need to move and I want you there with me. Need you there with me."  
"Permanent?"  
"Yes D. Permanent. As permanent as I'm ready to make it right now. Come on, just say you will!"  
He didn't need to hear anymore of this.   
Leaving Jacky and his boy toy, Ronnie took the spiral stairs down to the kitchen. Ashley had run off somewhere, Derek was in the living room with Zakk, and Ryan had run home to check on Becca and Alessa. That left just Courtney in the kitchen, setting cupcakes out on the island.  
"You look like someone just dented the Escalade. What's up?" She asked, handing one to him. Mmm cheesecake.  
"Couldn't take anymore of the love fest going on upstairs. It's disgusting."  
Courtney frowned at him. "Why? What is going on?"  
"Jacky is moving back to LA."  
"And you're not happy about that?" She asked.  
"No. He just asked Denis to permanently move to the US. To live with him. He's insane. It's never going to last and he'll end up in a bad place." Ronnie answered, sitting up at the bar.  
"You're being a jealous dickhead. I hope you realize that."   
"I am not. First of all, I'm not jealous. Look what I have. What do I have to be jealous of? They're just...childish. Denis just asked Jacky to take him to the Grand Canyon. What kind of trip is that? It's stupid. And he talks to Jacky in whatever that nasty language is he speaks because he gets overexcited like a three year old. Court, he left J his necklace to keep while he was gone. I could see leaving your girlfriend something but that's just dumb. Even worse? Jacky's actually wearing the stupid thing! They're like fucking teenagers."  
Courtney braced her elbows on the top of the island and gave him a blank look like he was stupid.   
"Are you done? Listen to yourself. I'm disappointed in you. You're the one that let him go Ronnie. Jacky has the relationship he wanted from you now and he's happy. That's why you think what they have is stupid. Because you don't understand it. Jacky is a simple person. He doesn't need all the material things you do to be happy. Someone that cares about him and wants to be with him no matter what they're doing. That's all he wanted from you. I'm not blaming you or saying how you are is wrong. You're just wrong for him. So stop putting them down and focus on what you have, a beautiful family. Take care of that amazing little boy who already loves you unconditionally. Marry your beautiful girlfriend that basically worships the ground you walk on. Give her the attention she deserves instead of pining over someone who found what they deserved. Got it?"  
He took a second to let that all sink in and felt his throat get tight. She was so right. He was jealous. And disappointed in himself. He had to let go. Abigayl and Matty deserved so much better. Hell, why Aby still looked at him like he held the world for her Ronnie would never understand but he loved her and it was time to prove that.   
"Yeah. I got it. Thank you Courtney. Again. I'm going to take off for a bit. Ashley coming back tonight?"  
She nodded. "Yeah, we're going to stay. Zakk and I go way back and Ash wants to grill him about me apparently. He just ran home to get clothes. Where are you going?"   
"To see if I'm lucky enough to get a second chance at this wedding thing. I'll be back later."  
Courtney actually smiled. "Good luck to you."

By the time he made it to Ryan's, Ronnie had to find the stupid spare key to get in the house. Ry's car was gone so he assumed they had just missed each other. The house was completely dark as he put in the password for the alarm. Though it took monumental self control he didn't go into the nursery to check on Matty. He didn't want to risk Alessa waking up. Instead he snuck into the spare bedroom. Abigayl was awake, laying on her stomach in bed reading a book. She jumped a little when the door opened but then just looked confused.   
"Uh babe what are you doing here. This is recording week. I didn't think I'd see you for a few days?" She asked, sitting up on her knees.   
"Yeah, I know." He answered, quietly shutting the door behind him. "But I needed to talk to you about something."   
Abigayl rolled her eyes. "That's what phones are for. You didn't have to come all the way over here."  
"For this I did."   
A terrified look flitted across her features as he took her hand and pulled the little pink ring off her finger.   
"Wait. Ronnie what's going on? Can we talk about this? Is it Jacky? Did he say something?" She asked frantically.   
"No, he didn't say anything. Courtney did actually. She always knows what to say." He said, getting down on his knee beside the bed.   
Her eyes got big and she stopped talking.   
"I know we've been here before, and I screwed it up, but it's time to put the past in the past. I'm sorry that I've been such an ass these last few weeks. I thought I was losing something but in reality I have everything right here. Jacky's happy. I want to be happy too. And I am with you and Matty. So what do you say? Marry me? Again?"  
She scoffed. "How could I possibly say no?"   
"I was hoping you wouldn't be able to." He teased, slipping the ring back on her finger before she wrapped her arms around his neck.   
"I'm proud of you. I know how much you wanted all of us to work and letting J go is a huge deal. But in the end you'll see this is what's right."  
"I know it is. It's just hard to let go sometimes."  
Abigayl pulled away from him then. "Trust me, I understand. So? When do you want to do this?"


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 2.35

March 18th  
Los Angeles, California 

"Abigayl? Where are you?" Ronnie called out as he reached the top of the stairs.   
"Closet."  
That was fitting.   
He found her at the back of the closet, bent over looking through shoes. She had on a flowy blue tank top and high-waisted white jean shorts that looked uncomfortably short but it's not like he was going to complain.   
"Black or brown?" She asked, holding up two pairs of western style boots.   
"Brown. Aby, you doing okay?" He asked as she tossed the boots to him.   
"Yep. Doing fine. Worried my dress won't fit."   
"You're going to wear the same dress? And maybe you should have waited till after the wedding to inject yourself full of plastic?"  
She gave him a shut the hell up glare. "Hell no I'm not wearing the same dress. I'm going shopping next week. Don't have time to have one made but I'll find one. And it wasn't that big of a difference. You gonna stand there and tell me you aren't happy about it?" She asked, slipping her tank top off over her head.   
It made a bigger difference than she thought.  
Ronnie kept that thought to himself as he let his eyes roam over the blue, lace bra she was wearing. She'd wanted to go up a size and he was certainly not going to say no. Aby had gone in for surgery a few days after they'd got back from the last tour. She looked amazing in his opinion but right now he just wanted her out of those clothes. Unfortunately they didn't have time. A group of them were headed to the airport. With only two weeks until the wedding most of Asking had just decided to stay in LA. Chris and Veronica were on their way too since she didn't want to wait another couple of weeks to see her now fiance. Jacky had been all but brainless the last couple of days knowing the tour was almost over. The band hadn't had very good luck with   
Wi-Fi the last week so they hadn't really talked and that was making Jacky extremely nervous. Ronnie honestly hoped Denis was that excited to see him too.   
"Were you able to find a place in Vegas on this short of notice?" She asked, fishing around in one of her dresser drawers. "Where the hell did I put my phone?"  
"It's in your back pocket. You still need a shirt. And yes, did you actually expect me of all people not to get you what you wanted?" He answered.  
Abigayl pulled her phone out of her back pocket and shook it at him. "I'm losing my damn mind. And no, I didn't doubt you. I don't want to know what you had to do though. So, Caesar's Palace then?" She asked, coming to stand in front of him.   
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Yep. In two short weeks. I have a woman named Natalie who's arranging everything the way you wanted. Should be perfect."  
"We could just elope."  
"No way in hell. You're getting a big overdone wedding whether you like it or not."  
Abigayl just laughed. "I love you, you crazy man."

 

"You don't have to go. Why don't you stay home with Matty? Give you some time alone with him before the madness begins."  
"You really don't mind if I don't go to the airport with you?" Ronnie asked, handing her the keys to the Escalade.   
"Nah, I'm a big girl. I can handle myself. You enjoy the alone time."  
Ronnie didn’t protest at all.  
“Alright. I’ll stay. Do me a favor though?”  
“Um, sure?”  
“I know it’s not our problem but…if they come back and-“  
Abigayl leaned up on her toes, cutting him off with a kiss. “I’ll make sure Jacky is okay. You don’t have to pretend you don’t care. I still care too. Don’t worry.”  
“Thank you. Okay go, everyone’s waiting for you.”  
Aby squeezed his hand before hurrying out the front door.  
Once they were on the road Veronica and Chris sat in the back, watching something on the DVD players while Jacky sat in the passenger seat strangely quiet.  
“Hey, you alright over there?”  
Jacky shrugged. “Nervous I guess.”  
“Because you guys haven’t been able to talk much?”  
He frowned at her then just sighed. “We haven’t actually talked in almost two weeks. Like no contact whatsoever except what I see through ben’s twitter which is just location updates.”  
“That’s all I’ve got too except a few emails from Cam. Maybe the service just wasn’t good J.”  
“Wishful thinking Aby. To be honest he may not even be on that plane. May have just gone home. Why else wouldn’t he have got ahold of me yesterday when they landed in New York?”  
Abigayl wished she knew what to say. “I don’t know. Only Denis can tell you that. He’ll be there. He wouldn’t do that to you.”  
“Can I ask you something kind of personal?”  
Aby scoffed. “Of course you can.”  
“When Ronnie left me in the hospital, did you even fight him? How did you let go of me so easy? Be honest, did you ever really care?” He asked, staring straight through the windshield.  
Abigayl felt her chest get tight. She’d been waiting for this conversation.  
“Jacky, when I came back to the High Voltage Tour I was ready to leave with you and you alone. I loved you every bit as much as I did Ronnie. I still do. What did you want me to do? Fall apart and demand Ronnie keep you with us even though we both knew you were better off without us? It wasn’t easy. It just about tore Ronnie and I apart letting you go. But we’re on stable ground again and you are so much happier.”  
“I won’t be if he doesn’t come home.” He replied before going silent again.  
There was nothing else she could say.

Once they made it to the airport she all but had to drag Jacky into the terminal. The four of them didn’t have to wait long before the boys came out of the gates, looking like they hadn’t slept in days.  
Abigayl couldn’t help but laugh as she was lifted off her feet into a hug.  
“Cameron put me down!” She said, only to have Ben’s arms wrap around her too.  
She watched as James picked Chris up and kissed her. Those two were going to be inseparable for sure. Sam and Denis were the last through the gate.  
“Jacky?!”  
The two of them literally ended up on the floor and Denis wrapped his arms around Jacky’s neck.  
“J was so worried. He didn’t think anyone would be here for him.” Aby said quietly.  
“He’s not the only one. We’ve had a horrible time getting Wi-Fi this time around and Denis just about lost his shit about two days ago. We got to New York and Sam actually slipped him a sleeping pill so he’d calm down. Damn thing knocked him out until we got on the plane this morning.” Ben replied, shaking his head.  
“But we did manage to hear you were getting married. Again. Are you excited?” Cameron asked.  
"I am! Come on, let’s get you guys back to the house. I’m starving.”  
Abigayl smiled as she looked into the rearview mirror. She missed her family, it was good to have most of them here. Although she was a little worried what would happen when Luna and Danny showed up. Luna was flying in a week before the wedding but Danny wouldn’t get in until the day of. Ben assured her it wouldn’t be a problem on their part. And she knew Denis wouldn’t cause a scene but Danny she wasn’t so sure about. She planned to talk to him before they all ended up in the same room.

 

“Jacky? Can I talk to you a second?”  
The laughter on the other side of the door cut off as Ronnie knocked and he started wishing he’d waited longer to come upstairs.  
“Yeah, come on in.”  
Reluctantly, he pushed the door open. Jacky and Denis were laying on the big bed on their stomachs watching something on what he assumed was Denis’s phone.  
“Tour videos. Catching Jacky up on everything I couldn’t tell him about while we were gone.” He said, crawling off the bed. “I’ll um, be downstairs JJ.”  
“Alright. Be down in a minute.”  
“So, what’s up?” Jacky asked as the door clicked shut.  
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh like that.” He answered, sitting on the edge of the bed. “It’s nice to hear.”  
Jacky just smiled.  
“Anyway, this wedding thing. I need a best man.”  
“Is it customary in America for your ex to stand up with you?” Jacky teased.  
“I think it’s customary for us. Come on, what do you say?”  
“Do I have to wear a suite? Because that’s a deal breaker. Nah, I’ll be up there for you.”  
Ronnie shoved his shoulder. “You’re an ass, but thank you. So are you and him okay then?”  
Jacky tried to hide it but he couldn’t stop smiling. “Yeah, we’re perfect.”  
“You know J, for the first time since we found out you were together, I actually believe that.”

“You’re so sleepy all the time…. Don’t tell your mommy but I’m thinking a nap sounds pretty good too.”  
Ronnie laid down on his back, Matty lying beside him. Those big brown eyes kept slamming shut.  
“What’s going on in here? Both of my boys falling asleep and it’s only three?”  
Ronnie sat back up as Abigayl knelt down on the blanket beside him and Matty.  
‘’Psh, we were doing sit ups. Working out. You know. Guy stuff.” He said, lifting his son up on to his shoulder.  
“Oh, of course. That would have been my first guess.” She said, giving him a quick kiss. “Did you talk to Jacky yet?”  
“Yes, I did. He said yes. So we’re all good to go. You just need a dress.”  
She laughed. “Don’t you worry, I’ll find one.”

 

  
“So what happened to all my stuff when you found the new apartment here in LA?”  
Jacky laughed as Denis stole a cookie from the tray Rosa was trying to put them all on. She didn’t say anything but a smile curved her lips.  
“Oh, I boxed everything up and set it outside the old building. Figured we could go back and pick it all up when you got home.” Jacky answered with a shrug.  
“What?! Jacky it’s all gonna be gone! How could you-“  
“Denis! I’m kidding. Calm down. I moved all your things too. I figured even if you decided not to come and live with me then you’d at least have to come back and get your stuff. Thought I might be able to change your mind.”  
He frowned at that. Those freaky greenish brown eyes searching his face. “You didn’t think I was going to come back?”  
Jacky looked up to see Rosa was giving him a curious look now too.  
“Well, I mean we didn’t talk for a while and you didn’t get ahold of me in New York so I thought maybe you’d just gone home instead. No, I didn’t even expect you to be at the airport. I almost refused to even go.” He answered honestly.  
Rosa scoffed. “He basically became a basket case the last week or so.”  
Denis shook his head. “I did too Jacky. I hated not being able to call you. Sam freaking drugged me in New York. They said it was just to calm me down but it knocked me out. Trust me J, there was never any chance that I wasn’t coming home to you.”  
Just hearing that made him feel a hundred times better.  
“I did meet your mum and dad while we were in London though.”  
Jacky just about choked on the cookie he’d stolen. “You met my parents without me?”  
Denis shrugged. “Ben introduced me but didn’t tell me they were your parents. I didn’t know until later. You’re mum is so sweet. And your dad bought me a drink so I think he likes me.”  
Jacky sat up on the counter beside him and kissed his cheek. “They must have really liked you. What else did they say?”  
“That we need to visit sometime soon. And your mum said to tell you she loved you. She made fun of how I talk too by the way. Maddy likes wine doesn’t she?”  
“Yes she does. My mum loves wine. We should go visit them. Take a vacation just the two of us.”


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 2.36

 

Los Angeles, California   
April 1st

 

Dress? Check. Hair and nails? Check. Makeup, flowers, veil? Check, check, and check.  
Abigayl stared at herself in the floor length mirror and forced her hands to her sides so she'd stop fidgeting. Ashley had helped her find a dress. Simple, elegant, it was black, Grecian style of course. It was held up by soft almost sheer material that attached to one side and looped around her neck. The top was tightened at the waist with thin gold rope and layers of soft material flowed to the ground and into a short train behind her. The sheer cape that hung off the back added a bit of shimmer. It was definitely more sedate than her first dress had been.  
"Aby? We need to head downstairs now. Are you ready?"  
Abigayl turned towards Luna and took a deep breath. They'd chose black and deep ruby red for wedding colors and somehow Ash had miraculously found Luna, Becca, Courtney, and Jenna matching dresses that were almost exactly like hers without the cape and train. She had a feeling Jacky and Nikky had something to do with it but she wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.   
"Yeah, I'm ready. Ready as I'll ever be. Is Danny waiting downstairs?"  
Luna nodded. "Yep. He's waiting to give you away." She said, then turned her face away.   
"Lu? What's wrong? Are you okay?" She asked, holding the other woman's hands.   
"Yes, of course. I'm just...happy for you. My baby girl. You deserve this! Don't make me cry it'll ruin my makeup." She laughed.  
"No crying! I'll have none of it. Come on, take me down to Danny so I can marry my fantasy."  
Luna laughed and helped her pick up the train of her dress then they headed downstairs.   
Danny was standing outside the meeting hall where the wedding was being held with Courtney, Becca, and Jenna. A woman with cropped blond hair and thick rimmed black glasses stood with them. She wore a very chic grey suit and flat black shoes. She turned towards Aby when Danny motioned over her shoulder. The woman held out her hand and smiled.   
"So you're the lucky woman. I'm Natalie, your coordinator. We're just waiting for the boys to come downstairs and we'll get this party started."  
As she was talking Ryan came up behind her followed by Jacky, and Ashley.   
"The boys are here!" Ryan joked before kissing Aby's cheek and putting his arm around his wife.  
"Cut it out Ryan we're on a time schedule." Becca chided, slapping at his arm.   
"Right. Couples ready?" Natalie asked and waited for them all to nod. "Queue the music." She spoke into her headset and seconds later Aby heard music start up in the hall.   
She and Danny waited by the side as Becca and Ryan headed down the isle followed by Court and Ash, then Jacky and Jenna. Luna would be walking down alone last.   
"You look good in that red." Aby said, flattening down Danny's tie.   
"Of course I do. I look good in everything. You don't look too bad yourself. Mr. Purdy did a pretty good job with this dress. Did you guys ever decide on a place for your honeymoon?"  
"Yeah, we're going to the Bahamas. Taking Matty and Rosa too."  
"The Bahamas? Took Luna there for a weekend. Never been that drunk before... You know, you can still make a run for it. There's still time." He said seriously, squeezing her hand.   
"I'm not going anywhere. I know you're worried but I want this more than anything. And things are going to be better. They already have."   
Danny just nodded and kissed her forehead before flipping her veil up over her face. The music started and it was time.   
Her stomach was doing gymnastics as they slowly walked down the center isle that Ronnie's niece had previously strewn with black flower petals on the dark red carpet. The entire hall was done up in the same colors. It was gorgeous but all she could focus on was the man standing at the front smiling at her. He's all that mattered.   
Danny kissed her cheek and placed her hand into Ronnie's before taking his place in line.   
"Is your heart going nuts? Mine's about to give out."   
Aby couldn't stop smiling as he whispered in her ear as they climbed the three steps up to the alter.   
"Back flips. Mine's doing back flips." She answered.   
"Will we make it through round two then?" Dr. Peters asked jokingly once they stood in front of him.   
"No interruptions this time. Best behavior." Ronnie answered.  
The older man smiled. "Okay, then let's get this started."

"You may, finally, kiss the bride."  
Tears burned behind her eyes as the veil was lifted over her head. Applause filled the room as Ronnie leaned down to kiss her but Aby didn't hear any of it. Everything was a blur of emotion as they made their way back down the aisle and out of the hall. The reception was being held a couple halls over but Ronnie pulled her aside before they made it all the way there and into a dark empty room.   
"What are you doing?" She asked.   
"We've got a few minutes. You look gorgeous. So damn beautiful. This is the second best day of my life." He said, pulling her into his arms and kissing the top of her head.   
"Wait. Second best? What the hell's the first?"   
"The night you let me hold Matty for the first time."   
Abigayl smiled to herself, laying her head against his chest. That she could live with.   
"We should probably go. They're going to expect us in there soon." She said.   
"Nah, they'll be fine without us." He answered, nipping at her ear.   
She let him go. Her body was on fire as his hands skimmed down her sides.   
"We can't. Not now. Baby we gotta wait." She whispered.  
Ronnie kissed her again, silencing her arguments.   
"Alright, but as soon as possible we're sneaking out and I'm keeping you in bed until we leave for the Bahamas. That okay with you Mrs. Radke?"  
Aby couldn't help but laugh. "That sounds absolutely perfect. Everything you just said was perfect."

It was just like being in a movie. The reception was beautiful. She and Ronnie had their first dance as husband and wife then she was passed off to Danny. They talked about her father while they danced. Aby wished he could see this, but maybe he was watching from somewhere.   
It was some four hours later when they said their goodbyes and headed back up to their suite. They didn't leave for the airport until tomorrow afternoon which gave them some much needed alone time.   
"I am so using that Jacuzzi." Abigayl said as she slipped off her heels.   
"Do you want company?"  
Abigayl watched as Ronnie took off his suit coat and loosened the blood red tie from around his neck.  
"I don't know." She mused. "Haven't we spent enough time together today?"  
Ronnie licked his lips as she unbottoned his shirt, spreading her hands across the colorful expanse of his chest.  
"No such thing as enough time together." He said, untying the loop holding her dress up. The heavy material didn't need much help falling to the floor.  
"Go turn the water on? I'll be along in a moment."  
He nodded before stripping down to his boxers and heading into the huge bathroom. Abigayl went out to the kitchen and grabbed two flutes and a bottle of strawberry champagne then headed back into the bedroom. Stripping out of the rest of her clothes, she loosely tied the red tie around her neck.  
"So, I think your tie looks better on me than you." She said before entering the room.  
"Oh yeah? Let me see."  
Ronnie looked up from where he sat on the edge of the jucuzzi swirling his fingers throught the steaming water.  
"Holy hell. Ah, Aby I think I have to agree with you. Mmm my gorgeous, fiery, sexy wife. Come here."  
Abigayl sat the champagne and glasses down on the edge of the tub before standing in front of him. Ronnie pulled on the tie until she was forced on to his lap.  
"New rule. I'll keep my clothes on if you never put yours back on." He said, nuzzling against her throat.  
"Now that's not any fun. And I bought the cutest thing when Becca and I went shopping last week. I'll have to keep the tie for it though."  
Aby squealed as his teeth grazed her skin and he bent her backwards so she was off balance.  
"Wait, wait. Ronnie I wanna ask you something." She said, holding on to his arms.  
"Now? You have to ask right now?" He all but whined.  
"Yes now. Did you- Were you even tempted when you saw Jacky and Denis together that night on the bus?"  
ronnie just sighed and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Abigayl the Pope himself would have been tempted. I'm not going to lie to you. Had it just been sex, yes I probably would have stayed. But it wasn't, not for them. That's when it finally hit me that we, I had to let Jacky go. He'd found what I already had with you. And now, now I've got you all to myself. I'm freaking married! I never thought I'd be able to say that."  
Abigayl smiled, giving him a light kiss.  
"But Aby, why did you bring that up? Why bring it up right now?"  
"Um, becuase I was thinking about that last morning we were all together...What we were doing before we left the Palms."  
He smiled, running his hands up her bare back. "Mhm, I remember."  
"I regret not interupting you and Jacky sooner that morning." She said quietly.  
"Jacky doesn't have to be here to try that. If you still want to."  
Aby shrugged. "I don't know..."  
"Come on, the water's hot."  
He lifted her up so she could put her feet down in the water but a flash of pink caught her attention and all Aby could do was stare at the gleaming rock on her finger.  
Holy shit.  
"Babe, you okay?" Ronnie asked, tipping her chin up to look at him.  
"It's just...like some fan story. I married you. I married my hero." She said, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding on tight.

 

"You're something else mate. Standing up as Ronnie's best man even though they basically just dumped you."  
Jacky watched Danny curiously as he sat down at the black draped table and handed him a martini. Danny had no idea about him and Denis and right now he didn't want to be the one to deliver the news.  
"They didn't just dump me Danny. It was time and we all knew it. Ronnie is my best friend. That's not going to change. You looke like a penguin in that suit by the way."  
Danny flipped him off. "Fuck off wolf boy. It pains me to say this but I have to admit I'm proud of you for how you've handled all this. Much better than last time you guys split up."  
Well he could thank Denis for that.   
"Uh, thanks I think. It hasn't been too bad actually. I'm very happy this wedding happened."  
Danny's eyes narrowed on him for a moment before he leaned back in his chair.   
"So how was your last tour? You guys were the first to take Asking out after I left. How'd it go? Did the new kid choke?"  
Jacky forced himself not to react to that. "It went well. I'm not going to lie to you Danny. You're better off without them and the band is better off without you. None of you were happy. You are now, so why care who's singing for them?" He asked.   
"You're right. I know. But come on. This guy was a fan. Like he's come to shows to get his picture taken with me before. What business does he have fronting a band like Asking?"  
Okay now he was getting agitated.  
"I was a fan too Danny." He said flatly.  
"Yeah, but that's different J."   
"It's not different. You left. It was time for you to move on. I know even with Harlot that had to have been hard, but you have to let go. It's not Denis's fault they picked him. He's good. Really good. And you gotta stop degrading him just becuase he's not you."  
As soon as it was all out Jacky turned away from that scrutinizing gaze and ran his fingertip through the black and red glitter that had been sprinkled on all the tables.   
"Why are you defending him?"  
He didn't answer.  
"Jacky, why are you- Speak of the devil."  
Jacky looked up and tried not to smile as Denis pulled a chair closer and sat down beside him.  
"Hello, what you guys talking about?" He asked. He wasn't being rude, just curious.  
"Nothing important." He answered before Danny could. "Wait a second, D why do you have Abigayl's flowers?"  
Denis shrugged, running his fingers over the velvet surface of black rose petals. "She tossed it to me before she and Ronnie went upstairs. I figured she wanted me to hold on to it for her?"  
Danny scoffed and Jacky couldn't help but shake his head.  
"You might want to give them to Becca. It's an English thing. The bride's supposed to throw this and whoever catches it is supposed to be the next girl to get married." Jacky told him while Danny continued to glare at him.   
"Well, she did 'throw' it to me." Denis mused, putting the flowers up to his nose then making a nasty face at them. "What do you think JJ? Wanna marry me?"   
Danny choked and just about spit martini all over the table.   
"What the fuck?!"  
"Denis maybe we should talk about this later-"  
"Oh no." Danny started. "Please, I want to hear the rest of this. Now it all makes sense."  
"Danny stop."  
"Why? What's going on?" Denis asked, putting a hand on his arm.   
Jacky took a deep breath. "Danny didn't know that me and you were together. But if I'm honest the way he's been talking he doesn't deserve to know. Doesn't deserve to know you either. Let's just go say good night and talk about this back in the room okay?"   
He looked confused for a moment, eyes flicking back and forth between him and Danny. "Okay. Yeah, upstairs."   
"Wait, wait. Hold up." Danny said quickly as they stood up. "Jacky what you said made a lot of sense. It's not 'my' band anymore. Gotta let shit go. Let's just start over." He finished, holding his hand out to Denis.   
"Danny, singer for We Are Harlot. Nice to meet you."  
Denis eyed his skeptically then shook his hand. "Denis. NEW singer for Asking Alexandria. Good meeting you too."   
Danny actually smiled at him. "Good. That's good. You two have a good night." He said before walking over to join Luna.  
"That was weird yeah?"   
Jacky nodded. "Very. I was serious though. If you're okay with skipping out early I want to go upstairs and talk."  
He smiled, lacing their fingers together and picking the flowers up from the table.   
What the hell was he supposed to do? No one outside of close friends and family even knew they were together. Had Denis even been serious? It was going to be a long night.  
After saying goodbye to everyone he could Jacky looked around the big room for Denis but didn't see him. Where had he gone?   
"J? Hold up man!"  
He turned back around as Ryan came up to him.   
"What's up?"  
"A present. For you, from Ronnie." He answered, dropping the keys to the Escalade into his palm.   
"He told me to tell you to go to the Grand Canyon." Ryan said like he thought he was missing a double meaning.   
Jacky smiled and hugged him.   
"Well okay then. I'm guessing it's a good present then?" Ryan asked, patting his back.   
"The best present. Thank you. Have you seen Denis? I can't find him."  
"Uh, he said goodnight, told Ben he was heading upstairs? Maybe he went ahead because he couldn't find you?"   
"Probably. Thanks again Ry. Have a good night and give Becca and Alessa a kiss for me." He said.   
"Will do bud. Will do."

Ryan had been right. Jacky snuck into their suite as quietly as possible and found Denis in the bedroom. He was barefoot and had unbuttoned the top few buttons of his light blue dress shirt. Jacky licked his lips letting his eyes roam over the exposed tattooed skin. He looked good like that.   
"I know you're in here JJ, I heard the door shut." He teased as he undid the rest of the buttons.   
"I was just admiring the uh, scenery. You look damn sexy dressed up like that. Why have we never found a reason to put you in a suit before?" He asked, dropping his coat on the bed.   
"Because I hate them? I'm okay with dressing up but no suits. You though, I like them on."   
Jacky let out a relaxing breath as his tie was removed and his shirt unbuttoned. "Well I think you should wear it one more time." He said, closing his eyes as Denis lightly kissed him.   
"Why should I do that?"  
"To marry me."  
Those odd brown eyes met his own and for a second he felt sick. This was not the reaction he'd imagined.   
"I don't know Jacks...I know what I said downstairs but I wasn't thinking. I mean we haven't been together very long and we're still keeping it a secret from the fans. I think we're not...that. I don't know how to say it." He said, sitting down on the end of the bed.   
Why'd it feel like he'd just taken a battering ram to the chest?   
"Oh." Was all he could get his stupid brain to say.   
"And I don't know if it's even legal since we aren't from here. That's a lot of work to go through for something that we don't know would last that long. Who knows, we may not even be together a week from now. I just- It's a big thing."  
"Do you really believe that? That another week and we won't want to be together?" He asked flatly.   
He shook his head. "No. I don't know why I said that."  
"Because it's scary? We don't have to do anything right now. But those things don't matter. Just excuses."  
"I know...Can we just talk about it more?"  
Jacky got down on his knees in front of him and rested his arms on Denis's knees.   
"Yeah, we can. There's plenty of time. And I know just how to spend it." He said, holding up the keys Ryan had given him.   
Denis took them and gave him a confused look.   
"What do you think about going to see the Grand Canyon?"  
"For real?" He asked excitedly.   
"Duh for real. We can leave in the morning if you want."  
He was almost knocked backwards as Denis kissed him and he had to try not to laugh. It didn't take them very long to ditch the rest of their clothes and crawl under the cool sheets.   
As they lay there in the dark and rough fingers traced up and down his arm Jacky was perfectly content. He really did want this for the rest of his life.   
"D? You awake?"  
There was a mumbled response that sounded something like 'am now'.  
"I wanna tell you something." He said, moving just enought to place little kisses along his jaw."  
"In the morning?"  
"No, now. I wanted you to know that when you asked if I wanted to marry you, my immediate answer was yes. Wouldn't have even hesitated."  
The hand on his arm tightened and didn't release.  
"I'm sorry for freaking out."  
"It's okay, you were scared."  
Jacky felt him shake his head. "That's the thing. I wasn't scared of it. I was scared at how...eas- how much I wanted it. I thought it would be harder making that decision."  
As hope tightened his chest Jacky tried to breathe normal. "What does that mean Denis?"  
"Maybe you should ask me again." He quietly laughed, touching their heads together. Jacky didn't know why he did that all the time but he didn't mind.   
"Okay...even though we haven't known each other a whole year, and our fans don't know, and we're from different countries, and you speak gibberish do you want to marry me?"  
Denis full out laughed at that and then rattled off something in Ukrainian he didn't know but caught his name.   
"What did you just say?"  
They were so close Jacky could feel his lips against his own as he spoke.   
"I said, yes JJ I want to marry you."


End file.
